Resist Me (Change Me Book One - standalone): McCoy Raven Boys (15 page)

I stood in the shower for a long time, numb and spent; maybe even satisfied, at least on a very primal, physical level. What else did I want? Wasn’t it what I was always content with—an orgasm?

Later that night, I returned to bed, listening for any sounds that would indicate Lisbeth was awake. But the cabin was completely quiet. She was asleep.
 

I had to get some rest. I was drowsy and spent. The pillow under my head felt soft against my cheek. And then, mercifully, sleep had come, and I dreamed of Lisbeth’s silky skin under my hands and my tongue licking deep inside her slick, hot opening.
 

Chapter Sixteen

LISBETH
 

The morning sun woke me up. It squeezed its bright rays between the half-closed blinds in the window. I cracked my eyes open and yawned, shielding my face from the light with the crook of my elbow.
 

A delicious smell of coffee teased my senses. I sat up and rubbed my knuckles over my eyes. Ethan must have gotten up already. What time was it? I looked at my wristwatch—nine thirty! Oh, no. He let me sleep so late. For some strange reason, I felt guilty, if I had somewhere to be, something to take care of. I didn’t want him to think I was lazy.
 

But why did I even care? In a couple of days I’d have to leave and find another place to hide. I may never even see Ethan again, because he had no obligation to keep helping me. What he was already doing was enough—much more than anyone had ever done for me. He was actually risking his own safety to give me a place to stay immediately after what had happened yesterday. I wouldn’t ask him for more.
 

With that resolve in mind, I brushed my teeth, wrestled with my hair, trying to put it up and failing terribly. Finally, I settled on braiding it into a simple plait. I changed into a clean t-shirt and shorts, and folded my makeshift pajamas into a neat square on top of the made bed. I’ve been taught in every foster home I stayed in to make my bed in the morning and pick up after myself. That stuck with me. It was a good thing.
 

I looked around the room and saw the clothes I wore yesterday in a small pile. I didn’t have a laundry hamper in here, so I felt excused for that small mess. This was Chris’s outfit and, at some point, it needed to be returned to her, but first I would have to wash it. I knew there were a washer and dryer in the garage, because I noticed them when we arrived in the cabin yesterday. I made a mental note to ask Ethan if I could use them.
 

The heavenly fragrance of freshly brewed coffee got stronger when I opened my bedroom door. My bare feet were quiet on the wooden stairs and then on the hardwood floor downstairs.
 

I entered the kitchen and gulped. Turned with his back to me was shirtless Ethan, wearing only a pair of a low-riding, loose-fitting shorts. His body was sculpted, all angles and ridges, smooth, tanned skin, and hard muscles. He had strong, long legs and a small, taut butt—yes, my eyes went there right away, and it was apparent that I enjoyed the view. More than I should.
 

He was washing something over the sink, his back muscles shifting gently. He was wide in the shoulders and his back tapered down to a small waist.
 

I must have stood in the kitchen door for a while, gaping until he turned his head to look at me.
 

“Good morning,” he said without stopping his task. “Help yourself to some coffee. I just made a fresh pot.”

“Uhm… yeah… sure.” Oh, great. I grew speechless at the mere sight of a half-dressed male. That was quite awkward, but he seemed not to notice my reaction. Or maybe he simply decided to save me some embarrassment.
 

“The coffee mugs are in the cupboard over there.” Ethan pointed across the kitchen to his left.
 

When he finally turned, I saw the tattoo on his left pectoral and shoulder that I got a tiny glimpse of yesterday. It was a flying raven in black ink, with its wings pulled back, large beak curving down, and talons stretched out as if preparing to grab and lift something up in the air.
 

I walked closer, mesmerized by how this image was actually designed. The bird’s whole body was constructed from the other flying ravens. The effect was fascinating—from the distance, the image looked like that of a regular raven, but close up, what seemed to be feathers, were actually the other, smaller ravens.
 

“This is beautiful,” I said quietly, my eyes on the tattoo. “Does it have any specific meaning? Oh, wait… I’m sorry, I don’t mean to pry.” I felt my face grow very hot.
 

“It’s not a secret.” He shrugged, looking at me. There was something masculine and confident in his gaze. “All guys in my family have a raven tattoo, although each of us picked a different design.”

I stared with my eyes wide open, waiting for him to explain the reason behind that weird family tradition. He dried his hands on a towel and crossed the kitchen to retrieve one of the white coffee mugs from the cupboard. I realized it was for me.

“Oh, thanks,” I mumbled.
 

“Grandma Ruth, who’s my father and my uncle’s mom, has been saved by two ravens when she was a small child. She was five at that time. Her family lived in a small village, and their house was the closest to the woods.” Ethan poured some coffee and handed me the mug. “One day, Grandma was playing outside, and a wolf attacked her. Those two ravens came from nowhere and flew down onto the wolf, scaring it off. Since then, they would be often seen sitting on the roof or on a nearby tree, as if watching after Grandma. She says they were her guarding spirits, and if it wasn’t for them, none of us, brats—as she calls us—would exist. So to humor her, we all got raven tattoos for her seventy-fifth birthday; except for the youngest guys, who had to wait a year or more back then until they were allowed to get inked.” He took a sip of coffee, his eyes twinkling with mischief over the brim of the mug.
 

“And I thought this was going to be something symbolic,” I said with a smile.
 

“Ah, like a tribal or a mythology-influenced story?”

“Yes, something like that.” I nodded.
 

“Are you disappointed?” he was totally making fun of me.
 

“Should I be?” I fired back.
 

“Okay, there is a bit of a symbolism behind my tattoo. I chose this design because it reminded me of my crazy family.” Ethan pointed to the raven. “All these birds are like the members of the McCoy clan, and the big mama bird represents Grandma Ruth.”
 

“So she’s like the head of your…
clan
?”
 

He laughed. “She definitely acts like she is. But she’s really cool, and we all love her to death. And yeah, we say
‘the clan’
because we’re so close, it’s ridiculous sometimes. We always seem to hang out together.”
 

I looked at the window and took a small sip of the coffee. The Lake shimmered in the morning sun. It seemed to be a busy day. A few jet skis and motor boats were out, making a lot of ruckus. When Ethan said we were going to hide in his small cabin, I imagined it was a completely secluded place in the middle of nowhere, with no houses and definitely no tourists around. How was this supposed to be a hideout? I guessed, it was probably the best idea ever, because who would have thought to look in such a popular place?
 

We sat for a while in silence, drinking our hot coffee. I turned my face to Ethan and caught him watching me from under half-closed lids. Immediately, my stomach twisted into a tight knot, and my heart did a weird summersault. What was happening? How was he able to make me melt inside with just one glance?
 

I held his gaze, although he was deep in thought, maybe not even realizing that, in fact, his eyes were on me. He reclined in his chair, lazily draping one arm over the armrest. His other hand was lifted to his face, a long, slim finger slowly teasing the corner of his mouth.
 

Oh, dear Lord! He looked so amazingly gorgeous and sexy and hot and… I just wanted to… okay, my mind was playing stupid tricks on me. This was insane and immature of me. I should’ve only felt grateful for him, because he was putting his head on a chopping block for a girl he didn’t even know. But instead, I allowed myself to fantasize about those parted lips and that finger gently playing on them. What the hell?
 

I stood up. “Excuse me,” I choked out and left the kitchen in a hurry.
 

His head shot up as if he woke up from a daydream. I needed some air to clear my mind, so I went outside. The air was warm and pleasant. A gentle wind teased the water, ruffling the surface. The boats and jet skis were much further now, their engines’ noise fading away.
 

I walked to the small deck in front of the cabin and all the way to its end. Crossing my arms over my chest, I stood and squeezed my eyes shut, letting the breeze caress my face. It was like a lover’s gentle touch—something I haven’t felt in months; something, I started to realize, I missed so much.
 

A long, deep breath calmed me down. I looked ahead, to the other side of the Lake. There were quite a few cabins or houses or maybe both. I suspected that some of these buildings were year-round residences, since those looked quite spacious.
 

I glanced to my left and right, but Ethan’s cabin wasn’t near any other buildings on this side of the Lake. It was, in fact, isolated. I made a mental note to ask him how it was even possible that he didn’t have any immediate neighbors.
 

Heavy steps echoed behind me on the wood of the deck. Ethan came to my side and handed me my mug of coffee. It was refilled and steamy with some milk added to it.
 

“Here. I understand you might’ve wanted to abandon my boring company, but why to leave such a perfect cup of coffee behind?”

I couldn’t help but smile at that. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said quietly, in a velvety-soft, low voice.

I didn’t dare to look at him. There was something impossibly irresistible about this man. I couldn’t trust myself to remain detached, and that was a really bad thing. My situation called for me to stay alert and uncommitted to any human being. If I only had any other option, I wouldn’t have accepted Ethan’s offer to hide here. This, from the very beginning, was a dubious kind of an idea. He was too tantalizing, and I was too vulnerable.
 

There was more silence between us. We sat together, watching the beautiful scenery ahead. He didn’t look at me again the way he did inside the cabin. I probably just imagined the whole thing. Why was I coming back to that moment? Why did I overanalyze it and long for what was forbidden? Ethan was forbidden. That was the right way—the
safe
way for me.
 

His cell phone rang, pulling me out of my thoughts. He answered it curtly, “Yeah?”

I could hear a male’s voice on the other side, but couldn’t understand the words.
 

“Not much. We’re just having coffee on the deck,” Ethan said to the phone. “Will do, bro. Thanks.” He hung up and put the phone back into his shorts pocket.
 

“My brother,” he explained and added, “Colton. Just checking on us.”

“That’s nice of him,” I commented.

“Yeah. I told him to keep his mouth shut, or we would have the whole family barging over here to help.” He shook his head. “We need to lay low and not attract any unnecessary attention.”

“Makes sense.” I frowned. “I was just wondering… see there,” I pointed to the other side of the Lake, “all the homes are close together, but right around here, there aren’t any residences close to your cabin. How is that possible?”

“I own a large chunk of the waterfront here. If I wanted to parcel it and sell it off, there could be at least two more houses and no privacy.”

I gulped. That was a lot of land and for sure worth a fortune, since it sat right on the beach.
 

Ethan must have read my mind, because he chuckled and said, “The family helped. My parents are well off, and although I didn’t want to accept any money from them, they convinced me to do just that. I agreed only after I persuaded them to put their names on the deed to actually co-own the property with me.”
 

“That was generous of them,” I commented.
 

“Yes, but it’s also an investment for them, so I’m okay with that. I wouldn’t have done it otherwise. They know I’m stubborn and won’t take handouts.”

Ethan’s cell phone chimed again. He pulled it out and looked at the screen. “Text from Jack,” he announced. “Another one checking on us,” he added, typing a response. “If they all knew what’s going on, I would be getting phone calls and texts nonstop. No, actually, the whole clan would charge in here, ready to take on anyone who might try to stand in their way.”
 

“You’re lucky to have such a caring family.”

He nodded.
 

I thought about calling Jessica, my lawyer. But I didn’t want her to question me again about where I was. She would also try to convince me to reenter the FBI witness protection plan. And that was out of the question. Although, I really needed a plan.