Repented (6 page)

Kevin climbed in and started the car and started back out onto the twisting roads. He was still all smiles and even reached over and took my hand at one time. He was doing his best to reassure me that no matter what everything was going to be okay. But, why didn’t it feel that way? Instead, it felt like walls were closing in.

“Breathe, Kennedy.”

I turned to look at him apologetically. “Sorry. Is it that obvious?”

“Just think, in less than fifteen minutes this will all be behind us. We’ll figure everything out afterward. One thing at a time.”

He pulled into a parking space in front of the building and cut the engine. Being the gentleman he was now, he came and opened my door again. He held out his hand, taking mine; we walked into the lab. After signing in, we were led back to a room and handed an envelope containing the results. With shaky hands, I handed it to Kevin. I just didn’t have the imaginary balls to open it. He pulled out the piece of paper, and his face fell.

What. The. Fuck. No!
That wasn’t the reaction I was hoping for.

He went and took a seat in one of the beat up plastic chairs and just stared at the paper. Taking a deep, cleansing breath, I walked over and slid the paper out of his hands. Reading the results, my heart broke. This couldn’t be right. Kevin wasn’t Skylar’s father. And the timeline didn’t match up with Derek either.
Could this really be happening?

After the night at Kevin's, Derek and I split and I was a mess. I did some things that I’m not so proud of, and this was the price that I was going to pay. There was no way of knowing who his dad was now. As the reality set in, I broke down and cried.

I cried for what I never had, what I would never have.

Needing air, I opened the door and walked outside. With my back against the stucco of the building, I slid down putting my face in my hands and continued to cry. I should have just signed the papers for Derek years ago and avoided all of this heartbreak. Sky would have never been the wiser, Kevin would have been married to Bryn and things would have just stayed the way they were.

Time seemed to have stood still until I felt a hand on my shoulder. Lifting my head, Kevin was kneeling in front of me. He pulled me into a hug, which just made the tears start all over again. I wasn’t used to having someone comfort me when I was hurting. Especially after what just transpired, the last thing I was expecting was his sympathy.

“Kennedy, it’s not the end of the world. Skylar is healthy and happy. You’re doing an amazing job raising him. There are far worse things. Look at what you and Derek went through. Jake didn’t have either of his parents growing up either. Skylar has you. Things may not always be perfect, and I know you’ve struggled, but you’re a great mom. I meant what I said. I’m going to fly back to Phoenix with you tomorrow, and we’re going to get you back on track. I want to do that for you. I'm going to do that for you.”

“How can you say that? I ruined you wedding. I thought you were Sky’s dad, and you’re not. And, you’re still here being so nice to me. I don’t deserve it.”

And I truly felt that way. He had every right to tell me what a horrible person I was. How I ruined his life. Call me every name in the book. Yet, here he stood feeling sympathy for me.

“Listen to me, everything happens for a reason. Maybe you just saved me from making the worst mistake of my life. Maybe Bryn wasn’t who I thought she was. And just maybe, you’ve been through enough. We all make mistakes and honestly, I’m not exactly a poster child for good behavior. I’m not proud of who I was back then, but like you, I’ve turned my life around. I’m not the same person as I was. I’m better, stronger and for the most part I like who I see staring back at me in the mirror. It took a long time, a lot of therapists and support to get to this point. With a little help, you’ll be able to do the same.”

He took my hands, pulling me to my feet and hugged me. Breathing in his cologne, I continued soaking his shirt with heavy tears. 

“My whole life seems to upside down. Why does life have to be so cruel sometimes? I'm so sorry, Kev,” I cried.

“C’mon, let’s go get Skylar. We’ll take him to a movie or something. It's going to be okay.”

I only wish I could feel his optimism.

CHAPTER SEVEN

FOR MY SAKE

KEVIN

The wheels of the airplane hit the tarmac, and we were back in Phoenix. The results from yesterday were still a shocker. When we got back to pick up Skylar, Aubrey was speechless but still sympathetic. Jake made a joke about possibly having fathered a kid or two he didn't know about, and we booked it out of there before we saw the lashing he was about to get. Sometimes he still needed to remember when to shut the hell up. This was one of those times that it would have been in his favor.

I truly did feel bad for Kennedy. The new, improved version of me had a lot of compassion and humanity. It wasn’t hard for people to sway one way or the other. Bad things happen to good people, and vice versa. Life is unexpected, yet beautiful. At the end of the day, Skylar was an innocent in all of this. He didn’t ask to be born. Regardless of the circumstances, I was the one that helped Kennedy run away all those years ago. Even though it was what she wanted, and I didn’t ever want to have to admit what happened that night, it was still wrong. Throughout my past, there were so many things I wished I could go back and change, or do differently. This was one case where I could pay my repentance for my mistake. A chance to do better. I at least wanted some good to come out of this disaster.

After we had left Aubrey and Jake's, Kennedy did her best to put on a brave face. I acted like nothing changed, because in my eyes it hadn't. I wasn't ready to be a dad, but I was willing to accept the challenge. As her friend, I was more than happy to take up an uncle like role in Skylar's life. We went out last night and showed Sky an awesome time. We went to the movies, played games at an arcade, got milkshakes and stayed out past his bedtime. 

When I arrived to get them this morning, Kennedy looked like she barely slept last night. Her hair was piled in a bun on the top of her head; her face was makeup-less. She had on flip-flops, a baggy hoodie, and leggings. I gave her a quick hug and made my way to Skylar messing his hair up. The kid definitely had an awesome head of hair. I handed him a bag from Best Buy.

Last night, on my way home I drove past and had an idea. I watched his face as he saw what it was, which was
priceless.
He stared at the box for the PSP and few games like it was the best thing he'd ever had. Thinking ahead, I took it out of the box and charged it last night so he could play it on the plane ride back. Other than going to security, he hasn't put it down since.

I also had a few more things up my sleeve. Still having some connections here, I contacted a few of my realtor friends and found a place that I thought Kennedy and Skylar would be happy in. The offer was accepted yesterday, and that would be our first stop. I couldn’t wait to see their faces. Money was something I had. I stood to inherit my parent’s fortune from their health clubs and spas, along with the revenue the band brought in. I was sitting pretty.

“Back to reality,” Kennedy yawned. “Thanks again for everything, Kev.”

Looking over at her, I saw the woman she had become. “You’re welcome. Do you mind making a few stops before we head back to your place? Just some business stuff. It will be quick, I promise.”

“Yeah, no worries. It’s not like I have a whole lot waiting on me.”

Reaching overhead, I grabbed our suitcases and waited for the line to start thinning so we could get off. Phoenix no longer felt like home, neither did LA. Smithville had become home over the past year, and I couldn’t wait to get back there. It's funny how things change in the blink of an eye. We don’t always know why, or even the reason, sometimes we don't ever find out, and in most cases it's for the best.

Even though it wasn't in my best judgment, I was glad to have had the couple nights with Dana. It helped me realize that I was no longer the old Kevin. I didn't want to go back to being a junkie that didn't know, nor care, what day it was or who I hurt.

The overweight, balding man in front of us was taking his sweet ass time exiting and complaining the entire way to anyone that would listen to him. Sometimes I really had to fight the urge to be an asshole and keep my mouth shut. Had it been Derek or Blake this guy would have had his own earful. I could see the gate and after a few more minutes the stewardesses were thanking us for flying with him and to have a good stay. The next thing to do was get to the car so that we could get this show on the road.

KENNEDY

I was running on empty. The past several days had been mentally exhausting, a rollercoaster, a head-on collision, and I just needed some room to breathe. Since arriving in LA, it was nonstop chaos, and I hadn't had the chance to process most of it. There was never a time that I was looking forward to heading back to my tiny little place more than right now. Hell, I was welcoming it.

Life was going to keep moving forward. Though at times painful, it was actually nice to see the guys. Even though the circumstances and end result were not what I was hoping for at all, it was time to close that chapter. Derek was moving on. The papers were signed and filed. It was time to put the past behind once and for all. I was grateful to have reconnected with Kevin and our at first awkward relationship had quickly moved into an easy friendship.

Once we entered the airport, Sky was wheeling his suitcase walking right next to Kevin. They were talking and laughing at what each other were saying, and it was like another unwanted blow about him missing out on having a father. Maybe it was time that I started opening up my heart again. The last ten years, I put every ounce of energy into raising Skylar. Boyfriend seemed like a foreign word. It was time for me to start leaving the shadows and maybe meet my Prince Charming.

Keeping pace behind them, we caught the shuttle bus to the rental car place. Kevin went in to talk to the man at the front desk who handed him keys and a manila envelope. He motioned for me and Sky to follow him. He clicked the key fab to a white Ford Explorer and loaded the bags into the trunk.

Kevin climbed in the driver's seat and started in the opposite direction of where we lived. He was especially quiet, but I could tell he was thinking. His brow always furrowed when he was deep in thought. I turned and saw Skylar with his face back in his PSP, oblivious to anything going on around him. Leaning back, I closed my eyes.

Kevin nudged me awake. “Hey sleepy head, we’re here.”

Turning to look at him, he smiled and rubbed my thigh. “M’kay.” It was all I could manage. At this point, I was going to need a day or three, in bed to catch up. We were in front of a house in one of the nicer neighborhoods outside of Phoenix near where Kevin’s parents lived. It was an off-white two-story stucco house with gray shutters.

“C’mon, I just need to see someone quick.” I followed him and Skylar up the manicured walkway to the red door, which he opened without knocking. “Hello,” he called out, but the place was empty. “Hmmm, that’s odd. I could have sworn someone lived here.” He walked toward the back of the house to where the kitchen was located and picked up an envelope and opened it. It looked like it contained a stack of papers. “That’s right, someone does live here." He reached out and took my hand and placed a key inside my palm and closed it. "You do.”

What the hell? Is he serious?

“Shut up,” I told him. "That is not even funny!"

“I’m dead serious. I bought it for you yesterday. Luckily, the previous owners had already moved and were anxious to get it sold.”

He seemed so proud of himself.

“Kev, there’s no way I can accept this. Not after everything that happened, and even then.” I couldn’t help it, the tears started to fall. For most of my life, there was no one to rely on except myself.

“That’s not all. You know my mom has a few luxury spas, there’s one less than ten minutes from here, and she’s been looking for someone to run it for a while now. It’s yours for the taking, plus you’ll have benefits and paid vacation. It’s time for a fresh start ”

KEVIN

Sobbing, she pulled me into a tight embrace.

“I don’t know how to ever thank you! You changed both our lives forever. Can you pinch me?”

I reached my hand down and pinched her lightly on the ass causing her to giggle.

“As much as I would really love to stay and help you get situated, Jake needs me to fly to Michigan and pick up the new tour bus. Then I have to race back to Smithville to have it wrapped and decaled. The next few weeks are going to be hectic, but there's a guest room and I'll expect you to go get a comfy bed to put in it so I can visit. You have my number if you need
anything
just ask. This is just the beginning. I promise I'll be back." I leaned over and kissed her cheek.

Skylar came running over after leaving his PSP on the counter and jumped into my arms. "I know you're not my dad, but if I could pick on he'd be just like you."

I was starting to become emotional since he and I started bonding. Looking over at Kennedy, her eyes were filled with tears. I didn't want to have to leave them as soon as I got them here, but my flight was coming up, and I couldn't miss it. Reaching into my back pocket, I pulled out another envelope and handed it to her.

"There's some money for furniture and stuff in there, and that car isn't a rental, it's yours." I started laughing. Her shocked reaction was epic! "Close your mouth before you start catching flies."

"Shut up!" She cried.

"I heard yours was a POS and I can't have my little buddy driving around in something that isn't safe."

Setting everything down on the counter, I walked over and wrapped my arms around him and picked him up one last time. After putting him down, I motioned for Kennedy to follow me to the door so we could say goodbye.

"You know I didn't expect or even want any of this from you right?"

I leaned down and kissed her forehead one last time. "I know, but you deserve it, so enjoy it. If you want the job, my mom's number is in the envelope. Just call her and set up a start date." The honking cab was out front of the house, so we said one last goodbye. For now.

Just like that, I was on my way back to the fucking airport. Feeling exhausted, I was looking forward to getting back to Smithville and crashing for a week straight. Hopefully, I’d be able to catch some z's on the plane ride. I wished I had more time to help her get settled and visit my folks, but duty called.

After rushing to the airport, I barely had enough time to make my plane to Michigan. Most of my things that I wanted with me I had already shipped from LA, and at this rate would most likely make it to Smithville before I did. I had my realtor put the apartment on the market. I didn't need a reminder of my failure and honestly, unless it was band related I didn't feel the need to go back there. It was like black hole for my soul.

After printing my ticket at the kiosk, I hurried over to the security line. I hoped since I only had a carry-on backpack it wouldn’t take long. I’d barely had time to breathe, let alone process what’s transpired the past week. It was eventually going to catch up to me, and I was going to end up crashing. I had worked too long and hard on being positive and optimistic to let this get the best of me. There was no going back to the old me. A person with as many demons as I had couldn’t risk a relapse. I realized I did need to find a happy medium instead.

I was snapped out of my reverie when the security was apparently gesturing me to put my things into the basket and step through the metal detector. Kicking off my Chucks, I quickly took off my studded belt and tossed everything into a bin pushing it forward. Stepping through the scanner, I managed not to send off the alarms and waited for my things to come to the end of the conveyor.

After I got my shoes back on, I practically had to sprint to the gate making it with only a few minutes to spare. There wasn’t going to be any other flights there for the rest of the day, so if I missed it I would have been screwed, and Jake would have been super pissed. This tour was coming together super fast, and we weren’t going to have much downtime before hitting the road. We all knew that Guilty Tendencies were going to take off once we got them out there and built their following. Knowing Jake, he wouldn’t stop until they became a household name.

“Flight 529 to Detroit Metropolitan, Michigan is now boarding. Please line up according to the number on your ticket and wait to be called. We’re now boarding first class and those with special accommodations.”

Since I was flying first class, I stepped around my fellow passengers and made my way onto the plane. I didn’t always fly first class, but this flight looked like it was full and I was grateful for the ability today. After placing my backpack in the overhead, I slid into the window seat enjoying the comfortable leather surrounded me. It wouldn’t be long before I passed out from exhaustion.