Repented (20 page)

He just opened a can of worms for himself now. Knowing what was coming, I grabbed Kevin's hand and dragged him upstairs. Doing my best to keep my nerves under control, I slipped my shoes off and sat on the edge of the bed. I patted the spot next to me and waited for him to take a seat. He slipped his hand into mine.

Swallowing the bile that rose in my throat, I knew there was a possibility that he'd want nothing to do with me after I spilled my guts. It was something I was going to have to risk. He put everything out there with me from day one, and I should have done the same. This was going to be a big bomb to drop.

"I have more that I need to tell you about the Damon thing. I'm afraid you're going to hate me. This life would kill me if I didn't have you, and I didn't want to risk it, but you deserve to know everything. I also need you to promise and keep an open mind."

He leaned in to kiss my cheek. "Nothing is going to change how I feel. You've been drinking though. Are you sure you want to do this now?"

"Liquid courage." I nodded. I needed to get it out before I lost my lady balls. I was so distracted most of the night, knowing what I was planning on telling him. "When I was in college I worked summers at my Dad's company. It was when I first started dabbling in the drugs with Damon. My addiction grew. It started to become an expensive habit. Even though my dad put money for expenses in my account every month, we were going through that in about a week, week and a half, give or take. I started by taking small amounts of money from the business account to see if he would notice. At first, he didn't. Then when he did, I obviously denied it. I blamed accounting. He wasn't stupid, but he thought it was just for Damon. That was the first time he chased Damon off. He didn't know I was using. And just like the drug, I couldn't quit him either."

I paused trying to collect my thoughts. Kevin rubbed my back reassuringly and pulled me to his chest. "You don't have to keep going."

"No, you need to hear everything." I took a deep breath, breathing him in and saying a silent prayer. "Damon became my whole world. He manipulated me. He used me. Who I talked to. What I wore. Where I went. Everything. Only at the time, I didn't see it like that. I saw it as him wanting to keep me safe and keep me to himself. He was smooth about it. He managed to make me feel special while making me feel completely unworthy. I had dated some guys before him, but they were all focused on hanging with their friends and going to bars. I never had anyone devote themselves to me like he did. I was young and naive. I had a harsh wake up the summer after I graduated college."
Just breath, Mads.
I told myself. "I found out I was pregnant. I stopped using right away. I was terrified of what damage I may have already done. In an effort to try and get Damon to stop using, I stopped giving him money to feed his habit. He became resentful and desperate. He started taking pieces of my jewelry to pawn them. I kicked him out and never felt more terrified and alone. He started being very distant and malicious. He insisted that the baby wasn't his. Long story short, I broke my own heart loving him."

Tears started streaming down my face as the memory replayed in my mind. I didn't want to remember that night."He showed up at my apartment with a group of guys. It was his dealer and a couple of runners. Apparently Damon owed them, and they used me as payment. After they had left, he wanted nothing to do with me for months. I ended up having a miscarriage shortly after the attack. Even though I was devastated, I felt relieved at the same time. From the time I was little, I always knew I wanted to have a family, but I didn't want one like that. I wanted someone that loved me and wanted the same things, but I would have loved him or her regardless."

He did his best to soothe me. I felt like a horrible person confessing everything. It sounded so much worse verbalizing it than it did in my mind, and it was pretty horrible there. "I had no idea, Mads. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. You already know I've struggled with substance abuse. I relapsed twice a few months ago when we were in LA right after the wedding fiasco. It wasn't worth it, but it's so easy to get sucked into. Once you're there, it's almost impossible to drag yourself out. I was at a point when I met Bryn that I almost hoped I wouldn't wake up. It was just so hard to even get out of bed and pretend to function like a normal human. I can't believe he'd let them do that to you. That's not love, princess."

Anger was etched hard across his handsome face.

"After all that went down, he didn't show up for a few months. I was in law school and struggling with depression. When he came back into my life for the hundredth time, he swore up and down that he'd changed. Not wanting to be lonely, and since he was the only person I felt like I could confide in, I let him back in. It was a constant ebb and flow thing with us. Hot and cold. As much as I wanted anyone but him, he made it so that he was all I wanted. He kept borrowing money, or just taking it. He was my drug of choice for so long. There was an episode around Fourth of July when Bri was visiting, and that was the final straw for me. I realized that there are far worse things than being alone. Around the same time, my parents caught on. I'm still not sure if Bri told them, but I wouldn't be mad at her even if she did. I needed a harsh wake-up call. Damon's held all of that over my head for so long. I was so ashamed. I feel like such a horrible person. I was so stupid."  

Kevin took his thumbs and ran them under my eyes, wiping my tears away. "You're so strong. I love you."

I moved to straddle him and melted myself into him. He was my safe place. He was my home. He was who I was meant to be with. It was a long, painful road finding him, but in the end I knew in my gut that it was worth it.

"I love you, too. Now you know everything."

And he did. He was still here despite me sharing my dark past. I was grateful for every day I got to spend with him. Even though it was still new, I would gladly spend the rest of my life with him by my side. Maybe, just maybe, everything would end up being okay...

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

LIFE OF THE PARTY

Two weeks later...

KEVIN

Waking up, it was Christmas Eve. I had been doing my best to spend all my free time with Madison. We haven't heard anything from Damon, but my gut told me that he was still lying in wait to strike. Madison was back to working at her internship. She finally got her scores back from the bar exam, and she passed. I was so proud of her.

Austin and Bri had been spending more time together. It was hard to tell if it was turning into something more serious. Regardless, seeing them happy together was nice. He was going through a rough patch and from what Madison explained about how Bri's circumstances they were a good match. Bri warmed up to Austin almost right away. From the beginning, I got accused of hauling bodies and the cold shoulder. I knew I wasn't the easiest person to always get along with either, but Bri could take it to a new level.

Madison and I were still going strong. There were a few bumps, but that's to be expected when you fall as fast as we did. We were still on a learning curve, but we clicked where it mattered most. With everything out in the open, we were moving in the right direction and working to build our future.

Today, I sat in the living room with Austin waiting for her and Bri to arrive for the huge Parker Christmas extravaganza. Austin was seriously crushing on Bri, and I was happy for him. He was at a fork in the road too. It was hard leaving everything you've ever known and giving it up for music. Seeing her white BMW pull up, I practically leaped off the couch to greet her.

Last night was one of the first nights we've spent apart since we met and after the incident. Sleep didn't come easy, since I was already growing accustomed to having her next to me. She was my serenity. Just her touch brought me to my happy place. Jake knew exactly what I meant. Pretty much from the time he locked eyes on Aubrey he knew that no matter what, she was it for him. That's exactly the way that I felt about Madison.

She climbed out looking stunning in a white, fitted, knee length dress with red heels. My heart rate picked up, and I closed in on her. She raised her arms around my neck and pressed her cherry red lips to mine.

"Get a room," Bri laughed. She fist pumped Austin, and he grinned like a lunatic.

"You look fantastic. I can't wait to show you off."

She gave me her signature smile and followed me inside. She yelled hello to Austin as I practically dragging her upstairs. I opened  the door to my room and led her to have a seat on the bed. Walking over to the chaise lounge, I motioned to the pile of mostly last minute presents like Vana White on Wheel of Fortune. Madison smiled looking slightly embarrassed.

Feeling like a little kid on Christmas, I picked up a box and walked over to where she was sitting.

"You went a little overboard," she said eyeing the pile.

I grinned. "Sorry, I couldn't help it."

Handing her the first box, it was wrapped in silver with a huge red bow. She carefully peeled back the paper and lifted up the lid to the white box. Tears formed in her beautiful, green eyes, and I just hoped they were the happy kind.

"It's so beautiful. And perfect. And expensive."

She lifted the black leather briefcase out and opened it up. She opened the rest of the presents. I got her business cards, a name plate for her desk and had a picture of us framed.

"It's all too much," she cried.

"Hey," I lifted her chin and kissed her. "It's not nearly enough. I want you to have the entire world. I know it sounds crazy. Hell, it's only been a couple weeks, but in my gut I just know. I never thought I’d risk getting hurt again, but when I’m with you it all seems worth it."

"I feel the same way." She hugged me and handed me two presents. One was a leather bracelet with an infinity symbol and our initials. The other was the exact picture I had framed printed onto canvas with live, laugh, love printed below it.

"I love both of them. Thank you, princess."

Just as I was ready to settle in for some snuggle time before the festivities, we heard a noise coming from downstairs. As much as I didn't want to leave the comfort of my room, it seemed like Austin may need backup.

"Why do you get like that?" He sighed.

She stood across from him with her arms crossed. "Like what?" Bri yelled.

Austin blew out a breath and shook his head in frustration. "You get all bitchy. It makes me bitchy."

"Well don't get bitchy with me, I can do it better. Why don't you grow some balls?"

"Why don't I grow some balls?" He yelled back. "Why don't you go grow some?"

"I have balls they're called tits, and they're right here," she leaned her chest in his face. "Mine are here to prevent chaffing."

He threw his hands up. "Gah, you're impossible sometimes. I thought I was doing something nice."

"Go fuck a blowfish. Or me..." She pounced on him, and they were back to kissing.

It was obvious that they weren't fighting, it was more just how they communicated. It usually happened when Austin did something stupid, which to Bri was often. They had the most functional, dysfunctional relationship. But for them, it just worked. They were still trying to figure each other out.

"Let them figure it out," Madison tugged on my arm and shut the door. "Your face is a work of art, we should frame it with my legs."

I didn't need any more incentive than that.

An hour later, we walked across the lawn to the main house. Aubrey had gone all out, as usual. Granny sat in the living room in her normal wing-backed chair, glass of whiskey in one hand. Her face was beaming watching the excitement of the little ones anticipating Santa's arrival. They were going to need a dumpster for wrapping paper alone. Madison had already met most of the people here. I introduced her to everyone she hadn't and kept her close all night.

She fit in like the perfect addition. She wasn't intimidated by any of it, even if she was it didn't show. Aubrey and Piper took to her right away, and they've let her join in on things. I was so lucky to have them as friends. Them and Granny were the only stamps of approval I really needed to know that she was it for me.

Was I turning
balls to the wall?
It was a definite possibility.

Jake pulled me aside and into his office.

He clapped me on the shoulder. "Dude, you're fucking glowing like a pregnant chick."

I felt my cheeks redden at his statement. "It's all her, man. I've never felt this way about anyone before. It was like when our eyes met; all the roads led to her."

"I know what you mean. That's how it was when I met Aub. No matter how much she pushed me away, I pushed back until she gave in and saw what I knew all along. I just wanted to take a minute to tell you how proud I, we, all are of you. You could have easily fallen into old ways and lost yourself with everything that happened. Instead, you rose and now you've found glory. It just means a lot to me that we've been friends all this time, and it really fucking sucked watching you at your lowest. She's perfect for you, dude. She's smokin', your intellectual match, plus it's obvious she just gets you." He grinned.

"She really does. She knows
everything,
and she's still here. That has to mean something, right?"

"Hell yes! Don't let her go."

"I don't plan on it." I paused. "I actually already bought a ring."

"I knew it," he said a few octaves too high. He pulled me into a bro hug and opened the door.

The rest of the night, he walked around like a kid with his hand stuck in the cookie jar because he knew something no one else did. We moved into the dining room for dinner. After stuffing our faces with turkey, ham, and all the delicious sides, plates were filled with desserts before calling it a night.

Derek cleared his throat and tapped his glass with a knife. The loud room went silent. 

"I'd like to propose a toast." He stood. All eyes were on him. "Actually, fuck it, I want to propose." He turned to face Joss and dropped to one knee, pulling a box from under the table. "Joss, we all have someone who thinks we’re flawless when we’re flawed. Someone who thinks we’re unbroken when we’re slightly cracked. Someone who gives us hope when we’re full of doubt. Someone who sees the beauty in them when we can’t see the reflection. The person who is the other half of their whole. That’s what you are to me. I know now that relationships don’t just happen, they take two people willing to face any obstacle thrown their way. I know how far from perfect I am, but you make me better. You make me feel like the luckiest guy in the world by just being mine. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife and making cute babies with me?”

She all but jumped out of the chair and knocked him to the ground.

"Yes!" She shouted. "Yes! Yes! A million times yes!" She kissed him hard. Raising her right hand, showing off the impressive diamond ring.

"Looks like we're going to be introducing a new Scott to the family." Derek beamed.

"Actually..." Joss paused reaching into her purse hanging on the back of the chair. "I was going to wait until tomorrow, but we'll actually be introducing two new Scott's this year."

Blake looked blissfully pissed. Derek knocked up his baby sister. Before he put a ring on it. I tried to hide my amusement. We all did.

"Are you fucking serious?" Derek cried. His eyes filling with fucking tears.

Joss nodded with tears in her eyes.

"Damn, I was hoping to have more time to practice, but this is by far the best present I could ever ask for. I get the woman I love and a piece of us." His hand skimmed over her stomach.

"Phew. I'm glad you're happy. It was all that awesome tour lovin'." She smirked.

"Baby, the next girl I love will be our daughter."

"How are you so sure it's going to be a girl?" Joss asked, cocking an eyebrow.

In unison Jake, Blake, Derek and I all said, "karma!"

Derek's dad sat quietly next to Granny Jean clearly choked up. I knew it was a bittersweet thing for him. Ever since Derek's brother died because of him driving drunk, he had to carry that weight around. This was a second chance for him too. It was going to be a new year with new beginnings. So much to look forward to.

Later after we said our goodbyes, we went to Madison's parents house to spend the night there. Bri and Austin were coming too. Apparently, it was a tradition. I had been secretly planning another surprise for Madison. I couldn't wait to give it to her tomorrow. Mike had been in on it.

Jake and Aubrey had been tirelessly planning the second annual Crystal Parker House charity. Of course, Guilty Tendencies would be there as well. It was just another way that we tried to give back and make a positive impact. They have been looking for ways to expand the charity outside of just the Phoenix area. I was proud to be a part of it. I also scheduled the time with my parents so they'd be around and get to meet Madison.

Kennedy was excited that I'd be coming for a visit. I mailed their presents at the beginning of the week. I was sending them on a trip to Disney World during Sky's spring break. Things were coming together there too. She met a nice guy Dane that's a regular at the spa, and they hit it off. She's slowly stepping back into the dating world, and I was happy for her. A few people asked how I wasn't resentful about what she caused. There was no way I could feel that way, especially since it led me to Madison. I found myself when I met her. Every fuck up, every bad thing led me to her.

We got situated in her room. I laughed when she tried coming onto me. She was a minx sometimes. We had already had sex earlier and as much as I don't think Mike would mind, it just felt wrong. She pouted, and I hated telling her no, but tomorrow was another day. Turning off the light on the end table, I pulled her close to me. I loved how perfectly she fit pressed up against me. I leaned closer and breathed in the scent of her shampoo. She sighed and wrapped her hand around mine.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too, princess. Sweet dreams."

The next morning, we were up early and downstairs. Mary had whipped up an amazing breakfast of French toast, bacon and eggs Benedict. I missed bacon when I was vegan. It's such a greasy, delicious bastard. The smell made my stomach growl. Plates piled high, we all sat in the dining room laughing. It was nice to be part of a family unit. They had been through a lot but remained intact and close.

Bri and Austin were in good spirits this morning too. I also had a feeling that they didn't abide by the no sex rule. They were like teenagers. In fact, I think they put us all to shame. They still didn't have a title and things were still playing out, but I hoped they'd stick together. There was no telling with those two though, but I had hope.

After breakfast, Madison helped Mary clean up and load the dishwasher. I used the opportunity to call my parents before we piled into the living room. The massive tree sat front and center in front of the massive bay window. Under the tree was filled with gifts. Madison went and sat on the floor and started handing out presents. The first was to Mike from me.

He eyed me before tearing open the envelope. A boyish grin spread across his face, and I knew I did well. "What do you think you know me or something?" He laughed, holding it out for Mary to see. "It's a certificate to go race down at the track. I get a few lessons too."