Repented (13 page)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CONFESSIONS

KEVIN

I spent most of the day trying to keep myself busy. After I had got home, I texted Madison to confirm our plans for tonight. Which turned into a phone call and staying up until two in the morning talking. It felt like I was a teenager again. She was sharp and witty, yet funny and charming. Her personality was incredible.

Finally, four o'clock rolled around, and it was time to get ready to head to her house for dinner. Glancing in the mirror one last time, the person staring back at me was happy and excited. Something that I hadn't felt for some time. It almost felt like it was too good to be true, but I was still a firm believer in fate. Some people are just meant to cross paths, and that's exactly how I felt about Madison.

Cranking the stereo with a stupid grin on my face, I sped into town. There were a few stops to be made before I made the twenty minute trip to her house. Walking into the florist, I picked out two dozen roses. Pink for gratitude, white for new beginnings, orange for passion, yellow for friendship, and one thorn-less red one for love at first sight. That last one was going to be my little secret. After paying for the flowers, I walked across the street to the liquor store and picked up a bottle of Merlot, hoping it would go well with whatever she was making for dinner.

At almost exactly five, I pulled up to her small, white ranch on a quiet street. Grabbing the flowers and the wine, I headed up the sidewalk with my heart racing. I rang the doorbell and waited for her to answer. She opened it, and my breath hitched. Her subtle makeup and smile were as perfect as I remembered. Her long blonde hair was curled and hung down past her shoulders. The dark purple sweater dress she had on showcased her curves and I suddenly forgot how to move.

"Come in, silly. It's freezing out." She stepped to the side and let me in.

Kicking my shoes off on the mat next to the door, I handed her the flowers and wine.

"Thank you, they're beautiful. And this will go perfectly with dinner. I hope you like lasagna. It's my secret recipe."

I followed her into her tiny kitchen where she reached for a vase under the sink, filling it with water and putting the flowers inside. She smelled them before placing them on the table. Even though her house was on the smaller side, the inside was bright like she was. The kitchen was painted a pale blue, with white cabinets and appliances. There were pops of dark blue throughout and it was clutter free. Could she possibly be as OCD as I am?

As if in an answer to my thought, she grabbed a bottle of cleaning spray and wiped down the countertop where she just prepared the roses. Since I have these cleaning tendencies, I can tell when people are doing it because they're expecting company and when they do it because the thought of bacteria gets to them. She was definitely the latter. That made me happy.
Sigh.
I had this sudden desire to go check out her bathroom. Yeah, I know it sounds creepy, but I could never live with a slob. When Derek and I shared an apartment when we first moved to LA, I nearly needed meds.

"Make yourself at home. Dinner should be ready in fifteen."

She grabbed two wine glasses and a corkscrew. Pouring us each a glass, she handed one to me and walked into the living room. A fire roared in the white fireplace. The smell of it added to the romantic night. She sat in the corner of the couch and curled her legs to the side. Taking a sip of wine, she patted the spot next to her.

"I promise, I don't bite."

Setting my glass down on the coffee table, I took up residence next to her. I didn't want to start drinking just yet. I wanted to enjoy every second  I could with her. Knowing that honesty was the only way relationships can survive, I had a lot to tell her tonight. I talked it over with Jake and Blake this morning, and they agreed that I just put everything out there, so there's no repeat of what happened with Bryn. The thought of her being repulsed or pushing me away made my stomach roll.

Wanting to savor the moments, I memorized her perfect face.

"Thank you for cooking. I would have been more than happy to take you somewhere," I needed to break the silence.

"Actually, I love cooking. I don't do it as much as I'd like to with my schedule. Besides, you took me out yesterday."

She placed her hand in mine. The same feeling was still there. That spark. She put her glass down and looked at me. Chewing on her bottom lip, she seemed to be contemplating something. Next thing I knew, she was straddling me with her arms around the back of my neck. Her lips were on mine, and we moved in perfect synchrony. The heat of it made me hard. I knew I was pressing up against her ass, which was only covered by leggings. There was no way she didn't feel it. I didn't want her feeling like I was expecting this, but I didn't want it to stop. I wanted her more than I'd ever wanted anything.

Knowing if I didn't put a stop to it I wouldn't be able to, I pulled back breathing heavy.

Taking her chin in my hand, I gazed into her eyes. "That was the best kiss I've ever had." I meant it. She smiled, but it didn't meet her eyes. I sensed something. Maybe disappointment? Or was it hurt? Feeling the need to clarify, I kissed her lightly again. "Madison, you are stunningly beautiful and believe me, my pulling away has nothing to do with not wanting you. Trust me, it's the complete opposite. I want you too much, and I want to do this right. You deserve to know all about me so that you can make an informed decision. You may want nothing to do with me after I put it all on the table."

Her face softened. "Is it crazy to say there's pretty much nothing that you can tell me that's going to scare me away? Unless you were some psychopath, of course." She laughed. "The only exception is if you're like Dexter, him I like. Who you were in the past has no bearing on who you are now. It may have helped mold you into who you've become and that's the Kevin that I want to know. We all have pasts. We've all done things we're not proud of. At the end of it all, it's who you become after all is said and done. Besides, I'm not exactly Miss Perfect either."

The timer chimed, and she climbed up and moved into the kitchen. I grabbed out wine glasses and took them to the table for two she had set up. Pulling two plates from a cabinet, she took the bubbling lasagna out of the oven and placed it on the stove. The aroma made my mouth water. I loved Italian food. Reaching into the fridge, she pulled a bowl of salad out and placed it on the table. Taking a spatula, she placed portions onto plates and added a couple pieces of garlic bread before coming and taking a seat next to me.

I could sense she was still a little hesitant about me pulling away earlier, but her mood had improved. After waiting for her to sit, I picked up my fork and thanked her again for cooking. The taste of tomatoes, garlic, basil, and parsley filled my mouth, along with the cheese, and what I assumed was possibly sausage. It was delicious. We continued eating in mostly comfortable silence. I had filled my wine glass twice before I felt like I could start spilling my guts.

As much as I already adored her, she needed to understand what she was getting. With me and my baggage. I held nothing back. I told her about Kennedy, the wedding, the drugs, the drinking, the pre-LA Kevin, the LA Kevin. The good, the bad, the worse, the ugly, the horrific. Everything. She sat there, not even batting an eyelash. It made me wonder if I just blew what I thought could be something magical.

When I was finished, she placed her hand in mine and smiled.

"I'll say it again, we all have pasts. I have one too, ya know. Show me a man with no scars, and I'll show you a man that led a dull life. My Gramps used to say that all the time. No one is perfect. If you pretended to be something you weren't, I would know, and that would make me have less respect for you. The fact that you just poured your heart out to me means more to me than you'll ever know. It means you have a heart, and scars, and that you're real. All that matters to me is who you are now and even in this very short time; I can tell that you are someone that I want to be around. To be with." Tears formed in her sparkling green eyes. "Kevin, I've never met anyone like you before. I don't care about your fame or your money. I would like you just as much if you were broke and worked at 7-11. There's something about you that makes me want never to leave your side and in twenty-seven years I have
never
felt that about anyone."

The sigh that I let out after she finished made her giggle. Where has she been my entire life? Granny Jean always said you have to go through the worse times to appreciate the best. She's always right. I had been through hell a few times.

"So since we've been drinking, and I'm feeling slightly emotional, I have an odd request..." Chewing on her bottom lip, "would you stay the night? I mean just sleep. We don't have to do anything else, but I don't want you to leave."

Was she crazy? Like I would say no, I was a guy. I wanted her. "As long as that's what you want."

I was going to be on my best behavior, but I craved her already. She led me down the hallway to the last door on the left and opened the door. Her room was painted a pale blue-gray with white trim. A queen size bed sat in the middle of the room with all white linens and a dark gray headboard. Clothes were strewn across her dresser and next to the closet.

"Sorry my room was clean, but then I had to decide what to wear."

Shaking my head, I laughed. I tried on four different outfits too. We talked and laughed. We kissed, and I remained in full control. Finally, she kept yawning and turned on her side pressing her back up against my chest. I held her close to me watching how peacefully, beautiful she looked while she slept.

It was like the universe shifted as the minutes ticked by. I decided, no matter what, I was going to climb out of the trenches and fight for her love. I was going to earn her. She was like an angel that was made just for me. She had that sparkle that I'd been lacking. She was the jolt that was going to bring me back to life. Holding her close, I drifted off.

The next morning, I woke up before her and rushed to the kitchen to make her breakfast in bed. I whipped together some French toast, bacon, and fresh strawberries. After pouring a glass of orange juice, I made my way back to her room. Placing the tray down on her end table, I bent down and kissed her perfect lips.

Opening her eyes, Madison smiled at me.
Would it always be like this?
Two days and already all I could think about was her. It was Sunday, so luckily neither of had anywhere to be. We ate breakfast. She snuggled up against my side and made me watch
Water for Elephants.
Which, I'm not ashamed to admit I enjoyed. Not as much as her company though. The hours passed seamlessly. Around lunch time, we went to a deli down the street and ordered soup and grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch.

"Tell me about your family," she asked.

"You already know I'm from Phoenix. My parents are what you would consider free loving, hippies. Back in the late seventies, my dad had this idea to start a chain of health clubs. They've since taken off. They used the gain of the clubs to help my mom start her luxury spa and wellness centers. There's eight so far just in the Phoenix area, and they're currently looking to expand. I grew up well off, but they were so focused on growing and expanding that I was raised by nanny's until I was a teenager. Then I ran free. That's when I started getting into trouble. I had too much unsupervised time on my hands. "It was detailed enough for her to get the point and I wasn't purposefully leaving anything out. "So I told you about my family; I want to hear about yours."

"I'd love to see where you're from one day. I've never been. As for me, we moved here from Michigan about ten years ago to get out of the city. My parents, Michael, and Mary, live a few blocks away from me, and we're close. Growing up, Bri, and I were more like sisters. Bri's dad, Dan was the family outcast and succumbed to an early demise at the age of thirty-one. Her mom couldn't handle being a mother, which left her in the care of our grandfather. My parents offered to take her in when we moved, but she wanted to stay in Michigan. Then when Gramps got sick, she wouldn't leave him. We brought in nurses to help while she was at school, but it really took a toll on her. She's stubborn and chooses to work for everything she had. She used to be much more carefree."

A sadness formed in her beautiful, green eyes. I reached my hand over and took hers. Deciding I needed to change the subject, "so I know it's soon, but I'd love to take you to Arizona next time I go. It will probably be soon, maybe after Christmas."

Her eyes lit up. "I'd love that!"

"I'm curious, you said you chose law over becoming a doctor because of blood," I laughed.

"Well yeah, there's no way I could ever scalpel anyone. From the time I was little, I always wanted to help people. Law just seemed like the right choice for me. I want to do as many pro-bono cases as possible. Wrongful convictions, abuse cases. Don't get me wrong, I want to make a nice living. I would just like to have the capacity to help people that can't help themselves."

This was what it felt like to have something that was effortless. She was already pretty much proving to be my intellectual equal. We had many similar interests, values, and goals.
Me too
was becoming a constant phrase. Even though I had been trying to avoid it, it was hard not to see some of the similarities between her and Bryn. At the same time, they were polar opposites. Madison was slightly quirky in the best way possible. She knew she was smart and beautiful, but she didn't walk around like she was perfect. She not only accepted flaws, but she also embraced them.