Renewing Hope (In Your World #2) (15 page)

Outfitted for a mini picnic, I grinned and hurried toward the barn, just as the rain started to fall. I found Nathan near the back of the building, pulling out rusty nails from some old planks of wood he had stacked beside him. A gaping hole in the side of the barn was letting in a cool breeze from the thunderstorm that was rolling in.

He looked up from his task to smile and raised an eyebrow at the items in my hand before returning to the board. He pulled out the last of the nails and tossed the plank onto the stack of finished boards. He was dirty from the work of the day, his shirt damp around the neck from the hot humid air. He had rolled up his sleeves so that his arms were bare and glistening with sweat. He licked his lips and took a step toward me, wiping his forehead with the handkerchief from his back pocket.

"Please tell me you have a cold beverage in your arms. I forgot your drink after lunch," he said, grinning when I produced the thermos.

He thanked me and took a long drink, some of the tea dribbling out the side of his mouth and down his neck.

Sweaty, dirty Nathan Fisher was quite a sight to behold.

Add to that the rivulet of liquid running down into his shirt, and it was all I could do to swallow down my want and try to think of November. We had six more weeks of baptism classes and then the rush of the baptism itself before the wedding.

It was still so far way!

"What are you thinking?" Nathan whispered, standing a little closer to me.

"November," I whispered and felt my face turning hot.

"The winter vegetables should be ready by then, yes?" he said innocently, then his eyes widened and he let out a low chuckle and took another drink to cover his flushed face.

I loved his simple innocence so much.

I wondered if he would remain that way even after we were married. Not really the innocent part, obviously. But the simple, tender ways he spoke that were honest and genuine.

I hoped so.

He cleared his throat once more and handed me the thermos, eyeing the strawberries in the basket I carried.

"Do you want some?" I asked.

He looked down at his hands and wiped them down his chest, only managing to smear the dirt on himself a little more. I plucked one of the bigger berries out of the basket and held it up for him to bite. He looked from me to the fruit, his mouth hesitant for a moment before he leaned in slightly to take a bite. Juice dribbled down his chin as he bit down, forcing him to pull away to wipe his chin with his bicep.

He was a mess.

He was beautiful and smiling down at me.

Leaning in once more, this time past the berry in my hand, he hummed deep in his throat and kissed me at a leisured pace, keeping his body distanced from my own. I edged closer, wanting to feel him, dirt and sweat be damned. He drew away at my movement, licking his lips as he took a tentative step back.

"I am dirty, Kate. I need to wash up before I touch you," he murmured.

"I don't care about that, Nathan," I whispered, his groan rumbling through him as he looked down at me.

"I still have work to finish," he sighed when I stepped in and traced my finger along one of his suspenders.

"Okay," I pouted and took a step back, watching as he stood there, one hand lingering on my arm.

"Do you want to help? Perhaps we can make quick work of it," he suggested, glancing back at the boards.

"What can I do?" I asked, suddenly excited to help with anything.

He took my hand and drew me toward the workbench. I eyed the hammer with suspicion when he handed it to me. He laughed and took it back to demonstrate.

"It is not too difficult. Let me show you. Then you can remove the nails and I will replace the boards over there," he said.

I watched as he showed me how to pry the nails out of the boards.

"Why did you take the planks off just to put them back on again?" I asked, somehow managing to curl the nail in the fork of the hammer.

It was more difficult than he let on.

"These are not the originals," he explained as he looked on in amusement. "These are reclaimed from another barn. My boards had termites. I still have many to replace. You could put a hammer through much of that wall there without much effort."

He gestured to the wall he was working on. It seemed sturdy to me, but I was sure he knew best. He chuckled at my slow progress and kissed my cheek before picking up a few of the finished boards and another hammer. I watched as he ducked out of a small door near the back of his workshop area and watched his shadow as it made its way to the gaping hole in the wall.

He pulled some long nails from the apron at his waist, placing them into his mouth with care while he lined up the first board. It was raining now and his cream shirt grew damp as he worked. The sound of the hammer striking the nail into the wood resonated in the barn, much like the thunder as it rumbled overhead. Nathan glanced up at the sky, grabbing another board and hammering with more determination.

I could tell he was trying to work fast to beat the oncoming storm. I was sure having a hammer in his hands in the middle of a thunderstorm was not the best idea. As soon as the pile of wood ran low, I picked up what I could and handed it to him through the hole. His grin was awkward around the nails as he took the boards from my hands. In no time, only a small strip remained open, too small for anyone to slip through.

He ducked back into the room, flinging the hammer and apron onto the table as he moved with purpose toward me. He grabbed me up into his wet arms, hands slipping up to my neck as his lips descended to capture mine.

"Where are those strawberries?" he whispered against my lips, drawing me deeper into the barn.

I mumbled something and let my hand wave in the general direction of where I thought I had laid the basket down. I felt the wall against my back, Nathan's damp body close to mine while his lips moved along my jaw, nipping and sucking a trail to my earlobe.

"Grab the blanket and berries. You see this ladder?" he whispered, gesturing to the ladder I just then noticed was beside us. I nodded and he grinned.

"It is much less visible up there and more comfortable than perhaps the stalls. I will be up in a moment," he said and kissed me quickly before pulling away to disappear down back toward the stalls.

I grabbed the blanket and threw it over my shoulder, gripping the basket in one hand while trying to grip the wooden rungs of the ladder that led up to a loft. Trying to climb in a long skirt, with only one hand, was harder than it seemed. I felt hands beneath me, and looking down I found Nathan close behind me again. He had taken off his shirt, the undershirt slightly damp but clean. And it looked like he had rinsed off. He took the basket from my hand, allowing me to climb a little easier.

I managed to get to the loft and climbed up onto the hay-covered floor, pulled the blanket from my shoulder and opened it up, the size of it more than enough for Nathan and me to relax upon. I had just laid it out when I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me down into the soft makeshift bed. He laid the berries down by my head and leaned in close, allowing his nose to skim across my jaw.

"It will rain for some time yet," he whispered near my ear.

I sighed and let him slip his hands along my ribs, his eyes merry as my hands drifted across his chest. My fingers slipped up along his suspenders, pulling them off his shoulders easily. He moaned against my neck and gripped me a little harder around the waist, tugging me to him.

"I love the feel of you against me, Kate," he sighed and rolled us over, his hand slipping down to work my skirt up until it was bunched up along my thigh. We lay like that, kissing and exploring with our hands until Nathan's breath became a little heavier, his mouth a little needier. After a moment his hand gripped my hip and pressed his body tight to mine.

"Kate," he whimpered and closed his eyes to the feel of us so close to one another.

His mouth open, breathing in long tortured breaths, he moved against me. His fingers slid up my back until they twined into the hair at the base of my neck.

"You have no idea what you do to me, Kate," he murmured against my temple.

"I think I have some idea," I said, smiling while I took in the flush along his chest and throat.

"It is so much more than that," he replied. "Although that is always amazing."

His smile was bright as he looked up at me, letting his fingers trace along my collarbone and the neckline of my dress.

"I cannot wait for you to be my wife, Kate. So much, I want to feel you against me every night, and wake up to you every morning," he whispered and pulled me in for another kiss that left me breathless.

The sound of the thunder continued to echo around us while the air was laden with the fresh scent of rain. Nathan's soft whispered words were only interrupted when he would snatch a strawberry and feed it to me before popping another into his mouth with a joyous laugh that sounded throughout the loft.

That sound was the best part of the rainy afternoon in the loft with Nathan. I would never get enough of Nathan Fisher.

November needed to come.

Soon.

~~~~~

I rubbed at my eyes in the dim light. Looking down at the fabric, I sighed and set it aside, knowing I wasn't going to accomplish much more on the dress tonight. My mind wasn't on seams and hems and gathering of fabric.

It was on Nathan.

He had missed supper so that he could help Benjamin. Fannie and I both had been disappointed that they had not come. But with the continued rain and the need to move Benjamin's belongings out of his rented room, there was little to be done for it. I sat on the bench seat by the window, looking out as the occasional lightning flash lit up his hill and I wondered what they were doing.

It had been two weeks since Benjamin agreed to stay with Nathan. It had taken him almost that long to finally switch back into his Amish clothes for good. With each night spent at supper with the Bergers, we saw a little more of Benjamin open up to our way of life.

Nathan smiled more, Benjamin helped more, and everything seemed to be going well.

On nights like this, when the rain forced us to retreat into the house instead of on our walks, Benjamin sat with us and reviewed what we were learning in our classes. Alone, my mind drifted to other things.

Like the soft words Nathan would murmur against my ear whenever we were alone. Or his voice when he recited some of his poems from my journal. I pulled out my journal and smiled at the page I turned to. Every word from Nathan's mind was something to savor.

Simple joy

In seeing your smile

Delighted breath

In catching your scent on the breeze.

Contented sigh

Having you in my arms.

Mirthful

That I have you.

My Angel.

My Kate.

I smiled and turned the page, my eyes tearing up at the desperation of the next passage.

Lost.

My heart.

My soul.

Gone.

Everything I have.

I will risk.

To find you.

My heart.

My soul.

My everything.

My Kate.

The magnitude of his affection was limitless. How had he been able to write while I was away? I didn't know, but I cherished every word. It solidified his dedication to me. How did I show him my dedication?

I smiled and thought on every time he smiled and laughed now, having changed so much since my arrival. Even through the worst of our time together, he had been able to commit to us. And I had been able to make him smile again and again.

Perhaps I did show him how much I cared.

In everything I did, I proved my love for him. As we continued to progress through time slowly, I dug into my studies, wanting so much to see him smile every day. It didn’t always mean I understood my lessons. Sometimes, the Amish ways baffled me just as much as they reassured me. There was many a night that I sat with Nathan and Benjamin and tried to be patient while they explained things to me.

"It is something of a quiet understanding, Katherine," Benjamin said, offering a consoling smile my frowning face.

"It's just," I said, sighing in exasperation at the latest baptism class. "If you are supposed to practice what the Bishop and the Elders say is the law, but the Bible says something else, isn't that going against God?"

Nathan and Benjamin both sat, silent, and thought hard on my question.

Our class that evening had been about following the Ordnung and the Elder's orders. But some of what they discussed tonight went against what I thought the Bible stated. It was confusing when they told us one thing but the Book said another. And I wasn't about to vocally question the Bishop, although I could tell as he watched me every class, he expected me to say something.

To be willful.

But I had been the exact opposite. I had been quiet and reserved, modest even, at least when we were in public. But the double standards of their teachings‚ and seeing it in how the Bishop acted, was frustrating. He didn't practice what he preached at all.

"It is complicated, Kate," Nathan started, looking at Benjamin for help.

I sighed and knew I wouldn't get much out of them for this section of the classes.

Just nod and agree, Kate. You'll figure it out.

So I did. I nodded and smiled as if I understood their complicated ways. After all, did I understand or accept everything I had been taught in my old life? There were some battles you just did not fight.

Nathan offered a timid smile and leaned back in his chair to stretch. We had been discussing everything we had learned for some time now. Benjamin watched me while I cleared away the glasses and came back to sit, pulling out my Bible. We were quiet for a time, Nathan and Benjamin both watching me. When I couldn't take the scrutiny any longer, I lifted my eyes from the Ephesians passage to regard Nathan expectantly. He chuckled and tugged on his ear.