Renewing Hope (In Your World #2) (11 page)

"It is not bad, Kate for your first try. I do not know how you handled Magnus. He is particular about who handles him," he said, eyeing me in curiosity.

I waved him off and pretended I had it under control.

"That silly horse? Putty in my hands," I scoffed.

"Really?" he asked, unconvinced. "I think you bribed him, perhaps."

I shook my head and laughed.

"How do you bribe a horse? He was even helpful and showed me where the oats were," I continued and picked up the shovel to continue my work. Nathan gently took it from my hands and smiled as he swapped the shovel for a pitchfork leaned against the outer stall.

"I will have to show you the daily business out here, I suppose. Feeding and care, and maybe I can convince Jonah to allow me to have a cow back," he said and illustrated how to properly muck out the stall.

I stood there and watched him for a moment, trying hard to listen to him as he detailed the daily morning duties, but it was difficult when his back turned and stretched and his arms flexed as he tossed manure into the wheelbarrow.

Horses fed and watered.

Stretch, push, flex and flick.

Hay bale moved from somewhere and something or other.

Stretch, muscle ripple along the forearm. Lift and toss.

Clean the stalls, something about every other day…

Scrape, bend and watch the suspenders tighten as he leaned, pulling the waistline of his trousers up, accentuating his backside against the tight fabric.

"Kate?"

I jerked my eyes up and could feel the heat on my face. It didn't matter how close we were. I was still caught ogling.

"Do I need to show you again?" he asked, his voice deep and his playful grin telling me he knew exactly what I had been doing.

"Um," I said, trying to rein in my feelings of just wanting to explore the hay with him again.

He stepped closer to me, the heat radiating off of him as he leaned in. His lips brushed across mine, feather light. I let out a sigh and leaned in, wanting more. But he pulled away and licked at his lips.

"I do not want to be found out again in the barn, not without a blanket," he mused and kissed me quickly before stepping back to return to scraping the last of the stall, the smile remaining on his lips.

"I will show you where we put the used straw. I use it for compost," he said, back in teaching mode.

I nodded and walked with him as he pushed the wheelbarrow through the back door and to an area that was obviously used for disposing of the horse waste. A pile of hay, slowly decomposing, sat there a good distance from the barn. He dumped the wheelbarrow and mixed it a little with the other hay already there, blending it in.

We returned to the barn and I worked in the mare's stall while Nathan worked in her partner's. I cried out when he threw a clump of hay at me, contemplating throwing a good dry piece of horse manure. In no time we had the stalls cleared out.

I had even tried my hand at pushing the wheelbarrow.

Some things I just wasn't good at. Nathan caught it before it toppled over and laughed. I'd be sure and strong enough, one day. We ate our lunch out on the porch, catching sight of Fannie once more on the hill, offering a wave and then disappearing once more. Nathan looked out after her in amusement.

"She must trust us, if she is only now coming to check on us," he commented as he chewed on his sandwich.

"She did the same thing while you were sleeping. While I was at the wash," I replied.

He nodded and was silent for a while, eating his sandwich in quiet contemplation.

"I am sorry I left you to do all the chores," he said finally.

"You didn't leave them to me, Nathan. I wanted to do them. I need to learn," I replied.

He sighed and looked down at his hands.

"It was just more to deal with than I thought. Seeing Jason's room again," he murmured.

"I know," I whispered and touched his hand, clasping it in mine.

"I know I need to let it go and move on. It is just difficult to do so," he explained, refusing to look up.

I touched his chin, drawing his eyes up to mine.

"How about this, Nathan? We will open one room once a week," I suggested. "It is not about letting go, it is about allowing it to emerge into something else."

He sighed and thought about it for a second.

"One room every week?" he asked. I nodded.

He looked at the house, as if seeing it in a new way.

"That sounds like a good idea," he murmured and leaned in to kiss me.

"We'll deal with it together, okay?" I offered. "And we'll convince Benjamin to come back. Things will be better, you'll see."

He pulled me close and rocked us gently in the swing, letting the early afternoon breeze cool us as we relaxed before returning to our daily chores. It was a nice bit of quiet for just the two of us.

Nathan showed me the seed stores they owned, his mother having collected many good seeds for her garden, many of which we would hopefully be planting in the spring. We picked out some beet seeds, finding a space in the garden to start them with the hope that they would grow in time before the first frost.

Every thing seemed to be determined by the first frost.

Nathan left me so that he could check on his crops in the fields, young growing pumpkins and winter squash. I watched him now and again as I sat up to stretch from digging and filling holes. He walked with care through the field, squatting every once and a while to touch at the plants growing there. He seemed at peace there amongst the dirt and the green.

This was his life.

I continued on with the planting, watering as I went, relieved at the cloud cover as it started to shade the sun from my neck. For September, it was hot. September back home had been rainy and cold. But that was most of the time. These clouds were darker than I had seen though upon coming here, and as I stood to stretch, I felt the first fat water drops as they hit my face.

I wiped at my hands and rushed to the clothesline, grabbing at the clothes in haste and tossing them into the basket unfolded. The storm seemed to rush in, the darkness a little unnerving as I grabbed the last of the sheets and hauled the basket into my arms to rush inside. As I stepped onto the porch I saw Nathan in the pasture, herding the horses back into the barn. I dropped the basket and ran out to help him just as the heavens opened up and the thunder boomed overhead.

He had Magnus beside him as he guided him in, the horse stamping angrily as they stepped into the barn. The other two horses came trotting after. I helped to get them back into the stalls, offering them more oats in one of their basins. As soon as they were settled, Nathan shut the stalls and wiped his face, the rainwater dripping from him.

"Ready to make a run for the house?" he asked as we both looked outside at the sheets of water falling.

My answer was drowned out by the loud crack of thunder, but his hand grabbing at mine propelled me into motion. We dashed across the yard, mud and water kicking up as we ran. Jumping up onto the porch, we stood under the overhang, watching as the rain continued to come down in sheets. Nathan helped me with the basket of clothes and set it down on the kitchen table when another rumble of thunder sounded through the house.

"The window upstairs!" I cried out, realizing I had forgotten it was open to air out the room.

I rushed up stairs, shutting the window quickly before any more water seeped in.

Looking around, I shook my head at the mess. The water was not as bad as the mud I had tracked up the stairs with my soiled shoes. I took them off with a rough tug and was about to look for something to wipe it up with when I saw Nathan in the doorway, holding a towel.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to track mud into the house," I said, getting on my hands and knees to wipe up the mess.

"It is all right, Kate. That is why we have wood floors. They are easier to clean. Come. I will finish that. You should dry yourself," he said and took a measured step inside the room.

He looked around the space, clearly uncomfortable, before taking another step in and squatting before me. His hand reached out slowly, taking the towel in my hands.

"Go and get dry. You will catch cold," he whispered, and the look in his eyes made me realize he was concerned about me. Of course he was thinking about his family and their sickness.

I could see it in his eyes.

I nodded and stepped out, grabbing my soiled shoes and finding the clothesbasket back in the kitchen. I searched through it and found a towel to dry off with, taking off my cover and letting my hair down to dry it. I heard Nathan come down the stairs and as I turned I blinked at him, bare-chested and walking toward me.

"You need to dry off, Kate. You are soaked," he said, taking the towel from my hands and wiping down my arms and neck.

I stood there dumbly.

I was wet, not particularly cold in the moment while he touched me. He seemed to realize the effect he had on me and paused, looking at the towel in his hands. His eyes drifted up the length of me, my breath coming faster as I watched his eyes darken under his wet hair that had fallen down onto his forehead.

"Your dress is soaked through," he said, his voice husky.

"I'm just wet. I can just take the dress off and let it dry," I replied, trying to ease his concern.

"You do not have a change of clothes here," he said, his eyes widening some.

"You've seen me in less than my shift Nathan," I replied and started undoing the hooks. His hand stopped me.

"I don't have the strength today to keep my distance, Kate," he whispered. "I have been struggling all day to behave."

"Oh," I said, not realizing he had been in such dire straits with me. I knew it had been an emotional day, but I didn't know I had been part of the cause.

"I'll wrap up in the quilt, okay?" I said, starting to feel the chill as the cold settled in.

He nodded and pulled the quilt out of the basket holding it up for me as I undid the hooks on my dress. His eyes never left me though. I paused and smirked at him.

"Nathan, if you are struggling, then why are you staring at me while I strip?" I teased.

He blushed and closed his eyes, cracking one open before I swatted at him. He bit at his lip and closed his eyes again, letting me pull off my dress so that I stood in only my shift. It was damp as well, but I didn't want to suggest taking that off too. I reached for the quilt and wrapped it around me, covering me better than any toga at a frat party would.

Nathan opened his eyes again and smiled.

"Much better," he said and grabbed a dry shirt to put on. I watched in dismay as he dressed, rather liking him standing there half naked before me.

It seemed both of us had issues with behaving.

We stood there in the darkening kitchen while we waited for the rain to let up. As the minutes passed, the storm seemed to worsen, the sound of pelting raindrops slapping loudly against the porch roof. Looking out, we noticed the hail. I wondered idly if this was God’s way of warning me to be good when Nathan took my hand and pulled me close, the two of us standing in the doorway as we watched the yard in the back of the house turn a muddy grey. Perhaps God was giving us a little time alone in a place that wouldn't normally allow it.

I liked that idea better.

Nathan held me a little closer, dipping his head down to kiss the top of my head before looking out again at the storm. His fingertips drifted across the bare skin of my shoulder, making the skin prickle there.

"Are you cold?" he asked, tracing the skin and watching it pebble under his touch.

I shook my head and glanced up at him, his eyes dark once more.

"Why are you shivering then?" he asked.

I let out a slow breath and turned away from the torrent outside.

"You know why,” I breathed and leaned into him, enjoying his warmth.

"Jonah and Fannie will worry over you. They may come, even in this rain," he said, his hand slipping down and around the back of my shoulder, stroking.

"So stop touching me then, if you're afraid," I whispered and stood on tiptoes to kiss him.

He groaned and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me back into the kitchen, the storm and everyone in the world falling away. I felt one arm wrap around me high, the other low, and I had just enough time to brace for it before he picked me up and carried me up the stairs. I cried out in surprise when he tossed me on his small bed, following after.

His mouth covered mine with an urgency he rarely allowed, his hands twining into my hair while mine traveled down the length of his back. He groaned and pressed me into the small bed, partially covering me with his hard body while we explored one another in the darkening room. Lightning flashed outside, thunder rolled, and the rain kept hammering down, as if this was the first day of forty of the great flood.

He broke away from our kiss with a panting groan, and let his eyes wander to where the quilt had fallen loose, exposing my dampened shift underneath. Looking down I could see the shift was almost see-through. He slid his long body beside me so that his head rested against my breast. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pressed himself to me, letting out a contented breath.

"Perhaps we can just stay like this for a time? As much as I want to finish what we started the other day, I think I like just laying here like this with you," he murmured, his breath hot against my skin.

I let one hand play in his hair while the other stroked his arm around my waist. As much as I wanted to go further, it was nice knowing that Nathan could enjoy simply being together. Not needing to do anything more than lay in one another's company, even if our bodies asked for it.

Temptation could be kept at bay.

We lay like that until the rain slowed, the thunder growing more distant, the two of us quiet in our thoughts. Occasionally Nathan would squeeze me a little closer, or speak softly about something he wanted to show me in the spring. Or about what he wanted to plant in the next year. Or I would mention something about what I wanted to grow in the garden.

It was a quiet bit of time where we could share our hopes for the future.