Remember Me (Weaver Series) (9 page)

It almost seemed like each kiss pulled me under, like the current of the ocean
.  I couldn’t be more willing to drown.  His hands were gentle as he cradled the sides of my face.  My skin felt hot beneath the coolness of his palms.  How desperately I wanted more.  His lips made their way to my neck and I felt a new rush of heat surge through my flesh.  A soft moan escaped my lips and I leaned against the tree to keep from falling.  Each kiss felt like bolts of lightning zapping my bloodstream.  I was willing to surrender anything in that moment. 

He kissed me back with a passion that matched my o
wn and I let go of any doubts that I had for coming to California in that moment.  His flesh was real.  His kiss was real.  There was no denying what we both wanted to happen next.  I tugged at his shirt buttons and jerked his shirt over his beautiful shoulders.

At the same time
, he unfastened the button on my jeans and traced his fingers along the lower part of my abdomen.  I thought I might pass out from the heat that engulfed my body.  I finally had my Kalan.  He was in my arms and as warm and real as life itself.  I’d never done what I was about to do, but I’d never been more ready.  I was sure that if we prolonged this any longer I would go insane from the desire I felt.  His warm hands continued to stroke my sides ever so gently as he planted little kisses on my neck.  My knees threatened to buckle and then…he completely stopped.  I looked up into his vacant eyes and felt the heat escape from between us.  Then as if he heard something in the distance that terrified him, he jerked back.

“What’s wrong
?”  I pleaded, searching his face for answers.

“We don’
t have much time.” He said.  I bit my lip to keep from crying.  “I have been so foolish with this time, I should be explaining and instead I—“

“Don’t say that Kalan
.  I don’t want to think of any time spent with you as a waste, or foolish.” I spoke so low that I wasn’t sure he even heard me. 

“It’s not that our time together is a waste
” He shook his head slowly from side to side.  “It’s that I don’t know when we’ll have this again.” He stressed this with such sorrow in his voice.  A part of me wanted to scream because I was so frustrated.  I just wanted to open my mouth and scream and scream until I had no voice left at all.  Not that this would do any good of course, but I didn’t know what to do.  Nothing made any sense. 

The other part of me
wanted to implore him to return and continue where we left off.  Damn the consequences, whatever they were and just let us have what time we could together.  From the look on his face, I knew that wasn’t an option.

Regaining his composure, h
e sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.  The white-blonde mixed with the darker shades underneath and I was distracted by a familiar thought.  Like déjà vu…or was it presque vu ?  Kalan stepped away from me and put his hands on his forehead.  I watched his body sway and he staggered to reclaim his balance.  I couldn’t get to him fast enough.  As I started toward him, he collapsed on the damp ground in front of me.  I screamed his name and watched helplessly as his eyes rolled back in his head and his solid presence began to transition to something murky.

I sat in the wet leaves
trying to pull his limp body to my lap, but my hands grasped the wet dirt beneath him. 

“Kalan, can you hear me
?”  I tucked my loose hair behind my ears.  Crying, I bent over to kiss his lips. 
Please God, don’t let me lose him again
I prayed.  If I could just get him somewhere warm and dry.  Something was terribly wrong.  I could feel it deep in my soul.  The thought of anything happening to him made me feel helpless and terrified. 

“
Please remember me,” he uttered before closing his eyes.  Desperate, I closed my eyes and thought of my apartment, focusing on the small details.  If I could just get us back under the blanket, maybe I could save him.  The red digital display of my clock came into focus and I realized with shock that I was in my bed, and Kalan was no longer with me.  I threw the covers back and sat up to gulp in air.  My mind was racing.  What had just happened?  Where was he?  I scrambled from the bed and shouted his name as I ran down the hall, but the kitchen was empty…I was alone.  I felt a sense of loss that threatened to crumple me.  I had to find him.  Nothing had ever meant more to me.  I wiped away the silent tears that spilled down my face.  “I will find you,” I whispered hoping he could hear me.

The next three days were a blur
.  I had not heard from Kalan and while thoughts of him consumed me, I wandered through the hours with little purpose.  I called my Momma Thursday night and listened as she went on and on about my sister’s social life.  Her new boyfriend, her lead in the upcoming play, perfect prom dress (a shade of blue that matched her eyes positively perfect), and how much she was going to be involved in the spring session of cheerleader camp.  Blah, blah, blah – my Momma yabbered on and on without so much as a pause to let me interject about my own life.  I loved my little sister and the truth was, I had done a lot of arranging for her.  Bailey was a shy little thing when she first started school but with a little sisterly assistance she managed quite well.  Since Momma always wanted to be that outgoing, cheerleader type when she was young there was no stopping the ‘living vicariously through your child’ phenomena that took over in our house; a fact that got on my nerves more than a little at times.

It was a relief not to have to go
into details about my own life, but at the same time, it was frustrating not to be asked.

“Momma
?  I asked just before we hung up, how’s Mamaw?”  The pause was so long I thought she’d already hung up. 

“
She’s fine baby.  She’s not exactly living in reality with the rest of us, but she’s happy and that’s all we can ask for.” There was an undercurrent of annoyance in her voice.  It was subtle, but it let me know how much of a strain this was on her. Momma didn’t do well with situations that required her to devote too much of her attention in any direction she didn’t favor.  Not that she was ever vocal about her displeasures, but I knew very well how she felt.

I made a mental note to email my sister to congratulate her and promised to ca
ll again in a week to check in.  I went to the living room window and looked out at the pool.  The courtyard was empty and the sky was tinged with pink.  The day was nearly over and I had done absolutely nothing.  I hadn’t eaten, I hadn’t even gotten out of my pajamas.  I leaned my forehead against the window and sighed.  I needed to get out of this apartment.  For three days I had done nothing but wait for Kalan to return or to at least talk to me.  The silence was too much.  If he wasn’t going to come to me, I had to find a way to go to him.

I shut the curtain, stomped
into my bedroom, and began to weave.  I needed to look good.  Better than good.  I needed to turn heads.  I imagined a white skirt, boots and a pink shirt with a plunge that displayed more than my usual attire ever would.  It wasn’t enough.  My loose ponytail made me look more like a wannabe than anything.  I tugged my ponytail with a concentrated focus, and pushed time, letting my hair grow beyond my existing shoulder length.  I stopped when it reached the middle of my back.  Leering at my own reflection, I realized it still wasn’t quite right.  I needed to look like I
belonged
in L.A.  I shut my eyes, and shook my head. When I opened them, my reflection made me smile.  My naturally dark blond hair was now streaked with platinum and my skin was just a little more tan.  Better.  I grabbed my purse and sat on the edge of my bed. 

Since Kess was the only connection I had, I focused on him
.  The next thing I knew I was sitting in the guest chair in his office.  He shuffled some papers but he didn’t look up when he said, “Couldn’t wait until our lesson tomorrow because you missed me too much?”

“You could say that.”
I mumbled, feeling unsure of my idea. 

“Well, I knew that you would, but I honestly thought it would happen sooner.”

Lela pushed back in her chair by pressing her bare feet against the desk and laughed.  Until that moment, I had not even realized she was in the room.  “It’s a good thing she didn’t do it sooner, she might have been embarrassed,” she said as she slipped on her strappy red heels.  I watched as she stood up and sauntered to the door.  Before she opened it, she turned and added, “Railey said to tell you she wants to see you immediately.”

“I know.” he
waived his hand at her in a dismissive way and she slammed the door as she left without so much as a glance in my direction.  I looked down at my tan legs and tried not to squirm.  It was clear that I had nearly interrupted a private moment.  Here I was unannounced, dressed like I was on the prowl and clearly stepping on the toes of another girl. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, you look amazing and she doesn’t hold a candle to your flame.” I stood up and tried to tug my skirt down
.  “I shouldn’t have come here.” I said in a low voice. 

“Of course you should have
.  Besides, you didn’t interrupt anything.  Lela was just trying to make you nervous.” He walked over to a small refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of beer. 

“She doesn’t like me
does she?” 

“Who cares what she likes
.  Wanna beer?”

“No thanks
.  I-I uhm…”

“Ah yes, sweet tea right
?”  A glass appeared before me.

“Thanks.”
My throat felt dry and hot so I eagerly gulped the tea as he took a long swig of beer and watched me. 

“So since you are here, follow me while I do a sound check
.  Then we’ll get something to eat.” He guided me down to meet his assistant, a guy named Mike who had dreadlocks longer than my hair and an accent that I couldn’t quite make out.  I listened while they discussed their business.  None of it sounded very interesting so I wandered over to the edge of the stairs where I could look down at the tables below.  The club was quiet except for a few servers talking and the bartender who clanked a large box of bottles on to the counter and shouted at a couple of the girls to quit chatting and finish their prep work.  Then from the left side of the room I watched as a black haired girl walked in, red heels clicking across the dance floor.  Something about her seemed familiar.  She stopped, turned, and every so slowly looked directly up at me. I swear her green eyes seemed to shimmer as she smiled at me.  Something frighteningly familiar tugged at my gut. 

Kessler came up from behind me and put his arms around my mid section
, just as I was backing up.  “I’ll be down in a minute.” He called to the girl below.  She pushed her hip out sideways and crossed her arms over her chest. 

“You’ll be down here now.
”  She said in an icy tone.  Kess laughed and turned me around to face him. 

C’mon, let me introduce you to my lovely sister.
”  He tugged my hand as he guided me down the stairs and across the floor toward her.  The closer we got the more familiar she seemed. 

“Joey, this is my big sister Railey
,” he said.

“It’s nice to meet you
,” I said and extended my hand.

She didn’t take it
.  Instead, she looked down at it, crinkling her nose with disgust before she turned her full attention back to Kess. 

“I need to speak with you
.”  Green eyes briefly glared at me.  “Privately.” I wondered if this situation could get any more awkward.  At this point, I lowered my hand, (which I still had extended like an idiot) and tried to excuse myself.  There was no place to go but to sit at an empty table.

“I’ll just wait over there
,” I mumbled and pointed to the nearest booth.  Kessler’s sister was not at all interested in meeting me -- and after her icy display, well let’s just say that I was fine with that.  Besides, she gave me a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Something about her eyes seemed so familiar.  I couldn’t read anything, which bothered me even further.  I decided I didn’t like her.  Being completely honest, she was extremely pretty, despite her sour temperament.  Her blunt bangs made her look far more innocent than I gathered she actually was, and her black and white striped stockings were extremely cute.  She sort of reminded me of a Japanese cartoon character.  I sat in the booth and took a few deep breaths to regain my composure.  Since the room was dimly lit, I closed my eyes and tried to call out to Kalan. 
“Can you hear me?  Where are you?  Please talk to me Kalan.  I just need to know that you are alright!” 
My mental text message went unanswered.  I tried again, this time shouting out mentally.  Still nothing. 

“Do you want a drink or something
?”  I jumped in my seat.  The little red-headed waitress smiled at me and I shook my head. 

“No thanks
.  I’m just waiting for Kess.” I said trying not to appear as out of place as I felt. 

“I know
.  He might be a while.  Let me get you a drink.” She was gone before I could say anything else but when she reappeared with a glass of red wine, I tried to refuse. 

“I don’t
…uhm, really drink.  I’m not even twenty-one,” I said in a whisper, but she wasn’t taking no for an answer.