Remember Me (Weaver Series) (8 page)

“
Obviously.” I said reflectively.  “There’s one thing that I’m curious about.”  Seriously, to say I was curious about
one
thing was a colossal understatement, but where do you start?

“What’s that?”

“Well, if we get strength from minerals in sand, how is it that I could weave just fine in Arkansas?  We don’t have any beaches there that I know about.”

“
It’s not that you wouldn’t’ be able to weave there, it is a matter of the intensity and the time it takes to rebuild your energy.  I told you, we get our strength from minerals.” He reached down under the table and picked up a handful, .letting it pour freely from his closed fist.  “Sand is made up of minerals, rock -- quartz mostly.  “Beyond that, sand has a great significance with us weavers, but I’ll explain that another day.”  I thought I saw something flash briefly in his eyes.  Was it regret? He brushed his hands together.  Whatever it was, it passed just as quickly behind a smile.  I decided that I misread him.  Besides, Kalan said to learn from him so I let it go and refocused on that task. 

“So the sand is like
an energy source or something right?”  I was wondering what energy source I had near me back home as I asked.

“
I am sure that in time you will discover your energy source back there in Mayberry.”

“Excuse me
?  I scoffed, oh no, tell me you did not just refer to my hometown as Mayberry.”

“I’m sorry Joey
.  It’s just that you should know more than you do.  I think it is cute as hell, but how you have survived is beyond me.” He shook his head and looked at me with what appeared to be pity.  “Well, at least you are here now.  So tell me Joey, when did you first realize you could weave?”  He asked and propped his elbows on the table and stared at me.

“I—I guess it was…”
I hesitated.

“It’s not a trick question Joey.”

“I know, it’s just not a question that I have ever had to answer.” I was stalling.  After Kalan’s last warning, I didn’t know what I should or should not say.  It was extremely difficult to try to answer a question while simultaneously shouting for someone across the span of my brain.  It was no use.  My guardian brain angel was nowhere to be found.  “I guess as long as I can remember.” I lied. 

“You mean you don’t have a memory of your first weave?”

“Nope.” I said and pulled the top of my drink so that I could shake the ice into my mouth.  I was simultaneously hiding under my mental blanket and hoping it was working.

Kess cocked his head to the side and smiled
.  His coffee colored eyes seemed to size me up.  “That’s interesting.”

“What’s your first memory
?”  I asked trying to shift the focus off of myself.  Fortunately, Kess was more than willing to share about himself and spent the next hour telling me about his family and the long line of weavers that he descended from.  Apparently, weavers were considered guardians for mortal life and I had been squandering my abilities.  We spent the rest of the day wandering down the beach and in and out of the shops along the peer.  His lectures continued along the way.

I found that I was more that eager to learn what I could about my abilities and even managed to impress Kess a time or two with my weaves. 
As the sun began to set we found a bench that looked out at the water where we could sit and rest.  My arms were loaded with bags from my purchases and it felt good to set them down.  I stretched my arms over my head and yawned.  It had been a long day.

“So you are telling me that there are dark and light weavers
?”  I asked.

“
Uh-huh.  Every weaver is charged with guarding the dark or the light. Or the good versus the bad.  Some, however, are capable of both.” He whispered the latter comment. 

“So how do you know which one you are?”

“You mean you don’t know?  He laughed.  “That’s not surprising since you apparently know very little about your lineage.  I think it is pretty obvious that your threads are light.” He added and stood to stretch his back.

“Does that mean that I am weak
er because I’m a Light Weaver?”

“No, of course not.”

I bit the skin on the side of my thumbnail.  “Oh, okay good.  So Kess, what are you?”

His smile made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up
.  If it were not for Kalan’s words, I would never have trusted this guy in the first place. 

“Now that really hurts Joey
.  After all the time we have spent together you don’t know?”

“Light
?”  I offered.

“Right.”
He replied and winked. 

“Oh good, for a minute there I thought that I was hanging out with
one of the devil’s minions.” I wiggled my fingers at him for dramatic emphasis.  In truth, I wasn’t completely convinced that I was with a saint either, but I saw him as more of a womanizer than an evil seed.

“No
.  That’s not me.  Though, I have been called worse” he said with a laugh. 

The wind was picking up again and with the sun quickly setting, the temperature seemed to drop dramatically
.  I felt cold and exhausted.  Despite the enjoyable drive, I decided it was better to use my own way to get home.  I thanked Kessler for the lessons and we arranged to meet on the pier at the same bench on Friday.  That gave me a little time to rest and get settled in. 

I was grateful to be back in my apartment, even if it wasn’t quite home to me
.  Every bone in my body ached and my head was pounding.  I made a hot cup of chai tea and curled up on my bed, pulling the covers up around me while I watched television.  My toes still felt sandy, but I was too tired to care.  I set my cup on the nightstand, turned off the lamp and television and sank into my pillows.  The darkness engulfed me and I fell into restless dreams.

My Papaw and I were holding hands and walking through the rows of a
blooming cotton field.  I in one row, he in the next.  It was so quiet and he began to tell me something about a gift.  I tried to understand but nothing he said made any sense.  Something about a mineshaft, and a girl named Genessa.  The field was green and the sun was shining brightly, warming my back.  In the next moment the bolls were nearly empty.  Each plant was dry, russet colored and void of their fluffy white treasures.  The withered stems scratched my bare legs as I ran.  The sky was dreary and bruised with rain clouds.  I screamed for my Papaw.  A dull sense of loss filled me with dread.  Before I could scream again, I heard my Mamaw call my name.  I twirled around to see her in the distance near the tree line by the bayou.  Her hair was pulled up in her usual bun and even from a distance I could make out her familiar blue cornflower apron.  She was motioning for me to hurry.  All at once I knew something was behind me.  Chasing me.  I didn’t dare turn around, but as hard as I ran, my legs would not move fast enough and I never got any closer to her.

The scene shift
ed and I was on a Ferris wheel.  Deranged carnival music filled the air and the chair rocked.  I was way too high! The chair continued to climb despite my screams.  As I continued to beg for help, I could hear the faint laughter of a girl.  Frantically I looked below and saw a dark figure with green eyes glaring up at me.  “My blanket!”  I screamed and shoved the covers off of my head. 

I sat up in bed, sweat running down my neck
.  The red digital numbers on my alarm clock read 4:30.  I took several deep breaths to calm myself before climbing out of bed to go get a drink of milk from the kitchen.  This was a habit I’d had since childhood.  My Momma would get me a little cup of milk if I had bad dreams and it stayed with me as I got older.  I flicked on the light hoping that the sterility of fluorescent lighting would somehow chase away the surreal feelings.

“
I am so sorry Joey,
” came the familiar voice.  I had to brace myself against the counter. 

“Why are you doing this to me
?”  I voiced this to my empty weaver-baked kitchen, and felt the hot sting of tears.  His voice was firm and clearer than it had been since I had first heard it. 

“
I know that you are afraid, and I am so sorry for that.  I just need you to trust me
.” I thought I heard a quaver in his voice.  “
I am counting on you
.”

“Counting on me for what
?”  I pleaded.  My whole life was in an upheaval and I could feel the strands of doubt twining around me.  Maybe I was going crazy.  Maybe Kalan was a figment of my imagination.  After all, how many girls could rearrange their lives and those around them?  What if I was totally insane and only thought that I could change things.  Maybe I was a complete nut case that chased delusions; like that story I had done a book report for in English class about
The Yellow Wallpaper
.  The poor lady went completely buggy because her life was too much to handle, and she spent her last days trying to tear a ghost out of the funky wallpaper. 

I
opened the refrigerator and poured myself a small cup of milk. My hands quivered as I sipped it slowly and fought back the shudders that raked my body. Maybe I was a crazy lady.  Maybe I really was losing my grip on my sanity. Oh God, what if I never had my sanity at all? I finished my milk and sat down on the cool linoleum floor drawing my knees up.  The tears were flowing freely now.  Fetal position felt comforting.  The last thing I remembered was a voice in the distance that seemed to be humming softly.  I woke up freezing three hours later.  My whole body felt stiff and I was utterly shocked to see a form sitting with his back to my refrigerator staring down at me.

“Kalan
?”  I whispered hoarsely.  I immediately recognized him, but something was not right.  I could see him, but I could also see through him.  He wasn’t solid.  I crawled on my hands and knees toward him, not caring in the least that I was not dressed appropriately.  His smile made me feel at home, even if I could see the banana magnet through the top of his head.  A quick shift of my knees brought me face to face with him and I reached to stroke the air where his cheek would be. 

“Joey, we do not have a lot of time.”
The voice was in my head and it was a crushing blow to be so close and yet so far from him at the same time.  How I longed to feel his arms around me, to rest my head against his chest.  Yet when I tried, I felt only the cold refrigerator door. 

“
Shhh baby.  Don’t cry.” He soothed.  I rocked back and sat looking at his smoky presence.  A plethora of questions were swirling in my mind.  How could this be happening?  Salty tears reached my lips and I wiped my cheek with the back of my hand.  I felt a sick sense of loss, like the way I felt when I looked at pictures of my Papaw after he passed away -- comforted and miserable at the same time.  It was almost unbearable.  I stood and was surprised when he did too.  My legs felt shaky and I was vaguely aware of my chattering teeth.  I wrapped my arms around myself and shivered.

“Go back to your bed.” His lips did not move but I could hear him clearly
.  I nodded and wandered down the hall, glancing over my shoulder to make sure he was following me.  I crawled into my bed, and watched him do the same.  His face was so close to mine.  Despite the fact that I could see the night stand through him, I focused on his expression.  He seemed content and nonetheless, equally sad.  In a momentary lapse of perception, I attempted to reach out to him and found myself disappointed when I clutched the pillow.  “Oh my God Kalan, I need you.” I cried.  This just wasn’t fair.  Nothing made any sense to me anymore.  I wanted to appear less vulnerable, but it just wasn’t possible.  “I don’t think that I am strong enough for all of this.” I said, sounding more than a little defeated.

“Pull your blanket up.” He whispered
.  When I did, I felt a sudden rush.  It was as if I was falling through a dark hole.  One minute I was screaming and the next, I was standing in front of an oddly familiar Cypress tree.  The water of the bayou lapped softly against the muddy bank.  My pajama bottoms were wet and my feet were bare.  These observations were random and mingled with rapid awareness of my surroundings. 

I scrambled to weave, changing my clothing first because the fear of water moccasins was my first thought
.  Bare feet was not going to work for even one second longer.  The weight of a hand on my shoulder stopped me before I could do anything else.  I whirled around to see Kalan, and was washed in warmth the moment his eyes met mine.  “Oh good God, you scared me!”  I blurted.  My heart pounding like a wild animal caught in a trap. 

“
Shhh,” he raised one perfect finger to my lips.  Realizing he was no longer transparent, I reached up to touch his cheek and when he lowered his face to me I drank in the cedar scent that was unmistakably his.  Every nerve in my body was alive and resonating.  Slowly his lips brushed mine and I stood on the tips of my toes to accept his kiss.  My hands made their way to his waist so that I could pull him closer.  I couldn’t get close enough.  Nothing in my personality matched my actions, but I didn’t care.  We were meant for each other and being with him made me feel whole.

Everything I had done was in an effort to reach this moment
.  The earth could have fallen from space and it would not have mattered.  Kalan was my world.  To feel his lips against mine was enough to take away every bit of sorrow I had felt.  Those melancholy feelings that had absorbed me gave way to something visceral.