Remember Me (Weaver Series) (11 page)

“But Kess, you didn’t take advantage of anything” I stood and approached him, guilt settling
into my chest like a wrecking ball.  I’d dressed to make an impression…there was intent in that.  I reached out tentatively and ran my hand down the side of his cheek.  The instant my hand touched his skin I felt electricity sing through my body.  I could hear his thoughts, just for a brief moment before he locked me out.  It was enough.  He reached up and took my hand in his and then, he drew it to his lips and kissed my fingertips.  His lips were soft and gentle.  I closed my eyes and said nothing.  In truth, I didn’t know what to say.  I had heard more from him in that instant than he could have said in an evening filled with carefully planned words.  I just couldn’t sort through it all quickly enough.  Partly because of the lingering effects of the wine, but more because there was something raw and naked about that glimpse.  Someone had hurt Kess, and this wasn’t something he meant for me to know.

“You’ve had way too much to drink
.” He said in a breathy whisper.

“I’m not a child Kess
.” I moved my body so that I could reach him.  His dark hair covered his eyes, as if he were contemplating what to do next.  In my inebriated state, I’d hoped he would do what I wanted.  His hands were fisting at his sides.  As if he were fighting some internal decision.  I tried again to glimpse his thoughts, but the wall he had put up was too strong.  It was more like a steel vault.  I was caught up in the moment, and all I wanted was his kiss.  The truth was the wine was giving me boldness…but I could not deny that I was feeling an attraction toward Kess.  Something about his dark eyes called to me.  He turned those dark brown eyes to me now and licked his lips.  I could feel his hesitation.  It almost hurt. 

Like that
rejection you feel from a guy that tries to start a relationship and just when you think he’s mister perfect and you confess your undying love, you discover that he’s been too wounded by some other girl to ever trust again.  Not that I’ve ever been in that situation personally, but the little glimpse I got told me I was close to the truth.  Something was making him pull back.  What was it?  This was ridiculous.  Why was he hesitating?  Why was I throwing myself at him?  I’m not good at rejection, no matter how much liquid courage I have.  I was just about ready to give up and metaphysically send myself home but before I could complete the thought, he moved forward. There was no more hesitation.  I reached out to him and pulled him toward me and his arms circled around my waist.  His lips were soft and sweet.  I curled my fingers in his hair and opened my mouth to meet the depth of his kiss. 

My eyes were closed
, and for the briefest of seconds, my thoughts went to Kalan.  Then I felt something shift.  Something on that foggy, abstract level that usually happens when I weave.  Only I hadn’t initiated it.  I opened my eyes and looked right into…Kalan’s eyes.  The expression on my face must have been complete shock because he drew back from my lips and tilted his head with a smile.  “Did you think I wouldn’t look after you?” 

“Kalan
!”  I blurted and pulled him close to me so that I could feel his warm flesh and know that he was real.” He put his arms around me and drew me close. As I looked over his right shoulder, I realized that the surroundings had shifted.  To my surprise, I was no longer on the beach and Kess was not there.  I was sitting on my own bed, in my own room.  Kalan pulled me down gently and rested on one elbow so that he could look down into my face.

“Where have you been
?”  I whispered.  A part of me felt horribly guilty.  As if I had been caught cheating, (was I?) or something.  Still another part of me wanted to sock him for making me worry and for pulling me all the way to California when he was always just out of reach.  Instead of saying anything more, I looked up at him expectantly.  He traced my lips with his index finger absently and sighed.  “I wish that I could explain things to you Joey. I know that’s what you want. It’s just not that easy.”

“Try” I said dryly
.  Minutes stretched in the silence that followed and the agony in his expression jabbed at my heart.  I was on the verge of insisting that it didn’t matter when he finally spoke.

“
Okay. I am…a prisoner Joey.”

“What do you mean?
-- I don’t understand.”

“Something happened…something that changed everything in a way that I cannot undo
.  That’s why I called to you.  I need your help.” The look in his eyes seemed so desperate.

“What happened
?”  I sat up so that I could look at him closer.  My head was starting to hurt and I reached over to my nightstand for a bottle of water. I always kept one there in case I woke up thirsty in the middle of the night.  Kalan stood up and paced the floor as he talked.

“I underestimated someone.” He ran his hand through his sandy blonde hair and sighed.  “Someone that stood to gain a great deal by making sure I was out of the way.”

“Who
?”  I asked curiously.

He looked at me
hesitantly, and then lowered his head.  “It doesn’t matter.  What matters is that you understand what you are dealing with.  Kessler is dangerous and you need to learn what you can from him, but don’t let him take from you.”

“
I thought you said he was alright! I whined a little.  “Kalan, I don’t understand any of this.” I gulped from my water bottle before returning it to my nightstand.  The mystery was taking a toll on me.  Resigned, I let my head rest on my pillow with a deep sigh.  As if he knew I was giving up, he gave up his pacing and came back to lay down beside me on the bed.  Slowly he pulled the covers up over the both of us.

“
There is more to being a weaver than the ability to change things.”

“What more is there to know
?”  I asked faintly. “I thought I was improving my skills, and that maybe I was getting closer to fixing whatever it is that you are going through.”  I could feel the urge to cry rising up in my throat. 

“
There are procedures that you have to go through Joey.  Rules that apply, like physics -- and they cannot be bent.  Well, by most that is.”

“Most
?  Do you mean some weavers can bend rules and some can’t?”  Kalan nodded emphatically.

“
Kessler is a part of something bigger, but he is also a very skilled weaver.  As such, he is the only one that can teach you what you need to know now.”

“Why can’t you teach me instead
?”  I suggested. “I’d much rather learn from you, and maybe you could teach me faster.”  His distant expression told me he was thinking about something that was painful.  I caught a flash of imagery…him in that dry field, laying on his side talking to someone.  It began to make sense.  He had taught another weaver once before.  I couldn’t help feeling a pang of jealousy at the thought of this.  Especially when I compared it to the experience I had been having with Kess.  Okay, push that thought back for another time.

His jaw tightened. 
“I wish that I could, but for now, Kessler is the best man for that job.  He is closer to the source of our problem.  He’s also armed with knowledge of both dark and light strands.  Kalan brushed a stray strand of hair from my face and looked at me with a very serious expression.  “He’s the only one that would know how to resolve this.”

“To help you
?”  I asked.

“To help both of us.
”

“I just don’t understand how Kessler can help us.  For that matter, I really don’t understand why we can’t just ask him for help directly if he has that kind of power.”

Kalan sighed. “Once a weaver changes something, it is untouchable by another weaver, unless they possess either powerful dark tendencies, or they are a master weaver.  We can’t ask him directly because he wouldn’t do anything to go against his sister.” “At least not yet,” he added grimly. 

“
Tell me what you need me to do.” I said. 

“You need to get Kess to trust you
.  Which from the looks of things, you’ve already done.”

Embarrassed,
I looked away and mumbled, “I guess it was the wine.  I’m sorry.” I wanted to explain myself, but that was the best I could do.  In truth, I didn’t know what had come over me.  Kess seemed to have some magnetic pull and it called to me in a way that I couldn’t even explain to myself.  Just the same, nothing came close to the feelings I had for Kalan.  It was like he was my oxygen.  I was connected to him in a way that was indefinable and utterly necessary.  I could no more pull away from Kalan than I could my own self.

“
No! He put up a hand to stop me from saying anything further.  Don’t apologize Joey.  It’s not like you are the first girl Kess has lured in with his charms.”  He sounded bitter and it made me wonder what else I didn’t know.  It also made me feel like an idiot.  I pushed the blanket back and looked down at my tan legs, still sticking out of my stupid boots.  Had I acted like a skank?  Sloshing wine and throwing myself at Kess.  I bit my lip and stared at the clock on my nightstand.  It was a little past midnight.  Where had the night gone? 

“
It’s late and I’m overwhelming you aren’t I Joey?”  I shook my head.  “No, it’s okay. I’m truly sorry Kalan.  I just really hate when my judgment slips.  I was trying to find you.  That’s why I went to the club in the first place.”  I quickly unzipped my boots and yanked them off. Disgusted with myself, I weaved the boots away and myself into pajama pants and a t-shirt at the same time. “The next thing I knew I was drinking wine and acting like an idiot.” I looked down at my hands in my lap, too uncomfortable to meet his eyes.  Kalan reached down to tug my chin up. 

“I wish that I could undo so much Joey
.  Please just know that I am trying.” I looked up then.  His eyes were sincere and filled with unshed tears.  In that moment I knew with all my heart that I was inexplicably attached to him.  I could feel his pain as if it were my own.  Words between us seemed unnecessary as if…we had a soul connection that defied the outside world.  It did not matter to me that I really had only known him for a week (unless you count the dreams and remote mind conversations).  There was something that compelled me to him.  As if our souls were bound together with threads made from a lifetime of loving each other.  I reached up and wiped the solitary tear that slid down his pale cheek.  “Don’t.  ” I whispered, and pulled him into my arms.  I hated seeing so much pain in his eyes and knowing that I was a part of that.  Nothing made any sense, but as long as I had Kalan, I didn’t care.  The world could spin off and fly into the sea and I would be content to close my eyes and inhale my last breaths in his arms.

He sighed heavily and we stayed in each other’s arms for so long that I must have drifted off
.  His husky whisper startled me. 

“She’s
waking; I won’t be able to stay much longer.” 

“Who’s waking
?  I muttered and nuzzled my check against his chest.

“Railey.”
He said in a flat, dry tone.  I sat up abruptly.

“Kessler’s sister
?”  I asked in a detached way.  His eyes flashed with something that looked like anger.

W
ords were unnecessary. I understood what he did not want to say.  “She is the reason.  She’s behind all of this, isn’t she?”

Kalan sighed
.  “Every moment I am with you is just a mirage -- A projection that only seems to work if she’s distracted, or asleep. I think it’s something that we are doing together somehow.” I was trying to digest and understand what he had just said.

“
How is that possible?”  I asked incredulously.

“I’m not sure.  All I know is that it takes all of the energy I can manage to come.  I never know how long it will last, or if it will work again, and because of the consequences it is extremely dangerous.”  Consequences.  There was that awful word again.

“Well it seems like you are really here to me
.  I took his face between my hands, but his flesh feels unnaturally cool.  I refuse to acknowledge this.  “Why can’t we just run away?  We could leave right now and go back to Arkansas…”

He cut me off
.  “No Joey, it doesn’t work like that.”

“Well then tell me how it works
!”  I croaked, in desperation. 

“When you are a weaver there are many things that you learn by trial and error as you have already discovered on your own by now
.  For example, we can’t weave over another weaver’s treadling, or bring people back from the dead.” 

“But
…I can.”  I whispered.

“Exactly.
” A long silence followed.

“Are you trying to tell me that you
…are dead?” I searched his eyes for answers as shock rippled through my body turning my bones to ice.

“I am.”  He answered me in a resigned tone and I watched as tears slid silently down his beautiful face
.  “I didn’t know how to tell you.  I was afraid that I would scare you away.”  He turned his head away, “And loose you forever.” He added.

I
thought about the nightmare I had had.  The girl beneath the Ferris wheel. It was her.  Those green eyes seemed to pierce through me and I shivered at the thought.  “What has she done to you?”  I asked in a hushed tone as if she could hear us.  His eyes grew large as he looked through me rather than at me.