Release Me (The Music Within Book 2) (16 page)

 Cade
continued putting his boots on, but thought about what Mal said. He didn’t know
how the man felt, nor would he ever. Even though he didn’t feel as though he
had flaunted his money, he inadvertently had. “I’m sorry. I don’t want this to
be a problem for us. It’s going to be hard enough to try having a relationship
without things other than distance coming between us.”

Mal
uncrossed his arms from over his chest and ran his hands through his hair,
making it stand on end. “A relationship? Is that what you want? How can we have
a relationship, Cade? I’m not exactly out of the closet, and you’re goin’ to be
flyin’ off around the world. This won’t work.”

“When
I came here this weekend, I wanted to prove to myself that our night in the
hotel was just a fluke. That our chemistry was only there because we were two
lonely men scratching an itch. Hell, after one night with you I was ready to
sell my home on the West Coast and move out here. I was picking up the phone to
call a realtor to look at houses in Nashville when my manager called me about
the audition. I came really close to turning down the gig with DTD because I
couldn’t get you off my mind. But I owed it to myself to at least come see you
and figure out if it was just a one-time thing, or if what I feel is real. It’s
real, at least to me, and I would like to give it a try. But you’re right; it
won’t work if you don’t want it to.”

“But
you took the gig.”

“I
did. Music is my life, and I’m not ready to part ways with the one thing that
has always been unconditionally there for me since I was little. I know I told
you when I arrived yesterday that I wanted to be friends, and that much was
true. But after being around you again, I know now I could never settle for
being just friends, Mal. I could never be this close to you and not want to
touch you, to kiss you, to make love to you.”

At
those words, something flared in Mal’s eyes. Lust, longing, something… but he
didn’t move from his position at the door. Mal was keeping space between them.
“But you took the gig,” he repeated.

“I
didn’t have a reason not to.”
Give me a reason not to.

“Please
tell me how you think this would work. I know you aren’t goin’ on tour yet, but
startin’ next week, you’re gonna be busy with the band, and I’ll be busy with
the farm. You may be okay with attachin’ yourself to me for a few months and
then walkin’ away, but I can’t get attached to you for a few months only to
lose you. Before I met you, I knew I was gonna be alone the rest of my life,
and I was okay with it. Eventually, you’re gonna be on tour. You’ll be off
playin’ rock star and havin’ sex with whoever strikes your fancy while I’m
here, back to bein’ Malcolm Wilson, lonely cowboy. I can’t do it.”

“Who
says I’ll be off having sex with whoever strikes my fancy? If I had a reason to
be celibate, I could do it.” Cade surprised himself with those words. Could he
really be around groupies offering their bodies to him and decline their
offers? He’d never tried it. Never needed to. Even when he and Tag were
fucking, they would bring some lucky person from the show back to their room to
be in the middle for the night. God, was he seriously growing the fuck up at
thirty-four? First the investment and now giving up sex? What was next…
marriage? Kids?
Whoa, Rock Star, slow your roll.

“Okay,
let’s say we try this. I’m still stuck in this Podunk town where everyone is
ready to burn queers at the stake. That’s not gonna change.”

“So
fucking what? It’s not like I’m asking you to take me into town and profess
your undying love on the square. You’re going to build the farm up, back to
where it should have been all along. You’re going to be a successful
businessman. You’ll have the financial backing of the company. Should the
small-minded motherfuckers in this town even think about not doing business
with you, I’m sure the company’s hot shot attorney will be glad to step in and
file a lawsuit that the small-minded motherfuckers can’t afford. I’m also sure
the company has purchasers in place for whatever you need, so you won’t have to
step foot into those stores if you don’t want to.”

“And
what about the men I hire? If they see us together, they’ll surely spread the
word around that I’m not really into girls after all.”

“Let
the company hire the workers. They can vet the men, doing background checks and
making sure they’re not homophobic. You don’t have to hire some locals. I
wouldn’t think you would want to.”

“I
just thought when the lawyer said I could hire my own men, he intended on me
doin’ just that.”

“Companies
have whole departments in place for things such as hiring. It is their company
after all, but you should put it in your contract that you have final say so,
as well as the ability to fire “at will” if they don’t work to your
satisfaction.”

“You
sure do know a lot about this business stuff to be a drummer. No offense, but
how’d you get so smart about this stuff?”

“My
parents own a huge corporation. I grew up in and around it. I have relatives
who are attorneys, and my godfather owns a huge company, too. It’s in my blood.
Look, to me, it’s simple because I’m used to being out of the gay closet and
not giving a good flying fuck what anyone thinks of me. The world knows who
Cade Anderson is. I can’t say I understand where you’re coming from, because I
don’t know what it’s like to be around so much hatred. If you tell me you don’t
want to give this a try, we’ll shake hands and part ways here and now. No hard
feelings. I’ll take the memories with me and cherish them forever.”

Mal
chewed on his bottom lip, looking at the floor. Cade wouldn’t beg. He would do
exactly what he told Mal he would do. He would walk out the door and remember
the short time they had together. He would dive head first into his music and
forget about love.

“I’m
gonna go finish breakfast. Ma’s been holed up in her room long enough waitin’
for us to get through this. Then, you and me are gonna go to that Honda
dealership.”

Cade
took a step toward Mal but stopped. He wanted Mal to come to him. “Yeah?”

Mal
pushed off the doorframe and grabbed Cade behind the neck, pulling their
foreheads together. “Yeah,” he whispered before he angled his mouth over
Cade’s.

Mal

Mal
was twenty kinds of a fool for not letting Cade go, but the thought of him
walking away now had Mal ready to punch a hole in the wall. It was going to
take everything he had to guard his heart, but that was the only way he could
play this going forward. He enjoyed being with Cade – not just the sex, but
being near him. Talking to him. He would accept what Cade had to offer for
however long he offered it, then Mal would learn to live without him when the
time came. He did it before with Tyler; he’d do it again with his rock star.

Mal
cut the shortening into the flour and laughed to himself. Fucking Malcolm
Wilson couldn’t do shit half-way. Get caught with your dick in a guy? Have your
father try to kill you. Finally find a man to spend time with? He’s a goddamn
musician known world-wide. Suzette made her way into the kitchen and came
around to stand beside Mal at the counter. Cade was in the shower, so they were
free to talk. “How much of that did you hear?”

“Enough.
I’m gonna give you a piece of advice whether you want it or not, Son. I might
not can see, but I can hear. The tone of that man’s voice when he talks to you,
there’s something there. Something longing, hurting. Just because someone has
money doesn’t mean they have happiness. I know you’re a proud man, Malcolm. You
should be. You’re the best man, the hardest working man I know. But don’t let
that pride stand in the way of your happiness. So what if he has money? So what
if we don’t? True love isn’t built on a bank account or lack thereof. It’s built
on friendship and mutual admiration for the other person. I’m not going to
promise neither one of you will get hurt in the long run, but that old saying
holds truth to it – ‘it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have
loved at all’.”

His
momma stepped closer and placed her hand on his shoulder. “I thought I had true
love with your daddy, but he proved me wrong quickly. Now I have a chance at
something… might not turn into love, but at least it’s a friendship and mutual
admiration that I want to see where it takes me. With your blessing, I want to
start seeing Walt regularly. We talked about it last night while we were eating
ice cream.”

Mal
leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. “Thanks, Ma. For everything. And of
course you have my blessin’ with Walt.”

“Good,
because he’s coming to get me in a little while, and we’re going to his house
for the day.”

Mal
laughed and poured the buttermilk into the flour. He was putting the last
biscuit on the pan when Cade came into the kitchen looking better than any man
had a right to. His hair was darker since it was still damp, and Cade had it
combed back off his forehead instead of spiked all over the place. His scruff
was leaning more towards a short beard, and Mal found it sexy as hell. When
Cade was close enough, Mal ran his fingers through the whiskers. It was softer
than when he grew his own beard out.

“Do
you want me to shave?” Cade asked, reaching up, feeling the other side of his
jaw.

“Hell
no. That right there is sexy as fuck,” Mal whispered. The smile Cade gave him
had his heart soaring.

Cade
kissed him hard and quick on the mouth. “Coffee. I need some coffee.” Mal held
out the cup he had already poured when he heard the shower turn off. Cade took
it to the table and dumped sugar in it.

“I
don’t see how you don’t have diabetes,” Mal joked.

“And
I don’t see how you don’t weigh three hundred pounds from eating biscuits every
day. I’m going to have to hit the gym extra hard when I get home.”

Mal
thought back to their workout in the barn the night before. He wished there was
more time for another round, but they had an ATV to go buy. Once they got back
to the farm, they’d spend the rest of the day riding. Maybe before Cade left,
they could at least get in a blowjob.

Suzette
offered to do the dishes, so Cade helped Mal load a set of ramps in the back of
his truck. Cade didn’t protest at the country music coming from the radio, even
when Mal began singing along. He had a pretty good voice, or so he’d been told.
Every once in a while, Cade tapped along with the music. It showed his level of
experience when he could pick up the beat without having ever heard the song
before.

They
arrived at the dealership and went inside to look around. Mal mentally drooled
over some of the larger machines. His ATV was a small basic model. It did what
he needed it to on the farm for the most part, but he still wished he could
have one of the bigger ones. As if Cade heard his thoughts, he asked Mal, “If
you could have any one of these, which one would you pick?”

Mal
looked at several of the ATVs before settling on a larger version of the one he
had in the barn. “This one.” It was a lie, because somehow he knew Cade was
going to choose whichever one Mal picked out. He didn’t want the man spending a
lot of money on something he would hardly ever ride. Cade studied the price tag
on the one Mal pointed to before looking at the tags on a few of the more
expensive models.

“I
know what you’re thinking, Cowboy, but since you’ll be riding it while I’m
gone, I want you to have a good one.”

“Cade,
accordin’ to the rep for the new company, I’ll be gettin’ a horse soon. I won’t
need an expensive ATV.”

 When
a salesman approached, Cade told him, “I want this one, but I’m not paying sticker.
I’ll give you seven thousand cash.” He ignored Mal, who was getting ready to
protest.

“That’s
a pretty big discount. I’ll need to talk to my manager.”

“That’s
fine, but tell your manager if he doesn’t accept my offer, I have no problem
driving down to Nashville.”

The
salesman hurried off, and Mal spoke up, “Cade, seriously, that’s too much.”

“Don’t
argue unless you want me to shut you up in front of all these fine folks,” Cade
whispered, looking at Mal’s mouth. Mal caught his intention and licked his
lips.

Cade
groaned as the salesman returned from the back of the showroom. “Looks like you
have yourself a deal Mr…”

“Anderson.
Cade Anderson.” Mal walked off to let Cade deal with the salesman. Even though
the four wheeler was technically Cade’s, Mal knew Cade was buying it for him to
use on the farm. Mal didn’t know what to think or how to feel. He’d never been
in a relationship where someone bought him things. Hell, he’d never been in a
relationship period, other than the few months he and Tyler were together. He
thought of his parents. His father never bought his ma anything. He wasn’t
aware of Neil spending money on Melanie for something just because she wanted
it. Cade had been honest about having more money than he could ever spend, but
it still didn’t lessen the guilt Mal felt.

While
the salesman prepared the ATV for transport, Cade helped Mal get the ramps in
place. Since Cade wasn’t familiar with the machine, he let Mal do the honors of
driving it up the ramps and into the back of the truck. Cade asked if the ATV
was going to tip over backwards, but Mal assured him it would not before
expertly driving the machine into the bed of the truck. He set the brake and
hopped down onto the asphalt. Cade turned his back on Mal, but he could tell he
was adjusting his dick. Damn, what had he done to get the drummer worked up?

Both
Mal and Cade shook the salesman’s hand and climbed into the truck. Mal didn’t
bother protesting about the four wheeler. It was bought and paid for, so he
could either accept the fact Cade had thrown his money around for Mal, or he
could put a damper on the rest of their day. Their last day together. He didn’t
want that. He wanted what little time they had left to be fun and filled with
good memories, because those memories were going to have to last Mal for a long
time coming. When they pulled into the driveway, the gate was wide open, and
Mal smacked the steering wheel.

“What’s
wrong?” Cade asked.

“It’s
Sunday.”

“And?”

Mal
sighed. “I thought Ma would have told Melanie we weren’t eatin’ dinner today.
Guess she forgot.” Mal pulled the truck up alongside Melanie and Neil’s worn
out car.

The
kitchen door opened before they could get out of the truck. Melanie, holding
Megan, came rushing out. “Where is she, Mal? Where’s Momma?” she was talking to
Mal but staring at Cade.

Matilda
sped out of the kitchen and ran towards Mal. He bent over to scoop her up and
twirled her around. “Hey there, Munchkin.” He smiled at his niece. He loved
that kid, and she loved him.

“Why’s
you not cooking, Uncle Mal?” she asked when they were standing still.

“I
had somethin’ to do. Your gramma was supposed to call and tell you we weren’t
eatin’ today.”

“Mal,
where is Momma?” Melanie demanded again.

“She’s
over at Walt’s.” Mal set the little girl down on her feet just as Neil exited
the house. Neil cut his eyes at Cade, and Mal prayed his brother-in-law didn’t
say anything to embarrass him or piss him off. He wouldn’t fight Neil in front
of Matilda, but he wouldn’t hesitate to throw down with him in private. Cade
must have sensed the animosity between them, because he stepped up next to Mal.
He gave Cade a shake of his head. “Melanie, Neil, this is my friend Cade. Cade,
my sister Melanie and her husband. This is Matilda,” Mal motioned to the girl
he had been holding. “That is Megan,” he said, indicating the toddler who was
holding her arms out toward Cade.

Cade
closed the distance between him and Melanie and asked, “May I?” reaching for
the little girl. She lunged herself at Cade, and he held her close. “Hi, Sweet
Pea. Remember me?”  It took Mal a few seconds to recall that Cade had come
by looking for him. He didn’t know Melanie and the kids had been there, though.
It was obvious Neil didn’t want Cade holding his daughter, but it was equally
as obvious that Cade didn’t give a rat’s ass. “Is the baby asleep?  I
didn’t get to see her last time I was here,” he asked Melanie, completely
ignoring her husband. Mal didn’t know whether to cheer or get ready for a
fight.

“Yeah,
she’s in the house. Mal, why is Momma at Walt’s? And why aren’t we eating?”

Mal
was uncomfortable with the situation, but not because of Cade’s presence. Cade
had shown Suzette more affection in two days than Neil had in almost ten years.
He knew it was irrational, but he didn’t consider Neil family, and as such, he
didn’t care to discuss their situation in front of him.

“Hopefully,
she’s gettin’ laid.”

“Malcolm!
That’s our mother you’re talking about.”

Cade
coughed back a laugh, and Mal had to check his reaction to the sound. It
wouldn’t do to let Neil know how much he enjoyed Cade’s laughter.

 “Yeah,
she’s our mother, and she deserves some happiness in her life. So does Walt.
They’ve decided to start seein’ each other. I don’t have a problem with it, and
neither should you. Now, I’m sorry she didn’t call you about dinner, but as you
can see, I have company, and we have work to do. I’m sure Matilda won’t mind
bein’ treated to a burger and shake at the Dairy Barn.” Mal took his niece to
get milkshakes any time he watched her for Melanie. The kid deserved a treat
every once in a while.

“Oooh,
can we, Momma? Can we gets a milkshake?” Matilda was pulling at her mother’s
shirt.

“Yes,
ma’am, we can.” Melanie smiled at her daughter, but the smile faded when she
looked at her brother.

Neil
finally spoke. “Let’s go get Molly and load up so we can let Uncle Mal get to
work
.”
The sneer towards Mal was not missed. He was used to the bastard taunting him,
but again, he let it slide. Cade was watching their interactions, but instead
of commenting, he blew raspberries on Megan’s cheek, completely enthralled with
the little girl’s laugh. When Neil stepped closer, the child threw her arms
around Cade’s neck. Mal didn’t miss the hatred on his brother-in-law’s face
when his daughter clung to a complete stranger. If he was the little girl, he
wouldn’t want to go to her father, either. Cade gave her another kiss before
handing her over. The little girl started crying, but Mal pulled Cade back.

Eventually,
the three girls were strapped into car seats, and Mal’s sister and her crew
were headed down the driveway. “I don’t think Neil likes me very much,” Cade
said once they were out of earshot.