Reign or Shine (16 page)

that you drink the potion--she says it's the only way. She al owed me to come back here to check if you had or not." He met my eyes and his expression was strained. "You have to drink it, Nikki."

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My throat thickened. "Do you real y want me to forget about you?"

"It's the only way."

"You keep saying that. But it doesn't answer my question."

He looked down at the ground. "Princess, I'm a servant. I'm not supposed to want things." "You don't act like a servant." "Then I'm very sorry," he said. "But I'm just supposed to do what I'm told without questioning it. It's the only way I've ever known."

Something about how he said it made me think very hard. Servants couldn't question orders given to them. They had to do what others told them because

. . . because why? They weren't supposed to have minds of their own. Not al owed to make their own decisions, whether that decision was right or wrong.

Sounded like being a teenager. Everybody told me what to do. Where to move. What classes to take, what tests to study for. What books to read.

And now I was being told to drink a potion because there was no other way. Elizabeth's argument for me drinking it was a very good one, though. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to be queen.

No other choice.

"For what it's worth," Michael said after a moment of silence between us, "I don't want you to forget about me. And if things were at al different, I'd tel you

not to drink

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the potion if you didn't real y want to. But that would be selfish and stupid of me."

I shook my head. "It's not stupid. Or selfish."

He met my gaze again and held it. "When King Desmond first told me to come here to the human realm, to find his daughter and bring her back to see him, I was convinced you'd be a spoiled brat. I thought that as soon as you found out I was your servant you'd treat me like a nobody. That's the reason I

didn't tel you what I was until you found out from your father. When we were in the al eyway after that guy attacked you, and you didn't leave me there--you waited, you stayed with me until I was better--I didn't feel like a nobody. I didn't want to lose that."

"You're
not
a nobody," I told him, swal owing past the huge lump in my throat.

"My parents died when I was young and your father has treated me wel . I can't real y complain too much. But it's not the same as ... as how you treat me.

You surprised me, Princess. So much. And when you kissed me last night ..." He pressed his lips together.

I waited as my heart drummed loudly.

He blinked. "Everything changed."

I inhaled sharply. "What does that mean?"

"It means I don't want you to take the potion and forget about me. It means even though I know who I am and who you are I stil want to kiss you again right now. So badly." His mouth was close to mine and he stroked my back-to-blonde hair off my face. "But I can't."

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He pul ed back and reached down the front of his shirt to pul his amulet out. Only then did I realize he'd had it tucked inside his shirt before.

"Why not?"

"Because your father wanted me to protect you, and that's what I'm going to do." He turned and looked away. "That's why you have to drink the potion. When you do that, you'l be safe." It was silent then between us as I thought about everything Michael had just told me. Why did this have to be so hard?

"You said my father only has hours left," I said. He nodded gravely. "I want to see him."

"I already told you that's not a very good idea."

"I heard you. But I don't care. I want you to take me to him and Elizabeth again. Please."

"Princess. Please, drink the potion now. It's for your own protection."

"No."

His gaze snapped to mine. "No?"

I set my jaw. "That's right. I know everybody wants me to drink it, and I'm going to, eventual y. But I want to see my father first, or else I'l refuse to drink it at

al . I want to go back to the Shadowlands to see him one last time. Please help me do that."

"You'd put yourself at personal risk to make this happen?"

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I crossed my arms. "Looks like." "And if I stil refuse?"

I slowly let out a shaky breath. "My father said that you were supposed to do as I asked. Isn't that true?"

He grimaced. I hated having to remind him of his servant status. I didn't think of him that way--not even slightly. But I needed him to take me back without

arguing. Even though commanding him to do it made me feel sick inside.

"Of course it's true, Princess." He looked away. "If you order me to take you back, then there is nothing I can do but take you."

I forced myself not to cry. "Then I order you to take me back to the Shadowlands."

"Very wel ." He nodded slowly. "We should leave immediately."

"I need five minutes first. I have to go inside and say good-bye to my friends or they'l be worried about me."

He didn't look directly at me. "I'l wait here."

Heavy-hearted, I stopped at the limo first and retrieved my purse through the opening where the door had blown off. I'd placed the potion bottle inside it since I couldn't hide it under the low neckline of my dress. I went inside the school, and into the gym. I'd already said good-bye to Melinda earlier so that

wasn't actual y my main reason for going back.

Instead, I went to the bathroom and stared at my now-disheveled reflection in the mirror over the sinks. At least 166

I didn't see any remaining traces of Darkling. I'd ful y turned Darkling twice--three times if you counted what happened to Robert--and I was stil alive, stil

breathing. Maybe Elizabeth was wrong. Maybe I was different from the other Darklings she'd researched.

I tried to smooth my now-messy updo back into place. I splashed cold water on my face and touched up what little of my makeup was left as best as I could. I dug into my purse to get my lipstick and my fingers grazed the bottle of potion. I pul ed it out and looked at it for a long moment, a mil ion possibilities racing through my mind.

If I drank it everything would be normal again.

But what was normal anymore?

Michael didn't want me to drink it but he said I had to. Sounded exactly how I felt about it, too. Didn't want to, but
had to.

I was so sick of being told what I had to do. It was usual y the exact opposite of what I
wanted
to do.

I stared at my reflection for a couple more minutes, trying to wil something deep inside of me to the surface. Courage, inner strength, serenity, something

that would help me to do what I knew then, without a shadow of a doubt, I had to do.

After another minute, I left the bathroom and walked to the punch bowl to get a glass of the fruity beverage. Drinking it made me feel momentarily better. I

hadn't realized how thirsty I was. I looked down into the bowl as the orange slices swam on top, and I tried to col ect my thoughts. I wanted to get rid of the

feeling of dread that swirled

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violently in my head--not unlike the dark storm clouds beginning to circle over the school, threatening snow.

A storm was brewing and I was headed right toward it.

But no one seemed to notice but me. 168

I seriously wished I'd taken a coat to the dance. Little did I know I'd be walking through Erin Heights in a spaghetti-strapped silk dress and bare legs in the middle of December. Luckily, it wasn't snowing yet, but I was stil chil ed to the bone.

Michael noticed I was shivering and immediately gave me his hooded sweatshirt to wear. Otherwise he was quiet.

"Thank you," I said, zipping it up over my dress. I stil felt horrible that I had ordered him around. "Look . . . I'm sorry about this. Real y."

"Forget it," he said quietly.

But I
didn't
want to forget. That was one of the reasons I was going back to the Shadowlands. I was sure there had to be a way for everything to work out

without taking the potion.

I knew I'd made some potential y questionable decisions. I just hoped it would al work out for the best.

"Do me a favor, though?" he asked after another minute. "Don't tel Elizabeth you've turned Darkling. It wil ... it wil worry her too much."

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He was right about that. I wouldn't tel her. But she was the resident expert on Darklings. I had to talk to her and get more of an idea of what I was up against.

Besides, if she was wil ing to be queen and I didn't want the position, why couldn't it be left at that? A decision rather than an uncontrol able selection process that couldn't be changed?

I looked at Michael. I could tel that he was trying to sense where we could find another gateway. His amulet pulsed with dim light.

"My father told me that if Shadows stil ruled the Shadowlands you'd be a prince," I said. "Is that true?" I wasn't sure where the question came from, but I

had to ask.

He kept his eyes on the sidewalk ahead of him. "Yeah. But they don't and I'm not, so it doesn't real y matter, does it?" His amulet flared with green light. He

turned right once we entered the downtown area. "Here's where we want to go."

Behind the convenience store where Mom usual y picked up milk and scratch-and-win lottery tickets, Michael took hold of a large Dumpster and pul ed it

away from the wal an inch or two. Behind it I could see a dul glow.

"That's a gateway?" I asked.

He nodded. "They're wel hidden in the human realm and they shift regularly. We wouldn't want just anyone accidental y dropping into another dimension,

would we?"

"No, that would be very bad."

Once he'd pul ed the Dumpster completely away from the wal and I could see the outline of the gateway clearly, 170

he turned to me with a concerned expression. "Look, I'm doing this for you against my wil . I want you to know this. You shouldn't go back there. You should drink the potion and be safe here. But you want to go and so I'm taking you. Just . . . just be careful, okay?"

I'd expected him to stil be mad at me for pul ing rank and this strange concern was surprising. I swal owed hard. "Okay."

He fixed me with a grim look that softened the longer he gazed into my eyes. And then he turned around and disappeared through the glowing gateway. I

didn't wait too long. I fol owed, experiencing the lurch and vertigo of my previous gateway trip. The next moment I stood on the threshold of the Shadowlands, with the faery realm next to me, warm and green and beautiful.

Well, here 1 am again,
I thought, as the stunned realization sunk in that I was real y back. The vertigo stayed a moment longer than last time and I wobbled in my high heels. Michael put his arm around my waist to steady me. After I regained my equilibrium, I took off his sweatshirt and handed it back to him. Our fingers brushed as he took it from me and then he slowly gazed at my lavender dress, which he could now see in daylight.

"You look so beautiful, Princess," he said.

A breath caught in my chest. I normal y would have been thril ed with a compliment from him, but he said it so sadly and when he looked in my eyes, he

seemed worried.

He was afraid. Of what, exactly? Of bringing me back

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here unannounced and getting in trouble? Of my father dying and my being trapped here as a very unwil ing queen? I was afraid of that, too. More than he

knew. Or was it something else entirely?

Before I could ask, he turned away from me. "Let's go."

My high heels dug into the soft ground as we walked, but once the ground turned to gray rock it was a bit better, although stil precarious. The front doors of Castle Dread opened for us when we final y reached them and a chil went down my spine as I entered the now-familiar expansive front area with its

glistening black floor and spiral staircase.

I felt a wave of fear then, but I knew there was no time for that. I wanted to see my father, I wanted to talk to my aunt. Now, before it was too late.

My feet were kil ing me. Heels were great for sitting in a limo and hanging out at a dance, but obviously not so good for interdimensional travel. I took a minute to take them off and leave them by the front door, preferring to walk around on the cool, smooth floors in bare feet than to continue with my self

inflicted torture.

"Where's Elizabeth?" I asked.

"She's probably in her quarters," Michael said as we began making our way up the stairs. At the top I reached for his hand and he glanced at me with

surprise.

"You don't mind?" I asked.

"Of course not."

We walked past the large, cavernous room with the fireplace that I remembered very clearly from last night, and 172

then down a hal , deeper into the castle. Instead of electric lights, there were candles and oil lamps on the wal s. The flames flickered in the darkness to

light the hal way.

Michael glanced at me. "You're sure you real y want to be here?"

"Of course. Why?"

"Because you're practical y squeezing my hand off my wrist."

I cleared my throat. "Maybe I'm a little anxious."

His grip increased on my hand as wel . "I can take you back. You don't have to be here at al . We can leave."

I shook my head. "I have to talk to my aunt."

Then I froze as I heard a bel owing roar reverberate through the castle. The sound made me go cold with fear.

"What was that?" I managed.

Michael's arm came around my waist. "It's okay."

"It didn't sound okay. What was it?"

His jaw was tight. "Your father."

My heart clenched. My father made that horrible noise? It sounded like a creature in such anguish that death would be a relief.

"Don't cry," Michael said as he stroked my tears away.

"How can I not cry when my father is in so much pain?"

He swal owed. "Come on. Let's see your aunt."

I listened for any more sounds from my father, but there was only silence. We continued on through the castle until we came to an open doorway. I peered inside to see my aunt standing behind a black, marble-footed basin that