Authors: Raven St. Pierre
“Elan!”
She yelled. Her eyes were wide with surprise that he could lose control like this. I was stuck against the wall, wishing I could run and hide, but I wouldn’t dare leave Jolon to face this alone.
“I’ll kill you!” Elan
roared at the top of his lungs. Big John scuffled with him, almost losing his grip a couple times.
Kaya threw her hands up. “I’m done….
I’m going home. You all can find your own ride.” Before leaving, she turned to me with a coldness in her eyes that I’d only seen coming from Alicia. It was the cold gaze of hatred. Her words were even icy when she spoke. “I feel sorry for you, Solei. You know as well as I do that what goes around comes around.” She paused to make sure she had my full attention. “Just don’t be too surprised when Jolon breaks your heart and walks all over your face just like Vince did. Just keep in mind when it burns twice as bad, that this time you deserve it,” she hissed. A smug grin came over her face. “You utterly humiliated
me
…..so just consider the favor returned.” She turned to Big John. “Happy birthday, Mr. Cordero. Sorry I ruined your dinner.” Like a hurricane that only blew through long enough to cause chaos, Kaya quickly left the room and then the house altogether. But even with her gone, things were far from quiet.
“Let me go!” Elan demanded. “I’m g
onna kill him!”
“Stop talking like that!
He’s your brother,” Liz scolded.
“Brothers don’t do what
he did,” he replied, still struggling against his father. “He
knew
I loved her! Without a doubt he knew! You didn’t have the balls to go after her when I did, but you grew a pair to snatch her out from under my nose. That’s something
cowards
do, Jo. When’d you start acting like such a bi.…,” Elan started.
“Watch your mouth in this house!” Liz was nearly shaking.
Jolon narrowed his eyes and ignored his mother’s plea. “How’d you even have time to be worried about me and Solei when you’ve been screwing Joanna again behind her back anyway?” He accused. “Yeah, didn’t think anyone knew about that did you?”
Elan growled in anger at Jolon’s words. He seemed to be even madder now that Jolon revealed his dirty little secret.
I was confused. Was he talking about the same Joanna I was thinking of? How did Elan know her? “What? Joanna who?” I asked.
Jolon
turned to me apologetically, feeling guilty for withholding this information from me until now. “Solei, I would’ve told you about it, but I had to be sure. She’s his ex,” he clarified. “That day in the shop, we were talking and I told you I found that letter Elan was writing and I thought it was addressed to me – it wasn’t, he used to call her Jo too,” he spoke quickly because Elan was still going crazy. “Then when you said she was getting married, I started putting two and two together. He must’ve heard about it too. He’d been leaving out real late at night the past few weeks and I knew he wasn’t going to see you because most of the time you and me were on the phone. That night you were trying to get a hold of him, that’s why he was so tired – he’d been with her the night before. I just wasn’t sure and it didn’t make sense to tell you that, considering everything else that’s been going on.” Jolon didn’t realize that he didn’t have to explain. My feelings weren’t hurt because they were no longer wrapped up in Elan anyway.
“Liz, get on now. I’ve got this under control,” Big John demanded, feeling that this
conversation was becoming more than she needed to hear.
She didn’t move at first.
“Your heart, John,” she said, sounding more like she was begging than trying to remind him why he needed to keep his cool.
“Go on now
, Lizzy. It’s fine,” he assured her. She looked at all three of their faces and then finally gave in and went to her bedroom where she closed the door. John met Jolon’s gaze. “Now I don’t have to expect trouble out of you too do I?”
Jolon put his hands up to show that he was s
ubdued. His father nodded his head and continued to restrain Elan. He put him in a headlock because he couldn’t hold his grip on him any other way. “Boy, you keep fighting me I’ll put you on the floor myself. Now are you gonna act like you’ve got some sense and sit here and talk this out like a man?”
Elan was winded, red in the face
, and sweating profusely.
“Can I let you go?” His father asked
again. When he stopped struggling, John finally released him, keeping watch to be sure he wasn’t going to try anything. Elan’s eyes were locked on Jolon while he fixed his shirt and paced the floor.
“Now,” John started, “Let me get this straight. Jo, you and this young lady here hav
e been sneaking around and things behind your brother’s back?”
“Dad, I…”
John put his hand up, letting Jolon know that he had to be straight up, no sugarcoating with him. “Tell it like it is, son. Were you or weren’t you?”
Jolon put his head down
and hesitantly replied, “Yes, sir.”
“Alright now we’re getting somewhere,” Big john replied. “And Elan, you’ve been
seeing Joanna again. Is that right?”
H
e shook his head. “Only because Solei didn’t leave me much choice.”
His father made a face. “Now I’m sure that made a whole
lotta sense in that head of yours, but to the rest of us it was a bunch of claptrap.”
Elan raised an eyebrow. “Apparently
my
girl was too busy tending to my
brother’s
needs to tend to mine…..so I did what I had to do.” His eyes were locked on me. The way he said that made me feel like a whore.
Bi
g John sighed and shook his head at his son’s remark. “Glad I sent your mother out the room when I did.” John said under his breath. “Jo, what do you have to say for yourself in all this? I get that you were following your feelings, but…..you have to admit that this isn’t like you. You have to know that it wasn’t right.”
Jolon sighed and nodded.
“Well…..what were you thinking?” His father asked.
Jolon shrugged. “I wasn’t…….all I know is that I love her,” he admitted. The pure honesty in his voice was hard to ignore. I think his father took note of that as well judging by the look on his face. I wanted to go to Jolon, but couldn’t under the circumstances.
“So that makes this ok?” Elan interrupted.
“Settle down now,” John said. “Let Jo speak.” Elan sighed, his teeth clenched so tight that his Jaw was protruding. “Continue.”
Jolon took a deep breath. “I know this sounds bad, but neither of us meant for it to happen like this.” He looked up at his brother. “Believe me E; if I could’ve stopped this, I would’ve……but there wasn’t anything I could do. Trust me when I say that I tried. No one knows that better than Solei.”
E
lan continued to pace, his arms folded over his chest, his eyes locked on the ground.
“Nothing to say to that?”
John asked Elan.
No reply.
I looked back and forth between the two brothers and waited. Jolon looked devastated. This was exactly what he didn’t want to happen. Everything came out the wrong way and now Elan knew each and every dirty little detail. When I thought about it, I couldn’t even be remotely upset about his indiscretion. Who could blame him? He’d been harboring suspicion about his brother and me for all this time and then, add to
that
the fact that I would hardly let him touch me. Yes, he cheated, but he cheated because, in a way, I drove him to it.
John t
urned back to Jolon with a less than hopeful expression. Still, he tried to give an encouraging word. “You’re just gonna have to give him time, Son.”
Jolon nodded and then turned away.
Elan startled everyone when he stormed out of the dining room and headed to the front door. He didn’t look at any of us on his way out. The picture in the front hall fell and shattered on the ground when he slammed the door shut. With him gone, the atmosphere changed. I looked around at the mess on the ground and instantly thought of Mrs. Cordero. What she must think of me right now. She’d gone out of her way to prepare this meal for us only to have it literally torn apart. No, I wasn’t the one that created this fiasco tonight, but in a way…I was. I was at the epicenter of this mess, so I was basically responsible.
Without giving it another thought, I got down on my knees and started cleaning up. I gathered the broken glass form the dishes and scooped the food up with my hands and dropped it onto one of the few platters that hadn’t shattered. Jolon stood there watching me cleaning up the
mess. He moved to the doorway and came back with a broom and a couple garbage bags. Big John took a seat in a chair near the wall and observed. He was out of breath which made me keep my eye on him while I worked. His history of multiple heart attacks was what caused him to have to turn his business over to his sons. This disaster could have very well sent him over the edge again.
“You alrigh
t, Dad?” Jolon asked.
His father waved him off. “Don’t worry about me. It’ll take more than a little brawl to get me all worked up.”
Jolon smiled nervously in response, continuing to evaluate his father’s condition while he swept. That would be the most ironic occurrence for him to fall ill because of this situation, adding yet another notch to my belt. While we finished, he sat and his condition continued to improve which eased both me and Jolon’s minds.
It didn’t take long for us to get things back in order. Once the floor was clean, Jolon carried the mangled table to the trash and then hauled the rug to the garage so that his father could take it to be cleaned later in the week. I stood in the doorway of the empty dining room and replayed the whole ugly evening in my head. How did all this happen?
It felt like I was dreaming, or stuck in a nightmare rather.
Now, Jolon had disappeared too – maybe to go find Elan. I wasn’t sure. More than anything I wanted to talk to
him, make sure he was doing alright after this. The look on his face when Elan finally put the entire scenario together was emblazoned in my head. While the love I feel for Jolon is strong, I almost wished that those feelings didn’t exist. That would have made things so much easier. There wouldn’t be this huge piece of me that feels like it’s missing whenever he’s not around. If I could’ve just loved Elan like I was supposed to and been able to just treat Jolon like I would’ve treated any one of my other boyfriend’s brothers, I wouldn’t have created this mess. Why did I have to love him? Why did he have to love
me
?
Big John looked around and took a deep breath. “Well, guess we’ll be ordering pizza tonight.
After that we’ll just get a good night’s rest and then head out in the morning. Doesn’t make sense to hit the highway tonight.”
I nodded and sighed. “Listen, I’m really, really sorry
about all this.” There was a deafening pain shooting through my head that made me pause. “I never meant for any of this to happen. Please believe me. Jolon and I had already decided to come clean Monday. I swear.”
“Don’t apologize. You didn’t do this,” he assured me. His kind words still didn’t make me feel any better. Big John smiled a little. “This may sound strange to you, but…..I’m almost not surprised this happened. Well maybe I wasn’t expecting this exact situation, but you know…..I’m not su
rprised Jolon finally got fed up.”
I’m sure I had a strange look on my face. That’s probably what made Big John laugh.
“I’m not sure of the exact way you came to know either of my sons, but seeing as how they’re usually together, I’d bet they were when you met them too,” he said.
“Well…..no, I actually met Jolon
before
I met Elan.”
He chuckled again.
“You saying that just confirmed my theory. Let me ask you something. Deep down in your heart, knowing all that you know about Jolon, do you believe that he didn’t start loving you until you were with his brother? Do you think he’s capable of that?”
I didn’t even have to think about it.
“No, sir.”
“Well, let me ask you something else. Knowing how close the two of them are, do you really believe that Elan didn’t know that too? Don’t you think he knows his brother well enough to know when he’s interested in a young lady? Maybe he even recognized that you were Jo’s type,”
Big John added. “The point is I know my boys better than their own momma. She likes to see them through rosy glasses that blot out all their imperfections, but I see them for who they are. For years Jo would take the fall for his brother, putting Elan’s feelings before his own. Sure…Elan appreciated it – might even tell him so, but not even once have I seen him make that same sacrifice. Now don’t get me wrong, the boy’s not bad or anything, he just can’t always see past what he
wants
to see what someone else may
need
. You get what I’m saying, hun?”
I nodded.
“It’s not that Elan didn’t have real feelings for you
too
…..but it’s like this. Sometimes you can have a piece of gold in your hands and know that it’s gold and it’s pretty and shiny and all that good stuff. But….it’s not until someone else comes along and looks at that gold in such a way, that without saying anything, the value of it goes up right there in your hand. That’s when you realize how much it’s worth.” He looked at me and nodded a little. “You’re that piece of gold, my dear, and Elan may not have realized how special you were until he saw the way his brother looked at you. You following me?”