Reckless Secrets (21 page)

"There's a lot of light pollution out here. This is the best we can do." He pulled me into a sit between his legs, wrapped his arms around me, and held the iPad in front of me so I could see as he brought up the app.

A moon shone over the lake, lighting it, my white sweatshirt, even my pale skin and Logan's hands, until they glowed pearlescent and magical. The lake lapped softly against the dock, gently bouncing us and making soft splashes that echoed off the water. The air held a tang of lake and rising mist as it formed over the lake.

For a moment, I got this crazy feeling that I had been here and done this before. And then I remembered the dream I'd had. It had been summer in the dream. I'd worn a white bikini, not a white sweatshirt. I shivered because it was still eerie, like fate was toying with me.

Logan wrapped me more tightly in his arms. "Cold?" His breath was hot in my ear.

I shook my head. "Happy." And still not able to reconcile the Logan I knew with the description his father had given me.

Logan pointed the iPad at the sky, aligning the starwatching app with the stars above us, pointing out the constellations. "Cassiopeia, Andromeda, Pisces." He shook his head. "With so much light, you have to guess at exactly where all the stars are and imagine the rest."

"Good thing we have the app," I teased, and snuggled against him.

Unlike the dream, no archer emerged to pierce my heart. But he didn't need to. It already belonged to Logan.

"Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you happy?" Since talking with Harlan, I'd been unreasonably worried.

"Yeah. Why? Don't worry about that shit with my dad earlier."

I nodded. "Okay."

I guess I didn't sound convincing.
 

He lowered the iPad until it rested on my legs. "What did my dad say to you?"

"Nothing."

"El, come on. It's me. What did he say that has you worried?"

I bit my lip. "Why didn't you tell me the full story about your car accident?" I paused. "It wasn't an accident, was it?"

He held me so tightly in his arms, it was like he was trying to hold onto me forever. He pressed his face close to my ear. "No."

"You really—"

"Yes." He squeezed me tighter. "But it's not like I'm chronically depressed. It was a bad combination of the painkillers and alcohol and stress. I snapped. But I'm good now. It's not going to happen again. My doctor agrees. It was a freak thing. I know to avoid that combo now."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I don't like to remember. And I don't want you to see me that way." He pressed his cheek against mine and his voice got a hard edge. "Why did Dad tell you?"

"He didn't mean to. He thought I knew."

Logan didn't answer.

"How do you
want
me to see you?" I asked, stroking his hands.

"Like a hero," he whispered in my ear.

"Do I seem like a girl who needs a hero?" I stared at the lake and the twinkling lights across it, wishing they were shooting stars I could wish on and make everything come out right.
 

"No, definitely not. I just want you to see me as a hero." I could see his breath in the cold, humid night air, giving physical substance to his words.

My eyes misted up at the tender emotion in his voice. I swore I could feel his heart beating. I set the iPad on the dock next to us, pulled loose from Logan's arms, and spun around to sit in his lap, facing him with my legs around his waist. "I love you, Logan Walker."
 

He started to smile, but I kissed him before he could speak. Pressed myself into him, ran my hands through his hair, and squeezed him with my legs.

He slid his hands beneath my sweatshirt and T-shirt. His hands should have been cold, but they were hot, burning with desire against my skin. He pulled away from my kiss, stripped off his sweatshirt, rolled it into a ball, and put it on the dock as he extracted himself from my embrace. He moved like an athlete, graceful against the backdrop of the sky, mist, and stars, as he positioned himself over me on his knees and eased me back to rest against his sweatshirt like a pillow.
 

His bare arms glowed in the moonlight, only the edges of his tattoo remained a dark shadow of design where they peeked from beneath the sleeves of his T-shirt. As he straddled me, he kissed my nose and my lips, and then his lips were hot against my neck. The lake lapped against the dock, rocking us gently and slowly.

This was the dream. This was my dream coming true.

His kisses traveled down to this rise of my breasts. As he slid up my sweatshirt and shirt and unlatched my front-hook bra, my breasts budded in the cold night air, pointing toward the stars, aching for his touch. My breath caught as he bent and gently kissed them, as his mouth opened around them and his tongue circled them, licking until I moaned. Pleasure built between my legs with tight, pulsing intensity.
 

I needed his touch. I needed him. I forgot where I was and why I'd been upset. I arched up against him. He unzipped my jeans. Just as he slipped his fingers beneath the lace of my panties to the sweet spot that longed for him, I heard footsteps coming toward us from the house.
 

"Logan! Logan, are you still out here watching the stars? I'd like to see them, too." His mother, bundled in a jacket and hat, walked across the lawn toward us.

Logan rolled off me. I hurriedly hooked my bra, pulled my sweatshirt down and zipped my jeans as Logan grabbed his sweatshirt and slid it on.

By the time Sue reached us, we were both decent. She smiled at us like she knew exactly what she was interrupting. "What a lovely night for stargazing." She sat down next to Logan and put her arm on his shoulder. "What are we looking at?"

The lighting was dim, but I heard the smugness in her voice.

"Cassiopeia," I said, pointing toward the sky. "Chained to her throne. Good punishment for a mother who sacrificed her daughter Andromeda to a sea monster."

Yeah, I'd been reading over Logan's shoulder before. The app had all the details and mythology. Cassiopeia was also punished for boasting that she was more beautiful than all the Nereids. Guess Cassiopeia had a bit of both our moms in her.

Thanksgiving day was frenzied in the Walker household as Sue got ready for her evening party. Caterers and servers. Maids. I'd never seen anything like it. The house, already beautiful, was transformed into a Thanksgiving fantasy that looked like it belonged in a magazine.

Logan brought me breakfast in bed—gingerbread pancakes and syrup, ham, and an assortment of fruit, juice, and coffee. He warned me to stay out of the fray. "The kitchen. The dining room. The living room. Basically any room but this one are not safe to be in," he said with a laugh. "I should have warned you that breakfast is early. And you take it and dash to your room."

I was still in my pajamas. We cuddled on my bed while I sat and watched the parades on the TV in my bedroom until Sue found him and dragged him away. That was the last I saw of him all day. Sue kept him busy and away from me. I thought she was making a concerted effort to keep us apart.

I nervously waited for a text from Jason that he'd told Lyssa the truth about us. But my phone was silent except for a text from Logan apologizing for ignoring me and claiming his mom was a tyrant. I laughed at the absurdity of him having to text me when I was in his house. I kept thinking about Logan—what else didn't I know about him?

The guests began arriving at six for a seven o'clock meal. Logan picked me up at my bedroom door like we were on an official date. It was silly and sweet. He was dressed in slacks and a dress shirt and looked so good I wanted to stay in with him, not go out and face his parents' crowd.

I was pleased by his reaction and the way his pupils dilated like he was excited when he saw me. I'd taken my time and put a ton of effort into my appearance. I hated that I was preening like my mom did, but I wasn't going to be outdone at this party. I wore a short dress with a red lace bodice and three-quarter-length sleeves, a tight bright pink curve-hugging skirt and peplum, and nude heels. I figured if I was going to stand out as an outsider in this crowd, I might as well do it in vibrant color.

"You look hot." His eyes danced as he pulled me into his arms and kissed me, pressing me against his very hard crotch. And he seemed happy, almost euphoric. "Have I ever told you I love you urgently?"

"Urgently? That's new. Can love be urgent?" I smiled into his eyes.

"It is with me." His tone was sexy and low, totally serious as he ran his hands over the smooth knit fabric of my dress, caressing my ass.

How was it possible he could take my breath away with a phrase? I actually believed him. "I thought only passion could be urgent."

He grabbed my hips and pulled them into him. "That, too." He kissed my neck in a way that gave me goose bumps even though his breath was hot and his lips demanding.

"I'm allowed out of my room now, am I?"

"We aren't holding you prisoner."
 

I wiped my bright red lipstick off his mouth. "You could have fooled me." I paused, studying him. His mood was positively ebullient. Something didn't jibe—how could helping his mom all day out him in such a good mood? "I can do as I please?"

"Absolutely."

"In that case, let's just stay in."
 

"I wish." He looked genuinely sorry. "But Mom will find us and there will be hell to pay." He took my hand. "Let's not ruin this fantastic day. Come out and meet the gang."

"You mean face the firing squad."

He shook his head and laughed like nothing could bring his mood down. "We aren't
that
bad."
 

He led me to the living room and the rounds of introduction after introduction began as new arrivals came in an almost steady stream. Caleb was dressed nearly identically to Logan. They were so close in age and looks that they could have been mistaken for twins.
 

But Caleb relished the spotlight, exuding warmth, drawing the girls to him with his with the magnetic combination of his looks and confidence as if it was his due. He worked the crowd as easily and effectively as he read signals on the baseball diamond. He was the prince of the party, the celebrity of note holding court with baseball stories and smiles.
 

Logan stood by me, understated, lurking in his brother's shadow, apparently content and unbothered by Caleb's bragging as he greeted guests and made small talk and introductions. Something was going on with Logan. But I couldn't figure out what it was. It wasn't that Logan was less charming than his younger brother. It was more that he preferred to be understated.
 

My head swam with names and faces, and my smile felt frozen on my face as I answered polite questions and was quickly abandoned in favor of more familiar faces and better connections. This dinner was as much a networking opportunity as it was social.

Logan introduced me to girls he'd known his whole life. Two in particular—Zo, short for Zoe, and Lacie—watched me with curiosity even after they drifted off to become part of Caleb's court. And then Kelsie, Logan's friend from school, arrived with her parents, looking blond and beautiful and seeking Logan with her eyes from across the room.

My heart fell. Why hadn't Logan warned me she'd be here? He'd claimed they were nothing more than friends, but I didn't miss the hero worship in her eyes when she spotted him. She'd been friendly and helpful the day I'd nearly drowned at the cliffs, but my mom's motto stuck in my mind:
Never trust another woman around your man.

I should have listened to Mom's advice. I just hadn't thought she was talking about herself. I wouldn't make that mistake again.

Kelsie drifted over to us, flitting from greeting one person to another like a gorgeous blond butterfly until she reached us. "Logan!" She hugged him. "Quite the party."

"Mom's always are."

I held Logan's hand tighter, reminding him I was here and he was mine.
 

"You remember Ellie?" Logan said.

"How could I forget? It's good to see you again, Ellie. How are you enjoying life at our university?" Her tone was friendly, but it was obvious she was trying hard to make an effort and she couldn't keep her gaze from flitting back to Logan.