Rebel Soul: (Rebel Series Book 1) ((Rebel Series)) (12 page)

“I’ll think about it. I don’t even know if I’ll be allowed out of the house.”

“You will. Your dad didn’t seem too angry at breakfast this morning. Then again…” I opened my eyes to look at her. She was grinning mischievously at me. “He doesn’t know what’s brewing between you two,” she added with a wink.

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.” I grabbed a stack of freshly printed resumes and my phone. “Do you know if anyone is hiring?”

“You could try the grocery store and Tim Horton’s in town, but…” Elle shrugged. “It’ll be hard. It’s already summer time. They probably filled those job postings months ago.”

“Yeah.” I sighed. I really wanted to get a part-time job this summer, just to have some extra cash on hand come September.

We walked out of my room and down the old wooden stairs, flying out the front door like our feet were on fire. Dad was walking up the steps, and we came to an abrupt stop in front of him. He caught sight of the papers in my hand. “More resumes?”

“Yeah, there are some places in town that might be hiring,” I answered, holding them up for him to inspect. “I’m going to drop Elle off and then do a little job hunting if that’s okay?”

Dad looked between us, chewing on the toothpick in his mouth. Chewing on toothpicks was a habit he’d picked up after he quit smoking six years ago. “Alright,” he finally said.

“Could Tessa come with me to the chili cook-off tonight, Mr. Armstrong? Mom could use the extra hands.”

“I suppose that’d be fine.” Dad nodded once, the corner of his lip twitching with a repressed smile.

“See you in a bit,” I added, standing on my tippy toes to kiss his cheek.

“See you later. Say hi to your mama, Elle,” Dad said as we raced down the front steps towards my truck that Elle had parked haphazardly in the middle of everything, true to her unconcerned nature.

“I will!” she called over her shoulder. When we were buckled in and flying down the driveway, she turned to look at me with a devilish glint in her brown eyes. “So, that was easy. You basically have the whole day now.”

“Basically.” I bit my lip, thoughts of Brock rising to obscure thoughts of being responsible.

“Tell me more about this kiss,” she demanded as I turned onto the road. She had the passenger window all the way down and she’d discarded her sandals on the floor so her feet could half hang out the window. It always made me nervous when she did this, but complaining about it never made her stop.

“It was…I don’t know.” I sighed, a small smile tugging up the corners of my lips. “It was incredible. I felt it everywhere, in every nerve ending and in my bones. It was intense.”

Elle sighed too, a happy, blissful sigh. “That’s a kiss of true love,” she remarked, grinning at me.

“I never said that.” the smile vanished from my face. “I just said it was a really, really good kiss.”

“Uh-huh.” She smirked.

I narrowed my eyes at her. “It’s lust. He made me want more, and I want it, but I’m not in love with him. That’s stupid, Elle.”

“No it’s not,” she argued, still smiling. “When you find ‘the one’, it’s instantaneous.”

“Ugh.” I exhaled, puffing my lips out like a fish. Elle was exhausting me.

“There are only so many places you can drop your resume off in town…” she trailed off, not really changing the subject at all, and winked.

I pulled up in front of her house, promising that I’d call her later if I changed my mind about the midway. Then I set to the boring task of handing out my resumes. It was the same at every stop I made:
we’ve already hired our summer staff but I’ll put this at the top of the pile – just in case
.

I was never going to find a job at this rate; it was the curse of living in a small town.

I was on the highway, just before the exit I would need to take to get to Brock’s property. My hands gripped the steering wheel just a little too tightly. I was torn between what I desperately wanted to do and what I should do.

I made a split second decision to turn onto the off ramp that would take me to him. I drove up the road a little bit, pulling over to collect myself and organize my thoughts.

I wanted to go to him, to kiss him again. My body was practically vibrating with this need. But I shouldn’t go to him; I should stay away from him. I should listen to the rules in place. Brock was dangerous and he’d never be welcome in our home.

But a part of me didn’t care because I wanted him anyway.
He doesn’t have to come over for dinner.
I told myself, chewing on my lip and staring at the road ahead like it would give me the correct answer.

I wanted to get to know him, and that was dangerous; that was against
my
rules, newly placed. Daydreaming about falling in love and actually falling in love were two different things. Daydreaming was safe; it was an unattainable dream, a future goal. Daydreaming was an outlet, a way for me to pass the time. Falling in love was dangerous; it was the here and now, it was giving someone else complete control of my heart and I wasn’t sure I knew how to do that.

He unlocked things within me. Things that I wanted to explore. He made me feel sexy and powerful and I wanted to embrace it. I wanted to bask in all of those feelings and sensations he coaxed out of me with a simple glance. I wanted to be the woman I knew he saw when he looked at me.

Only I couldn’t promise myself that if I kept driving down this road, I wouldn’t end up falling in love with Brock Miller. I wasn’t prepared to do that, to fall in love, but thoughts of him occupied my waking moments and I felt like if I didn’t do this…the not knowing would consume me.

If I was being completely honest with myself, I was hesitating out of fear. The fear of rejection, the fear of losing something I didn’t even have. I played it safe because I was afraid of getting hurt.

But I was tired of playing it safe. I was tired of longing to feel something for someone, then running away at the first opportunity of that feeling growing into something more.

I had reached an impasse. Sighing, I shifted the truck from park to drive and took off down the road.

Brock

After tossing and turning the rest of the night away, my mind restlessly spinning with thoughts of her, I finally drifted off to sleep around five in the morning.

I woke up several hours later to the sound of a truck pulling into my driveway and brakes protesting. Hunter’s frantic bark was joined by someone pounding on my trailer door. I pulled on my jeans, crossing over from my bedroom to the door. I banged my head off the stupid light fixture, swearing lowly as I flung open the door.

Tessa Armstrong stood before me, looking sexy as sin in those tight jean shorts and that plaid, button up blouse. Her chest was rising and falling frantically, as if she’d run the entire way here. Her hair was still curly from the night before.

“Did you mean what you said last night?” she demanded. She didn’t wait for me to invite her in; she just walked past me, the skin of her arm brushing against my naked chest. The muscles in my abdomen clenched with desire at the contact and my dick was definitely awake and wanting to greet her.

“What?” In that moment, I couldn’t remember a goddamn thing I’d said the night before.

“All that stuff.” Tessa frowned, turning to face me. Her eyes dropped down to my unbuttoned jeans, seeing the rather large tent I’d pitched for her.

I cleared my throat. I should lie to her; I should send her away. I should tell her that I wasn’t interested in her. I should retract every word I said to her last night. “Yeah, I did, actually,” I said instead, as if my tongue wasn’t even linked to my mind. I ran a hand through my hair and turned away from her, but there wasn’t much space to move in this God forsaken trailer.

When I turned back to face her, Tessa was unbuttoning her shirt. All sensibility and rational thought fell out of my brain like a bucket tipping over. My eyes widened as I took in the sight of her lacy white bra, the dark of her nipples acutely visible beneath the lacy material. I swallowed hard, struggling to find words.

“Well, Brock Miller. Its morning, I’m sober and I can pretty much guarantee that you aren’t going to be something I regret,” she said, her voice dipping sensually. She reached out, her hands tugging my jeans down.  She cupped me through the thin material of my boxers.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Tessa,” I hissed, my eyes practically rolling into the back of my head. How the fuck was I supposed to resist her when she was cupping and stroking me, half naked, standing in my goddamn trailer?

I didn’t know what my problem was with Tessa. Yeah, I wanted her…more than anything. But I was resisting that urge to just take her in all the ways I wanted, because I wanted her in more ways than I’d ever wanted anyone else before.

That was it. That was the entire problem. I wanted to romance her, she deserved that. She deserved flowers and dates and magic, but she was practically begging for me to fuck her and I could still give her all that other shit she deserved, couldn’t I?

I couldn’t think when she was stroking me like that.

My lips crashed against hers fervently, my hands tangling in her hair, and I stopped fighting it. I embraced it; I lost myself in the taste and feel of her. I pressed my hardness against her belly, making her moan into my mouth. The sound of her whimpers of pleasure sent a jolt to my dick, and it jumped eagerly.

The door to my trailer was still open, and Hunter was whimpering under the table, the sudden increase of emotions confusing him.

“Give me a minute,” I told her, kissing those lips once more before I tugged my jeans back up over my hips and whistled for Hunter. He darted outside and I closed the door behind him, turning around to find her standing exactly where I’d left her, her blouse and her shorts discarded on the floor. Her thong matched her lacy bra, and I felt my balls constricting.

She was a goddamn vision.

“I don’t have much time,” she said, explaining her rush to undress. I nodded, coming at her at the same time she came at me. Our lips met again, our tongues dancing a heated tango that made me acutely aware I wouldn’t last long at all with her. I picked her up, my hands gripping her ass cheeks and grinding her against me. I walked her backwards, towards the end of the trailer where my bed was. I dropped her on it, taking a moment to admire her beautiful curves while I kicked off my jeans. I crawled back on top of her, leaving my boxers on, and went back to kissing those lips. I held myself up with my right arm, letting my free hand roam against the soft skin of her inner thigh. My fingers toyed with the lacy material of her panties, and I could feel her wetness through the barely there material.

“Fuck, Tessa,” I groaned, the desire to taste her, be inside her and just consume her made me feel light headed. It’d never been like this for me before. I wanted to take my time with her, to explore every inch of her body, to taste her and please her to the point of her own destruction. But I also wanted to feel her immediately, to take her ruthlessly and frantically. I gently pulled her panties away, my fingers sliding against her wet skin and sinking into her. She arched beneath me, her lashes fluttering closed. She bit her lip as I pleasured her with my fingers.

I was enthralled with watching her, captivated by the soft whimpers that fell from her lips. “I need to taste you,” I all but growled.

Tessa bit her lip harder, glancing at me while I positioned myself between her legs. “Um, what?”

“Um what, what?” I asked, my hands on her thighs.

She laughed nervously. “I’ve never…” She trailed off, her cheeks flushing. Now was not the time to demand to know who the fuck had been so stupid as to not lavish this remarkable body the way it was meant to be lavished.

I arched a brow instead, pulling her panties away, and took a tentative lick. She arched against me, her head dropping back against the mattress.

She tasted like salvation; her taste was the most sacramental thing to have ever passed my lips. I ate her like a starving man, like I hungered for her taste as much, if not more, than she hungered for the feel of my tongue against her clit. I was relentless, using tongue, lips and my fingers in time with one another to completely bring her over the edge, never stopping until I felt her hips buckle beneath me as she came undone.

“I need you in me, Brock,” she whispered breathlessly. “Do you have a condom?”

“Fuck,” I muttered, the mood suddenly halting when I realized that I did not have condoms on me, and the nearest store was a gas station ten goddamn minutes away. My dick throbbed painfully.

Tessa bit her lip, considering. “I’m on the pill,” she told me. Those four words were both a blessing and a curse. It was a subtle way of her saying
please, take me anyway
. The goddamn thought of being inside without a latex barrier had me nearly seeing stars.

But I wasn’t that kind of guy; I wasn’t one to play with a loaded gun. I wasn’t saying that I thought Tessa was lying about being on birth control, but that shit wasn’t foolproof.

She said nothing, but I know she sensed my hesitation. Instead, her hand reached through the slit in my boxers and she gripped me, pumping me slightly. “It’s alright, we’ll take care of you anyway,” she whispered, slowly crawling over me. She forced me to lie down on my back, and then she took me in her mouth.

Her mouth was the sweetest sin. The way she worked me, taking as much of me as she could while pumping my base with her hand had me falling apart, shattering into millions of pieces. I couldn’t think of anything outside of her; her lips, her mouth, and her body. It didn’t take me long at all to explode in her mouth. She drank it all back, milking me for everything that I had.

“Jesus,” I exhaled roughly, pulling her up on my chest. My heart was pounding frantically and my body was on a complete high.

“I never would have pegged you for a holy man,” she joked, smiling almost shyly at me.

“Yeah, well. That was before you. What the hell did you do to me? Where did you learn how to do that?” Tessa opened her mouth, about to reply. I brought my finger up to her lips, the jealous anger rising like a current.  “On second thought, don’t answer that question.”

I didn’t want to think about where she’d learned her skills, not that I was complaining; it was the best goddamn head I’d ever gotten.

I watched as she crawled off me, searching for her discarded shorts and top. “Where are you going?” I asked.

“I told you I didn’t have long,” she reminded me, sending me a playful smirk over her shoulder.

The sinking sensation in my stomach told me that I didn’t want to see her go. I stood up, crossing over to where she stood. I let her slip into her shorts again, and when she straightened, I kissed her. My hands framed her face, my lips and tongue coaxing a soft moan from her. I pulled away regretfully, keeping my hands on her face. “When can I see you again?”

“Soon,” she promised, biting her bottom lip. “But next time I come over, you’d better have condoms,” she added.

I pressed my hardness against her; yeah, I was primed and ready to go again. This girl was driving me wild. “That’s a promise,” I added, nipping her bottom lip gently.

* * *

I stood in front of my trailer, watching Tessa pull away. I watched until her truck disappeared into the trees, until I couldn’t hear the sound of her tires on the freshly laid gravel anymore.

My phone started to ring, and I fished it out of my back pocket. “Hello?” I said, not even bothering to read the caller ID.

“Hey, Brock. It’s Becky,” my sister’s voice came through the line, sounding exhausted and worn. “I have a tiny situation here…”

“What’s wrong?” I demanded.

“Nothing.” She sighed, the wariness evident in her voice. “My sitter bailed on me again, and I can’t get a hold of Braden. I really need someone to watch Aiden today so I can go to work. I can’t afford to miss any more time…”

I rubbed at my jaw with my fingertips, a heaviness pressing down on my chest. I wasn’t ready to face things back home yet, but Becky wouldn’t have asked if she wasn’t absolutely stuck. Becky vehemently hated asking for help, all the Millers did.

“I can watch him. I’ll be by soon,” I finally said, disconnecting the call.

I grabbed my keys and got into my truck, whistling for Hunter. He hopped up into the cab and we set off.

I drove along highway seven, trying not to think about what I was about to do: see my dying mother for the first time since she called me with the news, and meet my nephew for the first time since seeing him in that incubator all those years before.

Instead of focusing on those heavy thoughts, I allowed my mind to drift to Tessa.

I had it
bad
for that girl, and there was no way in hell her family would let me within five feet of her. The look on Bill Armstrong’s face last night when I simply dropped her off, spelled that out clear as day and he hadn’t even known what had transpired between us minutes earlier.

Treating her the way she deserved to be treated, romancing her and taking her out places, was going to be next to impossible. I couldn’t just pick her up for a date night on the town. 

My thoughts stalled when I pulled into the driveway of the small farmhouse I’d grown up in. Seeing it again was like a sucker punch to the heart.

The house was in disarray. The shutters were in desperate need of a coat of paint or two, and the roof needed new shingles. The yard was more weeds than grass and the gardens were overgrown. 

When I lived there, the gardens were always pretty and free of weeds, the grass was always cut and the shutters weren’t hanging on by a single hinge. The outward appearance of our house had been a façade, my mother’s attempt at disguising the ugly that resided within, my father.

Brent Miller had always been an asshole. I don’t know why my mother married him, or why she stayed. He was an abusive alcoholic and lazy. He couldn’t hold down a job to save his life, and my mom was often left to work double shifts at the water treatment plant just to afford the basic necessities. Brent didn’t lift a finger to help her and his idea of parenting was beating us into submission when my mom wasn’t there to stop it and direct his anger on her. Life carried on like that until I got big enough to fight back.

The day that Brent Miller drank himself stupid and drove his shitty car into the guardrail on a highway was the happiest day of my life. I know it’s cruel to say that about the man who fathered you, but it was the truth. For years I prayed that my mother would kick him out; that we could live without his ugly shadow looming over us. His death was a blessing. His death released us all from the miserable spell he’d had on us. Or so…I’d thought.