Rebel Soul: (Rebel Series Book 1) ((Rebel Series)) (13 page)

My mom was relieved too, although she wouldn’t admit it out loud. But with him gone, I was able to actually leave the house without fearing he’d take out his rage on one of my siblings. I was actually able to chase my dreams. I followed the rodeo and competed in bull rider competitions, sending any money I earned back home to my family. I did this for a year, and I loved my life on the road. I loved competing, I loved feeling the sense of purpose in sending those checks home and I loved the open road.

Then, shortly before I was supposed to compete in the Williams Lake Stampede in British Columbia, I got a phone call that changed my life.

My little brother was fifteen at the time. He was in hysterics. He told me that our seventeen-year-old sister, Becky, was in the hospital, in labor. The baby was coming early and I hadn’t even known that she was pregnant.  But it was far worse than that…it turned out that the father of Becky’s baby had beaten her so badly that the trauma was what caused the preterm labor.

I hopped on a plane and came home to find my sister sitting at the side of her preterm son’s incubator, praying he’d make it through another night. Her face was mangled, her right wrist was broken, and three of her ribs were bruised.

I’d never felt rage like that. That was a pivotal moment in my life; the turning point. I’d gone after the son-of-a-bitch that put my sister in the hospital and endangered not only her life, but the life of my tiny nephew. I found him at the shitty apartment he’d lived in with Becky, snorting coke on the coffee table beside a parenting magazine, of all things.

I snapped. I blacked out, and when I came to…I was standing over his body while he bled all over the carpet. Later, I would learn that I’d given him the same wounds he’d given my sister: a fractured cheek, bruised ribs and a broken wrist. I’d also broken his jaw for good measure.

I didn’t regret it. I knew I probably should, but I wouldn’t lie to myself and act like I did. In my eyes, it was justified. I guess in the judge’s eyes, it was too. He’d given me the lightest sentence possible and allowed me to get out early on good behavior.

I rolled up and parked in front of my mom’s old Civic and beside my sister’s little Accord. One of the tires on the Civic was flat, and I made a mental note to fill it before I left… before I realized that wasn’t necessary. Mom wasn’t driving her car anywhere these days.

I climbed out and held the door of my truck open, allowing my dog out of the cab. Hunter came everywhere with me, and had for the past two years. We’d rescued each other.

I’d only been in Alberta for a couple of months. My freedom was still new, but I’d traded jail for a different kind of isolation: a work camp. I worked insane hours and rarely got a day off. When I did, I always headed to the nearest town to do a little shopping at the general store. On one particular day, I stepped outside with my groceries and saw a group of local kids with a bat chasing a small pup. I dropped my bags and ran after them, getting to them just as one of the kids leveled a kick to the poor pup’s ribs as he trembled against the wall between two garbage bins. 

I managed to scare them off, and warily crossed over to him. He was still trembling, his yellow eyes fixed on me with apprehension and hope. His fur was matted with mud and slush, and when I picked him up in my arms, I could feel that his ribs were protruding. He was starving, freezing, and terrified.

I took him to the local vet and was told that he was likely a little over a year old, and from the looks of it, he was a German shepherd wolf mix with some Husky. Once the mud was washed away from his beautiful agouti coat, his wolf traits were more noticeable and the vet insisted I put him down, expressly detailing all of the risks of owning a hybrid.

I couldn’t do that. The way I saw it, all dogs could be dangerous without proper training and this poor little pup hadn’t lashed out once, when cornered by a group of kids that were clearly trying to hurt him. He’d have sooner rolled over and taken a bat to the head than hurt any of them. I told the vet as much, and one hefty bill later, he was mine.

I wasn’t ignorant regarding Hunter’s breed though, and I started working with him immediately. He was an intelligent, loyal pup that was eager to learn and eager to please. Within a month, I had him completely trained. His training didn’t stop there and it still continued on to this day. A happy dog is an active dog, and Hunter was happiest when he was being challenged. 

Hunter’s thick head nudged my hand, as if he was thinking about the past too. I patted him once and then started walking up the gravel driveway. The porch felt soft beneath my boots, and I added that to my mental list of things to fix around here. I lifted my hand, about to knock. Before it made contact, the old door flew open. My sister, Becky, stood in the doorway with her hand on her hip, her crystal blue eyes boring a hole into me.

“I can’t believe you didn’t stop in here sooner,” she huffed at me, crossing her arms and frowning deeply.

“Sorry, Becs.” I sighed, swallowing hard. “How is she?”

Becky’s gaze softened considerably. “She is as good as can be expected. Did you want to come in and say hi?”

I nodded and Becky opened the door completely, stepping back to allow me in. Hunter trailed behind me obediently.

“Does it bite?” she asked warily. “Because I can’t have it in here if it bites. Or if it doesn’t like kids…”

“He won’t leave my side, but Hunter is great with kids,” I assured her. She nodded, accepting my answer. “Where is Aiden?” I asked, peering around the living room for my nephew.

“He’s playing in his room,” Becky replied. She brushed back a strand of her dark hair, repressing a sigh. “I really appreciate you doing this for me today. I can’t believe Ashlynn bailed on me again. That’s the third time this week.”

“Don’t mention it,” I told her sincerely. “I’ve been meaning to get out here anyway and spend some time with the little guy. I just had to get set up on the property first.”

Becky smiled tightly and nodded. She paused by the doorway to our parents’ room, gently opening it. My chest constricted as I looked in at my mother’s frail body, lost in the queen sized bed. She was skin and bones, her lids closed and fluttering against her cheeks. Her once lusciously dark hair seemed faded and wiry against her pillow.

“She’s sleeping,” Becky said, her voice full of apology as she gently closed the door. “She needs to rest, but when she wakes up…she’ll want to see you. She’s been asking about you a lot lately. I think she’s been hanging on to see you.”

I nodded, my throat tight with emotion. Becky hesitated for a moment before her slender hand reached out to grasp mine. She squeezed tightly before dropping it, gesturing down the hallway.

She led me down the hall to Aiden’s room, my old room. The door was open and my little nephew was sitting on the car area rug in front of his bed, pushing a bunch of Hot Wheels around. He heard us in the hallway and looked up, his crystal blue eyes, so much like his mother’s, staring at me blankly.

One of my biggest regrets was not being around enough for Aiden to know who I was. Becky talked about me often, and I’d seen pictures of him and I was sure he had seen pictures of me too, but this was the first time I’d seen him since his early birth.

“Aiden, you remember your uncle Brock, don’t you? He’s going to hang out with you today,” Becky said, crouching down so she was nearly level with him. Aiden nodded solemnly, looking from his mother to me. “You be good for uncle Brock, okay buddy? I’ll be home after dinner, just in time to tuck you in,” she added, hugging him goodbye. Aiden wrapped his arms around her and nestled his little head into the crook of her neck.

“Bye-bye Mom,” he said sadly. Becky smiled at him and ran a hand through his dark hair before she stood up. She gestured to me to follow her out into the hall.

“Beth-Anne will be here in about an hour or so to take care of mom for the day, so you won’t have to do much for her. Just…keep an ear out and check in on her every now and then. He’ll have a peanut butter sandwich for lunch and there’s a twenty on the refrigerator if you want to order pizza for dinner. There’s a park down the street if you’re bored and need to leave the house once Beth-Anne gets here and…”

“Becky, we’ll be fine. I’m capable of taking care of other people, in case you’ve forgotten,” I interrupted gently.

When Mom was working and Dad was passed out on the couch, it was me who took care of my younger siblings. I made sure they ate dinner, did their homework, took baths and got to bed on time. It was a lot of responsibility when I was just a kid myself, but I’d done it because I knew our old man wouldn’t.

Becky’s shoulders relaxed and she smiled at me. “Okay good,” she said, walking down the hallway and grabbing her purse from a kitchen chair. I followed her, leaning against the wall as she slipped her work shoes on.

“Would you mind if I took him to the rodeo today?” I asked.

Becky’s head snapped up at my question, surprise lining her features. “You’d want to take him to the rodeo?”

“Yeah, why not?” I shrugged, suddenly doubting my idea.

Becky chewed on her lip, considering me. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” She frowned, her gaze drifting down the hallway toward where Aiden was playing. “What if he gets lost?”

“He won’t get lost; I’ll make sure of it.”

“Okay…yeah. Yeah that’d be great,” she said, smiling. “I’ll grab the car seat.”

* * *

Waiting for the hospice nurse, Beth-Anne, was difficult. As soon as Becky pulled out of the driveway, I felt the walls of our childhood home closing in, suffocating me. Seeing her once was like a bullet to the heart. I knew it was the medication, the pain killers she took, but seeing her like that only added to my internal panic. Hunter sensed this, and leaned his body against mine while he happily accepted a thousand pets and hugs from Aiden.

I’d put on a movie, turning the volume up just enough so that I’d be able to hear any sounds coming from down the hall. Part of me felt like I should go check on her to see if she was awake. The other part cautioned against this. I didn’t need to fall to pieces right now, not when I was responsible for Aiden. Not when I’d already promised him a fun day at the rodeo.

Besides, I couldn’t walk down the hall into her bedroom. I couldn’t see her like that again, bed ridden and dying. I knew that made me a terrible son, but I just wasn’t strong enough. Not yet. I couldn’t watch her sleep, knowing that she’d soon be taking her last breath.

My mother had endured so much in her life, and I didn’t forgive her for some of it, like our dad. I resented her for not leaving him when we were kids. I don’t think she understood the gravity that simple action of staying had on us, on her kids. Not until Becky was in an abusive relationship herself, not until Becky had almost lost her unborn child.

Instead of remaining apart, struggling with the individual burdens of our own lives, we came together for the first time ever as a united front. We stopped pushing each other away. I had their unwavering support when I went to jail. Mom did everything she could to afford a decent lawyer and get me a lighter sentence. Becky moved back home, and Mom and Braden helped her as best as they could with Aiden while I was behind bars. The second I got out, I took the highest paying job I could find that would lighten their financial burdens.

About three months ago, Mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It was too late for treatment and she’d opted out anyway. Now, according to Becky…she slept away most of her time, too exhausted to open her eyes. She was fading fast, and it was obvious that she didn’t have much time left.

And I had a lifetime of things to say to her.

Hunter’s bark alerted me to the black SUV pulling into the driveway, parking where Becky’s car had been. I silenced him by lifting my hand and he sat down, waiting.

A jovial looking middle-aged woman pushed open the front door and strode inside. She was carrying a large paper bag with what looked like medical supplies. She paused when she saw Aiden and me sitting in the living room, her friendly face breaking out into a wide grin. “Hi there, I’m Beth-Anne. You must be Brock!” she said, approaching me with purpose and thrusting her free hand at me.

“Yes, ma’am. I am,” I responded automatically, shaking her hand. “Can I help you with your bags?”

“These? Nah,” Beth-Anne said, placing them on the dining room table. “Good afternoon, Aiden.” Her voice was warm and affectionate and Aiden’s solemn little face broke into a grin just as big as Beth-Anne’s.

“Guess what! I’m going to the rodeo!” he declared with wide eyes.

“That’s exciting! Is your uncle taking you?” Beth-Anne asked, keeping her eyes focused on him.

“Yup! Uncle Brock. I just met him today, but I like him. He has a dog and his dog is nice!” Aiden said, my heart warming at the seal of approval.

Beth-Anne’s gaze went down to the dog at my heels and her smile wavered a little. “Is he now?”

“Don’t worry; Hunter is friendly.”

“He looks like a wolf,” she commented, eying Hunter distrustfully. I chose not to respond. “Are you taking the dog with you to the rodeo?”

“No,” I responded, knowing that it would be chaotic enough keeping track of my nephew. “I’m going to drop him off at my place before we go.”

She nodded, her shoulders easing at my answer. “Well, have fun! Try to win me a prize, okay Aiden?”