Reasons I Fell for the Funny Fat Friend (16 page)

She’s laughin’ now, but still cryin’. I know I’m pushing my boundaries when I clasp her wrist and guide her onto my chest. She goes, but hesitantly.

“I’m sorry you have to deal with this crap.”
So eloquent, Brody.
“For the record, I don’t think you need to see a health specialist. I don’t think you need to cha
nge anythin’ about you. You’re…
you’re perfect.”

She traces the design on my shirt, not sayin’ anythin’.

“And… uh…” I gulp. “T
hanks.”

She looks up at me. “For what?”

“Trustin’ me enough to tell me all of that.”

Her face goes back into my armpit. “Can I ask you a silly question?”

I let out a breathless chuckle. “Sure.”

“You don’t mind touching me?”

Man
, I want to touch her more. “That
is
a silly question,” I say
,
squeezing her. “I feel like I’m tryin’ to grope you every time we’re together.”

We laugh together, her head jiggling around on my stomach.

“Why would you think I minded?”

“Well, ‘cause I’m probably, uh, squishier than most girls.”

Darn girl
.

“You know, whenever you let me touch you, even when it’s just
like this, laying on my chest
, you make me feel like I’ve won some sort of prize. You need to stop bein’ so self-conscious, Hayles. I
love
touchin’ you.”

She shrugs out of my grasp, and I get real confused for a second, ‘cause I thought I nailed that one. Then she leaps on top of me, straddling me and hugging me around my neck.

Holy hell, this is happenin’! I knew I nailed it!

I wrap my hands around her waist, pulling her closer to me. We’re both laughin’
,
and I’m not sure why. Her laugh just makes me laugh.

We sit there for a while, talkin’ and she keeps herself planted on my lap. My legs are fallin’ asleep, and I’m not al
l that comfortable, but who
cares? She asks where my parents are
,
and I tell her the embarrassing display I was witness to. She laughs and tells me she likes my parents already. Like she’s plannin’ on meetin’ them someday. Someday soon. I like that. Makes things between us seem more real. She’s startin’ to get it.

The dryer buzzes
,
and that’s when I stumble off the couch to get her clothes. I’m stompin’ my feet a little harder than I normally do to get rid of the pins and needles in my legs.

I hand Hayley her clothes
,
and she hesitates. “Can I change in your room?” Her face is bloodshot.

“Sure.” She can today, since it’s clean
. I lead her downstairs,
then give her privacy after she makes fun of the swimsuit calendar I have on the wall. I’m puttin’ the mugs in the sink when she comes back upstairs.

“I should probably head back home.” She smiles, but it doesn’t go up to her eyes. Yeah, I don’t want her to leave either.

“I’ll give you a ride.”

There’s some kind of awkward tension in the air as I grab the keys and open the door. She pauses in the doorstep, back towards me.

“You okay?”

She nods and turns around, pushin’ her eyes up to meet mine. “Do you… I mean, you don’t think I’m too f—”

“If you say the word ‘fat’ one more time I’m going to knock you upside the head.” I lean against the doorknob, watchin’ the rain fall behind her. “You gotta stop believin’ your mom. She’s wrong. And if she’s too embarrassed by you, then she’s not worth pleasin’. You’re her daughter. That should be good enough.” I pause to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. I’m not afraid to touch her anymore. “You
are
good enough. At least I think so.”

She smiles her Hayley smile. Then she glances over her shoulder at the pourin’ rain. I really don’t want her to go, but if she thinks her mom’s going to be home, I don’t want to get her in trouble either.

Her head whips back around, scaring me a little. The smile is still on her face, but she looks kind of nervous. And when she says somethin’, I know why.

“Kiss me.”

Reason 22
:
You smile when you kiss

Wait. What did she just say? “Huh?”

“I want you to kiss me now.” Her lips pull up into that amazing smile
,
and she lets out a nervous giggle.

“You… you sure?”

She nods and takes a step closer. I can’t believe she’s sayin’ this to me now. After all that stuff with her mom and after the whole, ‘I want my first kiss to mean something’, I didn’t think she’d be ready for it… now. I mean, thought I’d have to wait at least a couple of days.

I gulp and close the distance between us. Man, I hope I do this right. Don’t want to make her first kiss too slobbery or awkward or anythin’ that’ll disappoint her. She deserves to have a kiss that’ll make her want more. A kiss that’ll tell her exactly how I feel about her.

Cupping her face between my hands, I gauge her eyes before I go in farther. She closes them and lets out a small puff of air I can taste. Her mint chocolate smell makes me close my eyes too, and I pull her closer, noses touching, breath mixing.

“Um, Brody?”

The air rushes out of my lips
,
which are centimeters away from hers. “Yeah?”

“Can you like, not use your tongue?”

Can’t help the chuckle that rumbles through my throat. “What?”

We both open our eyes, but I keep her face close.

“It’s just, I already don’t know what the crap I’m doing
,
and if you stick your tongue in my mouth, I really don’t know how I’m going to… like, I don’t know how that all works
,
so if you could keep it to yourself this first time around—”

“Hayles,” I interrupt. Darn girl is going a million miles a minute. “I won’t use my tongue, I promise.”

She sighs, her breath smacking me in the face again. “Okay, sorry.” She smiles. “Continue.”

I’m about to, taking my time again to relish the fact I’m freakin’ going to kiss my girl, noses touching again, hands on her soft cheeks…

“Brody?”

I sigh, but it sort-of comes out like a growl. “Yeah?”

“Sorry,” she says, pulling back. Wait, did she change her mind? No, she’s smiling and kind of giggling. “So, like, what if I’m bad at this?”

“What?”

“You’ll tell me if I’m bad at the whole kissing thing, right?” She reaches up and rubs her temples, closing her eyes tight. “Or at least you won’t judge me too harshly for not knowing where to put my hands or how to move my lips or anything.”

“Hayles,” I say, pulling her back toward me, “don’t over-think this, ‘kay?”

She takes a deep breath, grabs my hands and sticks them back on her cheeks. “Okay, sorry.” Her eyes close. “Give it to me.”

I chuckle, shaking my head. Girl is so amazing. How did I end up bein’ the lucky first guy to give her this moment? I’m still smiling as our lips barely touch.

“Um…”

Ugh
! This girl!

“What is it now?”

“Did I… gosh, did I put too much pressure on you?”

“What?”

“‘Cause I didn’t mean to. You’re not worried about it, are you? Like, this is what you wanna do, right? You still
want
to give me my first kiss? Or am I just pressuring you into it? Or is there too much pressure now to make it perfect, ‘cause Brody
, it doesn’t have to
be.
I want it to be you ‘cause you’re friggin’ fantabulous and I like you so much and I didn’t mean to, like fall so hard for you. It just happened and now I have no idea how this is supposed to go and if you even feel the same way you felt last week when you told me you were, like falling for me too or if you just feel bad ‘cause of my mom and all that junk. I mean, you haven’t even given me any reasons yet and I’m not sure if it’s ‘cause you couldn’t think of them or if you were just trying to be nice or—”

“Hayles!”

She stops her blabbering, snapping her lips tight together and getting a little flushed. I’m smiling so she is too, but
this
girl needs to put on her perception glasses.

I take a deep breath, wrap one arm around her waist so she doesn’t go anywhere again, and brush her hair back with the other.

“Give me five numbers between one and twenty.”

“What?”

“Just do it.”

She cocks her head and lets out a tiny laugh
. “Okay, one, three, eight, fourteen, and, um, fif
teen.”

Okay…

“Reason one…” I smile. “
You know how to sign the word
balls
.”

Her mouth splits open, letting out a beautiful laugh.

“Reason three. You know how to make awkward, less awkward.”

She cocks her head to the side. “How do I—”

“Reason eight.”
I’m cuttin’ her off before she has any other chance to get away from me. “You slaughter me at Ghost Recon.”

Another laugh. And she’s gettin’ closer to me. Her lips are almost against mine.

“Reason fif
teen
.” I pull her shirt down a little to touch her shoulder blade. I feel her skin rise with goose bumps as I trail my finger tip across her tattoo. “That’s a sexy tatt. And you know it.”

She lets out another puff of a
ir I can taste. “You missed four
teen.”

Her smile is so huge and so beautiful, I want to push my lips against hers now, but I give her the last one. She needs to hear it, no matter how cheesy it comes out.

“Reason four
teen
.” I press my forehead against hers, locking her in my gaze. “You are so beautiful. Inside and out. I don’t just need you. I
crave
you. Everything about you. You are the only person I’ve felt this way about. You’re my best friend.”

She lets out a small laugh, then runs her tongue across her bottom lip. “Brody?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m in trouble.”

I chuckle. Her nose is touching mine again.

“Why is that?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you.”

Holy hell. She beat me to it.

“I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you, too.”

She smiles and tugs the sides of my shirt to pull me in. I don’t need the hint though. I’ve been waiting for this moment for what seems like forever.

I make sure the first touch is soft, in case she wants to pull back, but when she doesn’t, I lean into it so the kiss is harder. She’s gotta know just how much I’m falling in love with her.

Better be careful though. I know she said no tongue
,
and I’m trying real hard not to taste her, even just a little bit. But I want to. I want to open my mouth to let her in. I want her to open hers to let
me
in. But I have to make this perfect for her. Exactly what she wants, and what she needs it to be.

She’s still smiling, even though our lips are pressed tight. It’s so awesome ‘cause it’s still Hayles. Even her kiss is full of life and just… awesomesauce.

Her hands haven’t moved from my shirt, but they keep tuggin’ on it, like she wants me closer. I can’t get any closer than I already am. Bodies together, one hand cupping her face, the other… oh, I’m pulling her waist closer to mine too.

She starts to giggle a little bit through the kiss, her mouth opening enough for me to taste her, but I hold back. I’m not going to ruin her first kiss by doing what she told me not to. Don’t even care that she’s laughin’ during this. It’s just Hayles. Who she is, and it’s perfect.

Then the tip of her tongue touches my bottom lip. Did I imagine that? Oh no, I didn’t, ‘cause she does it again. And again.

Dammit, what is this girl doin’ to me?!

I open my mouth and meet her tong
ue with mine this time. Who
cares if she pulls away. I’m blamin’ her for starting it.

She doesn’t. Sh
e… she moans.
Her hands slither up my chest and wrap around my neck, pulling me closer into her mouth.

Yeah, there’s no way this kiss is ending. I can’t get enough of her now that I have her. My hands move her waist so I can shut the door. I don’t break the kiss—never going to if I can help it—and then I trap her against the wood.

She’s smiling again. Still kissing me and smiling. And I’m taking every opportunity I can to keep tasting her. To feel her hands move around the back of my neck. To feel the skin on her waist as I lift her shirt and touch her pant line. She
is
soft. Beautiful and soft.

She’s the first to break away, catching her breath and freezing in the position I have her in. I’m leaning toward her, using the door to keep me stable. I’m pretty sure I’m about to faint.

“Friggin’ f-bombs of glory.”

I laugh. It comes out all breathless and junk. “Is that a good thing?”

She opens her eyes, flicking them up to meet mine.

“Can I have another one?”

C
huckling again. Right before I
give her what she wants. S
he can ask me that anytime
,
and I’ll give it to her. That was the best kiss I’ve ever had.

I keep her against the door, but she’s moved her hands to the bottom of my shirt. She’s hesitant in her actions, but I’m not sure if it’s ‘cause I’m distracting her with my mouth or not. Then her fingertips are grazing the skin by my bellybutton
,
and I let out an involuntary groan, breaking away from her lips and moving to her neck.

“Is… is this okay?” she asks, trailing her fingers across the lines on my stomach.

Hell yeah, that’s okay.

“Uh huh,” I breathe against her collar bone.

She keeps playing with my skin, moving to my sides and giving me goose bumps and doing other things to me I never thought I could feel with someone. There’s some crazy stuff goin’ on in my chest.

I press my lips against hers again, trying to keep my hands near her face ‘cause if she keeps touching the skin underneath my shirt, I don’t know what’s going to stop me from doing the same to her. But I’m pretty sure since it took her so long to let me kiss her, this isn’t going any further than…

Wait. Is she…? Yeah, she’s trying to get my shirt off.

I pull back and gauge her eyes. She’s smiling, blush in he
r cheeks and a look that asks, ‘
Is
this
okay?’

The biggest grin plants itself on my lips and I reach back, grab the neck of my shirt, and tug it over my head.

I’ve never been this naked with a girl before. I’m not self-conscious or anythin’
,
but it is different. Not weird. I’m definitely all right with Hayles seein’ this much of me.

“Wowza.”

Okay, now I’m a little embarrassed. “Is
that
a good thing?”

She put
s
her hands on my chest and her face goes from pink to red. “Why in the heck does someone like
you
want someone like
me
?”

She’s crazy. I just told her she’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever met
,
and she still looks at herself like she’s butt ugly or somethin’.

“Hayles—”

“Did I ever tell you I
love
it when you call me that?” Her eyes move from my chest to my face. “I’ve never had a nickname before.”

I let out a breath through my nostrils, taking one of her hands in mine. “Hayles, you are gorgeous, all right. No more of
this stuff about you
being anythin’ less than that.”

She grins like she doesn’t believe me, but she’s not going to argue. I roll my eyes before I give her another long kiss. She’s moved her hands back around my neck, giving me opportunity to play with the skin on her stomach.

“Is this okay?” I ask between kisses.

She hesitates, long enough for me to worry about what’s going through her head, but then she nods. “Yes, but… I’m not, I mean, I’m sorry I’m not as skinny… you deserve someone who—”

“I want
you
.” Because I do. I want everything with her. And I didn’t expect our first kiss leading to this. I’m not sure if she did either, but I’m not going to stop until she tells me to stop. I love her. And I want to have one of my firsts with her too.

Taking the bottom of her shirt I slowly lift up. She’s not telling me to stop, not even with her eyes. I can tell she’s worried about what I’ll see underneath, but she won’t stop me.

So I’m not going to stop.

And holy hell. I’m glad I didn’t.

Bra and jeans are the best look for this girl.
Her curves, her breasts, her hips…
I hold her body close to mine, skin on skin, and kiss her again. I don’t stay at her mouth, though. I trace every inch of her neck, her collar bone, her cleavage, her stomach, her sides, even gliding my tongue across her skin to taste every bit of her.
Because I
have
to. She’s so gorgeous, this girl. She’s letting me look, touch…