Reason to Breathe (31 page)

“So, what’s with mom?” Jared asked when Evan
was taking his shot. Evan waited until he knocked the nine ball
into the corner pocket before he answered.

“You mean downstairs when we got here?” Evan
confirmed.

“Yeah, that was strange,” Jared noted.

“Um, actually, I didn’t get to tell you this
either, Emma.” I raised my eyebrows when he looked over toward me.
“I told you that Emma went to the Jacobs’ with us for dinner last
weekend, right?”

“Yeah, and I am so sorry you had to suffer
through that,” Jared empathized. I grinned in acknowledgement, too
anxious to hear what Evan had to share to say anything.

“Well, it turns out quiet Dr. Eckel likes to
gossip,” he looked at me with a grin. My eyes widened, catching on.
“Emma was sitting next to Dr. Eckel, and I guess he overheard
Catherine’s…”

“Pathetic charm,” I interjected. Evan smiled
at my choice of words.

“Sara you know about this, right?” Evan
assumed. She nodded, trying to suppress a smile that drew color
along Evan’s neck. “Anyway, he also heard Emma’s not so subtle
reactions to some of the things she said.”

“Noticed that, huh?” My face instantly felt
warmer.

“I think half the table noticed, but only he
knew what it was about since everyone else was talking. So, when we
made our escape, he
happened
to be on his way to the
restroom and witnessed your gracious exit.”

“No way,” I breathed, my mouth open.

“Don’t worry; he thought it was pretty funny.
He and my mother survive these dinners on gossip, so he told her
what happened. My mother can’t stand the Jacobs, including
Catherine, and was impressed by how you subtly put her in her
place.”

“She’s impressed with me because I laughed at
Catherine Jacobs? That was not very subtle,” I stated,
dumbfounded.

“Well, you don’t know Catherine. She’s
probably still trying to figure out why you were laughing at her,”
he said with a quick laugh. “But my mother thinks you showed a lot
of restraint, considering.” His mother must have misinterpreted my
rudeness for something even I didn’t understand.

“Huh,” Jared mused, before taking his
shot.

“Are you two going skiing this weekend?” I
blurted in order to change the subject.

“Yeah, what are we doing this weekend?” Jared
asked, directing his attention to Evan. “I want to get the
snowboards out. We can go up Saturday and stay the night.”

“Don’t we have plans Sunday?” Evan turned to
me for the answer.

“We could go out Friday instead,” Sara
quickly threw in. I almost forgot she was behind me, she’d been so
quiet. “Em, you can say you and I have to work on the Journalism
assignment together. You can lie and tell them it’s due Monday, and
since I won’t be around for the rest of the weekend, Friday is the
only day available. Then we can all go out to a movie or something.
Jared, you’re welcome to come too if you want.”

“You’re good with the lying to the parents’
stories, huh?” Jared observed, sounding impressed.

“I’ve had four years of practice,” she
admitted, making me laugh.

“Sure, we can go out Friday,” Evan responded
tentatively, looking to me for approval. I nodded in agreement.

“That sounds good to me,” Jared
confirmed.

“Wait, what about Jason?” Evan asked,
realizing that he was missing from the plan.

“Yeah, well, we won’t be seeing much of Jason
anymore,” she confessed.

“What happened?” Evan countered.

“Um, he was just so… quiet,” she said with a
smile. I knew what she really meant and let out a quick laugh.

“He was really nice,” she backtracked, “but I
need a little more… spontaneity.” She smirked at me.

“Huh, I’m sorry to hear that it didn’t work
out,” Evan offered.

“Thanks,” she replied, uncomfortable with the
condolence.

We played a few games of pool and a couple
rounds of darts before I realized that I needed to leave, so I
could be home before George.

“I’ll be right back,” Evan told Jared,
grabbing his coat.

“Oh, I’ll drive Emma,” Sara told Evan. Evan
stopped with one arm in his sleeve and looked at me, questioning
Sara’s offer. I shrugged.

“Okay,” he said reluctantly. “Then I’ll see
you Friday.”

“I’ll call you to confirm the time,” Sara
replied. “It was great to meet you Jared.” I lingered, not sure if
Evan was going to walk us down. Sara noticed my hesitation and
grabbed my hand to drag me down the stairs.

“Bye.” I waved before I disappeared.

“You are so full of shit,” Sara accused when
we pulled out of the driveway. My jaw dropped. “If there was any
more sexual tension in that room…”

“What?” I interrupted with a laugh. “You are
definitely seeing things that aren’t there.”

“Am I?”

I couldn’t straighten the smile from my
lips.

“Yeah, I didn’t think so,” she concluded from
my lack of defense. “Emma, just be careful, okay?”

“I don’t understand you,” I confronted. “You
keep saying how cute we are together and antagonizing me with
questions about whether he’s kissed me – and now that… well, you’re
not reacting the way I thought you would.”

“I was stupid for teasing you about kissing
him. I’m sorry,” she admitted. “But now that I see your new
friendship
, I’m really afraid for you. If you can’t hide it
around me, then Carol is going to destroy you if she picks up on
it.”

“Don’t worry, Sara, nothing’s going to
happen.”

I didn’t have to sit on the steps very long
before George arrived home. It was easy to ask him if I could stay
over Sara’s on Friday without Carol around. He agreed to the plan,
reminding me I had to be home first thing on Saturday to do my
chores. He had to work for a few hours on Saturday, so he warned me
not to upset Carol while I was home alone with her. I promised,
knowing that just breathing upset Carol, and there wasn’t anything
I could do about that.

I survived Thanksgiving at Janet’s by not
existing. I blended into the background as best as I could. When it
came to cleaning up, Carol glowered at me in expectation of making
myself useful, but Janet wouldn’t hear of it. Carol did everything
she could to keep from blowing up, so I stayed out of her way in
the living room, coloring with the kids while they watched the
first Christmas movie of the season.

I drove home with George while Carol and the
kids spent more time with her sister and her two daughters who were
visiting from Georgia.

~~~~~

Sara picked me up in the morning so that we’d
have the day together before we went to the movies. She wanted to
go to the mall, but I begged her not to make me suffer through
watching her try on a million pieces of clothes on the busiest
shopping day of the year. She conceded to my pleading but still had
to get a couple of things done before we went to lunch.

We stopped by a jeweler, so Sara could buy
new earrings, then the seamstress, to pick up new clothes Sara had
tailor fitted, and finally Sara splurged on pedicures for the two
of us. It was Sara’s idea of the perfect girl day, minus the
clothes shopping. I was just along for the ride, getting a glimpse
of what it was like to be Sara McKinley.

We walked quickly to the house in the cold
with flip flops on our freshly pedi-ed feet. Anna admired my light
pink toes and Sara’s contrasting hot red while we sat and chatted
on the couch. She was preparing a list of recipients for Christmas
cards, so she could send them out the next week. I watched as Sara
and her mom discussed their family and laughed about her dad’s
side. I smiled at their connection, feeling like I was looking
through the windows of the ideal family. It also ached at the same
time, knowing how frigid it was on this side of the window.

“What time are the boys meeting you?” Anna
asked.

“We’re going to an early show at six and then
probably getting something to eat. We’ll come back here and hang
out after,” Sara informed her mom, and me as well. This was the
first time I was hearing our plans.

“Sounds great,” Anna replied.

“Let’s go figure out what I’m going to do
with you,” Sara said, pulling me off the couch.

I sat on her bed as she sorted through her
closet.

“Sara,” I called nervously. My tone made her
stop what she was doing and step out of the closet so that I had
her attention. “I don’t think I can afford dinner and a movie. I’ve
stashed some money, but not enough to do both.”

I hated having to admit when I couldn’t
afford to do the things she had in mind for us. And she knew I
hated when she offered to pay for things. It was hard enough
borrowing her clothes; forget about having her extend her wallet to
entertain me.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said
nonchalantly. “I have movie passes that I have to use, so you can
save your money for food. The passes include drinks and popcorn, so
it’ll work out. I actually have four, so the guys will use them
too. Honestly, Em, they’ll probably want to pay for dinner, feeling
bad that I’m supplying the movies.”

“Are you sure?”

“Definitely,” she confirmed dismissively. “I
have the passes, so we might as well use them.” She ducked back
into the closet, continuing her search.

“Do you have any more pink sweaters?” I
yelled to Sara when I heard her groaning in frustration through the
open door.

“No more pink sweaters for you,” she hollered
in return. Then she poked her head out and said, “I should make you
go in sweats actually.” I scowled at her.

“But you know I couldn’t do that. I love
dressing you up too much,” she said with a smile. “Oh, I have it. I
have this black shirt that will look amazing with dark jeans and
wedged heels.” She revealed a scooping black top that looked like
it was too small.

“No heels,” I protested.

“Uh, that’s not going to work,” she groaned.
“Wait - what about boots. They have a thicker heel, so they won’t
be so hard to walk in.” I shrugged in defeat. “Then I’ll pull your
hair back in a curly ponytail and you’ll be adorable – to go to the
movies with your
friends
.” I picked up on the sarcasm and
stuck my tongue out at her.

My hair bounced in the ponytail as I
descended the stairs with Sara. She had her long locks in a high
ponytail as well and wore a sapphire blouse that showed off her
eyes. She looked like she was going on a date, despite the supposed
casualness of the evening.

I met Evan’s eyes and grinned back when he
came into view at the bottom of the stairs.

“Don’t you two look nice,” Carl observed from
the sitting room.

“Thanks, Dad,” Sara said, giving him a peck
on the cheek and grabbing our jackets. “We’ll be back later.”

Jared’s silver Volvo waited for us in the
driveway. Jared opened the passenger side door for Sara. She was
heading toward the back door with me when the gesture caught her by
surprise.

“Oh, thanks,” she said, slipping onto the
passenger seat.

Evan opened the back door for me, before he
went around to the other side and slid in next to me. He had my
hand in his before we even left the driveway. My lips curled up at
the warmth of his touch. As we drove, the proximity of our bodies
gradually became closer until the sides of our jeans were gently
touching. I couldn’t say that either of us moved intentionally, but
there was a gravity that drew us together. My heart murmured in
content.

In attempt to make up for her silence at
Evan’s the other day, Sara did most of the talking, with Jared
being her main audience - although she kept turning around to
include us. I knew she was doing it to prevent us from doing
anything in the dark of the backseat. Jared was an endearing captor
to Sara’s charm. He laughed at the right time and commented
intelligibly – I was relieved he was with us instead of Jason.

“No more pink sweaters?” Evan whispered while
Sara discussed one of her favorite restaurants in New York, which
coincidentally was one of Jared’s as well.

“I’ve been banned,” I whispered in return,
nodding toward Sara. He looked from Sara back to me with his
eyebrows pulled together. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay.” He shrugged.

“But you still look great,” he whispered
leaning in so that his breath tickled my ear. He lingered for a
second. I knew all I had to do was turn my head, and he would be
right there. I took an even breath, allowing it to swirl in my head
before slowly turning to meet him.

“Does that sound good to you?” Sara turned
toward us. I quickly faced her, and Evan sat back against his seat.
She shot me an accusing look.

“Sorry, what did you say?” I asked. Evan gave
my hand a tight squeeze in frustration.

“For dinner,” she emphasized, “is Italian
okay?”

“Sure,” Evan agreed.

We pulled up to the theater and Sara
practically pulled me out of the car, putting her arm through mine
while forcing us to walk together toward the entrance. The guys
followed.

“Em, you are in so much trouble,” she
whispered. I could only grin in recognition of the truth.

When the guys found out Sara was taking care
of the tickets, they insisted on paying for dinner – as Sara had
predicted. After getting our drinks and popcorn, we made our way
into the crowded theatre to see the newly released action
movie.

I could tell Sara was angling to sit
in-between me and Evan, but I slipped in behind him before she
could enter the row – so Sara sat next to me and Jared was next to
Evan. Evan easily found my hand again once the lights dimmed. I
don’t know if I could’ve recalled a single scene from the overly
explosive flick. Not with Evan slowly brushing his finger tips
along the inside of my hand, tracing delicate circles that made my
entire body tingle.

Every so often Sara tried to distract me and
pull me toward her with a comment about the action star and an
unrealistic leap, or that he should have been dead within the first
five minutes of the movie. When I leaned in to rest my head on
Evan’s shoulder, she finally gave up, shaking her head in
frustration. I couldn’t concentrate on anything except for his
breath next to my ear and his cheek against the top of my head as
he casually breathed me in. The star could’ve died in the first
five minutes - I would have had no idea.