Reason to Breathe (26 page)

“Of course. It’s nice to see you again, Dr.
Eckel,” Evan said, gripping his hand.

“Dr. Eckel, this is Evan’s girlfriend, Emily
Thomas.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Miss Thomas,”
Dr. Eckel said, shaking my hand gingerly. I produced a small
smile.

“Dr. Eckel is a professor of Bio-Chemistry at
Yale,” Evan explained.

“Oh.” I nodded lightly.

“Are you and Evan in many classes together?”
his mother asked.

“Evan’s in most of my classes.”

“So you’re intelligent. That’s wonderful,”
she concluded, smiling softly. I wasn’t sure what to say to
that.

“She’s also a great athlete,” Evan offered,
trying to deflect the awkward comment. “The girls’ soccer team won
the state championship last night because of her.” His
acknowledgement didn’t help. The sweater became unbearably stifling
the longer they spoke about me.

“Congratulations,” Dr. Eckel stated. “Have
you started looking at colleges?”

“I haven’t visited any campuses yet, but I’ve
had a few college scouts come to my games. My first choice is
Stanford,” I shared. My voice sounded so small in the huge
room.

“Really?” Vivian reacted in interest.

“What do you plan to study?” Dr. Eckel
inquired.

“I haven’t narrowed it down yet.”

“She could choose anything,” Evan boasted.
“She’s in all of the advanced classes and has a 4.0.”

“Hmm,” his mother responded, still
intrigued.

“Well, I wish you the best,” Dr. Eckel
offered, shaking my hand once again. “Evan, it’s always a
pleasure.” He and Vivian strolled to greet another face they
recognized.

I turned to Evan, trying to recover from my
elevated temperature. “Don’t do that,” I pleaded.

“I’m sorry, what did I do?”

“Talking about me like that - it’s so
uncomfortable.”

“But I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true,
and I didn’t exaggerate. Sorry if it’s hard to hear the truth.”

I took another breath. “I’m just not used to
this.”

“I know,” he said grabbing my hand and giving
it a gentle squeeze. He didn’t let go as I anticipated he
would.

“My parents said you were going to be here,”
an excited female voice squealed. I watched a stunning girl, with
long wavy blond hair, saunter toward us. She wore a strapless black
cocktail dress that hugged her slender figure. I felt juvenile and
plain in comparison – despite Sara’s best efforts. She wrapped her
arms around Evan and gave him a quick peck on the mouth. He
released my hand to return the embrace. I became an invisible
witness to this intimate greeting, holding my hands in front of me,
preferring to look at the floor.

“Catherine, this is Emma Thomas. We go to
school together. Catherine is the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs,”
Evan explained.

She turned to me with a start, oblivious to
my presence until Evan mentioned me. I understood why as she
pressed her body against his side, with her arms wrapped around his
arm.

“Nice to meet you,” she acknowledged with the
slightest nod.

“Catherine attends Boston College,” Evan
shared, obviously trying to make up for Catherine’s
disinterest.

“Do you like it?” I asked, thinking I should
say
something
.

“I do,” she answered shortly, barely glancing
at me.

“Evan, I have a surprise for you,” she
announced, dismissing me completely. “Come upstairs so I can give
it to you.” She started pulling him behind her. My eyes widened,
realizing I was being left standing alone.

Evan slowed Catherine’s persistent pace and
said something low into her ear. They stopped and she glanced at me
with confused eyes. Evan said something else and she looked at him
with a furrowed brow as she lightly ran her hand across his cheek.
Her face dropped to a sulk. She whispered in his ear and took in
his expression with a mischievous grin. He shook his head with an
apologetic smile. She shrugged, gave him a quick kiss on the lips,
and glided away. I wanted so much to blend into the wallpaper at
that moment.

Evan returned to me, his cheeks flushed.

Before he opened his mouth to say anything, I
blurted, “Don’t, it’s okay. I really don’t want to know. It’s
actually none of my business.”

He examined me cautiously and said, “Really?
That didn’t bother you?”

I drew my brow together. “Why would you ask
me that?”

“Because what she did was completely
offensive. I was bothered by it, so I can’t believe that you
weren’t.”

I shrugged slightly and dropped my eyes to
the floor. “I’m really not sure what to expect.”

“You should never expect that,” he stated
while taking hold of my hand and raising my chin with his other
hand. I couldn’t breathe when I turned my eyes up at him.
“Okay?”

“Sure,” I whispered, glancing away.

This was the strangest night of my life. I
was in the most exquisite house I’d ever seen, surrounded by people
who assumed they had the privilege to say anything they wanted,
regardless of how distasteful, and Evan was talking and acting ten
years older than he was. He was right - Jake’s party was going to
be easy after this.

We were greeted and I was introduced to more
people throughout the longest hour of my life. They’d ask Evan a
question and cut him off to talk about themselves. Finally, as I
was becoming cross-eyed to feign interest in another mind-numbing
story, a bell chimed and Mr. Jacobs requested that everyone make
their way into the dining room for dinner.

I found that after all of this stifling
drama, I was starving. We entered a long dimly lit room with the
same large arching windows framed in dark red drapes that showcased
the back terrace. The top half of the walls were covered in
antiqued glass mirrors up to the ceiling, while the bottom half
duplicated the ivory wood casings in the previous room. Another
impressive stone fireplace centered the wall opposite the
windows.

A long dark wooden table divided the room,
with the windows on one side and the fireplace on the other.
Complimenting the grand table were tall, straight-back chairs –
closer to forty chairs than the twenty Evan guestimated. The table
was set with delicate china bordered with gold scrolling, along
with a collection of elegant glassware and flatware. Small silver
cups of colorful flowers and glowing crystal votives were
intermittently dispersed along the center of the table. A stunning
crystal chandelier was suspended over us, creating a soft ambience
enhanced by a crackling fire.

Evan pulled out my chair for me to sit before
sitting to my left. To my changing fortune, Dr. Eckel sat to my
right. He was the only person I’d met who was not self righteous
and rude, but then again, he didn’t say much at all. That was fine
by me too.

However, keeping with the momentum of the
evening, on Evan’s left was Catherine, who scooted her chair closer
to him. She took a sip from an oversized wine glass and leaned
towards him.

“What Evan, not drinking tonight?”

“I’m driving,” he explained.

“You don’t have to,” she whispered, still
loud enough that I could hear her. My back straightened, and I
tried to take a sip of water to distract me. I didn’t dare look
over at them.

“Evan, I’ve missed you,” she breathed. I
choked on the water, coughing mid-gulp. I couldn’t stop coughing.
Everyone stared at me as I tried to contain my fit in my
napkin.

“Sorry,” I whispered, looking around at the
startled faces. My face was red, not only from choking, but also
from the words I’d just overheard.

“Are you okay?” Evan asked, trying to turn
his back to Catherine.

“Yes,” I replied apologetically. “I swallowed
wrong, I’m sorry.”

A line of servers entered the room, holding
shallow bowls in each of their hands. The bowls were set in front
of every person simultaneously. It was very impressive to
witness.

“Start with the silverware on the outside and
work your way in,” Evan whispered. I looked down at the lines of
silver. How much could we possibly eat to need all of this?

“Evan, don’t ignore me,” Catherine demanded
while we ate our soup. It didn’t appear that anyone else could hear
her whispers over the murmurs of conversation that bounced around
the cavernous room. I heard her because I was sitting next to Evan,
and Dr. Eckel was as mute as I was.

“I’m not ignoring you, Catherine.”

“When are you visiting me in Boston again?”
she asked. “We had so much fun the last time. Remember?” She
released a high pitched giggle.

My head cocked in reaction to this artificial
sound. Did she really force a giggle? Who does that? I tried to
hold in my laughter and ended up coughing again, receiving a few
more glances.

“I’m really busy right now,” Evan explained,
glancing at me. I couldn’t look at him.

“But I haven’t seen you since I started
school in August. Don’t you miss me?”

I couldn’t wait to hear his response to this
one.

“I had a good time.”

Nice one, Evan.

“I can promise you a better time. Why don’t
you come up next weekend? “

“Aren’t you on break for Thanksgiving?”

“Then come visit me here.”

“My brother will be home. I think we’re going
skiing.”

“Evan,” she whined. “Don’t make me beg
you.”

Was she serious? I took another gulp of water
trying to suffocate my urge to laugh. I swallowed it without
incident but found I was soon out of water. To my astonishment, it
was quickly refilled by a body dressed in a tuxedo who appeared out
of nowhere with a silver pitcher.

Catherine sulked during the second and third
courses. I had no idea what I was eating because the courses didn’t
resemble anything I could conjure up as food. But I tried them and
was pleasantly surprised to discover that I liked them.

“How are you doing?” Evan leaned over to ask
me.

“I’m doing just fine, thank you.” I grinned.
I still couldn’t look at him, because that meant I would see her
too. I didn’t know if I could do that and keep a straight face.

“How are
you
doing?” I inquired, still
grinning.

“I’m ready to leave actually,” he admitted. A
smile broke out on my face with the escape of a small laughing
cough.

By the fifth course, which I did recognize to
be beef, I had consumed three glasses of water and really needed to
use the bathroom. The thought of standing up in front of all of
these people and slipping out of the room unnoticed kept me
paralyzed in my chair. But the settling pressure made taking one
more bite unbearable.

“I have to use the restroom,” I whispered to
Evan.

“I’m not sure where they are,” he admitted.
“But you can ask one of the servers, and they’ll let you know where
to go.”

Thankfully, the entrance was behind us. I
held my breath as I slowly slid my chair away from the table. A
loud scraping sound filled the room, disrupting every conversation.
I grimaced and looked around apologetically at the same annoyed
glares I’d been receiving all evening. I slipped out of the chair,
and with as much concentration and grace as I could gather, I
walked toward the open door. Next to it was a woman in a tuxedo
with her dark hair neatly tied back into a low knot.

“Excuse me,” I whispered. “Could you please
tell me where the restroom is?”

“Go right out this door, and you will find
them tucked on either side of the staircase. It doesn’t matter
which you use.”

“Thank you.” I smiled at her and stepped out
the door. As I crossed the threshold, the heel of my shoe caught on
the lip of the doorframe, faltering my fragile balance. I took
several stammering steps into the foyer, trying to prevent myself
from falling on my face. I recovered and remained on my feet, but
the hard steps echoed like thunder throughout the foyer.

Evan came rushing out. “Are you okay?” he
asked, prepared to scoop me off the floor.

“I’m fine,” I replied, standing up straight.
I pulled my sweater taut over my hips and took a quick breath
before continuing to the restroom. I remained in the small space
for longer than was necessary, fanning my face in attempt to reduce
the shade of scarlet to a less noticeable red.

When I returned to the table, my unfinished
beef course had been removed, and a plate with small portions of
cheese, garnished with a fan of strawberries and tiny grapes was
set in its place. Catherine was hovering over Evan, whispering in
his ear while stroking the back of his neck. I fought the
temptation to glance over at him when I eased back into my
seat.

Whatever Catherine was saying to Evan, she
was saying it low enough that I couldn’t hear. At the end of the
course, Evan excused himself and slid out of his chair. I turned
toward him to see his red face before he left the room. Catherine
giggled, watching him go. I caught her eye and stared at her,
questioning. She smirked with a raised eyebrow before taking a sip
of wine. I looked away and placed a grape in my mouth,
unnerved.

Evan entered through a door at the other end
of the fireplace and leaned over to whisper into his parents’ ears,
who were sitting toward the head of the table with the Jacobs’. He
tilted his watch and said something else. His mother gave him a
quick peck on the cheek. Evan approached Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs to
exchange a few words before shaking their hands. He exited the door
and re-entered the one behind me.

“Ready?” he whispered, leaning over the side
of my chair.

“Sure,” I replied, setting down my glass of
water.

He helped pull my chair out without making
the same bellowing noise I did earlier. We walked into the foyer,
and Evan provided a card to the same poised gentleman in the tux to
retrieve our coats.

“Leaving so soon?” Catherine asked, as she
sashayed across the marble floor.