Reason Is You (9781101576151) (33 page)

The waitress brought our chips and gave us a questionable look, hovering for a second then moving on. Jason wiped the remaining tears off my cheeks and kissed me again.

“Then let’s talk about something else.”

Oh, thank God I passed.

“Well, let me go find the ladies’ room, and then we can talk about anything you want.”

He pointed the way, squeezed my hand, and went back to his
seat. I rounded the corner through a hallway marked with neon people wearing pants or dresses and shoved through another old wooden door. I glanced at myself in the mirror and groaned on the way to privacy.

Wasn’t private long. The second I sat down, the room was full again. With Shelby-ites and the queen mother. Crap. Where did they morph from?

“—Saw it, but my husband’s too damn cheap.”

“No shit,” another one said. “We never have enough money for what I want, but if it’s flat and plasma or cold and in a bottle, funny how the coins fall out his ass.”

I recognized the voice as Lisa’s. Female laughter echoed through the bathroom, and I heard Shelby’s flat sarcastic cackle. There were two options. I could stay in the stall till they left or go throw myself in the fire. I got out my compact and did quick eye repair in case I never made it to the mirror.

“I saw Jason’s car outside; did you see him?”

“No, but I’m sure he’s here,” Shelby said, sounding flippant. “He’s always here.”

“Wonder if that psycho is with him. What’s she, a witch now or something?”

I opened the stall and strode out, smiling ear to ear. “Or something.”

Lisa and another woman I remembered as Alicia-something pivoted in place, eyes wide. Shelby at least had the presence of mind to stay facing the mirror, staring at me with hatred as she fixed her lipstick. It was like high school all over again. I suddenly pitied all of them, still living that same life, and that one moment lifted all the intimidation.

I looked at Lisa and thought of what Miss Olivia had said. “Excuse me,” I said, and she and the other girl parted like the Red Sea so I could wash my hands.

“Well, well,” Shelby said, taking her time messing with her purse. “If it isn’t our own little Charmed One.”

“Shelby, quit,” Lisa said, her voice so tiny it was almost a whisper.

Shelby swung her are-you-crazy gaze her way, and Lisa looked like she wanted to duck. “What? After what Carson and Drew went through because of her? Seriously?”

Lisa busied herself with her hair, not meeting Shelby’s eyes. “Drew was a jerk, and Carson taught him how to be that way. Look how he was treating Micah! They put themselves there, nobody twisted their arms.” For just a microsecond, her gaze flickered to me.

Shelby scoffed, looking royally pissed. “Well, you be all bleeding heart if you want, but I know what I know.”

I looked her way as innocently as I could, and gave a small smile. “Whatever.”

As I walked away, Shelby said, “Dress her up, she’s still a freak.”

I stopped. Not because of what she’d said, but because Micah had walked in, and her face was priceless. And I was sad for her.

“Mom.”

Shelby’s eyes jerked her way, surprised, and then her demeanor settled back into her normal haughty way. “Micah, go back to work, baby.”

“No!”

I held my breath. All three women’s faces reddened, but Shelby’s was in anger.

“Micah—”

“What is wrong with you?” Micah’s voice was trembling. “Mom, you sounded just like the bitches at my school. How can you be such a horrible person?”

I stared at her in shock. Shelby’s offspring was taking up for Riley and me. The earth felt like it wiggled a little. As much as it was like watching a train wreck, I really wanted to get out of there.

I made my feet move. “Micah, it’s okay,” I said as I tried to pass her.

“Don’t speak to my daughter,” Shelby piped in, following me. “Don’t even look at her.”

“Mom!”

I turned with the intention of saying something equally as hateful, but somewhere in that two seconds a peace settled over me. Micah’s expression was etched on my brain, and by the time I was eye to eye with Shelby, all I could do was pity her.

“I hope my daughter never looks at me the way yours just looked at you,” I said softly, and then I walked around Micah, patting her arm, and made it out the door.

Somehow, I got to the table without ever exhaling, and when I sat down I let it all go. Jason looked at me funny, then looked up as the parade came out, and his expression changed to wary.

“That can’t have been good,” he said under his breath.

“It was sad, actually.”

“Sad, how?” he asked, but had to do a double take as Shelby planted herself tableside. We both looked up at her.

“Don’t you ever talk to anyone in my family again,” she spat. Her face, I noticed, wasn’t actually pretty anymore. Up close, she had the age that comes with the party life. “Do you understand me,
freak
?”

She leaned down a little in order to make the word land on me harder. But it was different. Clarity had beamed down on me, and all I could do was touch Jason’s hand so he wouldn’t use it to hit her, look at him as if she wasn’t there, and smile.

“Ready to order?”

There was a second of surprise in his eyes, but then he recovered and went with it.

“Absolutely.”

We grinned at each other as Shelby marched away, her puppets
faltering and going a different way. Lisa met my eyes for just a second and I felt the tide change.

Jason looked at me with curious eyes. “Do I get the play-by-play?”

The band came and started their set and I smiled at him. “Later. Let’s just enjoy this, now.”

“Oh, I almost forgot.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a tiny bag, handing it over to me.

I took it tentatively. “What’s this?”

He nodded at it. “Just open it and then don’t argue with me.”

Well, that sounded appealing. I unfolded the paper edge and peeked inside, then put it down and gave him a look.

He shook his head. “You heard me.”

I sighed and pulled out the fleur-de-lis earrings I’d seen him conspire to buy with Miss Olivia. I traced the pattern with my fingertip. It was ridiculous, but no one had ever bought me anything. Riley’s dad only bought household things, and then he’d taken them with him.

“You’re amazing,” I said, not really trusting that my voice would come out. “Thank you.”

“No big deal.” But he was beaming.

“It is to me.”

I put them on, and held up my spoon to see the reflection, smiling like a teenager. My first gift from a man. Well, other than a baby.

We ate chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes and summer squash baked with cinnamon. And banana pudding. I really tried not to think about my earlier fantasy with the pudding. But the kissing had flipped that switch, and it kept jumping in there. We laughed and people-watched and ignored Shelby’s friends, who were there without her then and looked lost and confused.

People still looked at me—at us—but mostly me. They’d look and then look away and say something discreetly to whomever they
were with. Wasn’t new, but yet it was. They knew the real deal now, and I guess that made it different. There was eye contact, though, and occasional smiles. I guess that was something. Or maybe Jason was right. Maybe it was me
allowing
it to be something.

As we sat there, fat and happy, a slow song came on, and Jason stood up.

“Going somewhere?”

He smirked and grabbed my hand. “You’re coming with me.”

I followed him to the dance floor, weaving around the other touchy-feely couples, and as he turned, he pulled me tight into his arms. There wasn’t the polite starting distance of the first time. When I wrapped my arms around him, we were moving as one. And as I closed my eyes and felt his hands on my back and in my hair, everything dormant began to stir.

That song ended, and thankfully another slow one followed, because I wanted to stay like that forever, molded to Jason. Enveloped in the warmth and aroma and feel of him.

My face was in his neck, and he smelled delicious, like sweet wood. I wanted to kiss him there, so badly, but I was afraid we’d end up on the floor. Then he moved my hair and kissed my ear, sending sparks to everything hidden, and I figured all was fair.

I let my lips land where they wanted to, and I tasted him, getting a charge through my body when I felt him suck in a breath and pull me even tighter. He kissed my ear again as we moved to the music, swaying together. I kissed him back, trailing my lips a little farther. I felt his chest rumble as he made a tiny groan, and my breathing quickened.

His hands started to roam as he kissed the side of my face, my nose, my mouth, and then he held the back of my head as he deepened his kiss, exploring my mouth. I wound my fingers in his hair and kissed back with all the passion I had, feeling like I would erupt into flames any minute.

He pulled back slowly, his hands in my hair, breathing fast. “Dani—”

“Want to leave?” Did I just say that? I was about to be easy. I’d never done that. But I’d never been with a man like Jason, either.

“So much.”

H
E
threw three twenties on the table, which was way more than the bill would ever be, but he clearly didn’t care. I didn’t, either. My blood was boiling and everything else was buzzing and certain places were teetering on feelings I’d become accustomed to experiencing alone. Or in dreams.
Not going there
.

He took me by the hand and led me out, thanking Micah, and opening the door for me. We stood outside, looking at both our cars. He looked at me as if afraid I’d change my mind if I got in my own car.

“I’ll be right behind you,” I said, meeting his eyes.

And I was. Nothing was going to deter me. Not even if Alex was in my car. Which I prayed he wouldn’t be. Not that I didn’t want to see him so badly it hurt, but it would have kinda washed out the sex drive with Jason.

It took longer to start my piece of crap than it did to drive to his boat, but I made it there and parked behind him, where he stood
waiting for me again. My heart thumped even harder at the sight of him. I was going to have sex.

“Shit, Dani, grow up,” I breathed.

He opened my door for me, and I laughed nervously, suddenly wishing we were back on that dance floor where everything was hot and clear and easy and I didn’t have to think.

But he surprised me again. He didn’t grab my hand and lead me into the devil’s den. He just hugged me. Really good. Really warm. Burying his face in my hair, and kissing it, and melting my bones.

He slid his hands up my arms and back again, leaning back to look at me. In the darkness, his face was just lightly lit by the glow from his “porch.”

I smiled, but I felt like my insides were quivering. He moved his hands slowly up to my neck, my face, and then kissed me. Soft, slow, tantalizing, and delicious.
You should be kissed—
No. I
was
being kissed. I wasn’t going anywhere else in my head. This was about Jason.

“It’s been a really long time,” I whispered.

He nodded and kissed the tip of my nose. “For me, too.”

I smiled. “I bet I win.”

He chuckled. “Okay.”

I felt his fingers trembling as he stroked my face, and I pulled him closer. “You’re shaking.”

“I’m nervous,” he said, inhaling deeply. “I want you so badly—but I haven’t—I haven’t loved anyone like this—not this fast.” My skin tingled.
Did he just say—
“This matters, Dani.”

I looked into his eyes that I really couldn’t see well, but I hoped he could see mine. See everything. I reached for his face and pulled it down to mine, kissing him like he’d kissed me. Slow. Long. My heart raced as his words rolled in my head. I kissed him with my whole body, until he responded with a noise in his chest and his hands on the move, and liquid heat spread to all things important.

He picked me up and carried me inside, miraculously not hitting anything on the way in. When he set me down on my feet, I went straight to work on the buttons of his shirt and he made quick work of discarding my vest. He kissed my shoulders, my neck and worked his way down as he sat on the couch. Then as I looked down at him, shirt open and looking tasty, he lifted up the bottom of my tank top and kissed my stomach as if he were making love to it.

“Oh my G—” My voice went away. I closed my eyes and I had no idea if my legs would hold me up. It didn’t matter. I twisted my fingers in his hair as he continued to raise my top up and follow with his mouth. I yanked it off the rest of the way and he popped the front clasp of my bra in a mini-second and landed there with his mouth, warm and wet, as his hands came up my legs.

I couldn’t breathe. I was one giant nerve ending, feeling sensations I couldn’t remember ever feeling. Not like that. Jason rose from the couch, taking me with him in one motion. I wrapped myself around him and he carried me to his bedroom.

J
ASON
even slept sexy. I lay curled up hugging a pillow, watching him. No drool, no slackened open mouth, no snoring. Just gorgeous. And at peace. One arm slung above his head, the other one under my pillow, left over from when we were snuggling.

I was basking. Running over the moments again and again. The feel of his hands on my body, the feel of his skin under my fingers, the heat. The way he moaned my name when he came. The endless kisses that had my lips feeling like they’d been pumped with collagen. His eyes taking me in, the slow sexy way he’d made love to me—the second time. After we’d gotten the mad monkey sex out of the way.

The silliness and the laughter and the serious moments. Like
when he said—at least I thought he said—that he loved me? Wow. But I hadn’t said it back. It was simmering there, I knew. I wouldn’t have spilled my guts to him if it wasn’t. But I still had unfinished business lurking somewhere in the realm between here and another place, and that was pulling me two different directions.

I leaned over and trailed my lips lightly down his chest, circling his navel till he stirred.

“Mmm,” he said with a smile, his eyes still closed. “Keep going, you might find the prize in the Cracker Jack box.”