Authors: T Styles
Tags: #Fiction, #Literary, #Urban, #African American, #General
The Next Morning
I didn’t go to sleep and one by one members of my crew started waking up. When they saw the stone look on my face they knew something was up. I was sitting on the bed, with my head against the wall looking down at Amber, hoping this was all a dream. Hoping she would wake up and be like, ‘
I’m sorry for calling you names and I wanna give you a chance’
. It never happened.
Wiping the crust out of his eyes Kid said, “Fuck wrong with you?” “She dead.” I said.
Silence.
Sugar stood up and walked over to her. “Stop fucking around, Mad.
You know how scared I be.”
“And I’m not fucking around! This bitch is dead! Look at her!” Sugar ran to the corner of the room I guess trying to get away from
the dead body or me. I couldn’t be sure.
“How she die?” Krazy asked looking at me then at her. “Did she
drink too much?”
“I killed her.”
Their mouths dropped.
“Why…why you do that for?” Sugar said standing in the corner crying. “Why you kill her? I’m not trying to get tied up in more shit. We
already on the hook because of your mother.”
“This ain’t about my mother.”
“I’m just saying…when you said you wanted to get your mother
back I could see that. But this girl didn’t do anything to you. I don’t understand why you had to kill her.”
“And you thought you could be with me?” I said to her in a low
voice. “You thought you could be my girl? With a heart like that?” I
shook my head. “Naw, shawty, you too weak for me. You could never be
on my arm.” I don’t know where that came from but it was real talk. She didn’t say anything else.
“What she do?” Krazy said.
“She crossed me. Now kill all that other shit!” I said looking around
at them. “Because just like that shit with my mother, we gotta keep this
between us. If we do that, things will work out. It always does.” “FUCK! I’M GONNA GET PUNISHED!” Kid said.
“Fuck punished, if this shit gets out you gonna get locked up!” I told
him. “But don’t worry, I’ma get us out of this.”
“How?” Sugar said.
“I’ma call my pops.” I paused. “He got my back. Always!”
HARMONY
OUT
“Ann, I’ll be home when I can. You gotta stop pressing me out!” Jace said.
Silence.
“If you make that move, it’ll be the stupidest shit you’ve ever did in your life. But it’s on you.”
Silence.
When he hung up the phone he looked at me like whatever argument he had with his bitch was my fault. “Don’t get mad at me because you beefing with your girl.”
“Don‘t say shit else to me.” He said.
I was riding in the passenger seat of Jace’s silver Hummer and I was angry. There was something in his eyes that told me one wrong move and he would throw me out on my ass. I didn’t ask him to pick me up from the hospital and I damn sure didn’t ask him to put me in his truck. He let his daughter whine and beg him to do this for her but none of this shit was for me.
“You talk to your sister?” I asked Jayden. When she was silent I looked back at her. I could tell she was thinking about something. “You hear me?”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you answer?”
“Because I was thinking. What you want?” She snapped.
I shook my head and said, “Did you talk to your sister?”
“No, mama. When I do I’ll let you know. I did tell her she has to come home though on her voicemail.”
Jace looked at me in disgust. “Losing your kids.” He said. “How fucking motherly of you.”
“Not now, Jace.”
When we passed a few stores, I noticed an “Everything Market”. You know the kind of place you could get beer, pads, medicine and anything else you wanted at any given moment.
“Can you stop at that store over there. I wanna go in and grab something right quick.” I asked pointing out of the window. “I’m only gonna be a second.”
“Stop there why?” Jace asked. “The doctor said if you were going home you had to be on bed rest, since you were pressed to leave the hospital early. So that’s exactly what I’m doing, taking you home.”
“If you been in a hospital as long as I was, you would’ve been pressed to go home too.”
“Well, I’m not stopping. I ain’t got time for all that shit.” He persisted.
“I’m asking you to stop at the store.” He didn’t seem to be slowing down. “Please, Jace.” He finally stopped in the store’s parking lot and I smiled.
“Don’t smile at me, Harmony. I don’t know why you do this type shit.” He said shaking his head. “You can never be regular, even after all these years. Always gotta keep up shit.”
“I know.” I paused, “But I’ll be right back.”
“I can go for you, ma. You shouldn’t be moving around too much on that leg especially.” Jayden said from the back seat.
“I’m fine, I been cooped up in a hospital for days. I really wanna start helping myself.”
Jace gave me an evil stare but fuck him. I was gonna do me regardless. “Harmony, why you tripping? The fucking doctor said you shouldn’t be moving around. Let me or Jayden go grab what you need.”
“And I said I wanna do it myself. I am self sufficient you know?” I paused. “Just because you found your daughter don’t make you my daddy too.”
“Whatever, Harmony. Do what you wanna do.”
I was about to leave when I realized I was broke. “Can I borrow some money?”
He rolled his eyes, reached into his pocket and handed me a one hundred dollar bill. I smiled and he said, “Bring back my fucking change. I’m not taking care of you no more.”
“For now.” I smiled.
Slamming the door on my way out, I limped into the market and went straight for the cooler. I could already feel an ice-cold beer going went straight for the cooler. I could already feel an ice-cold beer going ounce Budweiser and went to the counter to pay for it.
“Anything else?” the woman asked me.
“Naw. Just this for now.” When she rung up my purchase I said. “You got a bathroom in here?”
“Yeah…over there in the corner.”
With the beer in my hand I went into the bathroom, closed the door and popped the top. Then I downed the beer without taking one breath. I leaned up against the stall door and let the intoxicating feeling take hold of me. Next to busting a nut, there was nothing like having a cold one when you haven’t had it in months. Deciding I was still thirsty, I left the bathroom and did the same thing four times. On my fourth time out of the bathroom, when I opened the door I was met by Jace at the doorway.
“Fuck are you doing in here? You got your daughter out there worried like shit about you.” He grabbed me by my arm and my stitches felt itchy.
Damn, this nigga could fuck up a wet dream. “Jace, please.” I said snatching away from him to walk around him. “I done told you already that you not my father.”
I was almost away from him when he grabbed my arm, sniffed and said, “Hold up, you been drinking?”
“Jace, don’t be ridiculous.”
He tried to go into the bathroom but if he did he would see four empty bottles sitting in the sink. “What are you doing?” I said blocking his path.
“You were in there drinking wasn’t you?” He yelled. “You so fucking reckless! Damn!”
“Please stop it, Jace! You doing too much.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?! You just got out of the hospital and you up to your old shit already. I mean, are you that fucked up in the head?”
The way he yelled at me told me he still felt something for me. “I haven’t been drinking, Jace. Okay?”
“So what you in here for?”
“I came to get some Tylenol.”
“You got a pharmacy bag full of hard hitting drugs out there, and you wanna get some Tylenol?”
“It’s my life! Not yours.”
“Where the Tylenol?”
“What?”
“Show me the fucking Tylenol.”
“I didn’t get a chance to buy it, Jace. I had to go to the bathroom.”
“Okay, give me my money and go to the car. I’ma get the Tylenol for you.”
“I’ll do it, Jace! Damn!”
“Bitch, give me my fucking money.”
I dug in my pocket and handed him about eighty-six dollars and some change. He put the shit in his pocket and frowned.
“I knew you were a lying ass bitch.”
“Fuck you.”
“Listen, I don’t give a fuck about you no more. But I’m in my daughter’s life, and for whatever reason she loves you more than anything. But, bitch I will kill you before I let you fuck her up more than I’m sure you already have. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Yeah, Jace. I understand.”
This is why I hated Jayden. She took my life and now my fucking man. And no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get nobody to understand my point of view. I was always blamed for shit and it wasn’t fair.
“Now either you come on, or you getting left.” He paused. “It don’t make me no never mind.”