Authors: T Styles
Tags: #Fiction, #Literary, #Urban, #African American, #General
MAD
WASHINGTON DC
After I left my pops I got up with Mad Max at the Holiday Inn in Downtown D.C. I didn’t want to go back to my crib until I found out what was up with Harmony. Was she gonna tell the police what I did or what?
With the money he gave me, I rented the room, got him to buy me some liquor and ordered enough pizza for me and my crew. We were sitting in the room, which had two twin beds and we were kicking shit. Sugar brought some weed over and we were smoking and drinking.
“Where Wokie at?” I asked sitting on the bed with my head against the wall.
“Fucking with people’s cars.”
Five minutes later Wokie came in with two cans of spray paint. “I just fucked somebody’s shit up!” He laughed.
“You better stop fucking with people’s cars.” Sugar said.
“What you do man?” I asked.
“I spray painted Mad Max all on they shit!” he laughed. “Like five niggas cars.”
“That’s some dumb ass shit!” Sugar said.
“Yo, shut the fuck up!” Kid said. “You been complaining ever since…”
“Glitter died.” Krazy said.
Smoking on a blunt Sugar said, “Ya’ll remember when Glitter smacked the hell out of that teacher when she tried to carry her that day in class?” She laughed and coughed the smoke out of her lungs. “I couldn’t believe she really did that shit.”
“All because we dared her.” Krazy laughed. “She ain’t give a fuck. She would never pass up on a dare.”
“Man, ya’ll wasn’t even there. I saw that shit and was like, did she just hit this bitch in the face?” I said pulling on the weed. “I knew then that she was the bitch for me. I fucking miss her, ya’ll. Like, she was gonna have my baby and everything.”
“We miss her too.” Kid said. “Like it’s not even real yet.”
“It’s real.” Wokie said. “That’s the fucked up part about it. We can’t see her no more.”
I tried to hold back my tears because I was tired of crying. She was gone and I was going to move on starting with the Amber. Drunk back, I decided to hit her up to see if she wanted to hang out with me and my crew, but she didn’t call me back after I left a voice message. I already had in my mind how we would be together and stuff if she gave me a chance. And how pretty she would look when she carried my baby. Even though I just met her, I was feeling her and for some reason I think I was in love.
“I love her.” I said out loud.
“You love who?” Sugar asked chewing pizza with her mouth open.
“The girl I met today.”
Silence.
“Mad, how you love her when you just met her?” Wokie said. “That’s some quick shit.”
“What you saying, I’m lying or something?”
“Naw…I just think you may want to get to know her first.”
“If nothing else hit the pussy.” Krazy laughed.
They all laughed.
I looked at Sugar and she was pouting. I knew where she was coming from. She didn’t want me to be with anybody, let alone another girl.
“So why we here?” Kid said eating a slice of pizza. “We was living it up in the mansion and now we at a hotel.”
I looked at them seriously and said, “I ain’t wanna tell ya’ll but Harmony got out. She in the hospital now.”
They all looked at each other crazy.
“She got out?” Wokie said. “How the fuck that happen?”
“I think I left the door open and this social worker bitch walked in. Me and Jayden ain’t been going to school so she wanted to check on us.”
“Damn, you think she gonna say something?” Wokie asked.
“What you mean, about you fucking her?” Sugar asked. “I told you that was dumb but you wouldn’t listen. Plus you was the only one hitting the pussy on a regular.”
“Sugar, sometimes you act like you ain’t even a part of this crew.” Krazy said.
“Right! I bet if something went down you’d be the first one to talk.” Wokie said.
“You got me mixed up with you, nigga! Can’t nobody in this crew hold water tighter than me.”
“Everybody shut the fuck up!” I yelled. “To answer your question, Wokie I don’t know if she gonna tell. I mean, she ain’t say nothing to Jayden and it sounded like shit was cool.”
“How you know?”
“Because she my sister for one, nigga, and for two she woulda said something to me. As of now, I don’t think Harmony said nothing. Plus if they take us away, she not going to be able to collect welfare and my mother never had a job in her life.”
“Hold up, ya’ll live in a mansion and collect welfare?” Sugar asked.
“Yeah!” I paused. “So?”
“I’m just asking.” She said sitting on the floor grabbing another slice of pizza.
“Man, I’m not trying to get in trouble for fucking that old ass lady.” Wokie said. “What we gonna do?”
“Right now we gonna relax, smoke this shit, and drink this liquor.” I said. “Trust, we gonna be fine. Plus I ain’t trying to think about that right now. Shit been happening to me like crazy and I just wanna have fun tonight.”
“But what if…”
“Drop it!” I said cutting off Wokie. “I don’t wanna talk about it.” My phone rang and I picked up when I saw it was Amber. “This the girl I was telling ya’ll about!”
“Answer the phone, nigga!” Wokie said.
“Hello.” I said putting the phone up to my ear.
“Can I speak to Mad?”
“This me.”
“This Mad?” She sounded confused.
“Yeah…why you say my name like that?” I said deepening my voice.
“No reason, at first you sounded like a girl.”
“Stop fuckin’ around.” I paused. “I ain’t hardly no girl.”
Eavesdropping Wokie said, “What the fuck?” Then he laughed. “Why you trying to sound like a nigga?”
I threw my shoe at him and it missed his head and crashed against the wall. “Shut the fuck up!” I said covering my hand over the phone.
When he was quiet I said to Amber, “How I sound like a girl?”
“I don’t know. You did at first though.”
“Yeah if I pulled this dick out you wouldn’t be saying that shit.” I said.
Sugar laughed real hard but stopped when I looked at her seriously. My friends knew I didn’t consider myself to be a girl, but I guess they always thought I was playing.
“So you being nasty now?” Amber giggled.
“Just telling the truth.”
“Well if you’re nice enough to me, maybe I’ll see how good your dick really is. That’s cool with you?”
“Yeah.” I said thinking about fucking her already. “So you got my message? About coming to the hotel? We got food and stuff over here.”
“We?”
“Yeah, me and my friends.”
“Your friends?” Immediately I thought about kicking everybody out until she said, “But maybe it’ll be cool. Give me the address. I can hang out for a little while.”
“You sure? You sound mad or something.”
“Naw…I was just hoping we could be alone.”
“We can. So come hang out and when you ready to be alone, I’ll throw them out my room.” They frowned. “Or get another one.” They smiled. “Cool?”
She laughed. “It’s cool. But why you give me a blank? Truthfully that’s why I ain’t call you back when you hit me earlier. I thought you were running game.”
I did change one digit off my number and now she was calling me on it. “Look, if I gave you the wrong number it was by mistake. But I’m not about to kiss your ass. What you trying to do?”
“I’m on my way.”
I gave her the info and made my friends clean up a little bit. Fifteen minutes later Amber came in looking like a dime. Wokie, Kid and Krazy K had their mouths dropped when they saw her ass. She was wearing some tight jeans and a cute pink top. She looked so fucking sexy that immediately my joint started throbbing.
Sugar got up and bumped Amber on the way to the door. She left without speaking.
“What’s up with that bitch?” Amber asked.
“It’s a long story.” I said.
“Hey,” she smiled waving at everyone else. I walked behind her. “Ya’ll look like ya’ll were having fun.”
We walked over to the bed and Wokie was chilling on it like it was going to be a threesome. “Get the fuck off the bed, nigga!” I said kicking him.
Wokie jumped up and moved to the other bed with the rest of my crew. “Damn, all you had to say is excuse me.”
I rolled my eyes at him and focused back on Amber. I hated when new people came around because somebody was bound to show off. “So, what ya’ll doing?” She asked plopping on the bed. “I’m not interrupting anything am I?”
“Naw we be doing whatever we want.” Kid said. “So you cool. We MAD MAX, baby!”
We all laughed. “Yeah…we do anything we want.” Krazy added. “Without parents to bother us.”
“What’s Mad Max?” She asked.
“Another long story.” I interrupted.
“Well you must be the leader if the group has your name.” She said looking at me.
“I’m always in charge, baby.”
She laughed. “Well pretty soon if you want to be with me, you gonna have to start telling me some of these long stories.”
“You got that.” I winked.
“You smoke?” Krazy asked her.
“Yeah.” She shrugged. “Sometimes.”
I gave her the bob, she inhaled and coughed. “You aight?” I asked. “Want some water or something?”
“Naw.” She coughed a few more times. “I’m good.” She smiled again. “It’s just been a long time.” Seemed like every time this girl smiled my joint throbbed.
We kicked it some more and before I knew it everybody was talking shit and having a good time. Eventually Sugar got out of her attitude and came back into the room. We ain’t give her a hard time because as much as she was getting on my nerves, she was my friend and I fucked wit’ her.
It was three in the morning and me and Amber climbed in the bed together while the music played in the background. I was drunk but was feeling so good with her. I never thought I’d feel another female so quickly. Maybe Amber could be my girl and I could start all over.
We were lying on the bed face up with pillows under our necks. “I had fun with you and your friends tonight.” She was rubbing my leg. I lifted my head and saw Wokie, Kid and Sugar on the floor sleep. Krazy was in the other bed knocked out. “They seem to care about you a lot.”
Dropping my head back down I looked at her. “They do, but I’m looking for more.”
“Like what?”
“I mean, my friends are cool, but I’m looking for somebody I can make a life with. I want family. I never really had that coming up, so it’s always been a dream of mine.”
“When you say you want a family, what do you mean?”
“I’m talking about a wife, and a kid.” I paused. “That kind of stuff.” “You act like you real old or something.”
“Naw. I know what I want though.”
She smiled. “You sound like it.”
“That’s because I’m dead ass.”
“And why you ain’t got no girl? You so fucking cute.”
I thought about Glitter and the way we had so much fun together. “I had one, but we ain’t make it.”
“What happened?”
“She died.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” She seemed sincere. “How did it happen?”
“It was unexpected.” I paused. “And I want to leave it at that.” Amber rolled over and got on top of me, and then she stared into my eyes. The rim of my cap stabbed her forehead but she didn’t seem to mind. “What you looking at?” I pulled my cap down some more.
“You.” She paused. “And how come you always pull your cap down when I look at you?”
She moved to lift it up a little and I grabbed her wrist. “Don’t do that. It makes me uncomfortable.”
I released her arm. “Sorry. I like the way you wear it anyway.” Then she leaned her head to the left to prevent my cap from hitting her face and kissed me on my lips and my shit throbbed again. “I like you a lot, Mad. A whole lot. I hope you not playing games like some of the boys at my school.”
“I do know them niggas but I don’t play games.” I paused. “I’m feeling you too.”
She kissed me again and I threw my tongue in her mouth. I was rubbing her arms and back and then she took her pants off. I couldn’t wait to fuck her. Stuff was moving so quick and the drink and the smoke had my mind wrapped. The way she ran her hands over my body got me ready. I was so into her that I didn’t feel how quickly she went into my pants. When her fingers hit my stuff and went into my hole, her eyes popped open and she jumped out of bed.
“What…what you…what are you?” She asked stepping on an empty box of pizza. Then she wiped her fingers on the bed. “You got a…”
“What you talking about?” I said jumping up with her, looking at my friends who were still sleep. I was glad they weren’t awake because this would have been embarrassing. “Why you being all loud?”
“But you a…you got a…pussy.”
“Lay down,” I said pushing her on the bed. She sat back on the edge but she looked at me like something was wrong and I grew angry.
“Why didn’t you tell me you a…”
“Just stop it for a second. Let me explain.” I said.
I pushed her back down and she was laying face up…real stiff like. “Explain what, Mad. You a girl! You a fucking girl!”
“I know…but all my life I thought I was a boy.” I smiled trying to calm her down. I lay next to her and she scooted away from me. “I didn’t find out I was anything different until this year.”
“But, I can’t fuck with a girl!” She said getting angry. “I’m not like that.”
“Please don’t act like this.” I cried. “I could treat you so good if you let me. Better than any of them boys at your school. But you gotta listen to me.”
“But I’m not gay.”
“Me either.” I said shaking my head putting my hand on my chest. “Like I said I’m a boy, I just don’t have a...”
“Bitch, you got titties!” She yelled cutting me off. “I’m not fucking with you.”
I couldn’t believe this. We had a good time and I was feeling her like I thought she was feeling me. I know people don’t understand what I went through, but if she just gave me a chance to explain things would be better. I had to try harder. That’s it. Try harder.
“Please, give me a chance.” I cried reaching into my pockets. “I got money. You can have it all if you want it.” I laid the crumpled bills on her stomach. “I’ll buy you whatever you want if you don’t leave me. I don’t care what I got to do to get it for you.” I wiped my tears away with my hand. I was crying! Why was I crying? “I just don’t wanna be alone anymore. I need somebody I can be with. Somebody who can love me.”
“NO! YOU SO FUCKING NASTY! YOU GOT TITTIES AND A PUSSY AND YOU TRIED TO MAKE ME THINK YOU WERE A BOY!!! YOU COULD NEVER FUCK WITH A BITCH LIKE ME!” She yelled pushing the money on the floor.
I couldn’t deal with this now. I couldn’t deal with this kind of rejection. I wanted to keep her to myself. I wanted her to stay with me and now she wasn’t. So I grabbed the pillow behind her head and put it over her face. She tried to fight me but I held it down. My friends were still sleep and moved a little but nobody got up to see what I was doing. They were drunk and this bitch had me fucked up if she thought she could talk to me like she was crazy. Why she even stop her car if she was going to embarrass me? Why was she even nice to me? I was going to treat her so good…better than I treated Glitter.
I don’t know what came over me, but all of a sudden I was crying harder and it made me angrier. Who was this bitch to come into my life and play games with my heart? I pressed the pillow harder and could feel her movements getting lighter. She gave up. It took awhile but eventually she gave up the fight completely. She wasn’t built to last. And she wasn’t moving anymore and I couldn’t hear her screaming at me telling me I wasn’t any good. Amber had to be...she had to be dead.
I lifted the pillow and jumped out of bed. Her eyes were open and she looked scared. What the fuck did I just do? What the fuck did I just do? I leaned against the wall and looked down at her. She looked like she was looking at me but I knew she wasn’t. I couldn’t believe I killed somebody. It happened so quickly. What was I going to do now?