Rachel Laine (The Women of Merryton Book 3) (19 page)

“Me
too, but he’s always been able to have his cake and eat it too. Oliver was the
same way.”

“We’re
talking about my little boy, though.”

She
reached across the counter and took my hand. “I know, dear.”

Thirty
minutes flew by. We barely had time to clear the table and properly store the
leftover food. Mother Nature was much more effective than us. The light snow
showers were now more like blizzard conditions. The good ole Colorado weather
was notorious for how it could change in a matter of minutes.

“Drew,
we really need to get going,” I called from the foyer. I was bundling up, ready
to brush off my car before we made our trek home. Jake was obediently by my
side.

After
a minute, Drew and Andrew joined Evelyn and me. I could tell the two were
downcast. They looked like they had both lost their best friend. Andrew kept
his arm around Drew.

Evelyn
went to the large window in her living room and pulled back the curtains. “Are
you sure you should be driving in this?”

“I
have four-wheel drive, and I’ve driven in this kind of weather before.” It
wasn’t my favorite thing to do, but I could do it. It was going to be slow
going for sure.

“Rachel,
can I talk to you privately for a minute?” Andrew asked.

“Can
you call me? It doesn’t look like this is going to let up anytime soon.”

He
wasn’t taking no for an answer. He took my hand and led me to the kitchen.

“What’s
all this about?” I asked when we reached the kitchen.

“I
don’t feel good about you driving home in this. Please stay the night.”

“I
appreciate your concern, but we’ll be fine. I promise.”

He
shook his head in frustration. “At least let me drive you home in my Yukon.”

“How
does that make any sense? Who’s going to bring my car to me? And by the time
you get to my house, they may have closed the roads, and then you would be
stuck. And we know how you can’t be seen with us.” My frustration was coming
through, but I kept picturing my sad little boy.

He
growled and ran his fingers through his hair. “If you’re asking if I would
jeopardize my run to keep you safe, the answer is I would do anything to make
sure nothing happened to Drew or you. Why do you have to be so stubborn? Will
you please stay?”

“We
didn’t come prepared to stay overnight. We’ll be fine.”

He
marched off in a huff. “You’re infuriating.”

I
followed right behind him. “Right back at ya.”

Neither
Drew nor Evelyn were there. We didn’t have time for this. The roads were sure
to be deteriorating fast.

“Will
you please tell Drew to meet me out in the car?” I headed toward the door with
my coat in hand.

Andrew
was throwing on a pair of boots. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Didn’t
we just have this conversation? I’m going to clear the snow off the car and
then Drew and I are going home.”

“I’m
taking you home.”

“I
don’t need your chivalry.”

He
stood up and hovered over me. His eyes were blazing mad. “Is that what you
think this is?”

“Yes,
and for your information, we’ve done fine all on our own. We don’t need a man
in our lives.”

His
liquid gold eyes went from blazing to fiery. He pulled me to him and I could
feel the heat emanating off him. He inclined his head as if he were studying
me. His eyes and poise were intimidating. “Maybe you don’t need me, but I need
Drew.” He breathed deeply and thought for a moment. “And you.” It sounded like
he was reluctant to admit it. “If something happened to either one of you, it
would kill me. So whether you like it or need it, I’m taking you home.”

I
stood, stunned, as he held on to my arms. I felt like a scolded child. I hadn’t
stopped to think he was worried. I hung my head. “I’m sorry.”

He
tilted my chin up with his hand. I found myself looking directly in those eyes
again. There was still passion in them, but the fire was now a slow burning
ember. “I’m sorry I can’t give Drew and you everything I want right now. I know
this has been difficult for you, but it hasn’t been easy for me either.”

I
was about ready to tell him we would stay when Evelyn and Drew reappeared.
Andrew and I broke apart. Drew didn’t have any reaction, but Evelyn looked
between the two of us with interest. With a subtle smile, she announced,
“They’ve shut down the highway due to several accidents and low visibility.”
She side hugged Drew. “Looks like we get to build that robot after all.”

“Yes!”
Drew responded.

I
looked up at Andrew, who was visibly relieved.

I
wasn’t sure how I felt, but it wasn’t relief.

I
watched Drew and Jake sleep on the four-poster bed in one of Evelyn’s guest
bedrooms we were sharing. They were both tuckered out from playing in the snow
with Andrew. I was dethroned in my son’s eyes tonight as the best snowman
builder. Andrew easily took the cake. They built an eight-foot tall snowman,
complete with button eyes and a pipe. It was his grandfather’s pipe, but Drew
had no idea. All Drew knew was that Andrew was the best friend he had ever had.

They
had invited me to come out and play with them, and normally I would have, but I
opted to stay in with Evelyn and watch. I wanted Drew to have all the time he
could with Andrew.

“He’s
a natural with Drew,” I commented to Evelyn as we watched our sons.

“Oliver
was the same way. When the nurse placed Andrew in his arms it was like this dad
switch turned on. Does it bother you?” she asked candidly.

“Yes,”
I answered with the same amount of candor, “but deep inside, I know this is how
it should be. Drew deserves to have a father, and even more, one who is worthy
to be his dad.”

“And
do you think Andrew is deserving?”

I
thought for a moment as I watched him hoist Drew up to place the eyes on their
snowman. I observed their connection, the way they interacted with each other,
the way they seemed to … love each other. I nodded silently to Evelyn’s
question. I had a hard time admitting it out loud.

She
took my hand in her elegant hand. “You know, it doesn’t take anything away from
you. You’ve done an amazing job raising him.”

“Then
why does it hurt so much?” I felt like a child.

She
gripped my hand. “No matter how old we get, or they get, we never want to let
our babies go, but this I know, their hearts belong to you in a way no one can
replace. The love of a mother is powerful. It is one of the strongest forces on
earth.”

As
I watched Drew sleep, I delicately touched his hair and thought about Evelyn’s
words of wisdom. I thought how I would move heaven and earth for him. I thought
about his dad and his possible feelings for me and my feelings for him. Was he
really falling for me? Did he need us? Did we need him? Did I want him? My biggest
hesitation in dating had always been my worry that no man would ever love Drew
like he was his son, but Andrew was my son’s father. Andrew loved him. He
hadn’t said it, but I knew he did. Nothing short of love would have made Andrew
react the way he did today. He was going to do anything he could to protect his
son, to protect me. Even if I thought we didn’t need it.

I
got up to change into some of Evelyn’s pajamas she was kind enough to lend me.
Drew was sleeping in one of Andrew’s shirts. Andrew jokingly, or maybe not so
jokingly, offered me another of his shirts. He mentioned it might push him over
the edge if he knew I was sleeping in his shirt. I’m not sure why that was such
a turn on for men.

The
guest bathroom was twice the size of my master bathroom. It reminded me of
Jessie and Blake’s bathroom with the rain shower, raised sunken tub, and
natural stone tile. The floor was even heated. I needed to get on that. I made
a mental note to ask Blake how much that would run me.

I
washed my face and brushed my teeth before changing into the softest flannel
pajamas I had ever worn, probably the most expensive, too. I noticed the
designer tags inside the sky blue pajamas. Evelyn was a little taller than me
and not as well endowed, so the sleeves and pants were too long, but the chest
area was a little snug. I hoped I didn’t pop any buttons.

I
had just thrown my hair up in a messy bun when there was a knock on our door. I
rolled up my pant legs in a rush so I didn’t trip on my way to the door. I
opened the door to find Andrew standing there in his Colorado Bears flannel
pajama bottoms and long-sleeved black cotton shirt. He looked too good for my
own good. His charming smile wasn’t helping, either.

He
perused me as well. “I never thought I would say this to a woman, but you look
great in my mom’s clothes.”

“They’re
a little snug and long.”

“I
hope you won’t hold this against me, but the snug part looks the best.”

“I’m
going to pretend you didn’t notice.”

“You
can pretend all you want, but I notice you.” He took my left arm and began to
roll up the overly long sleeve for me. He did the same for the right side.

“So,
can I help you with something?” I felt childlike again as he helped me with my
clothes.

He
looked over at our sleeping son. Love was written all over his eyes. “They look
comfortable.”

I
looked back at my son and his faithful dog. “What I wouldn’t give to sleep as
peacefully as those two.” I looked back at Andrew, whose eyes contained mischief.

Andrew
reached for my hand. “Come with me. I want to show you something.”

I
carefully considered taking his hand.

He,
on the other hand, took no consideration at all. He took my hand and tugged on
it. “You won’t want to miss this. I promise.” He turned off the lights, but
left the door open to let the hall light in, in case Drew woke up while I was gone.

I
let him lead me down the stairs to the living room, where all the lights were
off, and the large picture window was front and center. It was the ideal view
to watch the falling snow. It was made more perfect by the Christmas carols
playing at low volume in the background, and the steaming mugs of hot chocolate
I noticed on the coffee table in front of the couch that faced the window. The
glow of the slow-burning fireplace only added to the ambience. I felt like I was
in a Christmas card.

We
each took a seat in the middle of the couch. We sat close, but not right up
next to each other, which was a good thing. He had me feeling things I hadn’t
in a long time. Things I wasn’t sure I should feel for him.

We
didn’t say anything for several minutes as we sipped our dark hot chocolate
with homemade whip cream. I was content to watch the snow fall and listen to
Harry Connick Jr. serenade me on the surround sound, but I finally broke the
blissful solitude.

“Your
mom’s house is gorgeous.”

He
set down his mug. “I’m glad you think so, since it’s mine.”

“Yours?
I thought you lived in Highlands Ranch.”

“I
do, but I had this built about five years ago for my parents, and for when I
retire.”

“That
was sweet of you.”

“I
can be sweet.”

“I’ve
noticed that about you.”

He
turned toward me. “And what else have you noticed about me?”

I
took a sip of my hot chocolate while I thought about that loaded question.
“Well, for starters, you don’t lack confidence.”

He
chuckled. “So you think I’m cocky?”

“That’s
not what I said. I’ve never met anyone as self-assured as you. It’s not a bad
thing. I think Drew is a lot like you in that way.”

“I
love that kid.”

“I
know you do.”

“I
know that’s hard for you.”

“Since
you’re his father, I would prefer that be the case, but yes, it’s difficult.”

He
sat back and rubbed his neck. “I’ve been trying to figure out a way to tell him
sooner rather than later. I’ve even considered just letting everyone know and
see where the cards fall, but I’ve seen how brutal they’ve been to the
representative that’s being ousted. I don’t want that for Drew or you.”

“Don’t
you think it will be just as bad after the election?”

“No.
Elections are more vicious, and with the right spin, it should be a flash in
the pan.”

“The
right spin?”

He
turned his head toward me. “Don’t take that the wrong way.”

“How
should I take it?”

“I’m
not talking about lying. I’m talking about protecting all of us.”

“I
don’t want Drew to be some cooked-up story.”

“He
won’t be, I promise.”

“And
I don’t want my sister’s name dragged through the mud. You hold as much
liability as she does in this situation.”

“I
know. Don’t you think I wished I would have believed her or come looking for
you earlier? I figured she would have contacted me again if she really thought
the baby was mine.”

I
took another long sip of the sweet drink before I set it down. I rubbed my face
in my hands and breathed out in frustration. It seemed like there was no easy
solution except … “I know you’re tired of me asking this, but do you really
have to do this now? Isn’t being his father enough for you at the moment?”

“Rachel,
finding out I’m Drew’s father is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
It makes me want to be a better man. I look at running and serving in this
capacity as being able to make a difference, to be the kind of man Drew can
look up to.”

“He
already looks up to you.”

“I
know, but as he grows older, I want him to see that his dad tried to better
lives. I want him to see that I fight for what I think is right. I can do this
job. I want to be the man my father was. The man that helped the less fortunate
and bettered his community, and not just by writing a check.”

I
sighed. “Okay, Andrew.”

“Come
here.” He held out his arm, waiting for me to snuggle into him.

I
had some serious reservations about that and hesitated.

“I
won’t bite you. Maybe nibble on you.” He laughed at himself.

I
gave in and scooted closer.

He
wrapped his arm around me, and my head landed on his shoulder. He ran his
fingers down my arm. “Rachel, thank you for being patient and putting up with my
circumstances. It will all work out, you’ll see.”

“What
if it doesn’t?”

“It
will.”

“Maybe
you
are
cocky,” I teased.

“There’s
probably some truth there.”

We
once again fell into a pattern of silence. I found myself comfortable in his
arms and I was sleepy.

“Rachel,”
he whispered into the quiet.

“Yes?”

“We
should probably talk about us.”

“Us?”

He
ran his fingers down my arm and clasped my hand with his. “Yes, us. I don’t know
if I can hide my feelings for you any longer.”

I
held my breath. This was getting real. “And what kind of feelings are those?”

“The
kind that have me contemplating kissing you until we’re both out of breath.”

My
heartrate soared. “Oh. Those kind.”

“There’s
more.”

“More?”

“I
want to have a relationship with you besides you being the mother of my son.”

“Like
a romantic relationship?”

“Yes,
but more.”

“I
don’t understand.”

“Rachel,
I don’t know if this makes sense, but my feelings for you go beyond romantic. Don’t
get me wrong, I want to romance the hell out of you.”

“How
do you romance the hell out of someone?” I asked with a smile.

He
pulled me closer and kissed my head. “I plan to show you, but I know we need to
wait before we can take that step, that is, if you are willing to.”

Oh,
wow. What should I say? Part of me, the part of me that was cozied up in his
arms, was screaming at me to say yes. The other part of me was reminding me of
all the reasons we shouldn’t. “Andrew, what about Drew?”

“I
know I need to tell Drew who I am first.”

“There’s
that, but I don’t ever want him to think you only wanted him because of me. And
what happens if we try and fail? We still have a son we need to co-parent. It
could get really uncomfortable.”

He
leaned his head down and breathed against my neck. “Are you comfortable now?”

His
breath against my skin was making me want to say yes. “In your arms, or with
the way things are?”

“Both.”

“Andrew,”
I sighed. “Yes and no and no and yes. I don’t know. I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I
wasn’t expecting you, either, but here you are in my arms, like this is where
you’ve always belonged.”

“Did
you feel that way when you held Sydney?” I couldn’t help but ask. The doubts
were still in the back of my mind.

He
groaned. “I wish you would quit comparing what happened between me and Sydney
with what’s happening between us. The answer is always no. I never felt for
Sydney the way I feel for you. I never had any intention of having a
relationship with your sister. I know it wasn’t right, and even how
disappointed that may make you. I’m sorry for how things happened with Sydney,
but I’m not sorry that it’s you raising my son and that it’s you that I want.
You and Sydney are two entirely different people. When I hold you, all I can
think about is how honored I am that you let me. And how much I want
you
.”