Queen (Mistress & Master of Restraint) (42 page)

Jamie has felt like background noise to me
for well over a year. I know he’s a person, but not seeing or hearing him has made him less in my eyes, like furniture. It’s there, but you hardly interact with it.

I’ve been debased, fucked, beaten, and restrained while he played voyeur. I’ve failed and excelled under his gaze. I’ve also watched movies, taken walks, and ate meals with him in the background. I’ve talked about every subject while he absorbed my words.

He no longer holds this distinction and now he finally feels real to me. He’s extremely bright, witty, funny, and kind. He gave me the advice that Marcus would have given me to get me to calm my emotions.

It’s taken everything in me not to climb the steps to his apartment and demand access to see him, to spend time with him. He’s been absent all night during my training. Marcus is up there with him discussing some business they share. I stare at the ceiling wondering
if they’re directly above me.

“I see you’re using that huge vocabulary of yours, Mr. Abernathy.” I pick on him for using the word
pensive
. “When’s the newest release?”

My body’s wrecked. Marcus worked my anxieties out of me. My poor feet are smacked raw. He had a bad night last night, too. I’m sure he envisioned me fucking the hell out of Roman. He isn’t huge on inflicting pain, but we both needed it tonight. Cort’s rubbing cooling lotion into my blazing sole
s and I’m practically purring.

“Soon.
Did you like the last book?” He asks shyly.

He always sounds unsure when speaking of his writing. It’s the only time he lets down his cocky attitude. It was exceptional. I only read his books and James Atwater’s. I don’t tell him this, though. No need to feed his huge ego.

“I loved that twist at the end. It really made me want to find you and beat the living shit out of you for ending with a cliffhanger. Not cool, Asswipe.”

“Be happy I give you the first draft. You could’ve had to wait as long as the readers.” He tweaks my pinky toe and I yelp.

“I’d just hack your laptop and get it myself. Thanks for keeping me legal. How’s the wife?” I ask of his wife Divina. She’s Ezra’s cousin and he’d married into the family to secure their future. It’s a strange concept for me to understand, but I’ve lived in this class for the past decade. I’ll start to worry when I think it makes sense, until then I just flow with it.

“She’s really good. Her health is perfect right now. We had a scare a few months ago, though. I give the credit to her new boyfriend.” His face is vibrant with happiness and
he flashes a shit-eating grin.

“This is just too fucking weird for me.” I shake my head in amazement.

“I see her as my family, Regina. It’s not weird for me. It’s all I’ve ever known. After you’ve known someone since you were born and seen them ill and healthy, you can’t really lust after them. She used to smash my
Matchbox
cars with a hammer. Ya just can’t fuck someone who does that.” He snickers and I know there’s more to that story.

“Wha
t did you do first?” I accuse.

“Oh, there ya go again. It has to be something I did
first.” He looks at me flatly.

“Okay, how did you retaliate?” I have no doubt that he didn’t let the destruction of his toys drop.

“I may have burned all the hair off her
Cabbage Patch Kids
, first.” He says sheepishly.

“HA! I knew it!” He laughs
with me and then gets serious.

“I love her with all my heart, but not as the person I’d want to spend the rest of my life. If I had to pick, I’d always choose Ezra. But, I’m not a one-on-one kinda guy.” He gestures with his arms like, ‘what are ya gonna do.’

“Me too, I don’t think I could have one person as my world again. It hurts too much to lose them. I’ve lost more than I’ve kept.” My voice is despondent and pained.

We sit for a moment. I can see that what I said hurt him somehow. I watch him and he watches me back. He gives me a self-deprecating smile.

“I almost lost Ezra once. I was the worst three days of my life. I’ve never gotten over it and I got him back. We aren’t the same as we were, but at least he’s still alive. I get it, Regina, and I’m so damned sorry.” He looks like he’s going to cry and then he pulls out the charm. I know I’m in for it.

“So Master was in an especially foul mood last night. I’m surprised that I can talk today. Not once, or twice, but six times I was subjected to his fury. Somehow I know it’s because of you. I
wasn’t sure until he beat the crap out of you and then made you return the favor. Never have I seen him take swats. So…What’d ya do?”

“I don’t know what
you’re talking about,” I lie. 

“Sure ya don’t. He’s being comforted by Jamie right now. He never needs Jamie’s comfort. Soothing words just aren’t the same when they’re said
with your hands,” he teases. 

“Do you think they are doing something naughty right now?” I look to the ceiling trying to see through it. It bothers me to think that they’re touching, which is weird since I like it when he’s sweet to Cort.

“No, absolutely not- never.” He laughs at the thought. “He takes care of Jamie and Jamie’s his confidant.” He smirks at me. “So what’d ya do?”

“Nothing,” I lie again. 

“Liar,” he calls me on it. 

“Fine,” I sigh heavily. “An old friend of mine is dating Kristal. He has been for the past year. I’m sure you knew it too,” I say when he starts to look guilty. “I didn’t know it was him until I walked into my house last night and there he was. It was embarrassing because of how Marcus marked me up. I wigged out on him during a walk when Queen wanted to play something fierce.”

“I knew that Alex was dating Kristal but I didn’t know you knew him,” Cort admits. “Since I know you’ve only been with two men, how much of an old friend are we talking about?”

“My first kiss.
If I hadn’t gone with Grant, it was possibility that I would’ve ended up with him.”

“And Marc knows about this?” He
arches a brow at me in shock.

“Marc’s been watching him since I was eighteen. He knew and didn’t tell me. He bit the shit out of me, dressed me like a whore, fucked me, and sent me home for Roman to see.
I’m a bit pissed at him, too.”

“I never thought I’d see the day,” he whistles and gazes at me in approval.

“See what day?” Ezra’s smooth voice asks from the doorway.

In the year and a half that I’ve been training, not once has Ezra stepped foot into the Brownstone. I was beginning to think it was a secret location.

“Where’s our grumpy Master? He was despicable today.”

“He’s upstairs conducting business,” Cort answers and I wanted the answer to m
y question, but he lets it go.

“Jamie gives me the creeps. I don’t know why he won’t let me see him.” Ezra shakes his head and shivers. “Ar
e you two the only ones here?”

“Nah- we’re having an orgy in the back,” Cort answers sarcastically. “We scabbed most of y
our clientele from Restraint.”

“Dumbass,” Ezra chastises, but he ruins it when his lips twitch.

“Don’t ask a stupid question if you don’t want a stupid answer.” He’s teasing, but the resentment breaks through.

Sadness rolls over Ezra’s face, but he covers it quickly. Not fast enough that Cortez didn’t notice. He sighs heavily and
grabs for this partner’s hand.

“I’m sorry,” Cort says softly. This is
a side of him I’ve never seen.

“I think you should just record that and give me a copy. It’s all I hear these days. I don’t hear from you for weeks at a time and then it’s just ‘I’m sorry, Ezra.’ It’s getting old. You need to come home and stop torturing us.”

I’ve seen Ezra, in person, twice. I’ve seen him from a distance many times. He’s always controlled. He emulates Marcus perfectly. I know that a fissure exists in his control- Cortez.

“Why are you here?” Cort ask briskly.

“If it’s just you and Queen, then I guess I can get Marc’s newest trainee. I picked him up at the airport as commanded. Why is Marc being a complete douchebag today?”

“Trust me, you don’t want to know,” is Cort’s reply. “Bring in the fresh meat.”

He leaves the room and Cort and I share a shrug. We didn’t know we were getting a new trainee. Dexter usually takes everyone. Marc’s very selective about who he trains.

Ezra walks in with a short male following behind him. It’s almost comical seeing the pair side-by-side. Ezra is tall and lanky with sandy-blond hair and gunmetal eyes. The only thing he shares with his companion is soft, pale skin. The new trainee is so underwhelming it’s like he’s camouflaged- indistinct brown hair and eyes, slight frame in frumpy clothing. Most people would look to him and then look away without a second glance. For some reason I study him. His appearance screams someone my age, but his skin is flawless. He must be around twenty and no more. His face is beautiful and I know that what I see isn’t really him.

His eyes latch on to mine in defiance. It looks like he’s playing animal kingdom, but I’m not fooled. He’s trying to divert my attention. That’s fine, young man, our Master will tell me your secret.

“Welcome to th
e Brownstone,” I say politely.

“Dalton Thompson, this is Cortez Abernathy and Queen. I don’t know her real name, so don’t ask. Master said no one was to pry.” Ezra sits next to Cort on the couch and Dalton s
its next to me, opposing them.

He looks at me as I did him. He’s studying me. I don’t allow him to intimidate me. I just smile.
“Dalton, it’s nice to meet you.” I shake his hand and he seems shocked by the display of respect. Dexter wouldn’t shake my hand when he met me; I was beneath him. Dalton’s hands are so smooth and soft that I know he’s barely legal. His appearance and demeanor may say thirties, but his skin says twenty. Interesting.

“Are you two sleeping together?” Ezra asks out of nowhere.

It was so random that I laugh. He’s staring daggers at me. At first my guilty conscious kicks in and I think he mean me and his adoptive father, Marc. But his eyes are glued to Cortez’s fingers rubbing my feet.

“I’m not his type,” I say with a self-deprecating laugh.

Since our make-out session in the
Vanquish,
I’ve receive nothing but sisterly touches and we’ve beaten the crap out of each other on the equipment. But that’s par for the course- everyone wants to kick Cort’s snarky ass, but I actually get to do it.

“He doesn’t have a type. If it has a pulse, he fucks it. Actually, it probably doesn’t need a pulse either.” Ezra jokes, but it’s tinged with truth and pain.

“Well, I guess I’m the exception to the rule. I don’t fit those stringent standards,” I say sarcastically to hide my hurt.

I know that Cort finds me less than desirable, especially since I received the leering treatment at Restraint. He may not find me attractive, but we share respect and friendship now. That’s a hell of a lot more important to me.

“You don’t shit where you eat,” is Cort’s only reply.

I get offended because I have no idea what that means. I pull my feet from him and fight back tears. I know I’m not
hot
or anything, but I’m not a troll. Cort looks at me strangely for my reaction.

“Your Master probably commanded him to leave yo
u alone,” Dalton says quietly.

“Yeah right,”
I scoff. “Why would he care?”

Cort gives me the ‘you’re a dumbass’ look.

“It’s an effective way to reward and punish. You must be very controlled since I would assume Cortez would be your punishment.” Dalton says this with a straight face and a douchebag tone in his voice, but I see his lips twitch. He’s playing a role for some reason. I like this kid.
Ezra howls out a laugh that’s so loud that Marc and Jamie had to have heard it upstairs. He’s nearly crying.

“Laugh now, Ez, you’d beg to be punished if that was the case.” Cort says offended.

“I would,” Ezra says soberly. “Come home.” Cort looks away from all of us and doesn’t reply.

“Queen could you show Dalton around the rooms?” Since Ezra asks politely inste
ad of commanding me, I comply.

“Ouch- fuck me, that
hurts.” I hop around a few times in discomfort.

“Maybe you’re a bad Mistress. You seem to be punished.” Dal
ton says as he takes my elbow.

“Be forewarned: you will play with everything and experience everything for the sake of instruction and several more times for our Master’s enjoyment. Marcus is brutal. But in Queen’s case.” It’s weird hearing Cort call me Queen and he didn’t even mock the word- progress. “She wasn’t punished. Master’s being a jealous brat so he took it out on her feet and thighs, but he allowed her to retaliate on his gorgeous ass,” he says with amusement and smirks.

“Your Master allowed you to work him?” The kid asks in awe. “What did you use?”

“Paddle- I didn’t want to hurt him.” I smile like a Cheshire cat.

Ezra’s staring at me intently from my toes to the top of my head and down again. It’s creepy being visually examined by your best friend’s fiancé, but there’s nothing sexual about it- it’s calculating. I try to walk Dalton out to get away from his assessing eyes.