Read Pursuit For Lucidity (Crashing Waves) Online
Authors: Marie Jem
“
We’ve been very busy,” Alex replied, looking at me and smiling.
“
Well, welcome back. It’s really good to see you again,” she said.
Deanie took our order while Alex and I sat right next to one another as if we were glued together. Alex seemed to be coming a long way with his jealousy issues. He seemed fine with the fact that I was going to see Stefano a few nights a week in dance class
. He was fine with the fact that we would all be going out the following night. He was trying really hard to remind himself that I was nothing like Angela. He was learning to trust again.
I tried and tried to get Alex to reveal where we would be going for the weekend
, but he would not budge. He kept saying it’s a surprise and he would tell me before I started to pack.
“
Maybe I shouldn’t even tell you until we get there,” he said, rubbing his chin.
“
That’s not fair. You said you would tell me before I packed. You can’t change your mind now,” I replied.
“
The surprise isn’t even
where
we will be going. The surprise will take place during the weekend at that location,” he explained.
Now Alex really had me thinking about the surprise. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything else but the surprise. I would constantly try to figure out wh
ere and what the surprise was going to be.
I looked around the diner and realized how much I had missed spending many lunches with Alex. I thought Alex would have gone there at least a few times during our break up
, since he loved it so much, but from Deanie’s reaction, I knew he hadn’t.
“
Alex, you didn’t come here after our break up?” I asked.
“
I used to come here alone all the time, but after I began coming here with you, I couldn’t see myself coming here without you,” he replied.
I took his hand, “That’s so sweet, Alex.
I came here once without you when you were in Guatemala, but we were still together at that time,” I confessed.
After we had both stuffed ourselves with the diner’s delicious food, we headed back to the hospital. I told Alex about Taryn’s jealous eyes on my beautiful basket of roses. He began to laugh, “You can be so mean if you want to, baby,” he said.
“It’s only Taryn who brings out the mean in me that I never knew existed,” I confessed. “I will see you after dance class tonight. Don’t work up too much of a sweat at the gym. Save some of that sweat for me,” I said and headed back to my department.
Stefano sent another text to not
ify me that there would be no gift exchange the following night. The dinner and drinks would be our birthday celebration. I was so glad to hear that, as I did not have a birthday gift for him and would have to run to the mall after dance class to purchase something. Shortly after Stefano’s text, I received one from Alex as well.
Now you have me thinking about sweating with you tonight. It’s difficult to focus on my patients when I have a mental picture of you naked.
That’s all the imagination you’ve got? I would think you’d at least imagine me naked, dripping wet, my wet mouth on your... you get the picture, don’t you?
Is there any way you can skip that dance class tonight?
I’m so sorry to disappoint you, Dr. Blake, but you’ll have to wait for me to get home to get wet together.
You’re fucking killing me. I’ll see you tonight.
Stefano was leaving the studio as I was entering that evening. He had another romantic evening planned with Mandy. He gave me a hug, “Tomorrow’s going to be fun. I finally get to meet this Alex of yours. Hey, what if I don’t approve of him?” he asked, with a grin.
“
You will approve of him, trust me. You will approve of him just as I approve of Mandy,” I said and entered the studio for ballet class. I didn’t have such a hard time in ballet class that evening as I had in Stefano’s class the night before. I was glad that I wasn’t as sweaty, so I wouldn’t freeze as much when I stepped outside the studio.
When I arrived at the condo, Alex wasn’t home yet. I decided to take a shower right away
, so I wouldn’t have to worry about it later. Just a few minutes into the shower, I heard the bathroom door open. It was Alex standing there with nothing on as he opened the clear glass shower door and stepped inside to join me. I could tell he had just worked out, as his muscles were firmer and more toned. Neither one of us said a word. He put one hand on the back of my head, almost pulling my hair, and the other hand on my bottom. He pressed his hungry lips hard against mine and kissed me so passionately that I had to stop for air. The water must not have been hot enough for Alex, since he made it hotter. The steam filled the bathroom, making it difficult to see in front of us.
Alex pushed me down gently from my shoulders, his hardness making its’ way into my mouth. I took it in deep, as deep as it would go and Alex groaned loudly. I took it in and out of my mouth and stopped just as he was about to finish. I stood back up and pushed Alex down onto his knees. He spread my legs as wide as they could go in that small space and began working his magic with his tongue. His fingers followed soon after, causing a tingling feeling up into my abdomen. Alex stopped just as I was about to reach my climax, stood up and wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me up against the tile wall of the shower. His thrusts pushed me harder against the t
iles, but I didn’t care. I begged for more. He groaned as his thrusts began to quicken and he penetrated deeper and deeper inside of me. It was one of those moments that I had forgotten where I was and how small that space was. One last thrust caused me to moan as we both came simultaneously, holding each other tighter with my arms and legs wrapped around him.
Al
ex kissed me softly on the lips. “I’ve been waiting for this all day,” he said as he put me back down. I could hardly stand up. He shampooed my hair as he always loved to do and lathered my body as I washed his. After we finished showering, we went downstairs, so Alex could put something together for us to eat. He made a few sandwiches with a small green salad on the side and we called that dinner that night. After we ate, I made hot cocoa for us to enjoy by the fireplace. It was too cold to go out on the verandah, so we had been staying indoors. I had a feeling it was going to be a cold winter that year as the fall was extremely cold and rainy, not usual for California.
As we snuggled close to one another on the sofa, Alex put his arms around me and kissed my cheek, “I love you, baby. You’re the best thing that has ever
happened to me,” he confessed.
I smiled, “Y
ou’re just saying that, aren’t you?” I asked.
“
I swear to God I’m not just saying that, Claire. You really
are
the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I want to give you the world,” he replied. I could see the truth in his crystal blue eyes. I wanted to believe that Alex really loved me because there were a million women out there that he could spend his nights with, but he chose to spend them with me. He could have had a woman with more money and better looks, but he chose me. I couldn’t wrap my mind around his feelings towards me.
“I love you, Alex. You’ve helped me come a long way after what I’ve been through. If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know where I would be emotionally or psychologically right now. You have taught me to love. You have taught me to trust again. I never thought I could trust anyone ever again and look at me now,” I said, tears filling my eyes. He pulled me tighter against his body as I put my head on his chest. Alex kissed the top of my head, in
haling my damp hair. “Alex, just promise me you will always be honest with me, even if you know the truth will hurt me. No secrets, just complete honesty,” I stated.
“
I promise, baby. I will never hide anything from you ever again. You can ask me anything about my past or present and I will always give you an honest answer no matter what, but you have to do the same. No secrets, no lies. Just love and trust,” he replied.
“
I like that,” I replied as we sealed the deal with a kiss.
The phone rang just then. It was my mother. I hadn’t told her about Alex and wasn’t planning on telling her over
the phone, so I put my finger on my lips motioning for Alex to stay quiet.
“
Hi, mom,” I said, casually.
“
Hey, sweetheart. How are you doing? I haven’t heard from you since Friday, so I just wanted to know if you’re doing all right,” she said.
“
I’m good, mom. Everything is going great. I just got back from dance class and showered and I’m sipping on some hot cocoa,” I said. I wanted to keep it short before she asked about my upcoming birthday. I couldn’t lie to my mother and didn’t want to tell her that Alex had a surprise weekend getaway planned for me when she thought the man I was in love with was married to a sick woman. There was no time to explain that story on the phone that night. We continued to talk about minor, everyday things and hung up soon after.
“
You really need to tell her soon, Claire. I would hate it if my daughter was keeping something like that from me,” he said.
“
I’m going to tell her, just not over the phone,” I explained.
We headed upstairs to pack ou
r change of clothing for the following evening’s dinner and drinks with Stefano and the dance gang. After that was taken care of, we went to bed early enough, so that I could wake up with Alex’s alarm, since we had planned to carpool to work.
<><><>
Morning arrived too quickly and I had a very difficult time waking up before five o’clock with Alex. He was such a morning person and I was definitely not as happy and perky first thing in the morning, especially at the crack of dawn. I didn’t feel like applying makeup that early in the morning, so I packed my makeup bag and decided that I would fix myself up before our dinner plans.
I brewed a fresh batch of coffee as
Alex became quite impatient. “Come on, baby, I have to be in the operating room soon. I don’t want to be late,” he said.
“
I’m ready, here’s your coffee. Let’s go,” I replied and headed to work with Alex. It was very quiet at work that morning. I was the first one to arrive, which was a first for me. I turned on all the lights, brewed fresh coffee and logged on to my computer. I opened my email to find one from Mark.
Good morning Claire,
I see you and lover boy are happily ever after once again. You really trust him, don’t you? Haven’t you ever asked yourself why Angela cheated on him in the first place? Or why she turned to drugs? If she were such a happy wife, she would do neither one of those things. I just wanted to leave you with that thought for the day. Hope you have a great one.
Mark Kohler, M.D.
Orthopedic Surgery
Downtown Memorial Hospital
What a way to start an early day, I thought. Mark got exactly what he wanted. He had me thinking about all those questions he left me with. I couldn’t help but think Angela was so unhappy with Alex that she turned to another man. She was a doctor and could have just left Alex and lived a happy and financially stable life. There could be no valid reason for what she did. There were millions of unhappy women out there and infidelity and drug abuse would not be the answer to their problems. I knew Alex and I had a no secrets policy, but I didn’t know how to tell him about the odd email. I decided to print it and put it in my handbag.
Laura was surprised to see me at work so early
, since she was always there before I was. I showed her the email from Mark and her expression was similar to mine when I read it for the first time.
“
Claire, ignore this. He’s just trying to stir things up and break you up again. He’s the male version of Taryn,” she said, irritated by what she had read. “He’s such a jerk,” she added.
“
So, do you think I should show Alex?” I asked.
“
If you have a ‘no secrets’ policy then maybe you should. I think I would. Remember how upset he was the last time you didn’t mention the flowers Mark sent you?” she reminded.
“
Oh yeah, don’t remind me of that,” I said.
As I worked, I tried to get the email out of my mind by focus
ing on things. I thought about how that evening would go, with Alex and Stefano meeting. I prayed Alex would be nice to Stefano and not refer to him as ‘motorcycle guy’. It was past noon and I hadn’t heard from Alex yet, so Laura and I went to the Cuban deli for lunch. I realized that I hadn’t eaten anything that morning and had been running on one large mug of coffee. I was starving. Laura was shocked to see how quickly I ate my sandwich.
“
You’re going to give yourself some serious heartburn, Claire,” she laughed, “but I have to say, it’s good to see you eating,” she added.