Pulse 3 (Pulse Series) (20 page)

When I made my way back into my apartment,
I no longer knew what to think. I didn’t even know what to feel. Everything he did just made me care about him even more.

I fell onto my couch and couldn
’t believe everything that just happened. I lost him. And I couldn’t think of anything I could do to get him to come back.

Chapter 22

It was the end of the workweek. After the drudgery of sitting around in my cubicle at work, I welcomed the chance to finally sit around and do nothing at all. I didn’t care if it were less entertaining. I was just excited about the opportunity to finally relax without a care in the world.

I sat there on my couch to try and enjoy the rest of the night. I had some take-out ready to eat and a full line-up of TV shows to keep me occupied. After a week without seeing her,
Danica was also stopping by to give me someone to talk to.

The night proceeded just as planned. My friend arrived and the two of us enjoyed our dinner while watching everything scheduled. Afterward, we sat on the couch and enjoyed a glass of wine to wind d
own for the night.

“
So, how is it?” she asked me.

“
How’s what?”

“
What else? The new job—”

“
Oh. Right. The new job. It’s… a job.”

I shrugged my shoulders, unable to come up with any other words to describe it. The work was even more boring than it seemed. B
ut I needed something to pay my bills. As a college graduate, I was lucky to have any job at all.

“
It doesn’t sound like you’re enjoying it,” she said.

“
Well, it’s work,” I said. “You’re not supposed to enjoy it.”

“
You enjoyed your last job…”

I looked at h
er for a second and saw the smirk on her face.

“
I did,” I said. “But I couldn’t keep it up.”

“
Who would’ve thought that dating your boss would cause so many complications?”

I didn
’t talk about Rafael. I thought about him often but it was Danica who was always trying to coax me into having a discussion about him. My relationship with him was over, both as my boss and my boyfriend. He was out of my life even though he was still on my mind.

“
Do you miss him?”

“
Danica—”

“
I’m just saying. You could at least go and ask for your old job back. That wouldn’t hurt, would it?”

“
No. I can’t work around him. Not with…”

There was no point in trying to hide my feelings for him. Even though I couldn
’t admit it, Danica already knew what I was thinking.

“
It
has
been a long time though,” she said. “You’ve got a new job. You’re almost there.”

“
Almost?”

“
Yeah. Now you just need to complete the next step in moving on.”

“
Next step?”

“
Find someone else to hook-up with.”

“
Danica, that’s your solution to everything.”

“
True. But in this case, I think it’s actually the right thing to do.”

“
I’m not in the mood to hook-up with anybody.”

“
That’s because we’re sitting around in your apartment. The last hot guy you’ve seen was on your television screen.”

“
What’s your point?”

“
My point is that we should go out, see if there’s anybody out there. Once you get a new guy into your system, you’ll get the old guy out.”

“
I don’t think it’s that simple.”

“
It is. But in any case,
I
need to go out. Can we go out, Alice? Can you do this? For me?”

Danica stared at me pleadingly. She had a fake pout on her face that made me burst into laughter. I shook my head and took another sip of wine.

“No,” I said. “I don’t think it would be a good idea.”

“
Why?”

“
Because—”

“
Listen, Alice. Either you’re still in love with this guy or you’re ready to move on. It’s been two months already. Make up your mind.”

“
I can’t.”

“
I know you can’t. That’s why you need to go out there. Find someone. And if there’s something still holding you back, then you’ll have the answer you’ve been looking for.”

I thought about it for a moment. Everything Danica usually said was just to put a smile on my face.

“You know, that actually makes some kind of sense,” I said as I laughed.

“
I know it does. So, let’s go out. Tomorrow night. It’s a Saturday and you’ve got nothing else to do.”

“
Where are we going?”

“
There’s a new hot spot in town. All the people are checking it out. It’s the place to be.”

“
If you say so.”

* * *

It didn’t have the same feeling but the memories of when I would do this on a regular basis began to come back to me. There was a time when I would spend every weekend out with Danica. We would drink, look for cute guys, have a fling and then wait for the weekend to end. That time in my life ended once I graduated from college. They didn’t change just because I had gotten older though. It was because I’d finally met a man that was worth going a little bit further for.

But here I was. My best friend convinced me to
spend my Saturday night out on the town like most single women would at my age. I couldn’t deny that there was a part of me that enjoyed certain aspects of it. There were people out there for me to meet and all kinds of adventures to be had. Now it was just a matter of finding them.

I hopped into a tight pair of jeans and an equally tight t-shirt. In just a few moments, we were inside of the club and enjoying the atmosphere. The people danced on the floor to the rhythm of the music. It was all just a prelud
e to something greater. The alcohol accelerated the process and it was just a matter of time before my friend and I would join the rest of them.

I sipped the drink my friend had bought for me. The alcohol burned as it went down my throat. I was surrounded
by men and women just looking for a good time. I looked up to the second story of the club and saw just a few people sitting in the VIP section. I didn’t recognize who they were but having been in an exclusive section once before, it almost felt like I knew them.

But I was down here with the rest of the commoners. This was where I belonged. As the alcohol flowed, I began to feel more and more at home.

I leaned up against the bar and watched my friend dance with the man she had interest in. He was good-looking. There was no doubt about that. There was no shortage of men like him in the club. Now it was just a matter of figuring out whether or not the two of them had any chemistry. They didn’t need a lot. Just enough to get them through an intimate night.

I wa
s looking for a little bit more though. I didn’t think I was any better than Danica. But I knew how I felt at the moment. It would take more than just a cute face and a charming line to convince me to try and have the kind of fun everybody here was looking for.

“
How are you doing?”

I looked to my side and saw the man standing next to me. He had a charming smile on his face, his pearly whites on display. His grooming was impeccable, which made it obvious why he was out here tonight. His dark hair was combed
neatly over his head. His jaw displayed a fresh shave. Regardless of who or what he actually was, he did enough to convince anybody who looked at him that he was worth it for the night.

“
I’m doing great,” I said. “How about you?”

I smiled back at him then
hid my face behind my drink. The suave gentleman nodded his head and continued smiling at me.

“
I’m doing just fine,” he said. “So, what do you say?”

“
What do I say?”

“
You feel like getting to know me a little better?”

I raised an
eyebrow at him. He examined me with his eyes even though his intentions were obvious from the start. As forward as he was, I couldn’t think of a reason to turn him away.

“
Carl,” he said.

“
Alice.”

“
Nice to meet you, Alice.”

“
It’s my pleasure, Carl.”

I didn
’t say anything else. Instead, I took another sip of my drink and continued to look out onto the dance floor.

As I waited for Carl to make his next move, I realized how long it was since I last did this. I was open to meeting someone new. But it didn
’t feel right. I looked around and saw myself in a sea of people enjoying themselves. I felt out of place. That part of my life was over. How I felt now just confirmed that.

“
Alice… I’ve got a place just a few blocks from here. It’s a real short walk. We can get to know each other just a little bit before we… get to know each other even better. What do you say?”

Carl smiled, trying to entice me to take his offer. But my mind was elsewhere. Despite the music, the alcohol and the atmosphere, it wasn
’t enough to make me feel what he wanted me to.

“
Listen, Carl. I’m sure you’re a great guy. But I’m not looking for what you’re offering me.”

“
You don’t even know what I’m offering. I can assure you that you won’t be disappointed when you see it.”

I shook my head at him. D
espite my refusal, Carl seemed to have the same enthusiasm he had when he first introduced himself. He was still trying his hardest to sell himself.

“
Not tonight,” I said.

“
You think you’re going to find someone better than me tonight? I’ve got news for you. There are a lot of women out here looking for a good time.”

“
I don’t doubt that.”

“
Then if you’re not looking for a good time, what
are
you doing here? Why did you even bother?”

I stared at him and began wondering the same thing myself. It was just a fe
eling. That was all that I needed to know that I shouldn’t be out here.

“
I needed to know,” I said. “I needed to know…”

Carl looked at me confused. He had no idea what I was talking about. He finally gave up. Carl rolled his eyes at me and made his way to
an attractive brunette who was leaning up against the edge of the bar on the other side.

After I watched my friend on the dance floor for a few moments, I turned my back to her and rested against the bar. I finished my drink. The alcohol was in my bloodstr
eam but I was still thinking straight.

I looked across the bar and saw men and women mingling with one another. There was an empty spot there. I imagined that Rafael stood there. Just like he did when I first saw him. He was staring back at me with a sligh
t smile on his face.

I looked away from him to pretend that I hadn
’t noticed him. Instead, I turned away and waited for him to make his move. From the corner of my eye, I could feel him making his way toward me. In just a few moments, he was standing right next to me. And then I heard his voice.

“
What are you doing in a place like this?”

I closed my eyes and smiled as I recalled exactly how he sounded. I didn
’t respond to it. But it was the most enjoyable time I could remember having in a nightclub.

“
Alice?”

The voice repeated itself. It sounded so real. It was like he was here with me. I opened my eyes and looked to the side not expecting to see anything. But when I saw the man I thought I was imagining, I almost fell onto the ground.

“…Rafael?”

He smiled a
t me. He was still the same as I remembered him. The only difference was that his usual suit was replaced with a nice t-shirt and an expensive-looking pair of jeans.

“
I’m surprised you still remember my name,” he said.

“
You’re real. I mean, you’re actually here.”

“
It’s a strange coincidence,” he said as he laughed. “But it’s the hottest club in the city at the moment. Why wouldn’t I be here?”

My former boyfriend was standing right next to me. A wave of emotions washed over me and I found myself recalling al
l of the memories I shared with him. The two of us looked at one another. I had a lot to say to him but I didn’t know what to say first.