Read Protective Love (Hidden Secrets) Online
Authors: P.J. Belden
I fell asleep with the love of my life in my arms.
~KAYLA~
“Carson, I’m not feeling well. Can you take me home, please?”
“Oh
, come on, Kayla! If I take you home, that means I have to stay there with you and I really want to spend some time with the gang at the fair. Even if you have to tag along.”
He whispered the last part.
“Curry, I really don’t feel good. You don’t have to stay. I’m fourteen! Mom and dad have let me stay home alone before. I’m really not—”
Before I could finish my sentence everything in my stomach was flying out of my mouth all over the dash of Carson’s car. I puked for what seemed like hours. I was still gagging when I could feel Carson’s hand on my back. I jumped.
“I’m sorry, Kay. I’ll take you home and stay with you. I thought you were just being a pain.”
He didn’t complain about the mess in his car or the smell. He just kept talking to me soothingly and checked me every few minutes until we got home. I was so weak and my legs were shaking so much I couldn’t stand. My brother picked me up—puke covered and all—and carried me inside.
He started the bath in my room. I could smell my favorite bubble bath. The smell sudden
ly hitting me like a ton of bricks thrown at my stomach, I went running as fast as I could to make it to the toilet in time. My brother was there right behind me, holding my hair back.
“Jesus! You’re burning up! I’ll be right back. I’m calling mom and dad.”
Before I could stop him, he was gone. My stomach lurched again and again. I don’t like it at all. I hate being sick. Sickness was for the weak people. I wasn’t weak. I was a survivor. Hell, I’d picked myself up and brushed myself off more times than anyone I knew.
When my parents rushed into the bathroom, I was puking again. My mom’s small hand rubbed my back. It was both calming and terrifying at the same time. Her hand touching me actually made my skin hurt.
“
Mom, stop… that hurts,” I mumbled between puking.
They took me to the hospital
. Doctors rushed around me and talked in hush tones about tests and diagnosis. It was what I heard them say before my mom broke down and started crying. I didn’t hear anything from anyone for a while and wondered if they had all left.
“Mama? Daddy? Curry?” I croaked.
Carson was next to my bed and held my hand. When I looked up and saw the tears in his eyes, tears of my own started. I didn’t know what was going on, but I knew enough that my family was falling apart because of it.
“What’s wrong Curry?”
“You’re sick, KK. We are all very worried. You just get some sleep and we will talk when you have gotten some rest, okay?”
“Are you leaving?”
“Nothing can make me leave this room right now.”
I closed my eyes. I don’t know how long I slept, but when I woke up all my siblings and my parents were in the room. I looked around at each of them. I loved my family, but none of them knew my life anymore.
The thought caused my face to fall. I tried to move, but I was so weak, and my head was killing me. I groaned. Everyone turned and looked at me, then moved closer to the bed.
The closer everyone got to the bed
, the more I saw the sadness and tears. Something was wrong to have all my family together in one room – especially when everyone was so busy with their own lives.
“
What’s… going… on?” I struggled to get out.
My mom tried to answer, but she couldn’t. She started crying and my dad held her and tears rolled down his face as well when he looked at me. No one was telling me anything and I wanted to know. Finally, my brother Jake took my hand in his and I watched him take some deep breaths.
“Sweetie, you’re really sick. They think…” He chokes back a sob.
“They aren’t sure you are going to make it.” Eli
finished, his voice cracking as he said it.
I smiled at all of them. To say they all were shocked by my response would have been putting it mildly.
“Thank God! I’ll be free!” I whispered and closed my eyes.
The last thing I remember hearing were my brothers saying my name over and over again, but I couldn’t respond.
Finally, I was going to be free of my nightmare. Finally, I was going to have safety once again. I was ready to be free. Two years was long enough to endure the nightmare. It was finally going to stop. As everything went black around me and the noises faded away, I felt at peace. I was free.
When I woke, I found out I had been ‘asleep’ for a week and a half. Part of me hated that I was awake, but another part of me was relieved that I woke up. I didn’t want to leave my family. Maybe this would cause them to be more observant and the attacks from Alex would stop.
I had to stay in the hospital for two more weeks. I think I slept the whole time I was there. I had an infection caused by an unhealed wound. When I was asked where the cut to the back of my leg came from, I told them I didn’t know. I did know, and I wanted to tell them, but right as I was about to tell them, he walked in with Carson.
I hated my brother for being friends with him. I hated my brother for bringing him around so damn much! Most of all, I hated my brother because I couldn’t hate him or blame him for any of
the hell I’d been through. I had an amazing family and at one time we were all so very close. I wasn’t close to any of them anymore, and I think they knew it.
Weeks passed after being
sick, I was all caught up with the school, I’d missed and was working on getting ahead like I liked to be. My parents were entertaining downstairs with some friends. I wasn’t sure where my siblings were, but I sat in my room like usual working on my homework and extra credit that I really didn’t need to do. I had my headphones on, listening to my study music. It was my way of concentrating and remembering what I was studying.
Suddenly the chair
was yanked out from under me, and my chin slammed on my desk as I fell to the floor, causing me to bite my tongue. I could taste the blood in my mouth. A hand grabbed around my throat, pulling me to my feet. When his cold eyes met mine, my body stiffened in fear.
“You were going to tell them, weren’t you?”
he growled after taking my headphones off.
I shook my head and tried to answer, but he was holding me too tight. I could barely breathe
, let alone talk. The fear that was running through my body was strong and it was causing me to shake.
He threw me to the bed and I hit hard enough that I bounced off
, landing hard on the floor. I cried out at the shooting pain that shot up my spine. The pain was bad enough that I couldn’t move for a moment. When I started to move, I felt his hand on me. I had to fight. What other choice did I have, really?
He kicked me to the floor and held his knee on my throat as he ripped my sweats and underwear off me. I tried to scream and move him. It was so hard to
breathe; I knew I had to do something drastic. With all my might, I hit him where it counted. He grunted and doubled over holding himself. I gasped for air when he fell off of me. It didn’t hold him down long enough.
His fist hit my face with enough force that my head bounced off the floor.
The next thing I knew, he was above me grunting as he yet again took what he wanted from me. He held my arms firmly above my head. No matter how much I moved, I couldn’t get away. I cried. The tears never stopped him, but I couldn’t hold them at bay.
The pain was indescribable. It was like
being torn in two. An invasion of the worst kind. With every thrust, I shut down more and more. With every attack, I lost more and more of me. With every day that passed as he taunted me or hurt me, I died more and more.
He finished and threw my clothes
at me, commanding me to get dressed. I hurriedly did so – I wanted him gone. The sooner he was out of my room, the better.
I could hear someone coming up the hall. It was Carson and Eli. He sat me down at my desk and told me to act like I was studying. When the door opened, I prayed my brothers would open their eyes and see what happened.
“What the hell are you doing in here?” Eli yelled.
“Kay asked a question about her homework and I was helping her
,” he answered coolly.
I prayed that they didn’t believe him. Alex was standing in the way of them so I couldn’t see him. When they started talking about the game coming up, I knew they believed him. Soon
, they were all walking out the door together. Eli even believed him, and he didn’t even like Alex.
I cried again. The tears I cried this time were not for the act, but for what was left when he was done
- nothing. There was nothing left of me. That night showed me that no matter what, I would always be at Alex’s mercy. Everyone was in the house and no one saved me. No one looked closely enough to see what I couldn’t say. No one cared.
My door flew open and Alex strolled back over to me. I
hunched down in my chair in fear of what was about to happen. When I saw the look in his eyes, I started crying and begging.
“Not again
. Please…”
My pleas were cut short when he yanked me to standing by my hair. His fist was flying at my face again
.
I flew up in bed screaming. My breathing was fast and shallow. The dizziness was intense
, causing the room to spin. It was dark in the room and I couldn’t remember where I was. The bugs under my skin moved through me like I was still lost in those moments in my life.
“Sunshine?”
I jumped, realizing then where I was and who was talking to me. I turned slowly when he grunted while turning on a light.
“It was just a bad dream, sunshine. No one’s going to hurt you
,” he spoke softly.
“I don’t get it. I never have those dreams when you hold me. This is the second time now that I’ve
had a nightmare when I’m with you. I don’t understand,” I said, still breathless.
“I was in the bathroom when you were having your nightmare.
Actually, that was where I was both times.”
I rubbed my
head, trying to make sense of everything that was happening. It was then the smell of the room hit me. I groaned. It smelled similar to standing next to the garbage dump.
How did I sleep here for as long as I did?
I turned and looked at Jason. He must have read my mind because he soon asked if I wanted to leave.
Once we got outside
, I realized that we had 2 vehicles. As quick as I was to drop him only hours earlier, I wanted to be with him then. There was a sense of security with him. When I was with him, I didn’t feel lost or empty. It scared me with how much I needed him, but when I looked at him, part of me thought he needed me too. Maybe just a little.
“
Yeah, thanks. I’ll make sure it’s locked down and the alarm set. Later.”
I raised a brow
at him as I only caught the end of his conversation.
“I called Mary
, and she said she was just going to call the rental company to pick up the car. She just wants us to get all her stuff out for her.”
It only took a few minutes for us to get the things out of her car and into Jason’s. We walk
ed back to the office to turn in the keys and inform them about the rental company picking up the car. The girl—and I said girl because she couldn’t have been much over eighteen—behind the counter beamed as Jason walked.
No. Please don’t do it. Please don’t
… oh she did.
She pulled a strand of her hair to the front and started playing w
ith it while batting her eyelashes, giggling. I rolled my eyes. Bending down to tie my shoe, I hear the conversation take hold.
“What time do you get done working?”
“I’m sorry, what?” asked a baffled Jason.
I giggled.
“I thought maybe we could get together when you are done with your shift.”
“Uh,” he clears his throat. “I’m not on shift. I think—”
“I get off in an hour. When you take care of that,” she points down at me, “we can take off.”
I stood up and started to walk out when Jason grabbed my arm and pulled me to his side
, leaning down to whisper in my ear.
“What the hell is happening here?”
“You are being hit on, and I am the trash you need to take out so she can have her way with you,” I answered stiffly.
I could feel Jason stiffen next to me. He tipped my head up to look at him.
“Do not ever talk about yourself like that again. You are not nothing or trash as you called it. You are my everything.”
With
that, he leaned down and kissed me. I guessed he forgot where we were. Forgetting was easy when his lips were on mine. It was only one of the things I loved about his kisses. He pulled back and rested his head against mine.