Protective Love (Hidden Secrets) (21 page)

“I have to go.  I need to meet up with Eli and my dad.  You get some rest.  I will be back in a little while, okay?”

She started to get up, but I grabbed her hand.  Scooting off the bed, I stood up in front of her.  I could tell by the stuffiness in the room something changed in her and I
didn’t like it.  It was a sense I never got around her, and I really didn’t understand why it was happening right then.

I leaned down and took her lips with mine.  At first she didn’t return it and I panicked
a little.  But soon she opened her mouth and I slid my tongue inside.  Moving closer to her, she brought her arms up around my shoulders and I pulled her tighter against me.  The warmth spread through me like wildfire in a dry season.  I needed her more than I needed anyone before, but that need was not just sexual, it was emotional as well.  I broke the kiss a few moments later.

“Promise me you’ll come back, please
,” I whispered.

“I will
,” she breathed.

“I need you to promise me
,” I whispered as I looked into her eyes.

“
I will, I promise,” she whispered.

I knew that making her promise was a way to make sure she would actually come back.  The way she was before the kiss scared me.  I felt like she was closing me off
- pushing me away again.  There was no way I was losing her.  Not now, not ever.

She helped me back in bed and I kissed her one more time before she left.  The room was cold, empty
, and dark without her there.  Pulling the blankets up to my chin, I kept repeating the same thing to myself over and over again.

She’ll be back.  She promised.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

~KAYLA~

I didn’t stop walking until I got to the car.  Sitting behind the wheel, I stared out the window and let my tears fall.  The pain I feel in my chest was real; my heart was breaking.  Not because of Jason, but for him instead.  Talking with Corey made me see that I’ve made things so hard for him.  Jason was wrong - I wasn’t not strong.  If I were strong, I wouldn’t have been breaking down like that.  How I felt about him was not a lie, but how can I put that before how I am dragging him down?

Shaking my head, I pulled myself together and started the car.  When Jason
had been taken back for surgery, I promised myself to take things one day at a time and give him more of me.  He deserved more of me.  I planned to keep that promise. 

Just
as I was about to put my car in gear I noticed a piece of paper under my windshield wiper.  Rolling down my window, I reached out and grabbed the paper.

There
were a couple of things I picked up rather quickly with being in fear of Alex’s attacks all the time.  One would be to never get out of your car to get the note.  It was usually when you did that someone snuck into your car.  Just in case, I checked the backseat of my car to make sure someone wasn’t already in my car.  It was empty.  With shaking hands, I opened the letter.

Alex isn’t the only one to watch out for.  Consider yourself the
‘get out of debt card.’  I will be collecting on my debt soon.  Count on it. ~S~

I put the note in my pocket and headed to my dad’s law firm where my brother partnered with him.  I hadn’t been
there in years, but I remembered exactly where to go.  The lady at reception tried to stop me, but I kept going.  I needed to tell my dad and brother so I could get out from under this new person.

I barged into my dad’s office with the receptionist right behind me
, screaming at me.  My dad was in a meeting, but when he saw me, he was up and out of his chair in a second.   The minute his arms were around me, I broke down.

“Gerald, I’m
sorry, but I need to cut this meeting short and reschedule.  There is a family emergency I need to deal with.”

“Sir, I tried to get her to stay out, but she
-”

“Kali, this is my daughter
, and she can barge in whenever she wants.  My family has always come first.”

Soon I heard the door shut and my dad led me over to one of
the couches in his office and handed me tissues.  Sitting back, I wiped my eyes and nose, and tried to pull myself together.

“Dad, I need to talk to you
, and Eli needs to be in here too.”

Dad got up to call Eli
and I took a moment to look around his office.  It had changed a lot since I was there last.  Of course, the last time I was in there was when I was nine. 

One wall was lined with family pictures and his degree.  He had two couches and an arm chair around a coffee table.  There
were two chairs in front of his desk, and bookshelves completely full of books lined one wall.  I walked over and looked at them all. 

Reaching up, I ran my finger down one book.  It was my favorite growing up.  I smiled sadly.

“I kept that here hoping one day you’d want to come back to spend a day with me like you used to.  That day never came
,” he added sadly.

“I loved coming here.  Did you know I wanted to be a lawyer just like you?  I dreamed of working here side by side with you and Eli
,” I said, dropping my eyes to the book again and let out a sad laugh.  “I just wanted to make you proud of me.  For you to be proud to have me as your daughter,” I whispered.

“Pumpkin, you have made me so damn proud.  You could be still living at home with no job
, and I would still be so unbelievably proud to have you as my daughter.  There is nothing you can do or say to change that.”

I moved passed him and back to the couch. 
I sat back down, wrapping my arms around me and leaning forward on my legs.

“How can you be proud of me, dad?  How can Jason want to be with me?  I have let myself go so long without getting help.  I have been attacked for sixteen years
, and you’re proud of me.  I’m not even proud of myself.  I didn’t become a lawyer, I became a vet.  I didn’t get my own home.  I have temporary places until Alex finds me and I have to move again.  I have hid from the world because I’m afraid of it.  How?  How can anyone be proud of me?”

Dad moved and sat next to me on the couch.  He wrapped his arms around and held me tightly.
 

“Pumpkin, you just don’t see it do you?  You could never disappoint me.  It just isn’t possible.  I’m saddened that you didn’t tell me about this sooner
and that I didn’t notice sooner, but
you
took control and
you
fought back.  You may think that you have done nothing, but you have done
everything
just by not giving up.  My heart breaks when I see you hurt, but there is nothing in me that doubts your ability to make it through and get this sorry son of a bitch.  Soon my pumpkin, you will be free, and that wonderful man - who I know loves you - will get you all to himself with no preoccupation elsewhere.”

I stared at my dad
, shocked by what he had said.  Just as I was about to tell my father just how wrong he was, Eli walked in.  I knew it was time to tell my dad.  When I looked at him, I knew I was just about to let him down.  It was certainly going to push him over the edge, anger would come back to him, and the pity - or whatever he felt for me - would be gone.  What I had to say needed to be said then and there, so maybe then I could truly be past all of this and hopefully convince the man I’m in love with that I’m worth loving too.

Pulling out of my father’s embrace, I stood up
and they both looked at me.  I was going to blindside my brother with my news, but I still couldn’t tell him all of it quite yet.  There were two reasons really: I wasn’t completely sure of all the facts, and I was worried someone might overhear our conversation.  I took a couple deep breaths, trying to steady myself for what I was sure was going to be a battle of the wills the minute I open my mouth.

“Daddy, there are things going on that you may not be aware of.  There are trails and bread crumbs over the years that have led me to this, but in the end
, neither of you are going to be happy with me.  Eli, I know that I just talked to you yesterday, but I didn’t tell you everything.  I couldn’t.  I wasn’t sure, but after what I found today, I know, sadly that I am.”

“Will you just tell us
?”  Eli yelled. 

I knew he’d be upset that I wasn’t completely honest with him.  He had asked me several times if there was anything else he needed to know
, and I’d kept telling him no.  In my own defense, I wasn’t the type of person who accuses without the facts.  Even though this has subjected me to them as well as made me vulnerable to others, I didn’t want to say without knowing for sure.

“When I was sixteen, I was attacked badly by Alex.  He tore up my room in the struggle. 
He slammed me into my shelves and knocked everything to the floor. I tried to get away, but was constantly dragged back to him.  I fought hard that day,” I shuddered as I went back to that moment. 

When I looked at my dad, I could see his face changing as he was putting the pieces together to what day I was talking about.

“Damn it,” he whispered.

Tears welled up in my eyes when I saw my father’s face. 
It was going to be so much harder than I’d thought it would be.  He wasn’t angry like I’d expected; he was broken, and I was the one doing it to him.  I had to hurry and get everything out so I could leave.

“While Alex was
… while he… he told me something that echoed in my head for the longest time.  It was important, I knew it had to be, but I just didn’t know how important.  He said – and I quote, ‘Through one Williams, you have them all. Break one, and they all will fall.’  Now, I didn’t know what that meant at the time, but then as I sit and look back at what has happened over the past sixteen years, I understand it now.  There is more to this story than what I thought - what we thought.  I have reason to believe that the Captain Dale Day is involved in this as well.”

My dad slammed his fist down on the
table, causing me to jump.  He was up and moving to his desk when I stopped him with my hand from calling anyone.

“Daddy, you always told me to get the facts before you attack.  We need to get the facts before we do anything.  The thing is we don’t know how
high up the ladder the corruption goes, or how many people are involved.  The thing is, Alex may have initially been out for revenge on Carson, but for the past sixteen years, it hasn’t been just about his loss.  I think that people are paying him to break me so our family breaks apart because of it.  Although I don’t think that they expected me to be as strong as I have been.”

“Why do you think this?” Eli bit out through clenched teeth.

He was mad too, but there wasn’t any other way I could have handled it and they had to know that.

“A few reasons
. Alex had told me a few years back that he had the best side job in the world.  Then there is the fact of how he’s managed to stay hidden for so long, the way the Captain talked to me yesterday, and the note I found on my car this morning.”

I dug in my pocket and handed my dad the note.

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this yesterday?” Eli asked softly.

“Because I wasn’t sure then, but when I read this note
, and put all the pieces together…” I shrugged.  “It all fits together, but I need both of your help to prove it.  I don’t want Jason to know either.  He has enough on his plate because of me,” I hung my head at the end of it.

“Pumpkin, Jason being shot was not because of you
, it was for you.  He was protecting you, just as I or any of your brothers would have done.  He kept his promise in keeping you safe.  None of that is on you.  It’s all on Alex and, if you’re right, whoever else is involved.”

I took a deep breath
, because what I was about to say next was going to start one hell of a fight.  It wasn’t going to be negotiable. 

“Everything that happens or is found out, I want to know.  If I am kept in the dark at all during this
, you will not like the outcome, I promise you that.  I have not had control over my life for far too long.  Please don’t be two more men that take that away from me.”

After much arguing and debating they finally agreed.  We then got to work on
a plan of action moving forward.  It wasn’t until I looked at my watch that I realized what time it was.

“Shit! I have to go.  Just let me know what’s going on, okay?”

I gave them hugs and hurried out the door.  I didn’t want to have to buy Jason some of that nasty fast food, so I hurried home to cook.  I made one quick stop at the grocery store so I could get what I needed to make his supper.  I wasn’t sure what I had on hand at home, but when I got to my house, Mary was there to help me.

“What are you doing here?”

“I want to make Jason some food.  That hospital crap will make him worse.”

Starting to prep the ravioli for his supper, I
slipped on my apron and went about cooking supper.  I talked to Mary about everything that happened.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t stop the blush that spread across my face and down my neck when I talked about waiting for the results of his tests.

“Wait, you aren’t telling me something.  I can tell KK.  What aren’t you telling me?”

When I didn’t answer, she paused and stared at me for a moment.  A huge smile spread across her face and she hit me in my arm.

“You slept with him, didn’t you KK?  You slept with him in a hospital?”

“No, I didn’t
sleep
with him.”

“What did you do then because I know you aren’t telling me something?”

I told her what happened.  There was no way I was getting away with not telling her.  Besides, it was the first time I had ever had something to share and be sisterly about.  It was kind of nice having someone to talk to.

“
Okay, Kay, seriously, hand jobs are all fun and games Hun, but if you aren’t ready to have sex with him, well, what about oral sex?”

“What do you mean?” I whispered.

The heat was rising to my cheeks, and I knew I was blushing.

I knew it was a s
tupid question.  I knew what she meant by oral sex, but what I didn’t know was how to do it and if I even could do it.  It was definitely a weird conversation to have while I was cooking supper, but it was actually pretty interesting.

“
If you want him to be able to hold off until you are ready this might help.  He is not in the wrong for wanting more.  You are also not in the wrong for wanting to wait.  It’s kind of like a compromise for you guys.  A meeting ground if you will,” she explained while helping me pack up the food.

I quickly grabbed a few
non food items and ran out the door and headed for the hospital.