Promise of Forever (7 page)

I met his warm gaze and saw how relieved and happy he looked. But for some reason, I didn’t feel that way.

“What’s wrong, Clo?” he asked, detecting my mood.

“I guess it’s just a lot to take in right now.” I sighed.

“But aren’t you happy we can now be together?”

“Jax,” I began. I couldn’t believe I was going to say this after finding out the truth. “I need some time to think.”

“Time?” His face fell. “How much time?”

“I don’t know,” I said honestly.

“A couple of hours? A few days? A week? Ballpark,” he urged, somewhat impatiently.

“I don’t know, Jax.” I got up from the concrete steps and headed to the front door. “I just need some time to process everything.”

Without another word, I went inside and closed the door behind me.

“Chloe?” Aunt Betty’s head popped out from the kitchen. Then she saw my expression and immediately rushed over. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

She sat me down at the dining table and listened to me retell everything that’d happened in the last few days. It wasn’t until I finally finished telling her about the new letters I just read that she finally spoke.

“Honey, I know your mom’s had a hard life,” she said softly. She let out a heavy sigh before continuing, “And sometimes I do blame it on the way John had treated her.”

“You knew about them?” I looked at her in surprise.

She nodded. “Your mom met John when she was visiting here one summer. She was a free-spirit then. She was young and didn’t have a job, so she lived with us for some time. John lived next door. The house used to be his parents’ before they moved down to Florida for warmer weather. They had a short but intense love affair, and from what your mom told me, his family didn’t approve of her. John’s from a conservative family with a lot of old money and there was an expectation to find a wife with the right pedigree.”

“Pedigree?”

“Yeah, like an Ivy League education and an established family name.”

“Oh.”

“But then your mom got pregnant. At first she told me he was going to tell his parents and marry her, but after she had the miscarriage, things seemed to change. He stopped seeing her and taking her calls. And about six months later, we saw in the papers that he was engaged to the woman who’s a part of the Astor family, a rich and influential family since the 19
th
century.”

“And that’s Jackson’s mom?”

She nodded.

“So who is my father then?” I was afraid to ask but I knew there was no turning back at this point.

Aunt Betty let out a deep sigh. “Your mom was in a bad place after the miscarriage. She started drinking and doing drugs to escape. I think at some point, she found out that Jackson’s mom was pregnant, and she wasn’t able to cope with that news. Days, sometimes weeks, would go by when she would just disappear because she was out drinking, doing drugs and sleeping around. I tried to reason with her and tried to get her help, but she wouldn’t let me. It only made her disappear for longer periods of time. And then one day, she came home sober and told me she was pregnant and needed my help to stay clean because she was determined to keep the baby.”

She paused and looked at me. Tears blinded my eyes as I knew what she was going to say next.

“That baby was you, Chloe. When your mom found out she was pregnant with you, she didn’t touch a drop of alcohol or drugs. That’s how much she wanted you.”

Tears streamed down my face as I thought about what my mother had gone through, what she had felt when the man who she loved abandoned her the way he had.

“I miss her,” I said as I wiped away my tears.

“Me too, honey. She loved you very much.”

There was a long stretch of time where neither one of us spoke. Finally, it was Aunt Betty who broke the silence.

“I’m glad you know the truth now. We almost lost you a few days ago because you didn’t know it.”

I nodded.

“And now you and Jackson can work through this and start that relationship you’ve both been denying yourselves for so many years.”

“Really? Even with what happened between my mom and his dad?”

“Oh, honey. That was a long time ago. Learn from your mom’s mistakes and let go of the past. You are not your mom and Jackson is not his dad. Don’t let their mistakes come between what you and Jackson have. You two are perfect together and I know you love each other. Both of you deserve to be happy.”

“Yeah.” As much as I knew Aunt Betty was right, I couldn’t help but feel guilty for wanting to be happy with Jackson.

Aunt Betty left me to myself for the rest of the afternoon when I told her I wanted some time to think. I spent the time lying on my bed, trying to figure out what to do.

I’d held on to the idea of a future with Jackson for so many years that it didn’t even feel real anymore.
Did we really love each other? We haven’t been friends for almost a decade. So many things have happened between us since then. We may miss our childhood friendship, we may love who we used to be when we were younger, but how do we know we really love each other now? Do we need more time to be just friends to figure things out?

“I need a sign,” I whispered aloud as I looked up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling.

I got up from my bed and decided to do some laundry. That always helped me keep my mind off things. I collected some dirty clothes from the floor, checking all the pockets to make sure I didn’t wash anything I shouldn’t.

When I checked one of my jeans, I felt a piece of paper in the front pocket. I pulled it out, wondering what it was. I didn’t remember putting the paper there.

I gasped when I unfolded the paper and saw that it was a note from Jackson.

Dear Chloe,

Last night seemed like a vivid memory from our childhood, and for the first time in almost a decade, I felt that pure happiness of having you by my side return to me. It was a feeling I’d never thought was possible again. But when I woke up this morning to see you still fast asleep in my arms, I knew what I felt last night had been real, and not a dream. Right now, the sun is just starting to come out over the horizon. It’s starting to cast its pale yellow light across your face, and I am in awe with how beautiful and peaceful you look asleep next to me. I’m not sure how I lived without seeing your face for nine years.

As much as I’ve wanted to resist it, my heart has continued to reach out for you over the years. The hatred I had held onto toward you was built upon the intense hurt and love I’d always had for you. Maybe it’d been fate trying to tell me something, but earlier this week, a quote in the newspaper had caught my eye: “Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me.” It’d come at the perfect time. It’d been right after that night at the wedding reception, that night you’d poured your heart to me as I sat there ignoring you. And when I went to find you after you ran off in tears, I saw you collapse to the ground and at that moment in time, I thought I might have lost you.

It was then that I’d realized that forgiveness may be the ultimate display of love. And if I truly loved you like I’d always thought I had, then forgiveness was something I had to learn to do.

Please give me time to forgive you, and please also try to forgive me for all the times I’d hurt you, forsaken you, and disappointed you. Despite everything that’d happened between us, I am choosing to hold onto the moments that my heart cares for the most: the moments I’d fallen in love with you again and again.

Here’s to many more of those moments.

Love,

Jackson

Fresh tears stung my eyes and I reread the letter.

“What am I waiting for?” This was the sign I needed, the sign I’d asked for. “I’m also going to choose to hold onto to the moments that my heart cares for the most, Jax.”

I quickly ran out of my room and down the stairs.

“I’m going to go see Jax, Aunt Betty. Be back later,” I said as I swung open the front door and headed out toward Jackson’s house.

CHAPTER
NINE

Chloe

There was a surprised expression on his face when he opened the door and saw me smiling up at him.

“I think I just needed a few hours to think things through,” I explained.

“Really? So does this mean…? Are we…?”

I giggled. I could tell he was suddenly nervous, which sent a jolt of anxious excitement to wash over me.

“Shit. I haven’t felt so tongue-tied in my life.” He ran a hand through his dark brown hair, tossing it out of place. I resisted the urge to lean over and smooth his hair.

“Why are you tongue-tied though? It’s just me.”

“Do you really not know, Clo?” He looked at me expectantly as if he was waiting for me to laugh and admit I was pulling his leg.

I shook my head, unsure of what he was getting at. “What am I supposed to know?”

“Clo, it’s not
just
you. It
is
you. I’m tongue tied because I’m nervous. This moment has been a long time coming for me, and I don’t want to fuck it up again. I’ve loved you since I first saw you.”

“Oh.” I felt lost for words. Hearing him say he loved me at that moment was different than when he said it last night. It felt more real. Suddenly I became nervous, too. This was my best friend, but he was also a man—a very handsome, desirable man who managed to make my heart flutter with just a look and a smile.

“I guess I am trying to ask you out, but when I’d imagined this conversation happening in my head all day today, I’d thought I would be suave and charming, and you would fall head over heels in love with me before we even went on our first date.”

“I think you’ve accomplished that,” I said as I met his intense gaze. They were like pools of warm liquid, and I felt myself drowning in their bottomless depth.

He pulled me into his arms and said in a low, deep voice, “Chloe Sinclair, are you ready to be my girlfriend?”

I beamed at him. As he looked into my eyes, I just knew. Those familiar warm, green eyes that I’d longed for in the nine years we’d been apart, the same ones that made me feel at home. There were no more questions or doubt in my mind. We’d been heading this direction since we were seven.

“I’ve never been more ready.”

Our lips met in a long, tender kiss that took my breath away. The rest of the world disappeared around us as we lost ourselves in each others’ arms, finally making up for all the years we’d lost.

CHAPTE
R TEN

Chloe

I stepped out of Penn Station in New York City with a huge smile on my face. Jackson had to head back to work in New York City this past Monday. We’d been officially dating for the last two weeks, four days, and three hours—not that I’d been counting—and even though we’d only been apart for the past four days, I was surprised by how much I’d missed him.

Just then, as if he knew I was thinking about him, my phone was ringing with his number on the screen.

“Hey you!” I said excitedly as I stood in the designated line to wait for a cab.

“Hi, babe. I can’t wait to see you tonight. When are you leaving for the train station?”

“Mmm, probably not for another hour or so.” I grinned to myself as I looked around. I felt sneaky that I was already in New York City without telling Jackson. But I had a little surprise for him.

“What’s all that noise in the background? Are you outside?”

“Ohh, I’m just walking around Philly, doing some window shopping,” I lied.
Crap
, I thought and tried to cover my phone from some of the noise from the hustle and bustle of the city.

“That sounds like fun.”

“So what are you up to right now?” I asked, trying to figure out where he was.

“I’m at the office getting some work done before you get in tonight.”

“Are you guys busy today?”

“Nah. Just some paperwork. It’s Friday and it’s the summer, so half the office is gone because of Summer Fridays.”

“Summer Fridays?”

“Oh yeah, it’s when people only work a half day on Fridays during the summer. A lot of companies in New York and the area honor it because it gives people time to get to the beaches for the weekend.

“Sounds like fun. How come you’re working the whole day then?”

“Well, I did just take two weeks off work when I was back home, so I wanted to use the extra time to get some work done.”

“Oh ok. But you’re not busy right now, right?”

“No, just paperwork. So don’t worry, I’ll be all yours tonight.”

I giggled. “You better be. Well, I should get going. I’ll see you tonight?”

“I can’t wait to see you, babe.”

I smiled as I got off the phone. “You’ll get to see me a little sooner than you think, Jax,” I said to myself.

When I got in my cab, I told the driver the address to Jackson’s office.

Twenty minutes later, I was taking the elevator up to Jackson’s office.

“Excuse me, are you Chloe?” asked the man who was also in the elevator.

I looked over at and didn’t recognize him. “Yeah, I am. Have we met?”

He laughed. “No, not yet. I’m one of Jackson’s colleagues. Nick Santos. Jackson’s been talking about you nonstop at the office and he showed me a picture of you the other day. So I thought you looked familiar.”

“Oh, you’re Nick. Jackson’s mentioned you before too.”

“Jackson didn’t tell me you were coming into the office today.”

“Oh yeah. I’m surprising him.” I looked at him sheepishly. “Can you keep it a secret?”

He laughed. “Well I’m sure he’s about to find out soon.”

I giggled and nodded.

“You know, I’ve never seen him like this before. He’s never been this happy with any other girl he’s dated since I’ve known him.”

“Really?” I smiled to myself. “Thanks, Nick. Jax talks about you, too. You’re one of his closest co-workers here. He said you’ve helped him a lot.”

“Oh is that so?” He looked pleased. “I’m glad he thinks that of me.” He leaned in and whispered, “You know your boyfriend is like the company favorite among the VPs here. Harvard grad who’s modest amongst his peers but a shark in business deals for his clients—that’s hard to find—I’ve even heard the CEO joke that he’s like the Holy Grail associate.”

“Yeah, he’s amazing.” I beamed, feeling a sense of pride for Jackson. Since as long as I’d known him, he was great at everything. But being his best friend, I’d also watched him work his ass off, too. Nick was right. Jackson was always modest in front of others, and those who didn’t know him well had no idea how much work he put into everything. All they saw were the results, and Jackson was always the best at everything.

“I can tell you make him really happy,” Nick continued as the elevator doors opened to Jackson’s floor. “He’s a good guy, Chloe. Don’t let him go.”

“I won’t. I know I’m really lucky.” I stepped out of the elevator.

“So Jackson’s office is to the right, at the end of the hall,” Nick explained as we got to a hallway that went both left and right.

“Office 1568, right?”

“I believe so. His name will be next to the number. I’m on the left end of the hallway, so if you have any questions, let me know.”

“Thanks, Nick.” I smiled at him gratefully and waved goodbye as I made a right into the hallway.

Just before I got to the door to Jackson’s office, I smiled. His office door was opened, but I could hear him talking on the phone with a client.

When I heard his call end, I reached for my cellphone and stepped into an empty cubicle and called him.

“Hey, babe,” he said when he picked up. “Miss me already?”

I giggled softly. “Yeah, I really do. What are you up to right now?”

“Still in the office doing some paperwork. Why are you whispering?”

“Am I?” I asked, playing coy. “So you know how you said you can’t wait to see me when we talked earlier?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you mean it?” I asked with a smile on my face.

“Do you even have to ask me that?” he asked with a light laugh. “I’m dying to see you tonight.”

“So does that mean there’s something else you rather be
doing
than your paperwork?”

I heard a sharp intake of breath on his end and I smiled. He knew exactly what I was suggesting. For the past two weeks since we’d been dating, we acted like innocent teenagers and hadn’t made love yet. Jackson had insisted on taking things slow. But being away from him all week, I didn’t think I could wait any longer to be with him.

“Don’t you think we’ve waiting long enough, Jax?” I asked when he didn’t respond. “I mean, haven’t you missed me all week? Don’t you want to be doing…me?”

“I think you’re right,” he said, almost panting. “If you were here, I would show you just how right you are.”

“How would you show me?” I whispered seductively.

“You’d have to wait and see,” he flirted back.

“I heard you’re a pretty hard worker around here. Would you work just as hard when you’re doing me?”

His breathing grew heavier over the phone. “No. I’d work even
harder
.”

“Is that a promise?”

“Fuck yeah.”

I let out a soft moan so he could hear how excited I was at this promise.

“Fuck, Clo. I wish you were here already. Have you gotten on the Amtrak yet?”

“No, not yet.” I stifled a giggle and felt relieved that he didn’t know where I was right now. “If I was there already, what would you be doing to me?”

“If you were here right now, baby, I’d grab your hand and make you feel how hard you’ve made me.”

I slowly drew in an uneven inhale of breath and I felt my stomach flip in excitement. I walked quickly to the door of his office. “What would you do next?”

“You’re killing me here, Clo,” he groaned.

“Want to know something, baby?” I whispered into the phone.

“What?”

“I’m wearing a dress today and I forgot to put on any panties.”

I smiled with satisfaction when I heard him inhale sharply.

“And,” I continued, “I’m already really wet thinking about how hard you’d feel…not in my hands, but deep inside me.”

“My God, Clo.” He started panting more heavily. “If you were here, I’d torture you like you’re torturing me now. I’d tease you slowly. First with my fingers because they’ll want to explore you and make you dripping wetter than you are now. Then, my mouth and my tongue will get jealous, so they’ll need to taste every inch of you. But I wouldn’t let you come. I’d wait until you’re begging me to fuck you before I make passionate love to you.”

I let out a low moan and said, “What if I started begging you now?”

“Don’t tease me, woman! If you were here now, you wouldn’t need to beg because I’d be all over you before you can even say the word, ‘beg.’” he grunted in frustration, causing me to smile triumphantly.

I got to the opening of his opened door and saw that he was in his chair facing the window directly across from the door.

“Beeeeg,” I said into the room with a slow, seductive voice.

He immediately jumped and whipped around, his eyes surprised and filled with a raw need that I hadn’t seen before.

“Baby, I don’t think I’ve needed anyone more than I need you right now.” He stood up and I gasped as my eyes grew wide at the sight of his erection through his pants.

I walked inside his office and immediately closed the door behind me. “So does this mean you don’t want to take it slow anymore?” I flashed him a coy smile. All of a sudden, I felt nervous and giddy. It was as if I saw him for the very first time. He was tall, handsome, with an olive complexion and rich green eyes.

“We’ve taken it slow for over twenty-three years,” he said as he walked toward me and found my waist. He pulled me into him and kissed me deeply. When he pulled away, he groaned, “We can’t take it any slower.” The hot breath of his deep, raspy voice tickled the sensitive skin on my neck and I arched my chest toward him in desire.

I felt his strong, callused hands push down the spaghetti straps of my dress, revealing my sheer ivory bra. He slowly slid my dress down my body, lingering inch by inch as he watched me become increasingly impatient under his touch. He then unhooked my bra, and when my breast spilled out into his hands, he inhaled sharply, his eyes blazed with lust as they took in my nakedness.

“You’re so fucking hot.” He massaged my breasts with both hands and guided them into his mouth, one at a time, savoring them slowly. I gasped as his mouth inhaled me, his tongue eagerly flicking and nibbling on my hard, excited nipples.

“Baby, it’s my turn to taste you,” I moaned. I grabbed him and pushed him around and up against the frame of the door. I got down on my knees and grabbed his erection with my hand. “Tell me you’re ready for me, Jax,” I purred as I felt the power of his rock-hard shaft with my grasp.

“Fuck, baby. You’re killing me.”

I could see the frenzy in his eyes as I gently traced the outline of his cock with my fingertips. I looked up at him and watched his reaction to my every move, relishing in the growing desire that spread across his twisted face. Without warning, I wrapped my lips around him and slowly and eagerly inhaled the entire length of his cock.

His head jerked back in pleasure and he let out a loud, primal roar as my tongue worked its way up and down the back side of his cock in unison with my lips. He watched me move up and down him, his eyes glowed with smoldering pleasure as I moved more rapidly around his erection.

“Clo, you feel amazing,” His voice was strained as he convulsed each time my tongue reached the tip of his cock. “I can’t hold on much longer and I need to fuck you bad,” he groaned hoarsely.

Instead of stopping, I moved up and down the length of his cock faster and deeper as I began to deep throat him.

“Fuck, you’re pushing me over the edge soon!”

Then I stopped. “No. I want you to make love to me now and come inside me,” I demanded.

Without waiting another second, he pulled me up and lifted my legs up around his waist and carried me to his desk. In one swift movement, he pushed his paperwork off the desk and laid my back on top of his cool, mahogany desk. “You planned to surprise me like this because you knew I wouldn’t be able to resist you.”

I gave him a devious smile. “Mayyybe…” I giggled. “I’ve been pleasuring myself all week while I thought about you and missed you. I just couldn’t wait any longer.”

“Me either, baby. Now it’s my turn to pleasure you,” he said in a low, hoarse voice.

I writhed under his touch as I felt his hands slowly run up the length of my legs—from my ankles to my knees to my inner thighs, where I felt his thumbs linger at the edge of my opening. Our eyes met, and as he held my gaze, he moved my feet up to the edge of the desk and spread my knees wide before him.

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he groaned when he saw my pussy. His. He lowered his face down between my legs. Then he looked up at me and I saw his eyes roll back in pleasure as he inhaled me deeply. Then he spread my knees farther apart, and I gasped as his mouth began to devour me, causing my whole body to quiver in pleasure. He licked and sucked and tasted me, and before long, I arched my convulsing body against his tongue and found my release.

“Wow. That was amazing,” I said with a sigh as I pulled him up to kiss me, my lips tasting my juices on his mouth. “I love the way I taste in your mouth.”

“I love the way you taste in my mouth, too.”