Promise Me Darkness (37 page)

“I’ll scream if you touch me,” my voice quivered.

“I’ll make sure you do,” he said huskily, desire dripping with every word.

My mouth went dry. Heat filled my insides.

“Ryder…”

His hands snapped out, grabbing my upper arms. I cried out at his fierceness. Yanking me toward him, his mouth covered mine, taking what he wanted, giving so much back in return. Large, work roughened hands moved to grasp my wet hair as his lips claimed me as his own.

I had missed his touch so much that I couldn’t get enough. My hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer. The persistent I–need–Ryder ache screamed to be fulfilled. Deepening the kiss, his tongue slipped inside — pushing, punishing, crushing me.

I moaned as his hands slid underneath my shirt, grabbing my bottom roughly. He squeezed once before gathering a fistful of my panties, feverishly tearing them off with one jerk. I gasped as his hand moved back to my bare bottom.

“I want you like this. Bare for me.”

Warm lips moved down to my ear, kissing the sensitive spot right below the lobe. His teeth nipped at my skin and his fingers caressed my bottom. I couldn’t hold back a shudder as his hands roamed higher up my back, pushing my shirt up along the way. In one motion, he pulled the shirt off and flung it across the room, leaving me naked in front of him.

“Perfect,” he growled.

His lips moved to my collarbone as his hands grasped my hips. I sucked in a breath as one large hand moved across my stomach possessively.

Leaning down, he placed his mouth on my breast, causing a wave of sensation to shoot through me. A soft moan escaped before I grabbed hold of his hair and tugged.

“I love when you pull my hair.” His warm breath brushed across my nipple, teasing me.

Dropping to his knees, he kissed his way from my breasts to my stomach. Warm hands played along my waist as his tongue darted out to lick my hipbone lightly.

“I’m here, Maddie, on my knees. For you. Only you,” he rasped, looking up at me.

I almost came undone when his hand moved lower until it was between my legs. His fingers started to caress me, lightly at first but then with more urgency. I cried out when the first stirrings of an orgasm hit my body hard. His eyes burned up at me, watching me, as his hands continued their torture.

Wanting more, I yanked his shirt over his head and threw it across the room. My hands went back to his bare shoulders, holding onto him as his touch made me weak in the knees. Abruptly, he stood up, his fingers leaving me. Cupping my bottom, his mouth returned to mine, demanding and hard. He hauled me flush against him, the hardness in his jeans pushing into me, begging to be free. My fingers moved frantically down to release him.

“No. Not yet,” he whispered against my mouth, moving my hands away.

I sighed in disappointment only to feel elation again when a hand cupped my breast. His thumb ran over my nipple, oh so slowly. My hand skimmed along the muscles lining his abdomen. A hiss escaped from him when my fingers moved down to trace along the top of his jeans. Without warning, he shoved me back on the bed.

I watched anxiously as he slowly crawled up the mattress, stalking me with a fiery look in his eyes. A basic carnal need rushed through me as he got closer
.

Without taking his eyes off of mine, he leaned down and kissed my stomach tenderly. From there his lips brushed against my ribcage then under each breast. Without breaking eye contact with me, he took a nipple in his mouth. His tongue darted out to tease me, driving me crazy with pleasure. I arched my back beneath him, my hands tangling in his hair.

His lips left my breast to move to my collarbone then to the hollow in my neck. His hot tongue licked the sensitive spot before moving to the side of my neck. As his body slowly made its way up mine, the roughness of his jeans rubbed against my naked body, making the already sensitive nerve endings come alive. I let him nudge my legs apart gently as his mouth sucked at my earlobe.

“I’ve missed you,” he said in my ear. “God, I’ve missed you so much.”

One of his hands traveled down my side as the other wove through my hair.

“I can’t get enough of you,” his voice rumbled as his lips left a wet path along my jawline. “I’ve been in misery without you.”

His fingers moved down between my legs. I sucked in a breath as he teased me without mercy.

“I want you, Maddie. Forever.”

I didn’t hesitate.

“I’m yours, Ryder. Forever.”

His lips hungrily covered mine, never getting enough. As he ravished my mouth, he reached down to unzip his jeans, pushing them down just enough to free himself. My legs wrapped around his jean–covered hips quickly. With one thrust, he was inside me. I let out a cry at the same time he let out an animalistic growl.

His hands knotted in my hair, holding me tight as he started moving, withdrawing slowly only to plunge back into me, burying himself deeply.

I opened my eyes to find him watching me. My teeth bit into my lip when he rocked into me. Lowering his head, he nibbled on my lower lip and ran his tongue over the place my teeth left a mark.

I moaned and reached out to grab the tangled sheets underneath me, needing to hold onto something. His hand answered the call by entwining his fingers with mine as his hips drove into me.

“Maddie!” he moaned against my arched neck. "God, baby. You feel amazing."

I tugged his head down so that my lips could find his ear. He thrust into me faster as I sucked at his earlobe. With one hand, he grabbed both of my wrists and held them above my head, leaving me at his mercy. Leaning down, he took my nipple into his mouth.

“Mine,” he growled against my skin, plunging in and out of me.

The orgasm hit me without warning. I arched my back and cried out, the sensations too much to handle.

The waves were still crashing over me when his hips slammed into me hard. He threw his head back and roared as the orgasm rocked his body. Thrusting into me one last time, his body went rigid.

We were both breathing hard as the aftermath pulsed through our bodies. Holding himself off of me on his elbows, he looked down at me, still buried deep inside.

“You okay?” he asked with concern. “Did I hurt you?”

“No. Not at all.”

“Are you sure? Holding you down like that…”

“Ryder, I’m fine. You would never hurt me.”

“I would rather die,” he said, hoarsely. “You need to know that. I would die for you, Maddie.”

Tears gathered behind my eyes. “Ryder, I don’t want you to die for me. I just want you to kiss me.”

He complied, kissing me tenderly, leaving me breathless all over again. He kissed me first on one shoulder and then along my collarbone, taking his time. I ran my fingers through his hair, loving the feel of his lips on me.

When he rolled away and gathered me close, I knew that he would never let me go again.

~~~~

Loud thunder woke me during the night. Lightening flashed, illuminating the room and chasing away the darkness. The rain pounded hard against the house and the wind blew violently beyond the window.

I was alone in bed. The other side was empty and cold.

Ryder was gone.

Uncertainty rushed through me.
Tonight had felt different somehow but was I reading more into it again? Had he got what he wanted and escaped to his own bed, leaving me alone once more?

I hurried out of bed and shut the window against the rain. Picking my shirt up from the floor, I pulled it on quickly, blushing at the memory of Ryder yanking it off of me. Just the thought had my insides heating all over again.

Running a hand over my flat stomach, I imaged his baby resting there, protected.
Maybe I should tell him now
.

A loud crack of thunder made me jump in fright. I was still haunted by the memories of Greasy’s attack. That day would live in my mind forever no matter how much I tried to forget it. Trying to control my fear, I went in search of Ryder. I didn’t want to be alone anymore.

The hallway was pitch black but the occasional flashes of lightening lit the way. I found Ryder sitting in the darkness, wearing only his worn jeans. A shot–glass hung loosely in his hand, the drink forgotten as he watched the rain through the windows.

“Ryder?”

“What are you doing awake?” he asked quietly before tossing back his drink.

“The storm woke me up.”

Setting the glass on the coffee table, he took my hand and gently pulled me to stand between his long legs.

“Why are you in here?” I asked.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he said, watching me with a wary expression. “I’m scared shitless.”

“Of what?” I asked, surprised.
The Ryder that I knew wasn’t afraid of anything.

His eyes raked over my body slowly.

“You.”

I swallowed past the sudden lump in my throat. I didn’t want to have another knockout fight with him about love or relationships. Not after what we shared tonight.

“Ryder, I don’t want to do this.” I pulled my hand out of his and turned to leave as tears threatened. I couldn’t listen to this again with his baby nestled innocently in me.

He reached out and grabbed my hand quickly before I could get very far. “Come here,” he said, softly.

I hesitated a second before crawling into his lap. Holding my head with both hands, he looked into my eyes. I saw worry and uncertainty reflected back at me. Pulling me closer, he brushed his lips against mine. My fingers automatically laced through his hair as his hands moved possessively over my hips.

“You are my everything, Maddie,” he whispered against my mouth. “God only knows why you want me but I’m glad you do.”

Pulling back, I saw apprehension in his eyes. “Ryder, I need you. This…” I motioned between the two of us, “This is what I want. You and me. It’s that simple.”

He glanced away nervously. “I don’t deserve you, Maddie.”

I opened my mouth to argue but my eyes glanced down at his naked chest instead. Suddenly, I wanted to touch the ink that ran beneath his skin. With feather–light touches, my fingertips brushed over the tattoo at his shoulder. I traced it down his side, over the hard muscles of his stomach and around to where it disappeared on his hip. With my touch, he became wild and untamed. The tender moment was gone.

His lips savagely captured mine as he pulled me to straddle his lap. When his tongue pushed into my mouth, I gasped with desire. Warm hands tightened on my bottom, pulling me closer. I felt him under me, hard and powerful, proving how much he wanted me again.

He slowed the kiss down, becoming gentler as one of his hands moved up to tangle in my hair. Breaking the kiss away, his eyes looked at me with intensity.

“I love you, Maddie.”

My heart stopped.

I could no longer hear the thunder outside or the hurricane–like force of the rain against the house. All I heard were those three words.

“I’ve loved you since I was a snot–nosed kid chasing you around the farm. I’ve just been too much of a chicken to tell you.”

“But you said you didn’t love me,” I whispered in disbelief.

“I’ve never said I didn’t love you. Not once," he said, surprise crossing his face. "I’ve always loved you, Maddie."

“But all the times you told me that you don’t fall in love…"

"I lied. I fell in love with you."

His warm fingers reached beneath the hem of my shirt to caress my hip.

“Maddie, you have to understand that I’ve never said I love you to anyone. I was scared that if I admitted it, I would screw everything up between us and lose you forever.” His voice dropped. “I was an asshole for hurting you.”

Leaning over, he kissed the corner of my mouth. “You’re all I need and want. Just you. Now and always.”

His lips moved hungrily over mine. I kissed him back with more love and passion than I thought was possible.

“I want to sleep next to you forever,” he whispered. “I want to have babies with you and grow old next to you.” Taking my face in his hands, he looked deep into my eyes. “I’m yours, Maddie and I’ll love you for the rest of my life.”

Tears of happiness fell down my cheeks. I couldn’t have stopped them if I tried.

“I love you, Ryder. I always have.”

“Don’t cry, Maddie. I hate to see you cry,” he said, wiping my tears away with his fingertips.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that…I’ve wanted to hear you say those words for so long.”

“I should have told you sooner. I was a damn stubborn fool.”

He started placing soft kisses on my jawline, moving down to my neck. The tears disappeared. My body was on fire. I closed my eyes as his lips explored every inch of my neck and his hands moved underneath my shirt. I gasped when his thumb grazed over my breast, slow and leisurely. Moving back to my lips, he kissed me with a renewed passion, full of need. His hand continued to torment my breasts as his tongue ravaged my mouth. The storm raged outside but we didn’t care. Our only awareness was of each other.

I considered telling him about the baby but decided against it. I wanted to be absolutely sure I was pregnant. With everything that had happened, maybe I was just late. I had heard that could happen to women. Until I knew, I would enjoy this moment. It wasn’t every day that Ryder Delaney admitted he loved me.

~~~~

Morning sickness woke me up sometime later. Lying in bed, I breathed deeply, trying to control the sickness. When the nausea became too much, my eyes flew open. Within a second, I was out of bed and running for the back door. The early morning chill hit my bare legs as I raced down the porch steps. When I reached the dew–covered grass, my stomach emptied. The wet grass squished under my bare feet but it didn’t matter. My body shook violently as the nausea hit me again with more force.

I prayed that Ryder wouldn’t wake up to find me like this. He would become crazy with worry if he saw me this sick.

After there was nothing left in my system, I brushed my teeth quickly and crept back to the bedroom. Ryder was still asleep, taking up most of the bed. The sheet barely covered him as it lay low on his waist. Sprawled on his stomach, the tattooed muscles of his back appeared as sharp angles and defined shapes. Even in sleep, he looked dangerous and unapproachable.