Promise Me Darkness (30 page)

“You had to search for liquor?” I teased with a smile. “I thought the almighty Ryder was always prepared for a party.”

“Looks like I’m missing out on one now.”

It was my turn to be shocked when he sat the cups down and took off his hat. His eyes held mine as his shirt and shorts followed. My mouth formed a little ‘O’ as his boxer shorts disappeared next.

Never taking his eyes off of me, he stalked toward the creek, his stride slow and purposeful. I swallowed hard at the sight before me. He had the body of a Greek God and the ink of a perfect badass.

Within seconds, he was beside me, causing the water to ripple around us. Clasping my waist, he yanked me against him, knocking the breath out of my lungs. My eyes rounded at the feeling of his erection against my stomach, hard and ready. He stared down into my eyes a second before his mouth descended on mine with hunger.

My arms had a mind of their own as they wrapped around his neck, lightly running over the hair laying on his nape. His hands traveled slowly up my ribcage, stopping beneath my breasts to caress me. His mouth became frantic, forcing my lips open. I couldn’t resist biting him playfully as his tongue darted between my teeth. A deep growl vibrated from his throat as I took his tongue into my mouth, sucking on it gently.

I gasped when one of his hands moved to cup my breast, flicking a thumb across my nipple. Frantically breaking off the kiss, he lifted me up so that my breasts were even with his mouth. Taking a nipple, he wrapped his lips around it, gently at first but then harder, with more urgency. I gasped and grabbed his hair, my fingers threading through the silky strands. His lips moved to my other breast and gave it just as much attention, licking and bitting to the point I thought I would scream with the intensity.

He lowered me, his lips going back to take my mouth again. As his tongue invaded my mouth roughly, he wrapped my legs around his waist. Fingers pushed against my bottom, bringing me closer to his hardness.

“I’ve missed you beside me at night,” he said, his lips moving to my ear, nipping at my earlobe. “I lay awake wanting you. I go to sleep dreaming of you.”

I grabbed his hair and pulled his lips back to mine, kissing him deeply with a need that could never be fulfilled.

As his lips conquered mine, he lifted me up effortlessly. Excruciating slow, he lowered me onto him, inch by inch under the water. I gasped as he stretched me, filling me completely.

His mouth left mine to look deep into my eyes. In those blue depths, I saw desire so strong, I wanted to start moving on him. His hands held my hips still as he moved in for another kiss. His lips smashed against mine, taking what he wanted. I threw my head back as the sensation of him deep inside of me ran from my head to the tips of my toes. His lips grazed my neck, biting me gently, making the torture, oh, that much more blissful.

He clasped my hips hard, still refusing to let me move as he pulsated deep inside of me.

“Ryder…” I pleaded, begging to end the exquisite torture.

He moaned low against my throat, the sound vibrating through my body. “You feel so right, Maddie,” he whispered in a husky voice.

When I started to whimper in frustration, he started moving, his hips pulling away before thrusting hard. I grabbed his shoulders, holding on tight as the waves of ecstasy washed over me. As my hips moved up and down on him, his hands reached for my breasts again.

The fever his fingers caused pushed me over the edge. I moaned loudly as the orgasm hit me full force. This time, he didn’t try to stifle my cries with his mouth.

I opened my eyes to find him watching me. Biting my lower lip, I blushed. That seemed to cause a frenzy in him. He started pumping into me harder, watching as my tongue licked the spot on my lower lip where a second ago my teeth had been. His fingers knotted in my hair, yanking my face closer. His mouth slashed across mine, his tongue thrusting into my mouth to taste me.

“I’m going to come inside of you again, Maddie,” he whispered against my lips as his body pumped in and out of me. “Because you’re mine. Only mine.”

I nodded, willing to agree to anything he wanted as his body ravaged mine. One hand grasped my hip firmly as his other hand stayed tangled in my hair. When he threw his head back and groaned, I couldn’t resist kissing his neck, letting my tongue lightly touch his hot skin.

“Shit!” he moaned low in his throat, panting.

When he thrust faster, I instantly came again, letting out a cry when everything in me shattered. He shouted as his body bucked beneath me, reaching for his own release.

His lips moved to my ear. “I love you, Maddie,” he whispered in a strained voice as he pounded hard into me one last time before filling me.

My body instantly went still.
He loved me?

His lips softly kissed mine as his fingers stayed threaded through my wet hair. The kiss was so gentle, so unlike all his frantic, sexual charged kisses that I felt tears threaten at the tenderness.

Pulling away, he ducked his head under the water. A second later, he popped above the surface, slinging his wet hair back and causing water to fly in all directions. I swallowed hard at the sight of his muscular chest above the water. I wanted to run my hand over those tattoos, following them around his shoulder, down his chest, and lower.

“Let me take a bath then I’ll take you back,” he said, matter–of–factly.

What? That’s all he had to say after telling me he loved me?

I stood, dumbfounded, as he started to soap his body down. My mind couldn’t quite wrap around the fact that he loved me. My heart was still pounding and his words just made it beat faster.

When had he changed his mind? And why was he acting like it wasn’t a big deal?
We needed to talk about this, but first, I needed some clothes. Talking while in the nude wasn’t a smart thing to do around Ryder.

I was pushing my way through the water to get out when his fingers wrapped around my upper arm. He didn’t say anything but his eyes searched my face, looking for something.

“I’m going to get out. I’ll wait for you inside,” I said, trying to keep my mouth shut and not blurt out all the questions I had.

He nodded but his eyes were penetrating, trying to look deep inside of me. Finally, he let go of my arm, releasing me from his scrutiny. I turned my back and walked to shore, not really caring if he saw me naked or not.

I quickly gathered my clothes and ran inside to get dressed. My broken finger needed a new splint but I wasn’t worried about it right now. I threw my clothes on and braided my long hair. Taking a seat at the kitchen table, I absently ran my hand over the wooden tabletop as I waited for him.

So how would I start this conversation?
I needed to hear him say that we were much, much more than friends now. I wanted him to say that for the first time in his life, he was in love.

The back door opened and butterflies took flight in my stomach. He was wearing only shorts, leaving his tanned chest bare, glistening with water. His eyes burned into mine as he walked past me. I watched him leave the kitchen silently. Standing up, I smoothed down my shirt in a nervous gesture.

I found him in his bedroom, pulling on a new pair of boxer shorts. My face reddened at the sight.

He looked up at me, not at all surprised to see me standing in his doorway.

“You okay? You look worried.” Without waiting for my response, he turned to his closet and started rummaging around for something.

I couldn’t believe his lackluster attitude!
Minutes ago he said he loved me.
Did he forget? Did he not realize how huge this was?
I assumed that if he ever felt this way about me, he would be more…I don’t know…affectionate after declaring his love. Apparently, I was wrong.

He started to pull on clean shorts, watching me carefully as I took another step into the room. His blue eyes held nothing. No tenderness or love lurked there.

“Ryder, you said you loved me.”

Staring at the floor, he ran a hand through his hair, causing the ends to stick up all over. Taking a deep breath, he looked at me.

“Maddie…hell,” he muttered under his breath.

He sat down on the edge of his bed, his stomach muscles rippling with the movement. His tattoos twisted and flexed as he put his head in his hands and rested his elbows on his knees.

I suddenly had a bad feeling.

“It was just something I said. I was coming. You felt good on top of me. It just came out. Guys do that shit. Blurt things out because the sex feels so good. Half the time, they don’t mean it,” he said, looking up at me with bleak eyes.

A feeling of despair squeezed my heart and wouldn’t let go.
Oh, Jesus! How could I be such a fool?
For the third time, I had slept with him knowing I was still nothing to him except a friend. Used and stupid, that was me. The thought filled me with outrage.

“So what you’re saying is you DON’T love me. You were just enjoying yourself and it just, I don’t know, slipped out on accident?”

Ryder ran a hand through his hair again. Standing up, he started pacing around his bedroom only to stop and yank a shirt off of a hanger, pulling it on quickly, his movements angry.

Stalking over to me, he stopped feet away and placed both hands on his hips.

“I told you that I don’t do relationships and I don’t fall in love.”

I flinched, the words cutting like knives. Feeling delirious with hurt and anger, I turned on my heels and hurried out of the room. I couldn’t be in the same house with him anymore.

I was almost to the front door when he grabbed my arm, swinging me around to face him. I looked up into those blue eyes and my heart broke in two. He might deny it all he wanted but I was just another notch in his bedpost. I died a little at the thought.

“Don’t touch me, Ryder.”

The blood drained from his face.

“Don’t leave,” he said, his throat working hard to swallow.

I yanked my arm away from him, the hurt and anger ripping at my insides. “Why can’t I leave? You got what you wanted, right?”

“Maddie…”

“You don’t want a relationship? Fine! I’ll make it easy on you. Don’t come near me again!” I threw over my shoulder as I flew out the door and down the steps.

Ryder followed one step behind me, barefoot. I shifted away from him when his hand snaked out to grab my arm again.

“You can’t just walk away! Damn it, I never wanted to hurt you!”

“TOO LATE!” I shouted.

Grasshoppers jumped out of my way as I ran down the dirt road. The heat was oppressive, pushing down on me like a blanket and making it hard to breath. Or maybe it was just the hurt shredding my heart into a million pieces that made it hard to breath.

“STOP!” he bellowed.

I stopped, keeping my back to him. My breathing was rapid and my hands were shaking. A burning sensation rushed into my face, either from the sun or from my boiling blood, I didn’t know.

I kept my eyes focused on his chest when he moved to stand in front of me. I couldn’t look into his face and see regret or pity. That would be the death of me.

“I’m sorry,” he said in a rugged voice. “God, I’m sorry, Maddie! Don’t push me away.”

The tears fell. My heart now lay shattered.

“I should have known that I was just a plaything for you! Something to fill your time! Or maybe I was simply a challenge. Is that it, Ryder? Whatever it was, I hope you had a good time because it isn’t happening again!” I cried, tears blurring my vision and running down my cheeks.

“You’re not…” His voice broke but I couldn’t listen to him, not anymore.

“I can’t do this anymore! I’m going home. To MY home!” I moved around him and started down the road again. I was going to pack my dad’s things and we were going home. We would figure out how to survive on our own and be just fine. I couldn’t be near Ryder anymore. It was impossible to resist him so I had to leave. Maybe then my heart could heal.

“You’re not going home!” he shouted, following me. “You want to see me pissed, just try to leave! If I have to, I’ll tie your ass down!”

“You have no right to tell me what to do!” I shouted back, wiping the tears away as I walked quicker.

“Really? I have no right to tell you what to do? How about all the fucking times I’ve saved your butt?”

He was fuming mad but I continued walking.

“And how about the fact that I came inside of you two times?” he shouted.

I turned around to stare at him in astonishment.

“What?” I asked in shock.
Where was he going with this?

He walked over to me, stopping an inch away. “What if you are pregnant? If you’re carrying my baby, I think I have a right to be concerned about you.”

I saw red. A hazy, madness infused, lost–my–mind kind of red. A lock–me–up–and–throw–away–the–key kind of red. Without thinking twice, I pulled back my fist and let it fly.

When my hand connected with his jaw, pain radiated up my arm from the impact on my broken finger. I saw stars and blackness pushed around my vision. Pulling my hand close to my chest in agony, I wavered on my feet.

“Shit!” Ryder exclaimed, reaching out to grab one of my arms and keep me on my feet. “Are you okay?”

The punch I landed on him was forgotten as he pulled my hand away from my chest to inspect it for damage. I cringed with excruciating pain when his fingers lightly touched the uncovered digit.

“Damn, Maddie, do you hate me that much?” he muttered under his breath, his hurt eyes flickering up to mine before examining my hand again.

I opened my mouth to tell him that I didn’t hate him; I hated what he was doing to me but loud cussing cut me off.

Gavin was jogging toward us, looking shocked. “What the hell is going on?” he asked, out of breath.

“Maddie just nailed me,” Ryder said, letting go of my hand to rub his jaw. His blue eyes blazed down at me but not with anger or frustration. Just sadness and regret.

“You probably deserved it,” Gavin said, turning to me. “You okay, Maddie?”

“Can you just take me home, Gavin? To my home?” I asked shakily, avoiding Ryder’s eyes.