Promise Me Darkness (25 page)

Without thinking twice, I closed the distance between us. I just needed to be near him. I needed his touch.

He looked stunned as I reached up and pulled his head down. My lips met his with hunger. As his hands glided down to my hips, I opened my mouth slightly, inviting him to enter. His tongue slipped inside to stroke against mine. One of his hands cupped my bottom and drew me closer.

“What’s this?” he asked against my lips.

“Me taking charge.”

His lips took over, hungry for more. I threaded my fingers through his hair as he held me against him.

“What happened to ’we can’t do this again’?” he murmured against my mouth.

I managed to get an answer out despite his hands slowly trailing up my back.

“It’s just a kiss, Ryder.”

“It’s never just a kiss with you, Maddie. It’s so much more.”

His kiss deepened, a groan escaping from deep in his throat. His hands ran beneath my hair, cupping my head, as his lips turned gentle on me. With one last kiss, he gently set me away from him. Staring at me with forced restraint, he took a deep breath. I saw him slowly bring himself back under control. We stared at each other, both of us wanting the other. We were fighting it, this hunger between us. And we were losing.

Without a word, he turned away and walked into the closet. I let out the breath I had been holding and ignored my body screaming to be touched.

"So Brody found a shit load of guns and ammo hidden in here," his voice said, sounding muffled in the closet. A minute later, he walked out and laid a pistol on the bed. “I need to know you will be safe before I go.”

“Where are you going?” I asked, my desire replaced with concern.

“I’m going to make sure that man left.” He picked up the pistol and started to load it. “I want you to keep this gun on you at all times.” After it was loaded, he held the pistol out to me. “Remember what I taught you — don’t hesitate and shoot to kill.”

I looked at it with distrust. Ryder and my dad insisted I learn to use a gun from a young age. Ryder had spent many Saturday afternoons shooting targets with me. As a little girl, I went hunting with my dad often but targets and deer were not the same as a human.

“I won’t shoot a person, Ryder.”

His eyes became hard as he waited for me to take the gun. “You can and will if someone is hurting you, Maddie. Hesitate a second and it will be too late. All it takes is one shot to the chest and you’ll be safe.”

I took the gun reluctantly, studying it as it lay in my hand.

“Maddie,” he paused, waiting for me to look up, “promise me you’ll protect yourself.”

I nodded numbly, feeling the weight of the pistol in my hand.

“I’ll be back soon.”

He left, leaving me alone.

I stood in a stranger’s bedroom holding a loaded gun, worried about my best friend that I was in love with. I wondered what had happened to my life.

~~~~

Dusk descended quickly. Our dinner consisted of cold canned chili and stale potato chips. Brody wouldn’t let us build a fire to warm the chili because it might attract unwanted attention. We didn’t care that we had to eat it cold. We were just thankful for the food. Deciding the living room was the safest place in the house, we sat everything on a small coffee table.

The room was slowly becoming darker with the setting sun, making the house eerie. I worried about Ryder every second. Taking a seat on the couch, I stared at the congealed chili, wondering when he would return.

“I want to go home. I miss my parents,” Eva said, sitting in a chair across the room. “I was so happy to leave a few days ago. Now I would give anything to see them again.”

“I miss my dad also,” I said.

“Ryder’s parents will take care of him,” Eva said, reassuringly. "You don’t have to worry."

“So are you and Ryder really just friends because it seems like there’s more between you two,” Brody asked, picking up a stale chip and popping it into his mouth.

“She’s in love with him. He doesn’t do relationships,” Eva answered before I could. “He doesn’t want anything from her except sex.”

I blushed at her frankness.

“That’s bullshit,” Brody declared.

Before I could respond, Ryder walked through the door. Glancing at the three of us, he rested the shotgun against the wall.

“Speak of the devil,” Eva mumbled.

Ryder ignored her. “There’s no sign of them.”

“Still can’t believe you gave them one of our fucking guns,” Brody said, tossing a water bottle to Ryder.

Ryder caught it easily with one hand.

“If I hadn’t, I would be signing a death sentence for those kids.”

“Awww, he actually has a heart!” Eva said, sweetly.

Ryder shot her a look of warning before taking a seat beside me. The small couch didn’t allow that much room for the two of us. His leg and arm continually brushed against mine, causing tingles to rush over my skin. I didn’t mind. I was just happy he was safe and back in the house.

After eating, we sat quietly and watched the candle that Eva found, flicker and burn in the darkness of the room. Somewhere in the house, a clock chimed softly, announcing the late hour. The open windows let in a cool night breeze and with it the sounds of the night.

Everyone shared a bottle of cheap wine except me. My hangover was still too fresh in my mind, making me shudder when I remembered how sick I had been.
Never again.

“So how did the two of you meet?” Brody asked, motioning to Ryder and me with his half empty glass of wine.

"He was nine, I was six. He showed up on my doorstep, wanting to play, after my dad and I moved in,” I said, looking over at Ryder. He took a drink of his wine, watching me closely. “We played together every day that summer and every day he threatened to beat me up.”

“Nice, Ryder! A real lady’s man!” Brody laughed.

“I was nine and she was an annoying little girl,” Ryder reasoned.

“I was not annoying! I was just better than you at some things. I could run faster, hide better, and climb higher,” I said, stubbornly. "I always won any competition we had."

Ryder scoffed. “You won because you were as small as a pixie and I let you win.”

“I don’t think so! I always won, fair and square!”

He raised an eyebrow. “You sure about that?” Taking another long drink of wine, he looked over at Brody. “Did I mention she was annoying AND stubborn?”

Eva laughed. “Nothing’s changed. She’s still just as annoying and stubborn as she was back then.”

I didn’t think it was very funny.
Okay, so I was stubborn but I wasn’t annoying.

Seeing my hurt look, Eva jumped up from her chair and rushed over to me. Plopping herself in my lap, she hugged me fiercely.

“We love you anyway, Maddie!” she said, squeezing me tightly.

“I love you too,” I said, easing out of her arms. “Now get off me, Amazon.”

Disgruntled, she pouted her perfect lips at me and climbed off of my lap.

Ryder sat forward and leaned his elbows on his knees. The candlelight flickered over him, enhancing the sharp angles of his face and the stubble on his jaw. The tender expression on his face left me speechless and confused. I pulled my lower lip between my teeth, suddenly nervous.

“Maddie, stop,” he whispered huskily, leaning toward me. Reaching out, he pushed my long hair behind my ear, his gaze lowering to my lips. I wasn’t sure what I was doing to him but I knew what he was doing to me. I wanted him again, no matter what the consequences.

As if he realized what he was doing, his hand dropped away from me. Coolness replaced the desire in his eyes. Sitting his empty glass on the coffee table, he shot to his feet. Restlessly, he started pacing back and forth in the tiny living room like a caged animal.

“So what the hell are we going to do?” Brody asked, all playfulness gone. We didn’t have to ask what he was referring to.

“Survive. It’s the only option,” Ryder answered, stopping to look out the window into the dark night, his mind elsewhere.

“We’re all fucked,” Brody said, slurring his words. “How are we supposed to fight off a goddamn enemy without communication? We’re talking about Revolutionary War shit now.”

“Yeah, well, we won that one, remember?” Ryder said, still staring outside.

“Hell, dude, that was different. We’re pussies now. We don’t know how to live like this. No electricity, no communication, no transportation? And what about food? No one knows how to survive without a Walmart around the corner. Might as well bend over and kiss our ass goodbye.”

“You’re drunk, Brody,” I said. “Lay off the wine.”

“No, he’s right.” Eva said, upset. “That man’s kids looked like refugees. Imagine all the people that will die without food and water. Children. The elderly. One little infection and you could be dead.”

I thought of my dad, alone with a heart condition. I thought of how vulnerable we were, walking home in this new wasteland.

“How do we know it won’t be one of us that dies or starves to death? I can’t live like that, wondering if I will be next or one of you,” I said, not being able to keep the morbid thought to myself.

Ryder looked over at me, his blue eyes drilling into mine. “Nothing is going to happen to you, Maddie.”

“You can’t promise that, Ryder. Nobody can.”

“I might die trying but nothing will happen to you,” he said, roughly.

Somewhere in the distance, a coyote howled, sending shivers along my spine. The sound was lonely and dejected, reflecting how we all felt.

“Let’s just promise to take care of each other,” Eva said around a yawn.

“Always,” I whispered quietly, knowing I would do anything for the three of them.

Eva stood up and grabbed Brody’s hand, pulling him out of the chair.

“We’re going to bed.”

I was speechless as I watched her drag Brody out of the room.
She was staying with Brody tonight and leaving me with Ryder?
I narrowed my eyes at her as she passed but she only gave me a mischievous grin.

“Where do you want to sleep?”

I looked up at Ryder, momentarily confused by his question.
Did he mean where did I want to sleep or where should we sleep? And why was I so nervous all of a sudden?

“We’re sleeping together, Maddie. I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

Butterflies took flight in my stomach. I swallowed hard. “Can we just sleep here?” I asked, indicating the living room. “I would rather not sleep in some stranger’s bed.”

“Okay. I’ll go grab some sheets and pillows.”

I waited for him, watching the candlelight flicker and shadows bounce around the room. The tiny flame became smaller and smaller as the candle fought to stay lit. Darkness was no longer an option. It was now a constant, a reminder of the world that was gone. Just like resisting Ryder was no longer an option.

He walked back into the room, his arms loaded with pillows, sheets, and a quilt. After pushing the coffee table out of the way, he spread the quilt on the floor. I felt jittery, knowing we were going to share a bed again.

I swallowed nervously as he pulled his shirt over his head and tugged his shorts off. His boxer briefs remained, hanging low on his hips. My heart started to race as he turned a heated gaze toward me.

“Relax, Maddie,” he said, walking slowly toward me. “I’m not going to bite.”

“Listen, Ryder…I….”
What did I want to say again?
My mind went completely blank. I held up a hand to stop him. I knew that if he touched me, I was a goner.

When the back of my knees hit the couch, he still moved closer, stopping only when my palm was flat on his chest.

A tense moment passed as we stood toe to toe, our eyes saying what we didn’t dare. My hand looked small resting on the black tattoos covering his chest. I wanted to run my hand further down to the top of his boxer shorts, explore him like he had explored me. Instead, I pulled my hand away.

“Why are you so nervous?” he asked.

“Because I don’t know what to think about us anymore.” The words spilled out, unrehearsed. “I mean, where do we stand? You said you don’t want a relationship and you could never love me but…”

His lips crashed onto mine, cutting off my words, as his hands moved to hold my head in place. He franticly deepened the kiss, wanting more, taking more. His wet, teasing tongue pushed past my lips, demanding entrance.

Oh, the man could kiss!
My hands did what they wanted to do earlier. They ran over his solid lower stomach. He sucked in a breath when my fingertips grazed the top of his boxer shorts.

“I want you, Maddie,” he rasped as his lips moved to my neck, leaving wet kisses in its path. His hands ran down my ribcage to the edge of my t–shirt. “Just one more night."

His lips slammed down on mine again, all gentleness gone. He tugged my bottom lip with his teeth as his hands moved beneath my shirt. I couldn’t hold back the moan when his fingers pushed my shorts down over my hips.

Within seconds, he had me stretched out on the floor, careful not to hurt my ribs. His hand slipped down to my inner thigh, skimming lightly over my panties.

“I can’t get enough of you,” he said before taking my mouth again, demanding more this time. As his hand moved against me, his tongue thrust into my mouth, taking what he wanted.

I was on fire.

He pulled my panties down quickly. I was frantic to have his fingers on me, inside me. I gasped as he fulfilled my wish. His mouth moved to kiss the sensitive skin right behind my earlobe as his fingers tormented me.

“I want you on top of me,” he said, pulling away suddenly and taking me with him. As he sat up and leaned back against the couch, I straddled him, feeling delirious with need.

Grabbing my head, he sealed his mouth to mine. His tongue raged inside with lush, firm strokes. Both of his hands moved over my t–shirt, teasing my breasts through the thin material.

“Please, Ryder…”

“Hmmm, begging. I like it,” he said, leaning over and nipping at my breasts through my shirt.

I gasped at the sensation, my hips moving against him of their own accord. He moaned at the movement as his hands dropped to hold onto my waist.