Professor and the Nanny (Silhouette Romance) (7 page)

No way! He wasn’t going to let his hormones trap him into that pit a second time! Even more important, he wasn’t going to let Brittany become a prisoner of her misconception of love.

Brittany fell asleep as soon as she crawled into bed, and the alarm woke her the next morning on time, feeling wide awake and refreshed. She’d fallen into the habit of having a light breakfast with Nate and Danny, so she left her apartment as soon as she was dressed.

Last night had been both terrifying and wonderful. The time they’d spent looking for Nate had been frightening, but the interlude after they found him and had him settled down had been pure bliss. How could Ethan insist that his own feelings for her weren’t love when there was no way he could hide how much he wanted her?

He was right when he insisted a person could lust after someone without being in love with them, but she refused to believe that the tender way he treated her was lust. She knew all about lust. She’d been fighting amorous boys off ever since she was in her early teens, and they’d been nothing like Ethan. They’d been eager to score and didn’t want to take the time to court her first.

Whereas Ethan held back, aroused but unwilling to act on that urge. Didn’t that mean his feelings for her were deeper, more protective than just an itch to get into her knickers?

Of course he was older than any of the other fellows she’d dated, but he considered that a minus, not a plus. She wondered
if he had any idea of the disrespectful, sometimes cruel way some young men treated their women. She’d learned early on to pick her boyfriends carefully.

She was five minutes late when she pulled up to the house. He must have been watching for her because he opened the door and strode toward her carrying his briefcase as she walked up to the porch. She smiled broadly, delighted to see him, but then noticed the frown on his face and assumed he was upset because of the time.

“I’m sorry, Ethan,” she apologized, “I hit all the red lights on my way over here—”

“Brittany, we have to talk,” he interrupted as if he hadn’t even heard her. “Can you stay on for a while after I get home from school?”

“Well yes, of course,” she said. “Do you need me to baby-sit?”

“We’ll talk about it this afternoon,” he told her, and started to walk past her but she stepped in front of him.

“Ethan, is something wrong? Nate? Danny?” She wasn’t going to let him get away with putting her off. “I don’t want to have to worry about this all day.”

“Nate and Danny are fine,” he assured her, “but I don’t have time to go into what I want to discuss with you now.”

This time he did walk around her. “See you later,” he called, and hurried toward his car.

Brittany spent the rest of the day wondering what had happened between the time she left the house last night and the time she returned this morning. Last night they’d been burning for each other, but this morning he didn’t even bother to say “hello.” She couldn’t honestly say his manner toward her was cold, but it had sure dropped into the chilly range.

At intervals she tried to worm some information out of Nate without actually asking him questions, but if he was aware of
his son’s mood he wasn’t admitting it. He seemed oblivious to her efforts.

Two o’clock came and went with no sign of Ethan, but she hadn’t really expected him to come home that early. Then three o’clock, the time he quite often appeared, but it wasn’t unusual if he was later. By four o’clock she was having to restrain herself to keep from pacing the floor. She didn’t want to upset Nate by letting him see how nervous she was, but every time an automobile came down the street and then drove on by she wanted to scream.

Finally, at twenty-one minutes to five she heard his car turn into the driveway and rushed to open the door. “Ethan,” she called, and stepped out onto the porch. “Where have you been? I was afraid you were involved in an accident or something.”

She sounded like a shrew, but she couldn’t control herself. Now that she knew he was safe and had put her through all this anxiety for nothing, she was hopping mad. “If you were going to be late you should have called!”

He came around the car and walked toward her, a puzzled expression on his face. “I’m sorry, Brittany, I didn’t know you’d worry.”

She took a deep breath. No, of course he didn’t. It was none of her business what time he came and went. He wasn’t answerable to her. She was beginning to sound like Hannah.

“I—I’m sorry, too,” she stammered. “I guess after that experience with Nate last night I’m a little skittish.”

“You have a right to be,” he said as he reached her and put one arm around her, but it was more a form of guidance than a caress.

When they got inside the house he released her and put his briefcase in the closet where he usually kept it. Danny spotted him and came running with his arms open, shouting “Da-da! Da-da!”

Ethan scooped him up in his arms, and father and son
played happily for several minutes while Brittany steamed. If Ethan didn’t tell her what he wanted to talk to her about, and do it quickly, she was going to explode!

Then Nate appeared and he and Ethan went through the usual routine—“Hi. How are you? How was your day? How about that favorite baseball team?”—until Brittany finally put her hand on Ethan’s arm and got his attention.

“Ethan, I hate to intrude, but you did tell me this morning that you wanted to talk to me this afternoon. If you don’t mind I’d really like to get to that so I can go on home.”

Ethan nodded and handed the baby to Nate. “Dad, would you mind putting him in his playpen? There are some things I need to discuss with Brittany. We’ll be in the library if you need me.”

Nate looked perplexed but took his grandson and said, “Sure thing, son. Take your time. Danny and I will get along just fine.”

Ethan gestured to Brittany to precede him on their way to the library, and she became more mystified with every step. He’d never invited her into the library before, except for the time he’d been showing her through the house the day he hired her.

In fact, that was the last time she’d been in that room. Nobody had told her she shouldn’t go in there, but he kept the door shut and she got the feeling that it was his private study.

Now he was not only inviting her in but making it plain by his demeanor that it was more of an order than an invitation. What had she done? Surely the fact she’d been a few minutes late wouldn’t have perturbed him this much.

He opened the door and ushered her in, then closed it behind them. “Please, take a seat,” he said, and waved her to the chair in front of the desk, then took the one behind it for himself.

She sank down, relieved to have something under her before her shaky knees gave way.

For a moment they just sat there, neither of them speaking or making eye contact. Brittany twisted her hands in her lap, and she noticed that Ethan had picked up a pen and was tapping it on the desk blotter.

Finally, he cleared his throat and looked at her. “Brittany…” His voice wavered and he cleared his throat again and started over. “Brittany, I don’t know how to tell you this…” Again his voice broke and this time he took a deep breath before forging ahead.

Meanwhile Brittany was squirming and biting on her lower lip.
Get on with it
, she wanted to scream.
For God’s sake, what’s happened?

“Ethan, just spit it out,” she snapped. “Whatever it is it can’t be as bad as most of the things I’ve been imagining today. What’s happened? Is something wrong with Danny? Nate?”

She knew she’d already asked that and he’d said his son and his father were just fine, but what else could it be?

Was it possible something was wrong with his twin brother? But that wasn’t something he’d hesitate to talk to her about. She didn’t even know Peter.

“Brittany, I’m going to have to let you go.”

She was so wrapped up in her tangled thoughts that her mind only processed part of what he said. “Go? Go where? I haven’t asked for vacation time.”

“No, you don’t understand,” he told her. “I—I’m trying to tell you that I won’t be needing your services anymore.”

She blinked and tried to make sense of what he was saying. “But of course you will,” she protested. “After what happened last night—”

Then it hit her like a blow to the solar plexus, and she closed her eyes until she could catch her breath. “Ethan, are you telling me I’m being fired?”

She heard him draw a ragged sigh. “I wouldn’t have put it that way, but yes, I guess I am. I’ve made other arrangements for the care of Nate and Danny.”

B
rittany just stared at Ethan, unable to grasp what he said. He couldn’t mean what she thought he did. Last night they’d been so close. He’d called on her for help in finding his father and she’d been happy to oblige. She’d come to think of Nate as the grandfather she’d lost, but her feelings for Ethan were anything but sisterly.

She hadn’t made any secret of that, but could that be the problem? Had she come on to him too strong? She hadn’t seen any reason to hide it. He seemed to be attracted to her, too.

She was jolted out of her trance by his voice. “Brittany, don’t look like that. I’m sorry. I should have handled this more tactfully. Actually I’ve been wrestling with it ever since you left last night….”

“What did I do?” she wailed, still unable to make sense of what he was saying. “Is it because I was late this morning? You said last night—”

“Brittany, it has nothing to do with your work performance,” he assured her. “You’re wonderful with both Nate and Danny, but I feel it is time to move on. Your employment here was always meant to be temporary—”

“Oh, I see.” She didn’t see at all, but neither could she assimilate anything he was saying. She needed to get out of there and try to make some sense of what was happening. If she concluded that she was being unfairly treated she could argue with him about it later.

“I’ll give you severance pay and excellent references….”

Now he was insulting her by putting their relationship on an employer-employee basis. She’d thought they had something much closer than that, but obviously she’d been wrong.

She stopped listening as she leaned over and picked her purse up off the floor beside her then rummaged through it for her keys. Without waiting for him to stop talking she stood up and started toward the door.

“Brittany!” he called. “Where are you going? I haven’t finished yet.”

She didn’t bother to answer but opened the door just as he caught up with her. “Honey, I can’t let you go like this,” he said as he restrained her with his hand on her arm.

Still she said nothing. She couldn’t even think let alone talk. Instead she jerked her arm out of his grasp and headed toward the front door with him at her side. “Look, I didn’t mean to upset you like this,” he said. “Please, don’t rush off. Sit down and let me explain.”

She reached her car and opened the door before he could stop her. “I need to let the agency know I’m available,” she murmured, more to herself than to him. “Maybe they can put me to work tomorrow.”

She slid behind the wheel, slammed the door shut and started the engine as Ethan continued to protest through the closed window. What was his problem? she thought. She’d been too shocked to catch much of what he’d been saying, but he’d put one thing across loud and clear. He didn’t want her to work for him anymore!

Ethan watched impotently as Brittany pulled her car away from the curb, brakes squealing, and headed down the street.
Damn! How could he have screwed up so royally when all he’d wanted was to find a way to dismiss her without hurting her feelings or making her afraid her nursing and baby-sitting skills were somehow impaired.

He’d been up most of the night pacing the floor and even writing down what he wanted to say, but somehow it never sounded right. He’d driven around town for an hour after his last class at school today trying to make his mind work, but all he could call up was pain and angst at the thought of not having her here when he left for work in the mornings, and again when he came home in the afternoon.

He turned and walked back to the house. They hadn’t been together a lot, he couldn’t have resisted her sweet charm if they had been, but what little time they’d had was precious beyond belief to him.

Now what was he going to do? He’d let her go and had no one to replace her. Tomorrow was the last day of school and he’d get a substitute to handle his classes. Then there was a week’s break until summer school started so he had ten days to find a full-time nanny.

When he stepped into the foyer he heard Nate playing with Danny in the family room. He couldn’t face them right now so he detoured into the parlor and sat down. How was he going to tell them he’d fired their best friend in the whole world?

Nate adored Brittany. She’d done wonders for him and most of it wasn’t even medical. He no longer had bouts of depression, or if he did they were much fewer and farther between. His diabetes was almost always under control now because she saw to it that he took his medicine and his meals on time, and she treated him like a loving grandfather instead of an obstinate patient.

And Danny. Danny had taken to her right away. She claimed to have little experience with babies, but she must have been doing something right. The kid would hardly let
her out of his sight. A lot like his dad in that respect, Ethan thought grumpily.

There was going to be all hell to pay when those two found out she wouldn’t be coming anymore!

Brittany headed her car for home and lost no time getting there. She knew she was in no condition to drive. It was almost like being on autopilot. She couldn’t focus either her thoughts or her eyesight and was a danger to everyone on the streets.

One thought kept going round and round in her head.
What had she done wrong?
Everything seemed to be going so beautifully. She’d forgotten that the job was only temporary. Actually, she’d almost forgotten it was a job! That was her first mistake. She’d allowed herself to be drawn into Ethan’s family, and it was nobody’s fault but her own.

She’d been so happy, and she loved all of the Thorpe men, each in a different way but equally as strong. Obviously that love wasn’t reciprocated. At least not by Ethan. He was the one who’d fired her, and that’s what he’d done, no matter what he preferred to call it.

She’d thought Nate was fond of her, and she still thought he was, but not as deeply as she’d hoped. Ethan usually talked important decisions over with his dad, so they must have discussed this one, too, which meant Nate had agreed to it.

And what about Danny? Poor little guy, he didn’t have any say in the matter. Instead, he’d be stuck with yet another stranger to get used to.

She knew Danny loved her and that he’d miss her. That thought wasn’t a happy one considering that he’d already been abandoned by his mother and several nannies in his young life. Had Ethan found a permanent baby-sitter? He could at least have set her mind at ease on that score.

No! That wasn’t fair. He probably would have if she’d stayed around to let him. He’d been trying to talk to her, but
she couldn’t stay there and listen. Even his words were garbled in her unregistering mind.

She pulled up in front of her apartment house and shut off the motor, but instead of getting out she crossed her arms on the steering wheel and buried her face in them. She knew she should get on the ball and start looking for another job, but she couldn’t seem to function. She couldn’t even cry. Although tears filled her eyes, she couldn’t release them.

She needed to get in touch with her agency first thing in the morning. She couldn’t afford to lose so much as a day’s pay, even with the extra money Ethan was giving her for baby-sitting Danny as well as caring for Nate. Newly licensed medical assistants were at the low end of the wage scale until they had some experience, as were untrained child-care workers.

With effort she raised her head, opened the door and got out. She couldn’t sit here in the street like a zombie for the rest of the day. So life had dealt her a painful blow. So what? She’d had them before and managed to survive. She’d get through this one, too.

Squaring her shoulders, she marched up the sidewalk to the front door.

A week later Brittany had just finished giving her last bed bath of the day and was packing up her equipment. The agency had put her to work as soon as she notified them that she was available, and now she was helping bedridden patients with bedside nursing so they could stay at home instead of in the hospital. She had several patients a day, but only spent an hour or two with each one.

She liked this arrangement better than having one patient full-time. This way she wouldn’t become too attached to any one of them. She wasn’t going to make that mistake again!

Saying goodbye, she left the house and got into her car. It was almost five o’clock and she was looking forward to a cooling shower and a hot fudge ice cream sundae sprinkled
with salted peanuts. She didn’t need anyone to tell her that was not exactly a proper dinner, but she’d dutifully bought herself a roast beef sandwich and a bowl of vegetable soup for lunch, so surely she was entitled to a treat tonight.

As she drove her unruly mind wandered to the Thorpe family. She hated it when that happened. She tried so hard to keep from thinking about them, but she couldn’t help it. She worried about Nate, and about Danny. Were they all right? Did they miss her as much as she missed them?

And Ethan? Every time he popped into her mind, which was dozens of times a day, she made a determined effort to delete him, but it wasn’t possible. The best she could do was think positively. Assume that he’d done what he felt was best for all of them, and make sure she harbored no bitterness.

As she turned the corner onto her street she saw the figure of a man sitting on her building’s doorstep. He was too far away to identify clearly, but as she drew closer it looked like—Yes, it was. It was Nate!

He was wearing jeans, a pullover shirt and a baseball cap, and was just sitting there staring off into space. What was he doing here? And even more important, how had he gotten here?

She pulled slowly over to the curb and stopped. Did Ethan know his father was here? Getting out of the car she hurried up the sidewalk. “Nate,” she called. “How long have you been waiting?”

He stood when he heard her voice and took off his cap. “Not long,” he said. “One of the young ladies inside said you should be home soon so I just sat down to wait. I hope you don’t mind.”

Brittany threw her arms around him and hugged him. “Mind! I’m delighted, but how did you get here?”

He put his arms around her, too, and clung to her. “Why did you let Ethan send you away?” he asked without bothering to answer her question. “You didn’t even say goodbye.”

“I’m sorry about that,” she said, “but I couldn’t stay if Ethan didn’t want me to and I was too upset to talk about it.”

She belatedly realized they were making something of a public spectacle of themselves and pulled away slightly. “Look, we can’t talk out here,” she said. “Let’s go up to my apartment and you can tell me what you’re doing here. Does Ethan know you’re gone?”

She took Nate’s arm and led him upstairs to her studio apartment. “You sit over there,” she said, pointing to the reclining chair, “and I’ll get us a glass of iced tea. First, though, I have to ask again. Does Ethan know where you are?”

Nate shook his head as he sat down. “No. I waited until he left to take the baby to the doctor for his shots, then called a taxi and had the driver bring me here.”

“But Ethan will be worried sick when he comes home and finds you gone,” she remonstrated. “You remember how upset he was the night you wandered away from the meeting at the university.”

“But I didn’t wander away this time,” he protested. “I left of my own free will.”

Brittany opened her purse, took out her cell phone and handed it to Nate. “I’m not going to split hairs with you. Either you call Ethan or I will. You should be ashamed of yourself deliberately putting him through this kind of fear.”

Nate ignored the phone. “He didn’t give a thought to my feelings when he fired you.”

She winced at the word
fired
, but Nate didn’t notice. “Let him stew awhile. After all, you worked for me as well as for him. If he doesn’t want you caring for Danny anymore that’s his and Danny’s loss, but it’s my insurance money that pays my medical bills, and I’ll damn well do the hiring and firing.”

She knew this wasn’t altogether true. No insurance company would pay for full-time medical care for a patient who was no sicker than Nate. He required supervision, not bedside nursing.

Nevertheless, she wasn’t going to argue the point. It would
just upset him even more and make his blood sugar go down. Instead she punched Ethan’s number herself. He answered almost immediately. “Please get off the phone,” he barked. “I need to keep the line open—”

“Ethan, it’s Brittany,” she cut in. “Nate is here with me.”

“Oh, thank God.” It was a prayer of relief, not an exclamation. “I came home and he was gone. Where are you?”

“We’re at my apartment. I found Nate sitting on my doorstep when I got home just now. He’s okay—”

“I’ll be right there,” Ethan interrupted, and slammed down the phone.

Brittany turned hers off and put it back in her purse. “Now you’ve got him all upset,” she said to Nate. “He’s coming to get you.”

“Won’t do him any good,” Nate said stubbornly. “I’m not goin’ back.”

“But why?” she wailed. “I can’t believe that he’s done anything to abuse you. He loves you dearly.”

“He’s got a fine way of showin’ it,” Nate grumbled. “He let you go, didn’t he? And without even telling me. I just woke up one morning last week and you were gone. I even asked him if you’d quit and he admitted that he’d sent you away.”

Nate looked down at his hands folded in his lap. “What kind of love is that? He didn’t even ask my opinion or tell me he was gonna do it. I might have trouble remembering things, but I’m not stupid. I’m entitled to some say in my own life.” He raised his hands and dropped his head in them.

Brittany sat down on the arm of the chair and put her arm around his shoulders. Apparently she was going to have to have a heart-to-heart talk with her favorite patient.

“Nate, listen to me,” she began. “I can understand your frustration, but you have to admit that you need guidance.”

He shook his head but she hugged him and continued. “Yes, you do. You have two medical conditions, diabetes and dementia. Both are controllable if you take care of yourself,
but can be serious if you don’t. At least give Ethan credit for caring enough about you to see to it that you get that supervision.”