Professor and the Nanny (Silhouette Romance) (6 page)

Excitement mounting, she pulled over closer to the curb and shone her headlights in the direction she’d been facing. Sure enough there was the figure of a tall man stumbling ahead of her car! Was it Nate? All she could see was his back, but it must be him. Please, God, let it be him!

She slammed on her brakes and honked her horn. “Nate!” she called out her open window. “Nate, it’s Brittany! Wait for me.”

He didn’t stop but staggered on. Her first inclination was to stop the car and go after him, but she was well aware of how dangerous it was for a woman to accost a strange man on the streets in the middle of the night.

“Sir. Sir, please stop even if your name’s not Nate,” she called. “I want to talk to you.”

All of her doors were locked so she’d be safe enough even if he wasn’t Nate, but she needed to know one way or the other. The way he walked scared her. He may just be a drunk looking for another bar, but it could be Nate on the verge of diabetic shock. Diabetics were often mistaken for drunks.

She’d never seen the dress slacks and sport coat this man was wearing, but around the house Nate dressed comfortably in jeans or baggy slacks and pullover knit shirts. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t dress up when he went out. Especially if he went to a meeting with his son.

He continued to veer down the sidewalk while paying no attention to the car or Brittany’s frantic efforts to gain his attention. Finally she could wait no longer. She had to get out of the car and go after him. She was strong and this man was obviously drunk or sick. She was almost sure it was Nate, in which case she’d have nothing to fear, but even if it was a stranger he needed help.

First, though, she’d call for backup. She grabbed her phone
and punched Ethan’s number while still letting the car roll along beside the person. It was answered at once by a frantic Ethan.

“I think I’ve found Nate,” she said quickly. “Tell me what he was wearing.”

Ethan described his father’s clothes and she breathed a sigh of relief. It was Nate, all right. She explained what was happening and told him she was going to confront the man.

“I’m on my way,” he assured her. “Be careful, Brittany, you could still be mistaken.”

“I know,” she said, “but I don’t think I am. See you in a few minutes.”

She pulled over to the curb, set the brake and jumped out of the car, again calling Nate’s name. He kept on walking, but she ran and caught up with him. “Nate, is that you?” she asked as she grabbed his upper arms and turned him so she could see his face.

Relief washed over her as she looked into his familiar features.

“Brittany?” His expression crumbled and he wrapped his arms around her. “Oh, Brittany, I’m lost. I can’t find my way.”

She could feel his whole body trembling as they held each other, and she knew she had to get him home and medicated as quickly as possible.

“You’re not lost any longer,” she assured him as she held him close. “I’m here now and Ethan is coming. We’re going to take you home. Do you have your candy with you?”

“Yeah, it’s in my coat pocket,” he said.

She reached into his pocket, brought out a roll of hard candy and gave him the required amount.

“Now, my car is right back there.” She pointed to it. “Can you walk that far if I help you?”

“Sh…sure,” he said, but she noticed the slurring of the word.

She could walk back and drive the auto to him. It was only about half a block, but she was afraid if she left him standing here with no support he’d collapse.

“Okay, then, just lean on me and we’ll be there in no time.”

With their arms around each other’s waist they started the slow journey. Nate needed a lot of support and he was heavy, but eventually they reached their destination. Brittany more or less dumped him into the front passenger seat, making sure his arm and leg were clear, then buckled him in and closed the door.

By this time Ethan had just pulled up behind her and got out of his car. “Is it Dad?” he asked as he sprinted around to the passenger side and reopened the door.

“Yes,” she said. “He’s exhausted and upset but—”

“Have you called 911?” Ethan interrupted.

“No, not yet,” she told him. “I will if you want me to, but I’m pretty sure I can take care of him. We’ll have to get him home quickly, though. I’m afraid a trip to the emergency room would just be more upsetting and cause his blood sugar to go down even further.”

“Well, if you’re certain…” His voice trailed off.

“No, I’m not certain,” she confessed, “but this has already been an extremely stressful experience. I don’t want to put him through more if we can help it. If he were my father I’d wait awhile and see how he does. However, this is your decision and I’ll go along with whatever you decide.”

Ethan paused and Brittany remembered another option she had. “I almost forgot, I can call the twenty-four-hour information hot line my medical service provides. You can trust them. They’re doctors and RNs. They’ll tell us what to do.”

“Brittany, it’s not that I don’t trust you—”

“I know,” she assured him, “but let’s do it this way, then we’ll both be reassured.”

Ethan hunkered down and started talking softly to his father while Brittany put in a call to her hot line. After she’d talked
to the RN on duty, explaining the situation and giving them all the vitals she had available, the nurse agreed with Brittany’s proposed course of action. Brittany then handed the phone to Ethan so he could speak to the nurse.

“Okay, that’s good enough for me,” he said, then handed Brittany back the phone. “I’ll stop at the Whitesides and pick up Danny then meet you at home.” He headed back to his car and she slid under the steering wheel of hers.

When they got home, Danny was asleep so Ethan put the child’s pajamas on him and laid him in his crib while Brittany tended to Nate. It was almost an hour later before everything was taken care of and they could ask Nate a few simple questions. He was ready for bed and lying on the couch in the family room where they could watch him for any negative reactions that hadn’t shown up yet when Ethan asked, “Dad, why did you leave the meeting? I remember telling you to come and get me if you got tired or…”

“I was just looking for the men’s room,” Nate said. “It seemed silly for me to bother you and interrupt your meeting when I could just as well find it on my own—”

“But that’s the problem,” Ethan countered. “You couldn’t.”

“Oh, I found it okay,” Nate insisted, “but when I came out I must have taken a wrong turn because I kept walking and walking but I couldn’t find the meeting room. Then I started to panic and I got more and more confused….”

Brittany could see that he was becoming distraught and shook her head lightly at Ethan as she spoke. “It’s all right. The way those old buildings are laid out it’s a wonder anybody can find the classroom they’re looking for. Now, I think it’s time for you to go to bed. It’s very late, so try to sleep a long time in the morning. Okay?”

Ethan got up and helped his dad to stand. “Take my arm,
Dad,” he said, and linked Nate’s arm to his own. “I’ll tuck you in. You’re still a little shaky.”

Nate’s grin was somewhat tremulous but Brittany saw the familiar mischief in his eyes. “I’d rather she did it.” He nodded toward Brittany.

“No way,” Ethan said. “Get your own girl, this one’s mine.”

They all laughed and the two men started up the stairs, but Brittany was too surprised to move. She knew they were just kidding each other, but was it possible there could have been a grain of truth in what Ethan said?

Get your own girl, this one’s mine
.

She knew Nate was clowning around. They were always giving each other a hard time, and neither of them took it seriously. But Ethan was another matter. He was more serious, more inclined not to talk unless he had something to say.

He’d never teased her the way his father did, and sometimes she got the feeling that he disapproved of their lighthearted banter.

She was jarred out of her musing by Ethan’s voice calling to her from the second-floor landing. “Brittany, you don’t have to leave yet, do you? Can we talk for a while? If you’d like to fix some hot chocolate I’ll only be a few minutes.”

“I’d be happy to,” she called back eagerly. No way was she going to miss the opportunity to find out what he had in mind.

She was in the kitchen pouring chocolate syrup into mugs of hot milk when he returned. She heard him on the stairs but wasn’t prepared for it when he came up behind her and put his arms around her waist. “What would I ever do without you?” he asked huskily as he rubbed his face in her hair.

His touch was just as intoxicating as she’d remembered it to be, and she leaned against him as his arms tightened. “I—I don’t know what you mean,” she stammered. “I didn’t do anything that anyone else wouldn’t have done.”

“You’re always there when I need you.” He moved his head to nuzzle the side of her neck, sending chills up and down her spine.

“Mmm, you smell like soap.” His tone was little more than a whisper.

She shivered as his mouth continued its foray into the hollow between her neck and shoulder. “I took a shower just before I went to bed.” Her voice quivered.

“I wish I’d been there to take it with you,” he murmured as he sucked on her earlobe. Waves of heat radiated through her body.

She couldn’t hold back. “So do I,” she said raggedly, and turned in his arms.

“Oh, Brittany,” he groaned, and pushed her groin against his arousal, shooting flames of fire into places she hadn’t known had nerves. “You’re driving me crazy. Do you know that?”

That did shock her and she shook her head. “No, I didn’t. I wasn’t even sure you liked me.”

The sound he made was a cross between disbelief and a sob. “You little goose, ignoring you was the only way I could keep my sanity. Now that you know how I feel, I don’t know how I’m going to resist you.”

She pulled back, although still within the circle of his arms, and looked at him. “But I
don’t
know how you feel about me,” she confessed. “I can’t read your mind.”

For a moment their gazes locked, but then he put his hand to the back of her head and guided it to his shoulder. “No, I don’t suppose you do,” he said sadly, “although I find it hard to believe you can be so naive—”

“I’m not naive, Ethan,” she said against his chest. “I know how babies are made and I know the difference between love, lust and gratitude. But you keep sending me mixed signals.”

“I—I don’t know what you mean,” he stammered.

“Sure you do,” she contradicted him. “Sometimes you
come on to me like you are now, then other times you ignore me. I never know what you want. It’s not difficult for any pretty woman to arouse a man sexually. It doesn’t even have to be deliberate. It’s part of the cycle of life, a way to keep all species re-creating themselves. That’s lust.”

“I’ll agree with that,” he said, “but—”

“And tonight you’re grateful to me for helping you find Nate,” she continued before he could protest. “You’re in a highly emotional state but it’s induced by passion, not love. That’s gratitude.”

He brushed her hair away from her cheek. “All right, Professor Baldwin,” he said huskily, “now that you’ve defined lust and gratitude for me, what about love? Surely you’re not going to leave that out of your equation.”

She knew he wasn’t taking her seriously but she didn’t intend to stop now. “Love is a combination of those two plus esteem, consideration, devotion and veneration. It’s not true that love is never having to say goodbye. Lovers are often separated, sometimes for a long time, but if they’re truly in love that love will never die.”

Ethan sighed and caressed her back. “Oh, my little darling, I hope nobody ever pricks your balloon, but you have a highly romanticized way of looking at the world outside your own realm. Let’s take our hot chocolate into the family room and talk. I’m intrigued by your hypothesis.”

He picked up one of the filled mugs and turned toward the family room.

“It’s not a hypothesis,” Brittany insisted as she reached for the other mug and followed him. “It’s a fact.”

They settled themselves comfortably on the couch and sipped their hot chocolate. “Mmm, that tastes good,” he said. “Maybe it will relax me enough that I can get a little sleep before morning.”

“I was having trouble dozing off when you called me,” she confessed. “I couldn’t get comfortable. It was almost like a
premonition that something was wrong, but I don’t believe in that sort of thing. I kept ignoring it until you called and I learned that something was wrong. Very wrong! Now I don’t know what to think.”

“Maybe you should accept the fact that there are stranger things in this life than can be explained logically,” he suggested.

She shook her head. “Why are you so willing to believe in ghosts and precognition when you won’t believe in the power of love?”

He drank the rest of his chocolate milk and set the empty mug on the coffee table, then leaned forward with his arms on his thighs. “Probably because I haven’t had any experience with ghosts or precognition, so it’s not hard to accept the possibility of them, but I’ve experienced firsthand the hell love can wreak, and I’ll never fall into that pit again.”

B
rittany was shocked by the bitterness in Ethan’s tone. Was it directed at his ex-wife? Except for the day Hannah brought the baby over and announced that she was giving Ethan full custody of their son, he’d seldom mentioned her and then it was in conversation with his father, not Brittany. To the best of her knowledge he never discussed his marriage with anybody.

She put her hand on his back. “Ethan, I’m sorry you feel that way. It must make life awfully unhappy for you.”

He straightened up and took her in his arms, then leaned them against the back of the sofa. “Bless you, my little darling.” He hugged her and settled her head on his shoulder. “If anyone could make me believe in love it would be you, but I’m too old for conversions. The best I could offer you is great sex and reasonable financial security. You’re way too young to even consider such a compromise.”

“Just why do you think I couldn’t make you happy?” she asked briskly.

“Because I wouldn’t let you?” he answered truthfully. “I
fell ‘in love’ a long time ago with Hannah. We were so sure we were meant for each other that we married as soon as we finished college. Our so-called ‘wedded bliss’ barely survived the honeymoon before we discovered we had absolutely nothing in common. She was the high-powered ‘make it to the top as fast as possible’ type of person, whereas I was the casual, laid-back kind.”

Brittany liked the warmth of his arms around her, the stroke of his fingers through her hair and the occasional brush of his hand across her breasts. She nuzzled her face into the side of his throat and felt his muscles tense as his hand roamed below her waist and settled on her hip.

“Don’t tease me with offers of warmth and comfort, Brittany,” he warned her. “I have a very limited amount of self-control where you’re concerned.”

She rubbed her palm on his chest. His heart was racing in time with her own. “I’m not teasing you, Ethan. I just want you to know how good love can make you feel.”

“And what makes you think that the feelings we’re stirring up in each other is love?” he asked. “It could as easily be lust or gratitude. I know all about both of them. Don’t forget, I was married for many years, and while my wife and I didn’t like each other much we both had healthy libidos and no desire to play around. Our relationship was the same as any other married couple’s. The only difference was that for us it was just having sex, not making love.”

Brittany was uncomfortable discussing Ethan’s intimate relationship with his ex-wife, but since he seemed to be willing there were some questions she’d like to ask.

“If you were so unhappy, why didn’t you get divorced sooner?” she blurted, then felt the flush of embarrassment that rushed through her. “That is…I mean…”

“It’s okay,” he said as he rained kisses in her hair. “If I’m going to come on to you, you have a right to ask personal questions. For the first four or five years we really did try to
make it work. Neither of us wanted to admit we’d been wrong. Also, Hannah’s mother, Gerda, was devoutly religious and unalterably opposed to divorce. We were afraid she’d be devastated if we split up, and since she was in frail health, Hannah was reluctant to subject her to that.

“Finally, though, things got so bad between Hannah and me that we decided we could no longer live our lives to please another person. We filed for divorce but didn’t tell Gerda, thinking she might not find out since she lived seventy-five miles away in Louisville and had little contact with the outside world.”

“Unfortunately, we might as well have announced it in the newspapers.” His tone was heavily sarcastic. “A so-called friend of Gerda’s who lives here in Lexington and works at the courthouse saw the petition and mentioned it to her. Three days later my mother-in-law had a stroke from which she never recovered, although she lived for several more years.”

“But that’s not your fault,” Brittany protested. “Especially if her health was bad, anyway.”

“I know that, but I couldn’t convince Hannah,” he said. “She was so guilt-ridden that she insisted the petition for divorce be dropped and that her mother be brought to our house where we could look after her.

“Not that I minded taking care of her,” he hastened to assure Brittany. “I was glad we were in a position to do so, but there was no more hope of divorce.”

Brittany sighed. “It seems as if some people are just born to lead complicated lives. You lost your mother at an early age, then had an unhappy marriage as well as two unwell parents to care for—”

“No, Brittany,” Ethan interrupted. “I’ve never thought of either Gerda or Nate as a burden. And don’t forget, I have one blessing that blots out all the heartache. I have Danny. I wouldn’t have had him if we’d divorced early in our marriage.”

Something bothered her, and she decided that since he was sharing his story with her she’d ask him about it. “Ethan, do you mind if I ask just one more question?”

He smiled at her and tipped up her chin with his fingers. “I told you, you’re entitled. What do you want to know?”

“Well, you told me once that you’d been divorced for two years,” she said hesitantly, “but Danny is one and a half. If my arithmetic is right that means he was born six months or so after the divorce.”

He nodded. “Your arithmetic is just fine, darlin’. We filed for divorce again almost immediately after Gerda died and didn’t find out for a couple of months that Hannah was pregnant. She’d never wanted a family and it didn’t make that much difference to me one way or the other, so Danny came as a real shock.”

“I can imagine,” Brittany murmured.

“Canceling the divorce again was out of the question,” he continued. “We’d waited too long already to get on with our separate lives, so we finally agreed that since I knew absolutely nothing about caring for infants Hannah would keep the baby for the first two years and then I’d take him.”

Ethan laughed. “In my blessed ignorance I expected that he’d get easier to handle as he got older. Nobody told me what little terrors they can be when they start to walk, and talk, and climb, and need to be potty-trained. Sheesh!”

Now it was Brittany’s turn to laugh. “So now you can pity your poor mother. She had two of you the same age going through the same stage at the same time.”

His arms tightened around her. “Yes, she did, and sometimes we tried her patience severely, but neither Pete nor I ever doubted her love for us. Just as I intend to see to it that Danny never doubts my love for him.”

Brittany snuggled against Ethan. “You’re such a good father. I don’t understand how Danny’s mother could just give
him away like she did. Nobody would get a child of mine away from me.”

He nuzzled her temple. “I don’t doubt that, but don’t be too hard on Hannah. At least she has the guts to admit that she’s not good mother material. Not all women have your overabundance of maternal instinct, sweetheart.”

“I don’t—” she started to say, but he interrupted her.

“Maybe not an overabundance,” he conceded, “but you’ll be a good mother when the time comes. Hannah isn’t. She doesn’t give Danny the tender loving care a child needs. She’s too impatient, too resentful of the time his needs take her away from her work, but she didn’t ‘give Danny away.’ She gave his father custody of him. She knew Nate and I would take good care of him. I was slated to have physical custody in six more months, anyway, and in the business world you can’t always pick and choose your promotions. She makes a lot more money than I do, so she’s going to pay me child support and set up a trust fund to assure our son’s college expenses.”

Before Brittany could say anything the antique grandfather clock in the parlor started chiming. The resonate tones filled the air softly but then pealed only twice. Surprised, she pulled herself away from Ethan and stood. “Oh, my gosh. It’s two o’clock. I’ve got to go home or I’ll never get up on time in the morning.”

Ethan stood also and looked at her. “Why don’t you stay here tonight. That’s not a come-on. We have a couple of guest rooms, and that way you wouldn’t have to wake up until Danny does. After all, it’s my fault you’re up so late.”

“Oh, I couldn’t do that,” she protested, although the invitation was almost irresistibly enticing. “I…I don’t have any night clothes.”

“I could loan you a pair of silk pajamas that my brother and his wife gave me one year for Christmas. They’ve never been out of the plastic sack. I don’t wear that type of thing.”

She was seriously tempted. Imagine trying to sleep in his
pajamas with him just across the hall! Obviously that would be out of the question.

“I’m sorry, I really must go home,” she said rather lamely, “but I’ll be back on time in the morning. Don’t worry.”

“Well, if you insist,” he agreed, “I’ll walk you to your car.”

She wasn’t going to object to that even though it wasn’t necessary. He put his arm around her waist and they walked side by side until they came to the driveway. Then he turned her to face him and put his other arm around her, too.

“I wish there was some way I could express my thanks to you for being there for me tonight when I needed you so badly.” His tone was deep with emotion.

“You can show your appreciation by promising me that you’ll never again hesitate to call on me if you need someone to stay with Nate and Danny after regular hours,” she told him. “They are both special to me, and I’d never forgive you if you didn’t ask me for help and something happened to one of them.”

He rubbed his cheek against hers. “But they’re not your responsibility, they’re mine. I should have kept better track of Nate. He was more important than that damn meeting—”

“Stop beating yourself up over something you can’t fix,” she scolded affectionately. “Nate knows he has these memory lapses, and he remembered that you’d told him not to leave the room by himself. He has to share the blame for what happened. You know he wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“Yes, ma’am.” She heard the merriment in Ethan’s tone even though it was too dark to see his expression. “Any chance you could clear time to give me lessons on child care as well as home nursing?”

“No way,” she said sternly. “The only thing you have to learn is not to lose your patience.”

They both laughed at the unintended double entendre, but the chuckle quickly died as he lowered his head to meet her
upturned face. Their mouths met and melded, and she snuggled against him as his tongue prodded her lips apart to gain entry.

Brittany felt as if she were floating into a cloud of ethereal sensations almost too exquisite to bear. She couldn’t get enough of the way he nibbled on her lower lip and suckled on her throat, setting her blood on fire.

She wasn’t prepared when he suddenly grasped her arms and stood her away from him. “Brittany, no, we mustn’t do this!” he moaned, then turned from her and opened the car door. “Be careful driving home, and don’t worry about getting here on time tomorrow. I’ll wait for you.”

Ethan watched until the car was out of sight, then went back in the house and put the pan and two mugs they’d used for the hot chocolate in the dishwasher. His hands shook so that he almost broke the mugs when they involuntarily banged together while he was holding them.

This couldn’t go on! It was an impossible situation. It was bad enough that he lusted after Brittany so strongly, but knowing that she returned the feelings and, worse, thought those feelings were love made the whole predicament inconceivable.

He couldn’t take advantage of those tender emotions! If she were older, more experienced, they could admit they were in the throes of passion and enjoy it while it lasted, but his starry-eyed young Cinderella expected a fairy godmother to bring her a Prince Charming who would love her forever.

Unfortunately he wasn’t that man. He was a college professor with a small son and a sick dad, both of whom needed to be taken care of. It was foolish of him to have hired Brittany knowing about the magnetism between them, and now it was purely selfish of him to keep her on.

He’d break her heart if he did, and he’d break his own if he was forced to let her go.

He switched off the kitchen light and headed for the stairway.
The most important thing he’d learned tonight was that he really needed a live-in nanny like Hannah had employed ever since Danny was born. He would prefer an older woman. One who had already raised her own children and didn’t like living alone. A person like that would fit right in with his little family. She would help him raise Danny and also be a companion for Nate.

Actually, all his dad needed was someone to remind him to take his pills and his shots. He could give them to himself.

Ethan started up the stairs. But where was he going to find this paragon? Hannah never seemed to have much trouble finding help. Keeping it, yes. She was as difficult to work for as she was to be married to, but when one nanny left, Hannah always found another one without delay.

So why was he having such a time finding a permanent caregiver for his small son? Was he really searching as hard as he could?

Of course he was. It’s true he’d had a few applicants to his want ad in the campus paper and turned them all down as unsuitable. After all, he couldn’t leave his little boy with just anybody, although Nate was always here to make sure Danny was properly cared for. Still, “adequately cared for” wasn’t enough. Babies needed a full-time mother, and Brittany was filling that role beautifully. She didn’t just go through the motions, she even got down on the floor and played with Danny. He squealed with delight and grabbed handfuls of her beautiful shining hair when she blew raspberries on his bare tummy.

He’d never seen his child as buoyantly happy as he had been since Brittany started taking care of him!

And Nate. He couldn’t love Brittany more if she were his own daughter. How could Ethan send her away when those two needed her so badly?

On the other hand, how could he not send her away when he knew it was not only folly but deceptive to let her stay.
How long could he hold out against his agonizing desire for her? Against the soft sweetness of her?

He reached the top of the stairs and headed for the master bedroom. Not very damn long, that’s for sure, and if he gave in to his longing and seduced her, how could he ever live with himself? She’d expect a proposal, or at least a commitment, and in time the chilling coldness of a loveless marriage would start all over again.