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Authors: Meg Cabot

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2. Once you
have said yes to a date, it would be very unprincesslike to change your mind
and cancel at the last minute because: a) someone you like better has asked you
out, or b) you decide you do not like the boy as much as you
thought.

You HAVE to go on the date. Canceling is only
acceptable if you become ill or there is an unavoidable family emergency, like
a coup in your kingdom. If either of these things happens, you must call your
date at once to let him know. Never, ever just fail to show up on a date. Think
how you would feel if someone did that to you!

3. If someone you don't particularly like asks you out, think
before you say no. Sometimes people don't make very good first impressions, or
act differently around other people than they do when they are just with one
other person. That boy in your Lit class who cracks all the jokes may not be as
cute as the slightly dim guy who sits next to you in World Civ, but remember it
is more fun to laugh than it is to gaze at a chiseled profile.

4. If you really can't stand the guy who's
just asked you out, say, “I'm so sorry, but I already have other plans.” You
don't need to elaborate, or invent complicated lies. For instance, if you say,
“I'm sorry, I have to christen a battleship that night,” and then the guy sees
you at the movies instead, his feelings will be hurt. And princesses try never
to hurt other people's feelings. That's why a princess would never call every
single one of her friends after turning down a date and go, “You'll never
believe who just asked me out.” A princess tries to treat others the way she
would like to be treated.

5. If someone you do like asks you out but you can't go because
you already have something scheduled for that evening, you need to convey your
regret sincerely, so he'll ask you out some other time. Say, “I am so sorry I
can't, I have to assume my place on my rightful throne that night. But I'm free
next weekend, if the invitation is still open.” This way, he will know you
really do want to go out with him, and are not just making up an
excuse.

Tina says: So
He Dumps You…

Everybody gets dumped.
Even totally gorgeous movie stars like Nicole Kidman. Even
princesses.

Here is what you should do while you are
waiting for your heart to heal: Throw yourself into some fun extracurricular
activities. Join your school drama club, or volunteer at your local no-kill
animal shelter, or take up karate, or get a part-time baby-sitting job and
watch dopey Disney movies with the kids. Do something—ANYTHING—to get your mind
off the guy.

Which is not to say that the merest glimpse of him in
the hallway won't pierce your heart like a red-hot poker. But in time it won't
hurt as much as it used to.

And then one day you will realize that it doesn't hurt
at all
, and that this other guy—the one you always liked but didn't think knew you were alive—actually liked you back all along, and the two of you will fall into each other's arms and live happily ever after. Even if you don't happen to be a princess.

TINA HAKIM BABA'S EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH AN ACTUAL GUY, ROYAL CONSORT MICHAEL MOSCOVITZ
 
 

Tina Hakim Baba:

We are extremely fortunate to have been granted access to an actual live guy, Michael Moscovitz, who has agreed to a no-holds-barred interview on the topic of his love for Mia. Michael, first question: Would it be fair to say that your heart sang the first time you saw Mia?

Royal Consort Michael Moscovitz:

Um, well, technically, since the first time I laid eyes on Mia she was six years old, hanging upside down from a set of monkey bars, and her lips were blue because she'd just eaten a Rocket Pop, I would have to say, um, no.

Tina HBB:

All right, well, when
did
you become aware that your life without Mia was an empty page, a blank book, a flimsy tissue of lies?

RC Michael M:

Do I really have to answer this?

Tina HBB:

You said no-holds-barred.

RC Michael M:

Well, then I would have to say the
first time I saw her on in-line skates. Mia's the worst in-line skater I ever
saw. She kept falling down. But then she'd get right back up again like nothing
had happened. It was cute.

Tina HBB:

Cute?

RC Michael M:

Yeah. Cute.

Tina HBB:

Moving on. Does the breeze in the trees seem to sigh the word
Mia
as you walk by?

RC Michael M:

Not really.

Tina HBB:

It doesn't? Okay. But when your gaze meets Mia's, do you feel sparks inside?

RC Michael M:

You know what? I actually have to go. I have a thing. A thing to go to.

Tina HBB:

Just one more question: Which would you say attracted you to Mia most:

a) Her mist-colored eyes

b) Her tawny hair

c) Her puckish yet highly kissable mouth or

d) Her sylphlike figure

RC Michael M:

Um, I would have to say her sense of humor.

Tina HBB:

That is not one of the choices.

RC Michael M:

I know. But it's true.

Tina HBB:

I see. Well. Does every sinew in your being cry out to be reunited with your love when you are apart?

RC Michael M:

I really do have to go now.

Tina HBB:

Okay, but answer this first: Does Mia make you feel complete, fill a hole in yourself you didn't even know you had, make your lips tingle with a single look, inspire you to be better, more courageous, more giving, just to try to deserve her?

RC Michael M:

Um. Yes?

Tina HBB:

It has been a pleasure interviewing you, Michael. You are truly a man among men.

A Note from
Her Royal Highness Princess Mia

I hope you have found this guide helpful. As you can see,
there is a
lot
more to being a princess than just how to wear
a tiara and pluck your eyebrows.

Just remember:

Kindness Counts
Random acts of kindness rock! Instant messaging someone who seems down; offering to go to the movies with the new girl who no one likes; letting your best friend borrow your tiara to wear on her cable access television show—are all extremely princessy things to do.

Just Say No Thank You
Just because you are kind does not mean you have to be a pushover. Don't let other people tell you what to do—unless what they are proposing is for your own good, like taking Algebra, or something. It is princesslike to be assertive. It is unprincesslike to be walked all over.

Smile
Princesses always put their best face forward—not just because some reporter is probably going to jump out of the bushes and snap a picture of you and you don't want to be looking heinous when he does it, but for the good of your kingdom's morale. So you're a too-tall, flat-chested Japanese anime lover with a D-minus in Algebra, and the guy you adore isn't responding to the anonymous love letters you keep slipping into his locker. Never let your public see that any of it is bothering you! Don't be fake, but don't bring the kingdom down, either.

Always Be Gracious
When we lose, we princesses don't let anyone know it bothers us. Instead, we go home and pour out all our hateful, jealous feelings into our diaries. So the guy you like appears to like a girl who knows how to clone fruit flies. So your best friend has a date to the Nondenominational Winter Dance and you don't. Don't let them know it bugs you! Princesses don't want anyone's pity.

And most important:

Be Yourself
Princesses set their own trends, they don't follow the fashion dictates of others. Can a girl with green hair and a belly-button ring really be a princess? Absolutely, if she selected that green hair and belly-button ring because she wanted them, and not just because everyone else is wearing them.

Remember, being a princess is about how you act, not who your parents are, what kind of SAT scores you got, what extracurricular activities you choose to take part in, or how you look, in spite of what Grandmère, Sebastiano, Paolo, and everyone else says.

Being a princess is more of an attitude, really, than a way of life. And you know, even though there aren't enough countries on the planet for each one of us to get a chance to reign supreme, it's possible for all of us at least to
act
like a princess, even if some of you will never actually
be
one (and believe me, you are way better off that way).

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