Princess Lessons

I.
Beauty :

Paolo of Chez Paolo on the proper royal coiffure, manicure, cosmetic application, and skin care

Being a princess is not just about charity work and state functions—image is equally important. The incomparable Paolo shares his secrets

II.
Etiquette :

Dowager Princess Clarisse Renaldo on dining, comportment, being the perfect hostess, and the proper address of nobility

Grandmère decrees what is and what is not socially acceptable

III.
Fashion :

Acclaimed couture designer Sebastiano Grimaldi and Dowager Princess Clarisse Renaldo reveal the essential wardrobe of a princess

Sebastiano and Grandmère step out of the closet

IV.
Character :

Princess Mia and her friends explore how to flourish royally in today's complex societal hierarchies

Being a princess isn't just about how you look. It's about how you act, as well

V .
Education :

Princess Mia's royal advisers reflect on the various aspects of high school—both in the classroom and out of it

From needlepoint to multi-party dispute resolution, all the necessary fields of study for a princess

VI .
The Mysterious World of
Guys :

Tina Hakim Baba dishes about dating, kissing, love, and the hazards of stalking (and being stalked by) a princess. Also: an exclusive interview with royal consort Michael Moscovitz

Tina provides ready remedies for the royally troubled heart

Conclusion :

Princess Mia's final thoughts

And a few random postscripts

About the Author and Illustrator

Other Books by Princess Mia

Credits

Copyright

About the Publisher

Ever since I found out that I am the heir to the throne of a small European principality (Genovia, population 50,000), there has been a
lot
of interest in what actually goes on during my princess lessons with my grandmother, the Dowager Princess Clarisse. I don't know why, because being a princess is actually very boring, and princess lessons with Grandmère pretty much—well—stink. I would much rather be a normal girl and be able to go to softball practice after school than have to go to princess lessons every day (not really, because I don't even like softball, what with my whole hand-eye coordination thing, but you get what I mean).

Anyway, seeing as how everybody keeps asking me,
“Oh, Mia, can you please tell us the right way to curtsy?” and all, I figured I
would share what I've learned during the long, grueling hours I've put in with
Grandmère, so that you, too, can practice being a princess (though I honestly
don't know why you would want to. See above re: stinkage factor).

Everything you need to know about posture and manners and how to address your subjects is here, if you're interested in that kind of thing. Did you know, for instance, that you never call a duke “My Lord”? No, it is always “Your Grace.”

Since I am far from being an
expert at this princess thing, I had to ask some of my friends and relatives to
contribute stuff. And it turns out not even Grandmère knows everything about
being a princess (only please don't tell her I said so).

The one
thing I can't believe is that I am not even getting school credit for this.
Which is so totally unfair, but whatever. Personal sacrifice is all part of the
whole princess package, as you are about to find out.

Real princesses always try to look their best—but, um, my best is probably totally different from yours. There are lots of different kinds of beauty. Like those models we see on magazine covers? A lot of people might hold them up as, like, the epitome of perfection and all of that, but just remember, in France it's considered beautiful
not
to shave under your arms.

So you see, beauty is really relative.

Princesses, like people, come in all different shapes and sizes. There is no one look that is right for everyone. Having a healthy body is way more important than having a body that looks good in low-rise jeans. And of course being a nice person is the most important thing of all. Throughout history, princesses have been remembered not for the waist size of their 501s, but for the good deeds they performed while they were on the throne.

There's one thing that looks good on everyone, though: confidence. Have confidence in yourself and your looks, and others will see your outer beauty as well as the inner.

That's what everybody keeps telling me, anyway.

by Paolo,
owner and proprietor of Chez Paolo, New York City

I, Paolo,
am the one who turned the Principessa Amelia from Ugly Duckling into Swan. You,
too, can look like a princess, if you follow Paolo's simple
rules.

Beauty is
molto importante
, but so
often overdone! A princess's look is
bella
, healthy, and well
groomed.
Fresh
is the goal, and mascara, blush, and gloss are
the tools that will get you there.

Everyone—especially I,
Paolo—loves to play with makeup. But remember, a mask works only at Halloween!
Do not slather on foundation or eyeshadow unless you want to
scare your populace (also, your parents won't like it so much, no?). Natural
and bella is the way Paolo urges all you little principessas to go. If you want
the dramatic look of black kohl and scarlet lipstick, join your school drama
club (I spit on kohl). And do not come crying to Paolo if all the little
princes, they run from you in horror. Only if you follow Paolo's way can you be
assured
molto perfetto
!

PRINCESS ESSENTIALS

What every
principessa should have in her handbag (besides cab fare, breath mints,
emergency tiara, and hairbrush):

• Lipstick or gloss

• Pressed powder compact (to get rid of shiny
nose)

• Concealer (for dark circles under eyes due to that
late-night romantic tryst, no? Also for blemishes)

• Eye pencil

What every principessa should have
in her bathroom (besides a phone and small television so she can keep abreast
of world events even while bathing the royal body):

• Facial cleanser, exfoliator (or use a washcloth, but gently!), and
moisturizer

• Astringent, toner, acne medication, beauty
masks

• Foundation, concealer (for dark
circles/blemishes)

• Eye shadow, liner (no kohl—Paolo spits
on kohl!)

• Blush (natural color—unless you want to look
like a clown principessa)

• Mascara

• Manicure set (nail polish, nail file, nail cutter)

• Hair products (shampoo, conditioner, styling products,
etc.)

The look for royals? Fresh and clean! To get it, follow the beauty
routine I designed for the Principessa Amelia:

1. Wash face morning and night with gentle cleanser. Follow with
exfoliant, if needed (even royals get blackheads! No joke!), and blemish
product or moisturizer.

2.
Wash hair with gentle shampoo once a day, or every other day. Follow with
conditioner. Use a wide-toothed comb to get out tangles. No one wants to see a
bald principessa!

3.
Hair products such as mousse or gel, used sparingly, can help control a mane
gone wild or give body to thin hair. Find the product that works best for you
by consulting a professional hair stylist, like me, Paolo, or by experimenting
at home.

4. Bathe or
shower daily. Principessas are known for smelling nice, no?

5.
Deodorant/antiperspirant is a must! Whether you are playing croquet all day, or
sitting under the hot lights of a television studio being interviewed by a
famous news journalist, a principessa never lets them see her sweat—I mean,
perspire.

6. Shave or
wax unwanted body hair. The Principessa Amelia insists that this is a personal
choice, and that women should not feel that they have to shave just to conform
with “the societal mores of their culture.” I, Paolo, could not disagree more
strongly—even if you are French.

Waxing is messy and can
cause rashes! It is best left to salon professionals like me, Paolo. Hair
removal products like depilatories are expensive, smell bad, and don't remove
all the hair. A good razor and lots of shaving cream is the way to go if you
choose to be hair-free, as a principessa should be (even French
ones).

And please, for
Paolo, if you have hair growing from your upper lip or chin, pluck or bleach it
(follow the instructions carefully on facial bleach packages). Never shave your
face. No principessa should have razor burn over the lip!

7. Even nervous nail biters like the
Principessa Amelia can have pretty nails! Keep them neatly trimmed and polished
with clear gloss (dark polish makes nails look shorter). Pushing back the
cuticles also can make bitten nails look longer.

Everyone is coming to Paolo, crying like a baby: “Oh, my hair is
curly! Make it straight! Principessas have the straight hair!”

Well, I, Paolo, would like to say something:

Principessas
can have curly hair. Principessas can have straight hair. Principessas can have
dark hair. Principessas can have blond hair. Principessas may have cornrows,
extensions, crew cuts, and dreads. The key to having the hair of a true
principessa is: