Precious Embrace (Embrace Series) (20 page)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

“You’re late,” Ali said as she opened the door for Carl at ten o’clock on Monday morning.

“Sorry, I had trouble getting out of the office this morning.”

“You need to be consistent if this is going to work.”

“I’m sorry—I brought breakfast.”

“You mean brunch.”

“Whatever you want to call it.” He shrugged. “Cinnamon rolls and a large vanilla latte’ with whip cream.”

“You brought me a Vanilla Latte—that’s a bribe—what do you want?”

A wide grin broke out on his face. “Not a bribe, it’s an apology for being late.”

“Forgiven. Where’s my latte’?”

“Here is yours,” he said handing her the cup. “I brought regular coffee for Johnny. I didn’t know what he likes.”

Ali nearly choked on her first sip. “He’s not here. Did you think he would be?”

“Yes, well I thought he would want to supervise this since he’s so controlling.”

“He isn’t controlling. He just doesn’t like you and he is protective, especially of Micah.”

“It’s good that he wants to protect Micah but Micah doesn’t need to be protected from his father.”

“Johnny is more Micah’s father than you are.”

He grimaced. “Don’t say that, Alison. I’m trying to make this up to you. I didn’t want to hurt you and you can’t judge how much I care for Micah.”

“I have four empty months proving you don’t care about Micah, Carl,” she said. “And this isn’t about me or hurting me or how you can make this up to me—this is only about Micah.”

“Of course this is about making it up to you. I ignored you all those months you were pregnant, and I know that hurt you. I wasn’t there when you needed me most.”

“I’m with Johnny now, so you can’t—nor do I want you to even try making things up to me.”

“I don’t want you to always feel bad when you think of me…I need your forgiveness, Ali.”

“Is that why you’re here? Trying to clear your conscience. You’re feeling bad for what you did to me—to Sarah and Mark? Because I thought you came for Micah?”

“All of those things…”

She tilted her head. “Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Okay, because”—she looked at her watch—“you’ve been here for ten minutes and you haven’t even looked in Micah’s direction yet.” He was such a contrast to Johnny. Johnny couldn’t wait ten seconds to say hi to Micah when he came through the door—much less ten minutes.

“I haven’t had the chance,” he stammered looking around for Micah.

“Right…” she said adding an eye roll.

“Maybe I should go. I can’t deal with this hostility from you.”

“I thought you wanted to see Micah?”

“I do but…” He gave her a grave look. “Maybe unsupervised would be better.”

She shook her head, pressing her lips together before saying. “Nope, forget it. Now, supervised, or never.”

“Are you going to be like this every week?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I can’t tell you how I’ll feel next week. This week I still hate you for what you did.”

“I guess I deserve that.” He turned to walk toward Micah, staring at him in the baby swing. “He’s a cute little baby isn’t he?”

Ali looked from Carl to Micah and her heart softened just enough. Carl was right, Micah was a beautiful baby. “He is irresistible.”

“We made him together,” Carl said thoughtfully.

“Yes.” Heat flooded her cheeks and the good feeling she’d just had disappeared. “…and that was the very last time you touched me.”

“I’m an idiot.” He looked into her eyes. “I must have really hurt you when I did that.”

“You did.”

“I’m sorry…if I could take it back.”

She shook her head at that and changed the subject. “Do you want to hold him?”

“Sure…” He looked around rubbing his palms on his kakis. She wanted to laugh. Was he looking for an escape route?

“This would be the perfect time to learn how to hold him,” she said.

“I ah…I don’t know, Ali.”

He doesn’t have teeth, Carl, he won’t bite—although.” She chuckled. “He does pull hair, but you should be safe.”

When Carl crossed then uncrossed his arms she said, “Sit down. You’ll feel more secure that way.” Chuckling, she took Micah from the swing and said, “Hey, sweetpea.” She turned back to Carl and he looked like he was about to pass out. She leaned in and met his eyes, only a few inches from his face. “If you feel nervous Micah will sense it and get upset.”

He took a deep breath. “Okay, I’m calm.”

“Sure you are.” She mocked laying Micah in his lap and showing him the correct way to hold him.

“Hey there, Micah,” Carl said. Micah stared at him, and Ali thought he looked a little confused. “I’m your daddy, Micah.”

Carl finally wanted to be a father. How many times had she prayed he would soften to the baby while she was pregnant? But when Micah was born he wouldn’t hold him—wouldn’t be in the delivery room while she gave birth. As Ali watched them, she had to fight back the lump in her throat. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to punch Carl in the face or be happy about this.

She swallowed the lump and forced herself back into ice queen mode. “It takes more than this to be a daddy.”

“I’m trying, Ali. You know if Micah can feel my nervousness then he can feel your hostility.”

“Just maybe Micah has his own hostility toward you.” She shook her head and threw her hands out in frustration. “Why now? Why couldn’t you want to be a father months ago? Why not while I was pregnant? I needed a husband during my pregnancy. I’ve needed help these past few months while I was caring for Micah alone.”

“I can’t change the past. I’m just trying to make this work now.”

She snatched the baby from his arms. “Well it’s not working. Loving your child should come naturally. You shouldn’t have to work at it.”

Carl dropped his hands in his lap and stood. “I’ll try again next week, maybe you’ll be in a better mood.”

“No, I don’t think so,” she said looking down at Micah.

“What do you mean by ‘don’t think so’” He stepped closer to her. “I’m not playing games with you, Alison. I will take what’s mine.”

“Nothing and nobody here is yours, Carl. Not me and certainly not Micah.”

Carl reached out and grasped her arm, pulling her closer.

“Ouch!” She squirmed and tried to pull away. “What are you doing?”

Carl squeezed her arm a little tighter and jerked again, bringing them face to face. “When did you become so fucking unreasonable? I have as much—no—more of a right to be here than that country fuck you’re sleeping with.” The words were hissed through his clenched teeth and his eyes bulged maddeningly. Ali had never seen him like this. Her pulse spiked as she tugged, fighting to get away from him, but he was too strong.

She clamped her hand around Micah, making sure he was secure, and then lifted her knee until it came in contact with his groin. He released her, cursing and sputtering as he bent over to grab himself. Ali backed away from him. “Get out of my house.” Her heart pounded so hard it took her breath away. “Get out!” She shrieked.

Carl’s face scrunched in anger, his nostrils flaring out as he huffed at her. “We’re not finished with this conversation, Alison.”

Ali quickly placed Micah in his swing, her hands shaking as she latched the belt. She straightened and stood between the swing and Carl, ready to go to blows if needed. “The hell we’re not.” She pointed to the front door and said, “Get out and stay the hell away from me and my children.”

Carl looked from her to the swing, his eyes bulging. She couldn’t believe him, never in the years she’d known him had he ever done anything like this. He wasn’t a violent person.

She stared him down, not backing away or giving in at all.

He finally turned and stalked from the room, slamming the front door as he left.

Ali rushed over and locked the door then pressed the stay button, holding it down until the alarm system was armed.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Ali spent the rest of the day packing a bag for her and Micah to spend the night with Johnny, making a point to pull out the portable crib. She couldn’t get her mind off Carl. What had gotten into him? He had always been so mild mannered. So relaxed and cool, hardly ever having his feathers ruffled. Was he really that worried about losing his rights to Micah. He must have really developed feelings for his son…finally.

Just as she zipped up the diaper bag, the doorbell rang. She punched in the code and opened the door for Johnny.

“Hey, sunshine.”

“Hi.”

He pulled her close and held her for several minutes. “I missed you last night.”

“I missed you too,” she said tugging on the neck of his shirt so she could feel his bare skin on her cheek. She nuzzled closer and closed her eyes for a few seconds to enjoy him.

“Where’s my little man?” he said pulling out of the embrace and going to pick up Micah.

“Hey there, Micah,” he said swinging him around making him smile. “So you’re hangin’ out at my pad tonight, huh.” He looked at Ali, “Did you get that little crib?”

“Yeah, right here.” She smiled. “So what did you end up getting at the store?”

“Oh ah, I haven’t gone yet,” he said.

“I thought you were doing that first.”

“Well…I was thinking you and Micah should go with me.”

“We can wait, come back for us when you’re finished,” she said.

“No, I want you to come along.” 

She stared at him for a moment, her stomach turning with nervous energy, not sure what to say.

“It’s time for you to get out. You’ve been cooped up for two weeks.”

“I am getting out. I’m going to your house.”

“Sweetheart, you can’t hide forever. I know you’re scared, but you will need to go out eventually. I have to start work in a week and I need you to be able to get around on your own.”

“I can go out…Johnny.” She threw her hand out then dropped it at her side. “I just choose not to.”

He shrugged. “Prove it.”

“Fine,” she said turning away from him.

“Listen, darlin’.” He came up behind her and grasped her upper arms. “I need to make sure you’ll be alright while I’m working.”

She brought her palm up and rubbed her forehead. “I didn’t realize you were starting so soon.” She chuckled humorlessly, closing her eyes. She was sleeping with a cop.

“I have my orientation on Thursday and I have to sign the HR paperwork and be assigned a partner.”

She turned and tried to plaster on a smile. “Are you happy to be starting work finally?”

“I can’t be while I’m worried about you. You can’t become a hermit because of what happened. Don’t let those kidnappers get the best of you.”

Her eyes dropped to his chest. “I’m not.”

“Then let’s go. I thought I’d leave my truck here and take your car so we don’t have to move the car seat.”

She swallowed back the nausea and agreed. “Okay, let’s go.”

When Johnny pulled into the grocery store parking lot, Ali tensed up. He parked and turned the car off then looked at her. “Baby steps…okay.”

“I’m fine,” she said reaching for the door handle with a trembling hand. When she saw the tremble she made a fist and pulled her hand back.

“What are you worried about?” he asked.

Ali crossed her arms over her chest and looked out the passenger window turning toward the back window.

“Do you trust me?”

Ali looked at him quickly making eye contact then nodded. “Of course.”

“Take a deep breath, sweetheart.”

Ali turned away again, her chin quivering.

“Alison?” He put a finger under her chin and turned her face to his. He leaned over and got nose to nose with her. “I will not let anything happen to you or Micah. Now take a deep breath.”

Ali inhaled and the nerves in her stomach fluttered sharply. She let out a long ragged breath.

“That’s better,” he said. “I’ll get Micah.”

Johnny got out and reached into the back seat, unhooking Micah from the car seat and picking him up. He cradled Micah in one arm then opened her door and reached in to take her hand. She took it and got out of the car, her eyes locked on the ground.

He handed Micah to her and said, “Hold him a moment. I have something to make this easier.”

She took Micah, her eyes scanning the parking lot, looking for trouble. When she looked back at Johnny, he’d pulled out what looked like an empty backpack. He slid his arms in and tightened the straps then clipped the belt into place. Now that he had it strapped into place, she could see it was a front facing baby carrier. “Okay.” He held his arms out and took Micah, sliding him into the pack.

Ali smiled and said, “That’s pretty cool.”

“Isn’t it?” He grinned at her and said, “He’s totally safe and in my care. If you trust me, then let’s go.”

Ali wrapped her hand around one of Micah’s little feet sticking out of the leg hole of the carrier. She rubbed his foot for a moment, giving herself a little time to build her courage, then she nodded and said, “Okay…I can do this.”

He took her hand and pulled her along. They stopped at the back of the car and he said, “Go ahead and look around, get familiar with your surroundings.”

She shifted her gaze and scanned the parking lot, taking in every angle.

“We good?”

“Yeah,” she whispered.

“You know, there’s nothing wrong with the way you’re feeling. Anyone who’s been hit by a car is going to be a little shy of parking lots.” When they stepped up on the curb, he looked at her again. Her eyes were wide and alert but dry which made him feel better. “Since I have Micah, you can push the cart.”

She nodded and pulled a cart from the stall before pushing it into the entry door.

Ali slowly relaxed as they shopped. The tension in her shoulders giving a little, although her alertness was obvious by the way her jaw tightened whenever someone looked at Micah. When they had everything they needed, he paid for the groceries and let her push the cart out of the building. They stopped at the curb and Ali scanned the parking lot slowly. He did a quick scan too before stepping down and walking to the car with her. Ali tensed up then picked up her pace as a car drove up behind them. She looked at Johnny like a dear in headlights, but he gave her a reassuring smile and clicked the trunk open with her keys.

“Keep breathing, sweetheart.”

She nodded. “I’m fine, really fine.”

“Well it’s good to hear your voice again.” He grinned when her cheeks turned pink. “Take Micah and strap him in while I load the groceries.”

By the time he had the groceries loaded in the truck, she and Micah were safely buckled in. He slid in behind the steering wheel and gave her a long look. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” She nodded, trying to smile.

He looked in the rearview mirror. “How ‘bout you Micah, you cool too?” He waited then said, “All right, let’s get going.”

When they arrived at Johnny’s house he could tell Ali had relaxed considerably. She helped him unload the car and he began planning another outing for the next day so she could try again.

“You’ve done a lot of unpacking. When did you buy the new linens on your bed?” she asked after they were settled in.

“That’s Sarah’s doing. She called it a house-warming gift. When I came home the bed was already made and the linen closet stocked.”

“She is so sweet,” Ali said.

“Yeah.” He stepped closer and leaned in to kiss her. “And that’s
our
bed…not mine. You picked it out, remember?” He felt her tense up and leaned his head back. “Shit—sorry.”

“It’s okay. That was a great day until…”

“I guess now we have to make good memories to associate with that bed.”

“Yeah,” she said and looked up into his eyes. “I am okay.”

“Are you?”

“Yes, just adjusting but I’m fine. Don’t worry.” She reached up and rubbed at the worry lines between his eyes.

“Good because I really want to enjoy you tonight.”

“Ditto.” She smiled and leaned into him. He drew her closer and kissed her until she softened and curved against him.

“I’ve missed you so much this week.” He trailed his hands down her sides and cupped her hips. “I haven’t felt so sick with longing since right after getting home from Maui.”

“Me too…gosh that was an awful time,” she said shaking her head. “I had no idea I would see you again.”

“Are you glad you did?”

“I think I’ve already proven how happy I am to have you here.” She stared at him unblinking and said, “Were you—did you…ah ha.” She squeezed her eyes closed. “Nevermind.”

“What?”

“I was going to ask if you dated…any other women since then—but I don’t want to know.”

Johnny gave her a teasing smile. “Did you see any other men?”

“You already know the answer to that.” She frowned. “I even tried not to see you.”

“That’s over, right? You’re not going to try that ‘I can’t be involved right now’ thing again are you?”

“Yes, that’s over. It’s beyond a choice now.”

“It’s always a choice…you just have to choose me.”

“I choose you,” she whispered. “You own every part of me.” Her cheeks brightened again and her eyes glowed with intensity. The honesty in her words and expression made his heart skip a beat.

Johnny cupped her neck and pulled her closer, gripping her face in both hands. “I promise I will never give you a reason to regret this.”

“That’s a big promise.”

“A promise is a promise.”

When she didn’t say anything he said, “I wasn’t looking for you either, but I couldn’t have lived with myself if I didn’t come find you and at least try.”

Her eyes grew moist and he was happy to see an honest reaction out of her, especially a positive one.

“And I have no regrets.” He touched her lips with his gently, tenderly, like a warm breeze. Slowly he intensified the kiss and threaded his hands in her hair. “Alison, my sweet Alison.”

She closed her eyes and a tear fell from between her lids. “I love you, Johnny.” She opened her eyes and met his. “And I have no regrets either.”

An impatient cry blurted out from across the room and they both smiled. “I guess he isn’t getting enough attention,” Johnny said.

“He’s hungry.” Ali wiped the tears off her cheek and reached for the diaper bag. “I’ll feed him while you start dinner.”

Johnny began marinating the chicken breast while he watched Ali feed Micah baby cereal and apple sauce. “Solid food finally, bet you’re happy about that, Micah. The formula stuff is pretty yucky.” Johnny took out the lettuce and started making a salad. “I’m telling you, little man, you should really protest the non-breastfeeding thing.”

Ali laughed at him. “Stop that—”

Johnny’s cell chimed interrupting her. She picked it up and glanced at the caller ID before handing it to him.

“Thank you, sweet…” He looked at the display and hit ignore. “Oh, yeah, don’t have time for that conversation.”

“May I ask…” she said with raised eyebrows. “Who was that?”

He smiled. “That was Abigail…and she likes to talk.”

Ali waited for him to elaborate but he didn’t so she said, “Yeah, I saw that. Abigail Bennett.”