Poison Me Sweetly (15 page)

I manage to pull my shit back together in only one
day, versus two or three. This time it's easier. I think it has to do with the
fact that Caleb had pulled me out of the dark before it could really take hold of
me. On Thursday, I was tempted to go to my classes—to at least try to do
something normal as I recovered from the episode I'd had. I'd almost gone, too.
But then I thought of seeing the others on campus, and I'd chickened out. I
ended up staying home all day. The guys didn't make it easy on me, though. They
text messaged me stupid stuff, just to make sure I'd respond. I'd caved and
given them what they wanted. If I ignored them, that would mean a knock on my
door. I received one text message from Caleb that day. I'd expected something
along the lines of him asking how I was feeling. What I got instead was:
There
are so many things you can do with the human mouth...why waste it on talking?

I'd burst out laughing at the unexpectedness of it.
Another cheesy one-liner. When we started this non-friendship, I'd warned
myself not to ever text message him back, or it'll give him the green light to
start contacting me that way as well. I couldn't resist. I sent back,
You
need to add some variety to your sex life. Use
the other hand.
He hadn't replied back, and I was grateful for that.

On Friday, I decide it's time to go back to the land
of the living. I'll have to face the guys sooner or later. Thankfully, they
make it easy on me. When they see me on campus, they treat me like normal.
Normal for Ace means getting tackled on the lawn in the quad.

Caleb doesn't go out of his way to single me out or
approach me. Neither does Jeremy. They let the conversation flow, and when I
take off for another class, none of them follow me. Which is why I agreed to
come to this party tonight.

I'm not in the mood, though. I should be. We're at a
condo overlooking Alamitos Beach. The party is wild, and the alcohol is the
good stuff. Under normal circumstances, I'd be halfway tanked by now. Instead,
I sip on my beer and watch everyone else work at getting themselves hammered.

Puzzlement sweeps through me as I stand near the wall,
watching others dance and grind. Something is changing within me. It started
that night we'd gone to the bar—when we went to go see that band play at
Playground. It was as if my conversation with Ace had knocked some sense into
me. I'm finding that I'm not all that interested in hooking up with random guys
anymore. And lately, alcohol is still appealing to me, but it’s no longer an
essential necessity.

I peer down at the beer bottle I’m holding, and my
eyebrows draw together. Maybe I'm getting better? Is that it? I haven't seen
Micah lately. And the episode after the nightmare wasn't as bad as it usually
gets. A little voice in my head tells me I'm fooling myself. The only reason I
hadn't gotten lost in the darkness was because of Caleb. I'm not better. He
just happened to be there at the time. Next time, I'll be curled up on my
bathroom floor, knees pulled up to my chest in agony and defeat. My mood is
shifting, and I know if I keep going with this train of thought, I might just
end up right where I fear.

I need some fresh air.

A few minutes later, I am walking across the sand
towards the water. It's dark out, but the moon shines brightly across the lazy
waves. The scent of the ocean and the slight breeze in the air has me feeling
refreshed. My earlier moodiness dissipates, and I sit down on the sand about
fifteen feet away from the breaking waves. After securing the beer bottle in
the sand, I lean back on my hands and close my eyes, enjoying the odd sense of
peace that I feel in this moment.

“You're normally the life of the party.” Caleb's voice
floats over me, and I tense up slightly.

I hadn't expected anyone to follow me. I've made it
clear that I want to do my own thing tonight. I just need a little space, but
yet I want to be here to prove to them that I’m okay. That they don't have to
worry over me. I glance up and find him standing above me, hands tucked into
his jeans pockets as he peers down at me. “So are you,” I point out.

He shrugs. “Not in the mood tonight, I guess.”

“Me neither.”

Silence falls over us, and the only sound is the
crashing of the waves. I wonder if he's going to bring up my nightmare. I remember
telling him Wednesday night that I wouldn't talk about it with him, ever. He'd
told me he'd respect that.

“Beautiful night,” he comments.

I turn and stare back at the waves. “
Mmm
.”

“Up for a swim?”

“I'm not skinny dipping with you,” I say dryly as I
tilt my head and look up at him again.

He chuckles. “That's not exactly what I had in mind.
Platonic non-friends, remember?”

My eyes narrow. “Did one of the guys send you out
here?” Even thought they'd backed off, I can still tell that they're watching
me closely. This will last a few days until they are sure I'm over the worst of
my mini-breakdown.

“No. Why?” Caleb asks as he pulls his hands out of his
pockets and sits down next to me.

“Just wondering.” I study him for a long moment. The
breeze is messing with his dark hair, and he looks relaxed as he stretches out
his jean-clad legs. He rests his weight on his hands, like me, and gazes out at
the ocean. I can barely see his expression in the moonlight, so I can't read
his mood. I'd seen him earlier that evening, and he'd seemed to be his usual,
light-hearted self.

I feel oddly awkward around him after what had gone
down this week, and I struggle to make conversation. “You're from Tennessee,
right? Why are you spending your sophomore year here and not there?” I expect
him to answer me right away, but instead, he falls oddly silent. I sense this
is a touchy subject, and I'm about to ask something else, something less
personal, when he finally speaks up.

“I just needed a change of scenery. Do my own thing
for a while.” He doesn't elaborate, and I am certainly not going to pry. “So
design is your thing, eh?” he asks instead.

I shrug.

“You're the worst interior decorator I've ever met.
Not that I've met many, seeing as I'm a guy and don't give a
flyin
' shit about frilly girly stuff—but you suck at it,”
he muses as he flashes me a grin.

I'm startled by his comment, because it came out of
left field. Literally out of nowhere. “How would you know if my tastes 'suck'
as you so eloquently put it?”

“Your apartment says it all.”

This has me falling silent. So he
had
noticed
the irony of my empty, undecorated apartment. “Haven't had time,” I say
off-handedly.

“If you say so.”

“What about you? What's your plan?” I toss back as I
lift a hand and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear before settling myself back
in the sand again.

“I'm majoring in education. I want to be a counselor.
A high school counselor, hopefully.”

I'm surprised by this news. I can't imagine him
counseling young teenagers.

“Yeah, your silence says it all,” he says with a sigh.
His head turns and he stares out at the water.

“No, I mean—”

“Nah, I get it. You've only seen two sides of me. The
one that wants to get into your pants, and the one that's been a total ass.”

“It wasn't like that. I was just surprised, that's
all. What other sides do you have? You've seen all mine,” I joke.

“Literally,” he teases as he focuses his attention
back on me.

“Ha-ha. Answer the question, Cowboy.” I'm curious as
to what he'll say. I think there's a lot to Caleb that I haven't seen yet. His
calm acceptance of my breakdown after my nightmare tells me he's not the
arrogant playboy I'd thought him to be.

Caleb groans. “You can't call me that anymore.”

“Why not? You call me Sparky,” I point out. And it reminds
me of that night he'd pressed up against me in that hallway, his seductive
voice telling me how explosive we could be together. My body warms every time
he calls me by that nickname.

“When you call me Cowboy, I envision you riding me.”

This has me smirking. I'm glad he's just as affected
by our attraction as I am. At least I'm not alone in this battle we're fighting
against our bodies’ needs.

He catches sight of my smirk and looks back at the
ocean. “Platonic,” I hear him remind himself under his breath. He then quickly
changes the topic. “Well, in reference to your question, I'm actually a good
listener. I know I haven't given that impression, but I can be a really good
friend. Non-friend, I guess, where you're concerned,” he amends.

“I'm a lousy friend.”

“The guys don't seem to think so. Your name is brought
up on a regular basis when I'm around them.”

A snort escapes me. “Yeah, because I'm such a bitch.”

“I've never heard them complain about you. If they're
thinking of going out, one of them automatically brings up your name, and they
wonder what you're up to, if they should invite you. Then there's times where
we're all
shootin
' shit to one another, and one of
them will inevitably crack up and bring up your name, wondering what your smartass
reply would have been in retaliation,” he says as he looks at me.

Now I turn my gaze away and stare at the ocean. I
don't say anything. I hadn't known they talk about me as much as they do. I'm
not sure what to do with that information. Truthfully, it causes a bit of
anxiety in the pit of my stomach.

“I get the feeling you're not thrilled with that
information,” Caleb says lightly.

I give my usual shrug.

“So, about that swim?”

As he drops the topic, I relax again. “You're very
persistent.”

“Persistence usually pays off.”

Yeah, I know that better than anyone. It was how he'd
gotten me into bed in the first place. My eyes drift back to him. “Not this
time. I'm not a good swimmer. Get me in water over my head, and I'm likely to
drown.”

“You'll be fine. I won't let anything happen to you,”
he assures.

Everything stills within me at his words. “I don't
think so.”

“Alright,” he says easily. “I can teach you to swim
sometime if you want. We can meet at the Student Rec and Wellness Center, or
the Student Union, and use one of the pools,” he offers.

“I'll think about it,” I reply, though I have no
intention of taking him up on his offer.

“Just text me sometime if you're in the mood.”

“Okay.” I rise to my feet and wipe sand off the back
of my shorts. I'm used to “Controlling Caleb,” or “Caleb the Seducer,” or even
“Caleb the Ass,” but “Caleb the Friend,” is equally distracting. “I think I'm
going to go in now.”

“I'm going to hang out here for a bit,” he tells me.

I'm relieved he has no intention of following me and
continuing our conversation. I need some distance from him. “Later,” I say
before I turn and walk back up the beach towards the condo.

I didn't realize how much Caleb had gotten under my
skin until I felt the first stirrings of jealousy the following night at a
party.

Yes, I said jealousy.

Ironic, isn't it? Me? Jealous? It's hard for me to
wrap my mind around. I don't think I've ever felt this kind of jealousy before.
I mean, there was my only boyfriend, Alex. But he only ever had eyes for me. I
got jealous over how much time he spent with his friends. It was never caused
by another girl.

If I wasn’t moody earlier, I certainly am now.
Especially now that everyone’s left me to do their own thing. There's a lot of
parties in the area, and our group had split up. We'd lost Ace right away at
the first party, and then Jeremy ditched me as soon as we entered this one.
Caleb had moved on, and the odd sense of closeness I'd felt with him last night
has become a thing of the past. Already forgotten by him, evidently.

My hand tightens on the plastic cup I'm holding as I
watch Caleb dance with a blonde haired girl that always seems to be around him
lately. Envy unfolds within my chest as I watch Caleb's hands slide down to the
blonde's ass with an assuredness that bothers me. His hips press into hers as
they grind, and she's all over him, her head tilted back as she smiles
flirtatiously. His head lowers and he murmurs something in her ear.

My gut clenches.

He'll take her home tonight. Do all the things that he
did to me, to her.

The feelings unfurling inside me are new and most
definitely unwelcoming. How had this happened? I want to be the one in his arms
tonight. I have no claim on him, and yet...I feel an ache deep inside that
he'll be with her later.

I tear my eyes from the dancing couple and find myself
peering down at my mostly full cup.  I decide it's time to throw in the
towel and leave since I’m no longer in the mood to get drunk. I’m also going to
need a cab. I had assumed I'd be drinking and having a good time, and that I'd
be too inebriated to drive, so I'd hitched a ride tonight with Ace.

I leave my drink discarded on a table as I make my way
to the front of the house and leave. A couple of guys try to hit on me as they arrive
to the party, but I barely even acknowledge them. It doesn't take long to track
down a cab, and within ten minutes, I'm entering my silent apartment.

I flip on the kitchen light, rubbing my hands over my
face warily. It's not lost on me that Caleb's the reason I'd gone out tonight.
I'd actually been
hoping
to spend time with him. And I don't mean in
bed.

He didn't panic when I'd had my nightmare. He'd been
calm. He'd taken the situation in stride, and there hadn't been any pity or
judgment within the depths of his gaze. He'd treated me like normal and hadn’t
hovered. He'd let me deal on my own as if he somehow understood me. Like he got
me.

With a soft sigh, I leave the kitchen and trail off to
my bedroom. It’s becoming increasingly clear that I need to back off when it
comes to Caleb. I'm beginning to
like
him and that can't happen. If I
give him a piece of my heart, I know he'll shred it to pieces. It's inevitable.

My phone vibrates in the back pocket of my jeans. I
toss my keys on my dresser as I pull out the phone and glance at the screen.
I'm surprised to see
it's
Ace. “Hey,” I say into the
phone.

Loud music comes from the other line. “Uh, is this
Zoey?” a female voice asks.

I frown. “Yes. Who is this?”

“Ace wanted me to call. Can you come pick him up? He's
not feeling well, and I've had a lot to drink tonight.”

My hand tightens on the phone. “Let me speak to him,”
I order.

“Uh, he's kind of out of it.”

“Where are you?” She rattles off the address. “Can you
help him outside? I'm on my way.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

I disconnect the call and shove it in the back pocket
of my jeans. I grab my keys and rush out of the apartment. I have a bad
feeling, and I don't bother waiting for the elevator. I practically fly down
the stairs and jog to my car.

My mind races as I drive. Ace is rarely ill, and he's
careful when he drinks. He's a complete control freak so allowing alcohol to
muddle his mind is a definite no-go. Unless he doesn't plan on hooking up that
night. Those nights he'll let loose, but it's not that often. Ace's idea of
tanked is a good buzz. Even buzzed, he's alert and aware of everything and
everyone around him. If Ace couldn't even talk on the phone...

I push the speed limit as my hands tighten on the
steering wheel. Ace either drank too much or took something. Neither of them
seem like a logical explanation. Ace never goes past his own personal limit
with alcohol, and he won't go near drugs. Hell, he's even lectured me when I've
had a momentarily lapse of judgment and taken something at a party.

I have no idea what I am going to find when I get
there.

Luck is with me tonight. A car is just pulling out
from in front of the house, and I quickly nab the space before cutting the
engine of the Camaro. I run towards the house, and that’s when I spot him.

He's on his back, arms flung out, and he looks
unconscious. Two guys are standing less than ten feet away, carrying on a
conversation—completely oblivious to Ace. The girl that had called me is
nowhere to be seen. Fucking bitch. When I find out who she is, my fist will be
introducing itself to her face.

I run over to Ace and drop to my knees beside him.
“Ace? Hey. C'mon,” I say as I pat his cheek. He doesn't stir. “Ace?” I ask with
growing alarm.

This is when I notice his breathing is erratic. With
shaky hands, I check his pulse. It's weak. He's having some sort of reaction to
something. My first thought is to call an ambulance, but I'd have to waste time
giving the location and wait for the paramedics to arrive. It'd be faster to
get him in my car and take him to Emergency.

“Hey!” I yell at the two guys that are still talking.
They pause, their eyes flickering over me with interest. “Help me get him to my
car. Please?” I tack on, figuring a bit of politeness might help.

One of them asks, “What's in it for us, sweetheart?”

“What?”

“Nothing is free these days.”

“Thanks for nothing you piece of shits!” I snarl at
them before I slip my arms beneath Ace's shoulders and struggle to ease him up.

“Zoey?”

I look over my shoulder at the sound of Caleb's voice.
He's walking up the front lawn, and relief streaks through me. I don’t know why
he’s here and not with the blonde, but I’m beyond grateful. “Help me, Caleb.
Something’s wrong with Ace!”

He seems to notice Ace for the first time, and he
hurries over, kneeling at his side. “What's going on?”

My voice shakes slightly as I say, “I don't know. Some
girl called and said Ace needed me to pick him up. He's in bad shape.” Now that
someone else is here to take over, I can feel the alarm and fear building.

This is
Ace
.

I can't lose him.

Caleb checks his pulse. “We need to get him to the
hospital.”

“My car's right there,” I say, nodding towards the
curb. Caleb eases Ace's unconscious body into a sitting position, then he
carefully sets him over his shoulder. I quickly rise to my feet and rush to my
car. I open the passenger door and yank the seat back as far as it'll go so
there's room for Ace's legs.

Caleb carefully situates him in the seat and secures
the seatbelt over his chest. Then he leans in and pries open one of Ace's eyes.
He studies his pupil in the light provided by the car’s interior dome light.
“He's definitely jacked up on something. His pupils are abnormally small.” He
straightens up and looks at me. “Go straight to Emergency. I'll be right behind
you, my car is just down the block.”

I nod and hurry around the car to the driver's side. I
slide in, and as I turn the ignition, I see Caleb jogging down the street in
the direction of his car. I glance at Ace with fear building in my chest. His
head is tilted towards me, face slack in his unconscious state. A strand of
blond hair falls across his cheek, and I want to lean over and tuck it behind
his ear, but that would be wasting time. Time that Ace may not have.

“Just hang in there, Ace,” I plead as I quickly pull out
onto the street. The drive to the hospital is a complete blur. The only thing I
can think about is getting Ace there in time. When I pull up to Emergency,
Caleb parks his car right behind mine. He has the passenger door open, and he's
pulling Ace out before I can even shut off the ignition. I stare after him as
he hurries inside with Ace.

My hands are trembling where they’ve loosened their
grip on the steering wheel. Is this really happening? Ace is always so strong
and resilient. He'll be fine, right? But a little voice inside me tells me he
may not be. Drugs can kill even healthy people.

Oh God.

I jerk into action and rush inside. By the time I get
there, Ace has already been rushed off and Caleb is pacing restlessly, one hand
running through his hair. He looks at me briefly as a nurse directs us to a
waiting room that has about a dozen people scattered among the chairs. While
some look bored, others look anxious. Most likely family members hoping for
good news.

I know what it's like to get the bad news.

My arms fold over my chest as I walk to the windows
overlooking the darkened Emergency parking lot. I sense Caleb behind me, and my
eyes lift to focus on his reflection. “Did they say anything when they took
him?”

“Not a word.”

My lips press together tightly.

“You said someone called you?” he asks.

“You didn't get a call?”

“No. I got this,” he says, pulling out his phone and
showing me a text message from Ace when I turn around to peer at it. None of
the letters spell anything,
it’s
total gibberish. “I
figured I'd better head to the last place I saw him.”

“AJ and Jeremy. They need to know,” I mumble.

Caleb squeezes my shoulder. “I'll call them. I'll be
right back.”

I stand there, not moving from the window as fear
ravages my insides. If I lose Ace... I can't go through it again. I just can't.

Caleb touches my shoulder a couple minutes later.
“Hey. Come sit,” he urges gently.

“I'm fine,” I say quietly, even though my mind is
screaming that life can't possibly be this cruel, can it? What if I hadn't
gotten to him fast enough?

Strong hands grasp my shoulders, and Caleb turns me
around so he can look in my eyes. They are calm while I am anything but. “Don't
go there, okay? We don't know anything yet. He was still breathing and had a
pulse when we brought him in. Remember that.”

I lick my dry lips. “He wouldn't go near drugs.”

Caleb sighs. “He probably picked up someone else's
drink by mistake and didn't realize it. That shit happens.”

I nod but don't say anything more. There's not much to
say. All we can do is wait, and it's the waiting that is going to slowly
torture me.

“Come on,” Caleb slips an arm around me and leads me
to the nearest set of chairs.

I sit down, barely aware of Caleb sitting next to me. It
feels like hours, but I'm betting it was only about fifteen minutes before AJ
and Jeremy arrive at the same time.

AJ takes one look at my pale features and instantly
pulls me up from my seat. He hugs me firmly to him while rubbing my back.
“It'll be fine,
Zo
. You'll see.”

I hug him back, eyes closing as I try to accept his
comfort, and I can hear Jeremy asking how this all came about. While Caleb
rehashes the night’s events, AJ sits down, pulling me onto his lap. I cuddle in
close, my arms wrapping around his shoulders as I rest my forehead in the crook
of his neck. I'm struggling to keep my sanity. My mind keeps flickering to that
day I'd woken up in the hospital, only to find out that the nightmare had been
real. That Micah was dead. It's all I can do to keep the memory at bay.

Conversation falls silent as we all wait for some sort
of news.

Minutes go by.

Then, an hour.

Then, two.

I can't stand it anymore. I can't just sit here and
wait. It’s slowly killing me in the inside. I stir in AJ's arms and sit up.

He looks at me questioningly. “You okay?”

Of course not, I want to yell at him. Instead, I just
nod and rub the side of my face. “I need to do something. My car's still out
front, I'll go park it.”

He frowns at me and Jeremy speaks up before he can.
“I'll take care of it,” he offers.

I glance at him and shake my head. “I need the fresh
air.” I slide off AJ's lap. “I'll be back.”

AJ begins to rise to his feet. “I'll come with.”

“I can handle five minutes on my own!” I snap. Jeremy
looks away, and AJ hesitates before reclaiming his seat with a nod. I glance at
Caleb to see he's studying me, but it doesn't look like he's going to call me
out on my rudeness.