Plain Answers About the Amish Life (16 page)

“We used to bicker more, have disagreements about this little rule and that little rule and who did what differently in which districts. Then something…bigger happened, something terrible,” she said, her voice faltering for a moment, “and we realized all the arguing was so pointless. There were far more important matters in life.”

Though I am not Amish, I knew exactly what she meant. Sometimes it takes a tragedy to put everything else into perspective.

31

WHY ARE THEY AMISH?

I
n the course of writing this book, I have thought a lot about Amish life. About the good and the bad, the pros and the cons.

Picturing myself in their world, I first think about the cons. I imagine all their rules and how I would chafe so strongly against them. I think of not being allowed to have electricity or choose my own style of clothing or pursue my education. I think of how I would resent being discouraged from having theological discussions or prohibited from singing along with a praise band in church. I look at my children and can't fathom limiting their education or their occupational choices. As charming as the Amish life can seem from the outside looking in, there are many reasons I would never want to be Amish.

And yet…

And yet there is much to be said for the Amish way of life, much to admire, much to emulate. Their peaceful existence. Their strong work ethic. The way they constantly strive for Christlikeness. It draws me in a way I don't quite understand. Still, I know that living in their world couldn't work for me.

What I've been trying to understand is why it works for
them
.

Truly, why are they Amish? As I researched this book, I came up with several answers to that question.

First, I believe the Amish find tremendous personal satisfaction in belonging to something bigger than themselves. Their incredibly strong family and community ties make the difficult parts of life easier, the rules worth following, the lifestyle worth living. Belonging to a group of believers with whom one worships, fellowships, goes to school, works, and plays would be incredibly fulfilling. Imagine knowing that if your barn burned down, your friends would show up and build you another one. Imagine facing catastrophic medical
issues with the knowledge that your community would shoulder the financial burden beyond what you were able to pay. Imagine living in a community that was a real community, where everyone's duty was to love one another, care for one another, befriend one another, and even discipline one another—all because God requires them to. Imagine the safety net that would provide. In a world where we hardly know our next-door neighbors, the thought of being that strongly connected to an entire people group is appealing indeed.

Second, the family structure provides much to admire as well. The children of the Amish spend an enormous amount of time in the company of their parents. The Amish see childrearing as their most important job, and they are always instructing, loving, guiding, and teaching. Who wouldn't enjoy knowing that their highest calling was simply to be God in the flesh to one's own children?

Third, the Amish have a wonderful way to grow old. They have no institutions to care for the elderly. Instead, families stay together, with the older parents shifting into the
Grossdaadi Haus
, where they can age with grace and dignity. They often end their days right there at home.

Fourth is their calm and simple day-to-day life. Without televisions, things are quieter and more peaceful; without telephones and computers, life has far fewer interruptions. Given the Amish emphasis on simplicity and serenity, one can easily imagine lingering after dinner with the family, reading or sewing, sharing news of the day, the children quietly playing nearby.

Finally, I believe that the Amish enjoy living as they do because God is so very central to all of it. The Amish strive mightily to live within His will, follow the Scriptures, and truly be in the world but not of the world. For those who embrace Christ as Savior, theirs is a joyous and noble path indeed.

That's why it works for them.

Perhaps this is also why Amish fiction is so popular: Though we can't imagine life without modern conveniences and unlimited entertainment options, something is incredibly appealing to us about living fully for God in a home that is technology-free, family focused, and surrounded by a loving and supportive community. Through
reading, we can experience all of that vicariously as we briefly visit their world.

But as we put away the books and come back out again, let us bring with us all that is fine and good and true about the Amish.

Then may we apply it to our non-Amish lives.

32

WHAT CAN THE AMISH TEACH US?

T
here are so many valuable lessons the Amish can teach us.

Separation
. Many of my Louisiana friends and relatives didn't fully comprehend their dependence on “the grid” until Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath. Left without electricity or phone service for days, weeks, and in some cases months, they found themselves at the mercy of the weather (no air-conditioning!), the sunshine (no electric lights or television!), and the U.S. Postal Service (no e-mail!). And so much more.

Our lives depend on electricity from the first tones of the clock radio in the morning to the last light of the reading lamp at night. Sometimes when we look at the Amish, we're tempted to romanticize a life lived by candlelight dinners and woodstoves. However, having dined in an Amish home on a sweltering summer night when the lighting only added to the heat, I can say that the notion is highly overrated.

Rather than eliminating our dependence on the grid, our goal should be to moderate it. Taking a cue from the Amish, we can turn off the television, the computer, and the telephone far more often than we do. Once in a while, we should turn off the lights and fire up the candles. But may we never underestimate the value of turning those lights back on when we need them—not to mention basking in the warmth of our heaters or the coolness of our air conditioners as well.

Rules
. Non-Amish parents might not communicate their household rules and expectations as formally as the Amish do in their
Ordnung
, but good parenting involves the creation and enforcement of various boundaries for our children. Just as the Amish periodically review their religious regulations and tweak or change them as necessary, we would do well to occasionally take a closer look at our own family rules and do the same.

Whether we loosen the reins a bit as our children mature or tighten up when they do not act responsibly, our rule making should be a dynamic process that addresses new challenges and changes in the light of our own family goals and principles. Once established, rules need consequences to remain effective, something the Amish have long understood and practiced.

Clothing and grooming
. Most Christian denominations don't dictate their members' clothing choices, but make no mistake: Our clothes do reflect our belief systems, regardless. I'm always so dismayed when I see Christian boys sporting T-shirts with offensive messages or Christian girls wearing skimpy outfits, teeny bikinis, belly shirts, and super-low-cut jeans. I'm not a prude, but as the mother of two grown Christian daughters I can honestly say it is possible for teens to dress every bit as fashionably as their peers without having to cross the line into provocative or offensive outfits. It's not easy but it is possible—and most of all, it's important.

Stylish clothing that also happens to be modest says a lot about the wearer without saying a word, much as the simple
kapp
, dress, and apron of an Amish girl speaks for her.

Technology
. Recently, our family was invited to stay at a small cottage in upstate New York. Perched on a hill overlooking Lake Champlain, the place was surrounded by all sorts of opportunities for water sports, hiking, and sightseeing. When we arrived, I told my husband I was glad to see the cottage had a television, as I had brought my Wii Fit just in case.

“Wii Fit?” he said, laughing. “How about we go outside and enjoy some
real
fit?”

It's easy to forget how simulated our lives are these days. Studying the Amish way of life reminds us that we can survive without all of the gadgets and devices we think are so indispensable.

We also need to keep in mind technology's dark side: cell phones that stop us from ever getting away from the office, texting that lets our teenagers carry on conversations with their friends while pretending to listen to their teachers, cable television that brings things into homes we would never invite.

Just as I put away the Wii Fit and picked up a canoe paddle at the lake, may we all pause now and then to evaluate our technological choices, weigh the pros and cons of each, and eliminate or moderate as necessary. By emulating the peaceful, technology-free evenings in Amish homes, may we bring peace and quiet back to our own.

The generations
. Most Amish adapt appliances for their homes, so their kitchens may have refrigerators (powered by propane), their bathrooms may have plumbing (powered by compressed air), and their living rooms can be warm and cozy on the coldest winter nights (with heaters powered by bottled gas). Why, then, do they not heat their bedrooms? Surely they don't enjoy leaving the warmth of the hearth to go upstairs and slip between ice-cold sheets at bedtime, do they?

—I
N
T
HEIR
O
WN
W
ORDS
—

If you live an honest and upright life, there is no need to “talk the talk.” Your life speaks for itself.

I asked that question of an expert on Amish life and was very surprised and impressed with his answer: “If the whole house is warm, what's to keep the children downstairs with their parents in the evenings? Everyone might want to go their own way, which can lead to the disintegration of the family.”

In non-Amish homes, I don't recommend turning off the central heat for the sake of quality time, but a lot can be said for keeping all the fun stuff, such as video games and computers, out of the kids' rooms and in the common areas instead. It's safer for the kids, and it helps preserve the family unit by ensuring more together time on a regular basis.

In this way and many others, we can learn from the Amish and apply such lessons to our twenty-first-century lives.

P
ART
F
IVE:

SUPPLEMENTAL MATERIAL

It always amazed me that though Liesl and I were about the same age, she had married at nineteen, had begun having children soon after, and hadn't stopped yet. Currently, she and Jonah had five kids ranging in age from one to nine. I couldn't imagine a more horrifying prospect, but parenthood suited her very well
.

“
And you and Jonah? The two of you are happy
?”

She looked at me strangely before answering that yes, they were fine, and why did I ask
?

“
I guess because I have enough trouble making a relationship work with just two of us. I can't fathom trying to do it with half a basketball team
.”

Liesl laughed melodically, saying it wasn't always easy with little ones underfoot, but they managed to do okay
.

She and Jonah had always had seemed to be happily married, and I wanted to ask her what their secret was. But we lived in such different worlds that I had a feeling that, even if she could articulate it, whatever it was could never translate to my relationship with Heath—or with anyone else, for that matter
.

“
Someday I hope to have a marriage like that. Like yours. Like my parents',” I said instead
.

“
Jah, I wish that for you too. But it will take the right person, especially because you are so much like me
.”

I smiled, knowing exactly what she meant. Our worlds couldn't be more different, but our personalities were very much the same
.

—Excerpted from
Secrets of Harmony Grove

by Mindy Starns Clark

BIBLICAL REFERENCES FOR AMISH BELIEFS & PRACTICES

Adult baptism