Plain Answers About the Amish Life (13 page)

What makes someone “Amish”? Are they simply born into it?

No. Despite the common use of the term “Amish child” (even in this book), there is no such thing. The more correct wording would be “child of Amish parents” or “child in an Amish community.” That's because people aren't
born
Amish; they must
become
Amish, which is a voluntary process that happens at the cusp of adulthood, usually in the late teens or early twenties. That's when those who have been raised in Amish homes decide whether they are going to accept the Amish faith and be baptized into its membership. Only if they do will they actually be considered Amish.

Is it true that Amish teenagers are encouraged to move out and go wild?

No. Among the non-Amish, a lot of misconceptions exist about the period in Amish youth known as
Rumspringa
. A Pennsylvania Dutch term that means “running around,”
Rumspringa
does not involve moving out of the home, nor does it typically include excessive partying or other wild behavior. Instead, the goal of
Rumspringa
is simply to relax the rules a bit to allow teenagers to experience a taste of the outside world, to find a mate (parents hope), and to give teens enough freedom to make an informed, independent, and mature decision about whether they want to become Amish or leave the faith community and forge a new life on their own outside of the church.

If they don't choose to join the church, are they shunned?

No. Those who have been raised in Amish homes but opt not to join the Amish faith themselves are able to maintain relationships with their Amish family and friends.

What age do they go on
Rumspringa
and what is it like?

Rumspringa
usually begins around age 16 and lasts for several years. During this time, though teens still live at home and have all of the same obligations and responsibilities as before, the rules of the
Ordnung
are relaxed. Parents and church leaders “look the other way” as teens are allowed to experiment with their newfound freedom. Teens get their own private bedroom and sometimes even slip away at night to meet up with friends or dates.

Is
Rumspringa
the same everywhere?

No. In a conservative district,
Rumspringa
might include, at most, flirting at a group singing or riding home from church with someone of the opposite sex in a courting wagon. In a more liberal district,
Rumspringa
can mean obtaining a driver's license, buying a car, using electronics, and having a cell phone, among other things

Do Amish teens ever take their freedom too far?

It happens. In worst-case scenarios, teens may get involved with sex, drugs, alcohol, smoking, or spending their weekends at rowdy
Rumspringa
parties, notorious beer bashes that include both Amish and non-Amish teenagers and young adults.

When does
Rumspringa
come to an end?

Young adults in Amish communities must eventually choose between turning their backs on the world and accepting the faith of their parents, or making somewhat of a break from their homes and family and fully embracing the outside world. All teens know that if they decide to go with the church, they are making a lifelong commitment. As a part of the baptism process, they will take vows that commit them to the community, the church leadership, and the
Ordnung
until the day they die.

Do many of them make that choice?

Yes. Eighty-five percent of teens raised in Amish homes choose to join the church.

What is “bundling”? 

In some conservative districts, teens on
Rumspringa
may be allowed to enjoy an old Amish custom known as
Uneheliche beischlaf
, the practice of “bundling” or “bed courtship.” Bundling allows an unmarried male and female to spend the night together in the same bed, ostensibly without having sex. They may each be wrapped in their own blanket, or she may wear a special preventative gown. The couple is left alone in the female's bedroom, and the parents go on to bed. The young man is allowed to spend most of the night but is expected to leave the home before morning milking time, which is usually around four or four thirty.

Is bundling a common practice? 

No. According to author Richard Stevick in his book
Growing Up Amish: The Teenage Years
, bundling was brought to America by European immigrants in the eighteenth century and was far more prevalent in the past than it is today. He estimates that fewer than 10 percent of Amish districts still allow bundling. Most Amish seem reticent to discuss the custom at all.

Why would bundling be allowed? Wouldn't it lead to premarital sex?

Premarital sex is not a permitted aspect of the bundling experience, though most critics of the practice insist it often becomes inevitable. In the event that a premarital pregnancy results, most Amish teens will quickly join the church and then get married. Some critics charge that this is the whole point—to force the couple into church membership and marriage because of an unintended pregnancy.

Proponents of bundling assert that it teaches self-discipline while allowing the couple to get to know each other in a private setting.

25

BAPTISM

Where do the Amish learn about their beliefs? Do they have Sunday school, Training Union, or something similar?

The only formal religious instruction that most Amish ever receive are the classes that prepare them for baptism. These special classes are held every other Sunday for eight or nine sessions total and are taught by the bishop and the ministers. Students who complete all sessions in a satisfactory manner are then eligible for membership in the Amish church.

What is the process for getting baptized?

When a young person decides he wants to be baptized, he presents himself for the first of eight or nine classes that will be taught over the course of several months. Baptisms occur only once a year, so many parents of teens hold their breath, waiting to see if their children are among those who choose to attend the class. If not, their children will have another year of
Rumspringa
before their next opportunity arises to do so.

How important is it to Amish parents that their children join the church?

It's very important. In fact, many Amish consider themselves successful parents only if their children join the church.

At what age are the Amish baptized?

Most candidates for baptism are in their late teens or early twenties.

What do they learn in the baptism classes?

The classes primarily focus on the Dordrecht Confession of Faith, a document written in 1632 that espouses the key beliefs of Anabaptism. Candidates learn in depth about each of the document's 18 articles and in many cases will also be taught the specifics of their own local
Ordnung
. During the months that candidates are attending these every-other-Sunday classes, they are expected to eliminate all trappings of
Rumspringa
from their lives, which means selling their cars, getting rid of their English clothes, giving up technological devices, growing out their hair, and so on. In some districts, they must quit attending secular weekend parties by the third session in order to move into full compliance with the
Ordnung
.

Are they under a lot of pressure to follow through and get baptized?

Yes and no. Certainly, family and community members may exert significant pressure and expectation. On the other hand, throughout the preparation process the attendees are asked repeatedly if they are sure that this is what they want. In fact, each session begins with the youth stating, “I am a seeker desiring to be part of this church of God.” The Amish strongly emphasize informed, voluntary adult baptism. So in a sense there is pressure in both directions.

What happens to those who decide not to go through with the classes or baptism?

Candidates who are hesitant, rebellious, or too questioning may decide they were not ready after all and drop out of the classes—perhaps just until the next year, when they will be more certain of their decision.

What if they know for certain they're done for good, that they will not be joining the Amish church now or in the future? What happens to them?

They are not shunned, but neither are they treated as adults in the Amish community. Essentially, they live in a sort of in-between world,
where their ultimate choice is either to leave for good or to stay and become baptized.

How about the ones who decide to go through with the course of classes? What happens for them?

Those who make it to the end have one final session (which includes their parents), the day before baptism Sunday, where once again they are asked if they are certain they want to proceed. At this point, the male candidates are also asked if they are willing to serve in the ministry if they are ever chosen by lot.

What happens on the day of the baptism?

Baptism is usually held on the same Sunday as the fall communion service. Candidates take vows and then kneel in front of the bishop, who confirms their vows and baptizes them one by one. Amish baptism is done by the bishop placing his cupped hands on each head as the deacon pours water into those hands from a pitcher. After all are baptized, the bishop welcomes each male in turn with a holy kiss while his wife does the same to the females.

Once baptized, members are bound to the Amish faith for the rest of their lives.

What if they later change their mind? Can they leave the church?

Those who chose to leave the church after baptism are usually excommunicated and shunned. See chapter 10, “Shunning,” for more information.

26

COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE

How do engagements work in the Amish community?

For an engagement to be made official, the groom must go to his bishop, declare his intentions, and acquire a
Zeugnis
, which is a letter of good standing from his church. If the bishop is aware of any sinful behavior or need for correction, he deals with it at that time.

Once the groom acquires the
Zeugnis
, he delivers it to the bride's minister or deacon. That church leader will visit the bride, confirm she desires to marry the groom, and discuss any sin or other concerns in her life. After this meeting, if all is satisfactory, the leader will wait until the appropriate time and then “publish” or announce the engagement to the church.

Is it true that the Amish are extremely secretive about their dating lives?

Somewhat. Courtship among the Amish is done with discretion, and engagements are not usually made public until one to six weeks before the wedding. Prior to that, a bride and groom's closest friends and family members may be told, but otherwise only the church leaders are informed and not the congregation at large.

When do the Amish get married?

In some settlements, weddings are limited to certain times of the year and even specific days of the week. Lancaster County weddings, for example, are held on Tuesdays and Thursdays in October, November, and December. Weddings in Geauga County, Ohio, are held in the summer.

Can an Amish person marry outside of the faith?

Not if they intend to remain in the Amish church, as rules require both bride and groom to have been baptized within the Amish faith.

What is an Amish wedding like?

Amish weddings can be quite large, often with 300 to 500 guests. The Amish don't use caterers, so the food preparation alone can be a tremendous undertaking. Fortunately, plenty of volunteers are always available to help out, and the communities have been through so many weddings before that everyone is familiar with the various duties required.

Weddings are usually held in the bride's parents' home, barn, or shop. The regular Sunday benches are used, though if the wedding is large, benches from other nearby communities may be needed as well. In a carefully orchestrated event, family and friends work to prepare the wedding feast and ready the home for the celebration.

How about the wedding ceremony itself?

Amish wedding ceremonies are similar in many ways to their regular Sunday worship services. As the congregation sings the opening hymns, the couple is brought into a separate room with the bishop and ministers for a time of “admonition and encouragement” called the
Abroth
. This lasts about 20 or 30 minutes, and then all rejoin the congregation for the rest of the service. As on Sundays, an opening sermon, a prayer, a Bible reading, and a main sermon are included. The bride and groom each have two attendants.

How long is the wedding ceremony?

About three hours.

What do the bride and groom wear?

In most districts, the couple wear brand-new versions of their usual Sunday attire, with one exception: The groom sports his first “real” Amish hat, one with a broader brim to indicate he is married.

Once the ceremony is over, the bride will switch from the black head covering of a single girl to the white
kapp
of a married woman.