Pieces For You (10 page)

“Did you just…
lick
me?” he asked, sounding both shocked and amused.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You licked me.  I felt it,” he accused, but I noticed he wasn’t complaining.

“Your imagination is running wild because of all the workout endorphins.”

“It wasn’t a complaint.  In fact, you’re welcome to have another taste.”

“Fine…I licked you.  But it was an involuntary reflex—hot guy, exposed chest…you know how it is.”

“Mmm,” he replied, his eyes darkening with lust.  “I am familiar with the temptation, but it’s not a hot guy who’s testing my self-control…it’s a petite, auburn-haired vixen.”

We suddenly stopped and he placed me on a floor mat in an empty aerobics studio.  I was too curious to feel apprehensive about being alone with a man who could easily overpower me.

“What are we doing in here?”

“Your muscles need to be massaged after the strain you put them through.  You pushed yourself too far on the treadmill, especially after the weight and resistance training.  Deep tissue massage will encourage blood flow to the muscles, which will break down the excess lactic acid trapped in the tissue—you’ll have horrible cramping otherwise.”

I placed my hand on his forearm to stop the physiology lesson.

“You had me at deep tissue massage.  Show me that those humongous mitts of yours are useful for more than serving drinks and playing guitar.”

He didn’t need to say what else his hands were good for, his lethal smile spoke volumes.

I turned my back to him while twisting my ponytail into a bun, providing him unfettered access to my neck and shoulders.  When his nimble hands kneaded the tense muscles at the nape of my neck, I groaned in satisfaction.  He worked my neck, shoulders, and back masterfully, the size of his hands enabling firm, consistent pressure, which felt so good it verged on painful.  He dedicated the same attention to my arms, all the way down to the tips of my fingers, paying extra attention to my palms—a newly discovered erogenous zone.

“Lay on your stomach…I need leverage for your lower back,” he commanded.

I was putty in his hands, willing to comply with any request, as long as he continued to manipulate my body.  I flopped to my side and rolled onto my stomach gracelessly—I was too relaxed to care about my ragdoll flop.

He knelt beside me and pressed his thumbs into the dimple at the base of my spine, circling before dragging his fingers up and out in an arc.  He adjusted his position several times trying to gain a better angle, clearly unsatisfied with his current technique.

“Lo, I want to try something—I am going to kneel above you with a knee on each side of your hips.  I won’t rest my body weight on you or restrain you in any way.  Do you think you can handle that?”

“I…I think so.  You can try,” I stuttered.  The visual painted by his suggestion was both erotic and terrifying. 

“You
will
tell me if you feel any panic or anxiety.  And you
will
tell me if you feel uncomfortable for
any
reason.  One word and I’ll move, understand?”

“Okay,” I consented, equally unsure if the position would rocket me into a full-blown panic attack.

I began breathing deeply, hoping the technique I’d learned at TPC would help relax and prepare me for this experiment.  I heard the rustle of his athletic shorts and felt the air shift as he settled into place.  Nothing…no contact whatsoever.  He had positioned himself so precisely that his shorts didn’t even brush against me.  If I didn’t
know
he was straddling my body, I would never have known.  I exhaled my relief, overwhelmed with joy that the position did not trigger any anxiety.  It was a small victory, but one I relished.

His hands returned to my lower back and I could immediately tell the difference.  The new angle allowed him to penetrate my muscles more deeply, effectively releasing knots and stretching my spine.  I moaned in pleasure as he coaxed a particularly resistant knot into submission.

I heard his sharp inhale as his hands froze against my ribcage.

“Are you intentionally trying to drive me insane?” he asked tightly.

“Hmm?” I asked dazedly.  “What are you talking about?  I didn’t do—”

“Sounds like you’re auditioning for a porn movie.  Not helping me here,” he said without censor.

“Oh, was I making noises?  Sorry, it just feels so good.”

“I got that,” he said with a laugh.

I looked over my shoulder to scold him for mocking me, but was too struck by the image of him hovering over my vulnerable body to speak.  A tremor ran through my body.  I wasn’t afraid—I believed Griffin would never intentionally hurt me—my response was automatic.  My body shook, recognizing a position I had never seen but was familiar with nonetheless.  I wheezed while adrenaline pumped through my body.

Griffin leapt to the side, positioning himself beside my head.  He cupped my face as he leaned down and trapped me in his gaze.

“Look at me, Lo…it’s me—Griffin.  You’re safe.  No one is going to hurt you.  It was just a memory…not real.”

“Oh god, Griff.  I’m so sorry, it’s not you.  I trust you.  I’m sorry—shit!” I rambled, a potent mixture of embarrassment, frustration, fear, and anger. 

“What do you have to be sorry for?  We both knew it was a possible trigger.  We stumbled on a landmine when you saw me looming above you.  I would be concerned if you didn’t have triggers, if you were repressing everything.  You are fighting your way out of a nightmare.  You are pushing forward, staring down your ghosts, and reclaiming the parts of you they were haunting.  I am awed by your bravery—by you.”

He leaned down and placed a kiss on my lips, so soft I wasn’t certain he had actually made contact.

“I should do your legs, but we can quit now if you want,” he offered passively, giving me the choice to either face my fear or call a time-out to lick my wounds.  There was no judgment or opinion in his words, only support.

“Do it!” I ordered, more sharply than I intended.  “Sorry—I mean, please let’s finish.  It felt really good and I don’t want to be hurting tomorrow.”

“My brave girl,” he whispered against my ear, causing me to shiver.

He scooted back and drew my left leg into his lap, working every muscle with excessively delicious care.  I sank into the floor and floated on the cloud of sensation he created.  The residual fear and adrenaline dissipated, and somewhere between my right and left leg massage I realized I had faced yet another demon and won.  When he finally finished, we returned to our respective locker rooms to gather our belongings.

I was waiting for Griff to exit the men’s locker room when a gym rat approached me from behind, nearly causing me to wet my pants when I discovered his body within inches of mine.  He leaned against the wall next to me with his arm resting above my head.  I felt caged and uneasy.

“Hey sexy, haven’t seen you here before.  Need me to show you how it’s done?  I know the manager—I can hook you up with a free month…in exchange for dinner?”

I was about to—I didn’t know what—run, scream, panic, tell him I wasn’t interested in his ‘free month’ if he was the last man on earth.  Then I heard it—a growl.  A deep, menacing
growl
was coming from behind me, about a foot and a half above my head.  I slapped my hand over my mouth to stifle my snicker.

I couldn’t see Griffin and he didn’t say a word, but whatever his body language communicated, the dumbass in front of me clearly got the message because he turned tail and left, practically running.

I spun, hoping to catch a glimpse of ‘scary Griffin,’ but his face was devoid of all emotion, his eyes tracking my visitor’s departure.

“Excuse me,” I said to capture his attention.  “Did I just hear you
growl
at that moron, or am I hallucinating now, too?”

“I didn’t growl, it was a deep exhale.”

“Oh, an audible exhale that reverberated in your chest…like a growl,” I said before dissolving into giggles.

“I love that sound—you laughing.”

“Should I start calling you ‘Tony the Tiger’ now?  Wait…how about ‘Harry the Hippo’?”

“Hippos do not growl.”

“They absolutely do!  I took a zoology class for my science requirement sophomore year, and hippopotamuses, my growly friend, most definitely growl.”

“If I growled—and I admit nothing—but if I did, it was not a damn hippopotamus growl.  It was a tiger growl…no, a bear…I want to be a bear.”

“Alright, Yogi it is.  Come on, my furry friend, you promised me dinner.”

“Despite your torment, I do keep my promises.  Let’s go.”

“Do you have the picnic baskets in the car?” I teased, enjoying watching him squirm.

“No picnic baskets, I’m afraid.”

“Oh, is Boo-Boo bringing them?”

He shook his head and grabbed my hand, leading me to his truck, where he opened my door and hoisted me in.  We drove to Five Guy’s Burgers for a quick bite, and I spent most of the time finding various ways to work ‘growl’ into the conversation.  His cheeks tinged pink every time, which only encouraged me to continue.  By the time he dropped me off at my car, I was glowing.  I hadn’t felt this many ‘good’ emotions since before the attack. 

He helped me down from the truck and walked with me, pulling me in for a hug when we reached my car.  I laced my arms around his neck and pulled him until his lips were firmly against mine.  His hand rested on the small of my back, pressing me into him with the slightest pressure.  He nibbled on my lower lip, nipping then soothing artfully.  His mouth drifted across mine to kiss the corners of my lips, as if he needed to lavish attention on even the smallest corner.  I licked the seam of his firm lips with the tip of my tongue, instigating him to explore me more fully.  I felt his groan more than heard it.  In a moment of reckless abandon, I pressed my body against his more fully, but was unable to obtain the pressure I sought because of our extreme height difference.  Frustrated, I locked my fingers behind his neck and pulled while I jumped, intending to climb him.  He instinctively caught me, but only permitted momentary contact before he lowered me back to the ground, slowing our kiss.  With a final press of his lips, he broke free and cupped my face.

“As much as I love being the telephone pole to your service technician, I think we better call it a night before this goes any further.”

“Spoil sport,” I said, disappointment coloring my tone.

“I want you too much to rush this and ruin my chance.  You’re worth waiting for.”

He kissed my lips gently, pulling back before I could tempt him further.  Dammit.

He helped me into my car and shut the door, waiting until I pulled away before walking back to his pick-up.

Griffin was funny, insightful, instinctive, smart, kind, badass, and sexy as all hell.  I wished I was whole and could offer him everything he deserved, which was so much more than the jagged pieces I had to offer.

“For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice."  -John Burroughs

I watched her tail lights melt into the night as I dragged the cool evening air into my lungs, futilely attempting to ease the discomfort in my chest…and pants.  This waiting—giving Sam the time she needed to fully trust me and to heal–may kill me, but I would suffer anything to have her. 

Pulling the breaks when her body and lips were begging me to continue was a Herculean feat, one I deserved a goddamn medal for.  Hot and sweet, she was the embodiment of temptation.  She drugged me with her taste until I was senseless, an animal instinctively claiming its mate.  Her little arms clung to me with a desperation that called to my heart…and one of my less honorable organs.  I had to stop; her mind was not ready to process what her body was begging for.  I knew I made the right decision when I saw both disappointment and relief in her eyes.  She
wanted
me, but lingering fear of physical intimacy was still there.  Until I proved she could trust me, that fear would remain a shadow in her eyes.  If it took every day of the rest of my life, I would earn her trust—and then her love.  There was no doubt in my mind that Sam was
it
for me.  My certainty was soul deep.  She was mine…made for me.  I didn’t care what the requirements were, how much patience was needed, nothing would deter me from her.