Pieces For You (11 page)

I had wanted her for so long and waited for what felt like a lifetime.  I first noticed her more than a year ago when she came to The Stop to celebrate her twenty-first birthday.  It was a Saturday night and the bar was packed, but I heard her laugh above the music, drink orders, and drunken conversations.  Sam’s laugh captured my attention and when I finally saw her, I was done.  She was gorgeous, one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen—and so tiny, it called to my primitive instincts to protect her.  Even from twenty feet away she radiated a joy and confidence that couldn’t be overlooked.  I walked away from a customer mid-sentence and shouldered another bartender out of the way to get her drink order just to talk to her.  When she leaned across the bar to tell me what she wanted, I almost snatched her up and carried her out of the bar.  Her eyes were a vibrant green that shined with mischief in the dim bar lighting.  A curtain of wavy red-brown hair spilled down one shoulder and all I could think was how that hair would look spread out across my pillows—so damn sexy.  I set her drink in front of her and waved off her credit card, telling her it was on the house as my birthday present to her.  She placed a quick peck on my cheek and said, “Hot
and
generous.  Where’ve you been all my life?”

She spent the rest of the night living it up, dancing with her friends, and celebrating.  I couldn’t take my eyes off of her; I was so mesmerized I screwed up more drink orders than the greenest bartender.  Unfortunately, her friends fetched her birthday drinks for the rest of the night and she left before I had a chance to talk to her again, which was for the best.  I was in a relationship at the time and couldn’t have made a move even if given a chance.  My girlfriend at the time, Kimmie, began commenting on how distant I seemed within a few weeks of my meeting Sam.  I hadn’t seen Sam again, and nothing actually happened beyond me doing my job, but I couldn’t shake the memory of her.  Kimmie was dull and lifeless compared to the vibrancy of Sam.  Our relationship puttered out as I lost interest.  We ended amicably enough with my excuses of needing to focus on finishing my Master’s and settle into the new position of managing The Stop.

I suspected Sam was a student at Hensley and found myself looking for her every time I was on campus.  When I randomly saw her, I would nod or smile, but I never approached.  I wasn’t afraid; I knew women sought out my attention, but I wanted to stand out to her the way she did for me.  With the attacks on campus plaguing every woman’s mind, I didn’t want to approach as a virtual stranger and spook her.

Every time she came to The Stop after her birthday we would exchange brief pleasantries, but she was always surrounded by friends and I was working, limiting our interactions.  I realized how strongly I wanted this girl, but wasn’t sure the timing was right to start a new relationship.  I was overwhelmed with the responsibility of managing a business on my own after my parents dropped it in my lap, announcing their sudden retirement and relocation to warmer climates.  I loved my parents, but they were of the mindset that their parental obligations were complete after you became an adult at the all-knowing age of eighteen.  Part of me was surprised they “let” me finish undergrad and most of my Master’s before hanging up their aprons and flying south.  They viewed my education as an exercise in discipline and possibly a hobby, but in their minds, my future always lay in The Stop. 

With all that was on my plate, I decided to focus on my final year of classes.  Once finished, my reward for a job well-done would be my pursuit of Sam.  With the pressures of school behind me and The Stop running smoothly, I could dedicate complete attention to the intriguing siren and invest all the time necessary in the early stages of a relationship.  My decision to wait to pursue Sam would always remain one of my biggest regrets in life—a mistake that I may never forgive myself for.

Six months after our first encounter, I watched as Sam began dating and subsequently fell in love with Robbie.  He was weak and pliable—completely wrong for her.  She might have been happy then, but I knew in the long term her life with that pushover would be filled with disappointment.  My hands were tied, so I sat back and watched as the girl I wanted drifted further and further away.  And as further proof of life’s irony, once Sam was no longer available, she began to appear everywhere I looked.  She even started to engage me in short conversations on slow nights at the bar, letting me see exactly what I was missing.  Each piece of her I discovered only intensified the invisible cord binding me to her.  Yet Sam was clueless, with not even the slightest inkling of how much I wanted her.  I couldn’t find it in me to take away the temporary happiness she was enjoying.  Instead, I continued to bide my time and wait for the inevitable break with Mr. Right-For-Now.

Unexpectedly, Everleigh and I developed a friendship while I was lying in wait for her best friend.  She discerned my feelings for Sam right away and repeatedly warned me not to set my hopes on her.  Ev was convinced that Robbie and Sam were destined to walk down the aisle, but I knew it was only a matter of time before he screwed it up.  So again, I sat back and practiced patience.

When Ev and Sam suddenly disappeared, I was concerned.  They were regulars, rarely deviating from their scheduled visits to The Stop.  Everleigh surfaced without Sam after six weeks—yes, I counted the weeks—and I was confronted with my worst nightmare.  Sam, the girl I was already half-in-love with, had been brutalized, hospitalized, and was now recovering 3,000 miles away.  All of this occurred without my knowledge.  I hadn’t been given the opportunity to support her, to tell her she would survive this, and to assure her that I would do everything in my power to help her.  I was absent when she needed me most.  My anger was a living breathing creature possessing me.  I spent hours dreaming of the ways I could kill the bastard that hurt her.  I fantasized about finding Robbie and wrecking him for allowing it to happen and then abandoning her, only to come back and break her heart with his cowardice. 

I never told Ev how livid I was at her—furious she didn’t contact me when she knew I would have been by Sam’s side every minute.  At the same time, I knew it wasn’t my place and that Ev was struggling to balance her own grief with Sam’s care, but it remained a difficult pill for me to swallow.  When the initial shock wore off, I saw reason and forgave her for not reaching out to me during the crisis.  My wants were not what was important, Sam was…and I vowed to do anything necessary to help facilitate her recovery.  Sam was at TPC for two months, and during that time, I focused my energy to find justice for her.  I promised myself and Sam, though she didn’t know it, that I would never fail her again, and that her needs would always come before my own.

My promise was tested the minute I found out Sam was coming home from TPC.  Ev and I both agreed she needed time to acclimate to being back, outside of the safe haven of her therapeutic environment.  I never imagined the wait would wind up being another two months.  They were the longest months of my life.

I shook my head, remembering how I lost my damn mind knowing Sam was home, yet having to keep my distance from her.  I was also deprived of my closest friends, Everleigh and Hunter, who had dedicated most of their time to being by Sam’s side.  I didn’t want to take their time if it meant taking them away from Sam, so I poured myself into work and increased my already excessive number of hours at the gym.  The gym had become my go-to location after Sam’s attack.  I was in agony trying to stay away from her throughout the two long months after she returned.  I could have given the biggest guy I could find at the gym a set of brass knuckles and let him go to town and it would’ve been less painful than waiting. 

Finally being able to see Sam, even if only as a friend, was an answer to my prayers.  Her fire and spirit still burned brightly, despite her pain.  I was awed by her strength, resilience, and determination to survive.

I have had no interest in any other woman—zero—not for the past year.  My Calvin Kleins hadn’t so much as twitched at the sight of another woman.  I didn’t want anyone else, so Thor’s unwillingness to swing his mighty hammer for any other woman wasn’t a problem.  I knew when I finally had access to Sam, there would be a long road ahead of us as she healed.  It would take time to build a relationship, but I was in no hurry—I was in for the long haul.  I didn’t mind waiting if I could at least see her and be nearby to support her.  Sex was the least of my concerns—well, that wasn’t entirely true.  I wanted Sam in my arms and in my bed, nothing had changed in that regard, but the physical connection was a long way off.  I was willing to give Sam all the time and patience she needed before attempting sexual intimacy.  I knew it was a vital part of her healing and needed to be handled carefully.  The choice would have to be hers, without any pressure.  Sam needed to reclaim her power and when she was ready, I would be there to show her how loved and desired she was. 

"The abandoned infant's cry is rage, not fear."  -Robert Anton Wilson

“Where the hell have you been?” Hunter asked, his deep voice snapping me out of my food coma.

“Don’t you bark at me, Hunter Charles—Ev may let you get away with it because afterwards you throw her over your shoulder and take her to the bedroom, where the two of you make sounds usually reserved for zoos.  Since I will not be screeching like a chimpanzee, you don’t get that privilege.  And FYI, I was at the gym, which Ev knew.”

“You left Higher Yearning to go to the gym four hours ago—you scared us to death,” Ev scolded, as if I was an errant child. 

Hunter wrapped his arms around her from behind.  They were a united front, ready to go into battle—God help their future children.

“I’m sorry,
Mom
,
I guess my phone was on silent.  You do realize I am a grown woman; I didn’t know I needed to text my every move and ask your damn permission.  I was at the freaking gym.”

“Your car never left Higher Yearning, and you left the gym over an hour ago.  We were worried, and you weren’t answering your phone,” Hunter complained.

“How do you know when I left the gym?” I asked incredulously.

“I traced your cell,” Hunter said as if it was a completely normal answer.

“And I called the gym,” Ev added.

“That’s not stalkerish—not at all,” I answered snidely.  “I appreciate your concern and I understand it, but you have to relax a little bit.  You’re going to make me even more paranoid than I already am if you keep freaking out.  I can’t live my life waiting for the next tragedy to strike, and neither can you two.”

“She may have a point,” Ev said to Hunter, as if I was no longer a part of the conversation.

He grunted in reply, not convinced, but not pushing the issue either.

“Where did you go after the gym?” Hunter asked.

I sighed.  They were still missing the point.  Oh well, at least they cared.

“I went to the gym with Griff and we got Five Guys after.  Mystery solved, no sinister danger lurking.”

“Ooooh, that’s nice.  Isn’t that nice, babe?” Ev asked Hunter, trying to hide her excitement but failing miserably.

“He didn’t answer his phone either…asshat.  He and I are going to have a conversation about answering 911-texts,” Hunter grumbled.

“You sent a 911 text?  Are you nuts?” I shrieked, shocked by the extremity of his actions.

Hunter shrugged guiltlessly, undeterred by my reaction.

“You’re home safe, time to move on,” Ev said dismissively, her previous concern forgotten in light of a juicier story.  “Tell me about your date.  Now.”

“It wasn’t a date, we were just hanging out.  He was showing me how to use the equipment at the gym and we grabbed some post-workout protein, nothing too crazy.”

“Sure…and Hunter just wanted coffee all those times he came into Higher Yearning,” she said while tossing a sassy smirk at her man.

“What?  You make a delicious cup of coffee,” Hunter objected unconvincingly.

“You’re so full of it.  I had you completely enchanted and you couldn’t stay away.  Admit it, you didn’t even know there were different types of coffee beans.  Just goes to show how lost you were before me.”

“The best thing about being with you—I no longer have to drink coffee.  I get a caffeine fix every time I kiss you.”

“Keep it up and you’ll be back on the mug!” Ev threatened.

I burst out laughing at the absurdity of her threat.

“I would pay to see that!  You can’t keep your paws off each other for fifteen minutes.  The
only
thing you crave above coffee is Hunter’s co—”

“That is not true.  I have excellent self-control, don’t I, babe?” she asked Hunter.

“I have to agree with Sam on this one, angel.  You are firmly in the easily persuaded category.  But don’t feel bad, I put myself in the same category—it’s a good place to be and the company is spectacular.”

“Just because you are a caveman and can’t control your impulse to throw me on my back at every turn doesn’t mean I am too.  I’m just…accommodating.”