Phoenix (23 page)

“What we had was real, Caroline. A few wingnut opinions never mattered, especially to you.”

She could get him. He wouldn’t leave without a fight but she could whip that emotional stone out again. “No, it wasn’t real. It was sex. Lots of sex. And throwing money around. That was all.” She glared at him. “I know why you really married me, you know. You wanted to be governor. I had almost everything you needed in a political spouse. If I’d been a Republican I would have been perfect. But you could make do with the whole ‘look at these two mildly political opposites and their adorable connection’ angle. You never loved me and you never wanted any part of an equal partnership. You wanted power, and the lady with the high approval ratings and nice ass could help you get there.”

Jack stepped away from her. “You don’t believe that.”

“How do you know? A few weeks at a federal holding facility can alter your mind.”

“You remember all the important things. You’d never forget them.”

“I remember how easy it was to talk you into running for governor. You wanted it all along. It was quite handy when I got shot. I turned into a public figure who enchanted the country despite all my efforts to the contrary. It was easy for you to ride those coattails. “

“Caroline, that is not how it was,” Jack said. “Stop doing this.”

She ignored the urgency in his voice. She could slaughter him as easily as she could bring him back to life. “The voters found the two of us captivating. It was one of the main reasons you got elected. And now you’ve got to get me stable enough so you can continue the act, so you can motivate your troops to fight this battle that we both know is doomed. You were able to come here and play the martyr card, letting them know that despite your best efforts your dear wife was a sacrificial lamb for the cause. How many of them know the truth about what happened that night in the woods?”

He blanched. “I-”

Caroline wasn’t ready to hear the answer to that question. “Now you have to deal with the aftermath of that escapade – the fact that I’m crazy as fuck. And you’ve got to get me back to a marginally functioning person again, one who treats you as the benevolent leader you think you are. Otherwise you won’t be able to maintain your authority. Well, I’m not going to help you,” she said. “So give it up.”

Jack looked down at his feet. “You loved me,” he said quietly. “I know you did. You’re being vindictive and spiteful and I don’t believe a word of it.”

It was easy to let the words flow without thinking about what they really meant. “I loved all the free shit. And spending your money. That was nice. That was the best part of our marriage.”

“No,” he said. “You can’t fake the way you responded to me.”

Was it always about the bedroom with him? He was fairly competent at delivering orgasms but she wasn’t going to stroke his ego for it. “Oh, you were good in the sack,” Caroline said. “I’d never deny that.”

“What we had was more than sex,” he said. “I don’t know why you keep beating that horse. Is it because you’re ashamed of how great we were together? Do you think you don’t deserve that kind of love?”

“It was lust. You were wrong about me. I wasn’t a sweetheart at all. I coveted the finer things in life and you were the way I could get them. So I ran with the opportunity.”

“You were always a terrible liar. You can’t make yourself appear even the slightest bit convincing.” But Jack sounded a little unsure of himself.

“Did I stutter?”

“Who are you?” he demanded. “What happened to the real Caroline?”

She never existed.
“You know damn well what happened to me. Use your imagination as to what might take place during weeks of highly unconstitutional interrogation in a federal prison. You’ve seen the scars on my wrists. You’ve seen where my nose used to be, where my fingers are crooked when they used to be straight. You’re a smart man. You can figure it out on your own. Fucker,” she muttered.

“I don’t want to speculate.” Jack started pacing across the room. “I can’t – you’re punishing me by keeping this from me. You want me to hurt as much as you do.”

“You’re goddamn right I do.”

“You have no idea how much I already hurt.”

“I don’t care.”

“I want you to tell me!”

Caroline narrowed her eyes. “No.”

“I want to help you.” His voice was sad. “Please let me help you.”

She gritted her teeth, desperate for the conversation to end. “I don’t need your help.”

Jack clenched his fists. “Why won’t you let me in?”

“You don’t deserve any answers from me.”

“You’re afraid that if you tell me what happened, I’ll reject you. You’re scared stiff that there’s a chance that the next time you yell at me, I really will leave and you’ll be all alone. Is that what you want?”

Damn it, she’d said and done so much. More than she’d ever done before. Gouged and scrabbled at him so many times. Why was he still in her apartment? “I don’t want you, that’s for damn sure.”

“I saw the way you reacted the other day when I was speaking to Lieutenant Underwood. In your haste to escape you did quite a bit of damage. Nice of you to leave the hallway littered with office supplies.” Jack unclenched his fists and his tone changed. “You were always so possessive, Caroline. So jealous. It’s part of the reason you’re so delectable. And you still want me. You want me back so badly you can hardly contain yourself.”

Underwood. That was her name. And shit, she’d been seen. Caroline rarely ventured out of her apartment save for therapy, the gym, and the occasional trip to the cafeteria. But she’d wandered the halls earlier in the week for no particular reason. She was headed to a late lunch and came across a female officer speaking with Jack. Very blond, very buxom, and very touchy-feely. Something he said caused her to laugh uproariously and pinch his arm, which Caroline found implausible because Jack wasn’t all that funny.

It was a big hallway and she was being quiet, but Caroline stumbled over a few boxes as an unfamiliar feeling overtook her. Envy. Pure and simple. But hell if she was going to admit it to him.

“Believe what you want,” she said. “I don’t need you. I’m not attracted to you in the least.”

“You are, sweetheart. I can feel it from over here.” Jack had a disturbingly indecent smile on his face that Caroline had never seen before. “The energy is pouring out of you. You’re attracted to me even when you’re angry.”

He strode toward her and Caroline backed away unsteadily. She remembered the way she felt when she’d seen him talking to Underwood, and her face flushed. But it was more than her face. It was her entire body. She had to get away from him before he noticed.

“You’re going to stay on this base,” he said. “Understand? And you’re going to have to keep dealing with me.” Caroline almost tripped over the end table and he grinned. “Having trouble keeping your balance? You can’t fight this anymore. You might be able to hide your feelings from everyone else, but not me.”

Slowly. So slowly. His eyes trailing from her eyes to her feet. That smile growing ever more rapacious. He inched toward her and she could do nothing but try to avoid him. But that was impossible. He backed her against the wall. Caroline could feel his sweet breath at her lips. His soft, gentle lips. His touch could be rough but his kisses had always been tender. What would happen if he kissed her just once? Surely she could tolerate that. More than tolerate it. Enjoy it. Relish it. Beg for more.

Fuck, she had bit off more than she could chew. She closed her eyes, waiting for him to make that final move.

Jack laughed. “You want me to kiss you. I know. But I’m not going to give you that. Not yet.”

Caroline pressed her palms against the wall, afraid to open her eyes, afraid to move away from him. Something in his voice cemented her to the floor. Jack traced a trail from her temple to her jaw with his finger, and she shuddered.

“The guards have been put on notice that you are not to leave this base with anyone other than me.” He brushed his lips across her cheek. “You and I both know that you’re not going anywhere, unless you want to try to hop our electrified fence. And you’re far, far too intelligent to do that.” Jack nipped lightly at her ear and she let out a small gasp.

Kiss me. Please.

“You will cooperate with Dr. Haddad until you are cleared to return to duty,” he said. “Be there at two o’clock tomorrow. You are, however, not required to be nice to me, although I know what you really want.” He lightly fingered her earlobe and Caroline clutched at his shirt, pulling him closer to her, praying he would touch her.

Just once. I’ll behave. I’ll be good for you.

Jack cupped her face in his hands. “You can’t fool me, Caroline. You never could. You can say all the rotten things you want but I’m never going to believe a word. Do you understand?” She stayed silent and he stroked the nape of her neck. “Do you understand?” he repeated.

Could he hear her heart jumping out of her chest? Those unsteady breaths? He had to. He knew what he was doing. “Yes,” she whispered.

“Yes, what?”

She told herself that it was a little screwed up for him to blur the lines between commanding officer and spouse, even though he’d come close to doing it before. It reminded her of painfully passionate memories she wanted to strip from her psyche. And she should have known that he’d want to get inside her head before he got inside her body. She bit her lip, the response slipping out before she could help it.

“Yes,
sir
,” she said.

Jack kissed her forehead. “You’re still the only woman I see. The only woman I need.” His mouth was at her ear again, his voice low and gentle. “I know you’re in there somewhere, sweet Caroline. We’re going to find you and we’re going to help you, until you come home to me where you belong. Then we’re going to finish what we started.
Together
. I’m not giving up.”

He kissed her cheek, letting his lips linger there for a moment. “I love you,” he murmured. “Nothing will ever change that. You tuck that away and hold onto it whenever you need a reason to keep going.” He pressed his fingers against the back of her hands and she let go of his shirt. He let them linger there for a moment, caressing her wrists before stepping away from her and clearing his throat. Caroline opened her eyes, wondering what the hell had just happened.

“Have a good afternoon, Major.” Jack smiled rakishly at her before turning and strolling out the apartment door.

Caroline sat at the desk in the master bedroom reading a position paper. Not that she needed to; most of her time was dedicated to philanthropic public appearances and goodwill efforts across the state. She enjoyed it, much more than she thought she would have. Her college self would be so disappointed. All that talk of liberation and ambition and what she thought was the correct definition of success and now she found herself reading Dr. Seuss books to children and handing out teddy bears at charity events. But she was the same person she’d always been. She was serving people in a different way.

There were times when Caroline wondered if Jack had known what he was getting himself into. She gave him his space, offering advice when he asked for it, content to do her own thing. She and Kathleen would spend hours in her office talking about inane topics, laughing at nothing. Caroline had hired a personal secretary but the woman was still getting used to their sense of humor. As Christine often told her, sometimes she and Katie were a little off.

Caroline missed Chrissy, Jen, and Ellen. She popped down to Washington every few weeks but it wasn’t the same as seeing them every day. But she knew she’d made the right decision. She didn’t miss her job. She missed the people. She missed the conversations. She didn’t miss the bullshit. In Harrisburg she could be sincere and honest and not worry about being questioned, since it wasn’t necessary to analyze the First Lady’s motivations. She’d veer into the political, but only rarely.

She and Jack had argued for days about state funding for civil legal aid and improved resources for prosecutors and public defenders. He’d been reluctant to increase the Commonwealth’s budget for those items but after she provided him with solid data to back up her arguments, he relented. He even made a large, clandestine personal donation to the Legal Aid Society. The legal community was pleased, although some bloggers griped that the governor’s wife might have too much influence on the budget process. They’d elected him as chief executive, not her. The criticism stung but Caroline rose above it. Legal services for impoverished and disadvantaged people had always been one of her pet projects in Congress, along with federal funding for law enforcement. She wasn’t about to drop the torch because she no longer controlled the purse strings. Caroline continued to flip through the pages of the paper, smiling as she heard the door open.

“Hey, baby.” Jack glanced at his watch. “You’re up late. What are you reading?”

She held up the paper.

“Transportation and infrastructure,” he observed. “You’re reading that voluntarily?”

“‘Dam safety and the reinforcement of crumbling roads and bridges over our waterways are key to the Commonwealth’s competitiveness,’” Caroline said. “‘The sufficiency of our transportation infrastructure is critical to Pennsylvania’s goals of attracting new businesses, revitalizing local industries, and providing for continued community development.’”

“Did you memorize that or are you paraphrasing?”

She stood up to greet him properly. “How do you know I didn’t write it?”

“You’re not that boring.” He kissed her. “Did you have a good day?”

“I did. This is an excellent piece. Are you thinking of following its guidance?”

“I might. Money doesn’t grow on trees, despite what you liberals think.”

Caroline ignored that comment, mostly because he meant it in jest. “Better to spend money on bridges than to watch them collapse. They don’t last forever.”

“We have to prioritize, sweetheart. We can’t do everything we want right away.”

“Jack, you have to think long term. That’s the problem with government. There are certain things that absolutely have to be handled by the public sector. No one cares about roads and bridges until they’re in a shambles, until one cracks or bends and becomes structurally unsound. It’s not the most glamorous issue but it’s one that government has an obligation to address.”

“Maybe you’d like to run the show for a while?”

She grinned. She recognized that tone. Jack only slipped into it after he caught her accidentally giving a stump speech. “Just give me one day, Governor. One. Day.”

“Having my ear every night isn’t enough?”

“All those sweet policy nothings I whisper when we’re in the sack don’t count.”

“They do with me.” Jack chuckled. “I think about them when my day gets boring.” He raised his voice an octave. “‘Oh, Mr. Governor, tell me more about the proposed new routes for SEPTA.’”

“You know how subway systems turn me on.”

He kissed her again. “Seriously. How was your day?”

“It was okay. I spoke with some very nice women who want me to appear at a fundraiser for the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence.”

“That sounds uplifting.”

“More than you’d think. Brings me back to my prosecutorial roots. I like those sorts of events.”

“Did you tell them how much you like it when your husband spanks you?”

Caroline backhanded his arm. “No.”

“I think you just assaulted me.”

“I was provoked,” she said, kissing his neck.

He ran his hand across her hair. “I’ll let it slide this one time.”

“Good.” Caroline loosened his tie. “How was your day?”

“Eh, it was all right. Not nearly as exciting as yours.”

“How’s that new intern working out? Kelsey, is it?”

Jack smiled. “She’s still bothering you.”

“I feel like she and I need to have a talk on appropriate professional attire.”

“I thought that miniskirt was hot. I was tempted to ask her where she got it so I could get you one.”

Caroline tugged on his tie. “Didn’t leave much to the imagination. Don’t they cover things like that in college anymore? ‘Don’t dress like a skank for your first real job. Don’t leave the first three buttons of your blouse undone. Don’t fawn over your boss when his wife is in the damn room.’ Perhaps things have changed since I was in school.”

“Are you jealous?”

“No,” she said, perhaps a little too defensively. “I most certainly am not.” She started to unbutton his shirt.

Jack laughed. “You’re jealous.”

Caroline took off his cufflinks and placed them on the desk. “She could try a little harder not to throw herself at you. I can hear her giggling down the hall in the afternoons whenever you do your daily meetings with the four of them.”

“You’re incredibly jealous.”

“I’m not,” she repeated. “I’m merely considering imparting to her some valuable advice.”

“Caroline-”

“It frustrates me that young women throw themselves at you. I can’t help it. Especially after that crap during the campaign with those salad girls coming out of the woodwork. The interns making goo goo eyes at you when they thought I wasn’t looking. The way people responded to you – I knew that if it went on much longer, little old ladies were going to start throwing their panties at you at rallies.”

Jack sat down at the desk, pulling her onto his lap. “It wasn’t that bad. Most people at events were going nuts over
you
, not me.”

“I know what I saw. I felt like I was at a damn Tom Jones concert half the time. My God, I thought it would never end.”

He leaned in for another kiss. “Caroline, that was your imagination. We’ve been over this. Those women were my past. You’re my future.” He swatted her ass playfully. “And you’re the only woman whose panties I want thrown in my face.”

“I can’t pretend it doesn’t bother me, Jack. Especially the hypocrisy from so-called conservative women who have no respect for that ring on your finger.”

“You’re going to say that after everything that’s happened between us? You have nothing to worry about, baby.”

“I know. I – okay, I might be a little jealous,” Caroline admitted.

Jack kissed her forehead. “That’s adorable.”

She grabbed the lapels of his shirt and pulled him toward her. “It’s not adorable,” she hissed. “Kelsey better know not to fuck with the big girls.”

He swatted her ass again. “You’re sexy when you feel threatened.”

Caroline slid off his lap and pulled him to his feet. “No, just incredibly possessive of my husband. You are mine. No one else’s. Mine.”

He drew her to him. “What would you do if she tried anything?”

She kissed him. Hard. Such gestures never hurt. “They’d never find her body. I know people.” She unbuttoned his dress shirt and kissed his neck.

Jack groaned. “Have I ever told you how attractive you are when you turn into a green-eyed monster?”

Caroline pulled his dress shirt off, tugging his undershirt over his head. “Those women have no idea what you need to be happy. They’re clueless. Completely clueless.” She pushed him down on the chair by the desk. “I’m the only one who gives you everything you want.”

She straddled his lap, tracing a trail down his neck with her tongue. Jack loosened her bun, stroking her hair as she teased him. He tugged at her blouse and she slapped his hand away. “No,” she said. “I’m not done here.” She eyed the bulge between his thighs and leaned in closer, licking her lips. “Something get you excited, Jack?”

“God, Caroline,” he muttered.

“Tell me what you want.”

He pressed his mouth to hers. “Come here,” he said against her lips. He wrapped his arms around her waist, squeezing her to him. “Fucking closer.”

She kissed him until they were both out of breath. “I know you want more than that,” she said, rocking back and forth against his groin.

Jack leaned his head against the wall. “You’re not acting very ladylike, Mrs. McIntyre.”

She kissed his neck again. “Do you want me to stop?”

He groaned. “Fuck no.”

“Tell me what you want, Monty.”

“Do you know what turns me on?” He fondled her breasts through her blouse. “You with my cock in your mouth.”

Ooh, was he in a naughty mood? She could be naughty. “You like when I do that?”

“Just thinking about you kneeling in front of me, sucking and licking me, taking me in as far as you can. I love it when you do that to me. Especially when you’re looking put together and professional.” He groaned again as she pressed down on his erection. “Jesus, Caroline. Don’t make me wait.” He began to unbutton her blouse and she didn’t stop him. As he brought his lips to the rounded top of her breasts, Caroline sighed.

“Those girls can throw themselves at me all they want,” he whispered. “You’re the only woman I see.”

She ran her fingers through his hair. “They can’t compete with me. If they try, I’ll destroy them. They don’t know what you need. I do.”

“You always know.”

Jack kissed her again before looking down at his zipper. Very subtle. She knew how to take a hint. Caroline knelt on the floor, unzipped his pants, and pulled his cock out of his boxers. He placed his hands on the back of her head and she bit her lip.

“I love doing this to you,” she said, sliding her hand up and down his length. She kissed the head of his cock lightly. “Mine.”

He shifted in the chair. “Yours.”

She took him into her mouth, relishing the taste of him, feeling him pulse against her tongue as she teased him. He tangled his fingers into her hair, straightening the strands. “That’s good, baby,” he groaned. “So fucking good.”

Caroline smiled, her teeth coming down on his cock, and he groaned again. He roughly tugged at her hair, until her bun was completely loose and her auburn locks fell down onto her shoulders.

“Caroline, I want to fuck you so hard,” he said gruffly.

That was usually a sign that he wanted her to stop, but she was enjoying what she was doing too much. Especially with him making those guttural sounds. She kept going.

His hips jerked involuntarily. “Stand up.”

She continued to take him deep as he implored her to rise.

“Please, baby. I want to be inside you.”

Caroline sat back, wiping her lips. “You didn’t like that?”

“You could do that to me all day but I’d much rather you be wriggling on my lap. Don’t you want that? Stand up,” he repeated. “Take off your panties.”

She had no problem obeying that kind of order. She yanked off her satin underwear, tossing it on the floor. Caroline took a step closer to him. “What was that other part?”

“Wriggling on my lap.” He closed his eyes as she pulled her skirt to her waist, sitting on his thighs. She wrapped her fingers around his erection and began stroking him up and down.

Jack slid a finger inside her, smiling at her reaction. “I wanted to be inside you but maybe we can take care of this first.” He kissed her deeply, using his thumb to massage her clit. Caroline moaned against his lips and threw her arms around him.

“So quickly,” he said. “Transportation really does turn you on.”

She started laughing. “Stop it, Jack. Now you’re being a jerk.”

He kissed her again. “No more jokes. I promise.”

Caroline buried her nose in his neck, inhaling deeply, savoring the smell of his skin. Sometimes the gentlest of touches combined with the scent of his cologne and the sound of his voice was all she needed to get off. Jack pulled his finger out and she protested.