Personal Experiences (41 page)

"Nice shot!"

I opened my eyes and screeched in shock.

TJ was standing right in front of me, totally naked in the shower.

"Goddammit, you scared the shit outta me."

He laughed and kissed me long, hard and wonderfully wet.

"Mmmmm, you taste like peppermint."

"Well duh…" I said sarcastically, as I squeezed the shampoo in my hand.

"I had to repay you for the wonderful morning kiss you gave me just a minute ago."

"You shit! You were awake?"

Laughing he shook his head. "You were having a moment, I wasn't going to spoil it."

I smiled and just stared at him, "Here, wash my back while I wash my hair, we're gonna be late."

I finished showering, leaving him to wash his hair. He ended up washing my whole entire body and then I did his. We made out hot and heavy for a bit until I stopped it because fucking work was why we were here. I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. Then went to work on an outfit. Because I was going to be sitting in an office all day today and just doing data entry, I decided to wear a pants outfit. I picked my black suit. It was black tailored pants with a matching jacket and I had a black and white zebra striped shirt that went underneath. The collar was wide and laid flat at the ends but up by my neck had a high bend. I left my hair down but put in a nice pair of silver hoops along with several silver dangle bracelets. My black stilettos were thick platforms with a thin heel. With this shoe on I probably reach TJ's shoulders. My makeup was flawless. I felt hot for a 36 year old mother of 3.

I walked out of my room quickly, I smelled coffee and I wanted to at least get a couple quick sips in before we left. I heard TJ in the kitchen on the phone yelling something about he didn't care if she was sick, she needed to come in and get this done, we are on a time crunch; blah, blah blah. I packed up most of our stuff last night after our little interlude, so all I really had to do was organize the box of memory sticks that were already done from the ones that weren't done and grab my shit.

I walked in the kitchen to grab my cup of coffee and stepped up behind TJ while he was talking and leaned against the cabinets. He was still on the phone blabbing about something, standing there in his pants and a dress shirt. He began backing up, his back hit my front; he stopped. He rested his phone up against his shoulder as I saw his arms reach behind him. He grabbed my arms and put them around his waist, I heard him unzip his pants and I felt him direct my hand in between. He continued his conversation as he opened his boxers and inserted my hand.

I gripped my hand around him as he slowly moved my hand up and down his shaft. His voice never faltered. I leaned my head up against the back of his designer suit shirt while he jacked himself off using my hand. It was kinda sexy when I thought about it. He wrapped up his phone call but continued thrusting into my hand, I could feel my hand was wet from him. I was so turned on, I had to close my eyes and wish to the fucking "get your ass off the phone" fairy godmother that the call would go dead. Finally I heard the words, two words that made my heart beat fast. "Good bye."

He threw his phone down and immediately turned around and slammed his mouth down on mine. We were both fighting for control over this kiss, finally I said fuck it, and gave in but I went in another direction…south. I unbuttoned his pants while he unbuttoned mine, I flung my shoes, then kicked my pants off as he walked me backwards to the living room. He broke the kiss just for a moment to tell me to lean over the couch. I hesitated. I didn't like to be backwards, Bear always made me turn backwards. He said he didn't want to look at my ugly face. I stood up and told TJ straight up "No, I'm not a dog, you're not going to fuck me like one." He jumped back like I had caught him off guard, I probably did. "Baby, I wasn't even thinking that, why would you even say that?" The mood was ruined, I began pulling up my panties and searching for my pants. As I was looking for everything I explained to him why. "Bear says the only way he can fuck me is from behind, so he doesn't have to look at my ugly fucking face." I didn't see what happened but I heard it. TJ picked up a vase, it wasn't a vase as in a $10.00 vase, it was a vase as in $50,000.00 vase and threw it across the room, where it hit the wall and shattered into a million pieces.

I turned around with my pants in my hands and my shoes on my feet when he demanded "Don't you ever compare me to that fucking piece of shit! I would never think that of you. I have never treated you that way and don't you ever think that it would start now!"

I was scared. I didn't mean it that way. I don't even know what I was thinking saying it so casually. I was used to being treated like a piece of trash, TJ wasn't used to me feeling that way.

I ran over to him and hugged him. "Honey, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it to come out that way. I would never compare you to him. I just don't like being turned backwards. I feel self-conscious. I would be thinking if you felt that way too. You are nothing like him. Please, I'm so sorry". I began kissing him on his cheeks and lips, whispering against his skin my apologies over and over. My lips trailed down to his mouth. "Please, I need to show you I'm sorry." I kissed him frantically, plunging my tongue into his mouth again. I needed him to see how important it was for him to forgive me. He grabbed my head and held me against him as we slid our tongues in between each other's lips.

"Please TJ…I'm begging you." I began grasping him again, he immediately was hard. I fell down to my knees, I was out of control. I needed him as though I needed my next breath. He was my savior, he allowed me to be uninhibited. "Trevor…" That was all I needed to say. He reached under my shoulders and picked me straight up in the air, I felt the desperation in him, he needed me as bad as I needed him. "Tell me what you want, baby". I want him to know I feel the ache just as much as he does. He pushed me up against the wall. "You are no longer his!" I felt him rub the tip of his cock against me…I tensed up with anticipation. "I never was his, Trevor." I returned, as I felt him slide gently into me, he was wound as tight as a top. He wanted to fuck me like he's never fucked me before, but he was fearful. "You are mine now!" he said as he filled me all the way up. I closed my eyes, in the relief I felt of having him connected to me. "Open your fucking eyes!" He yelled at me, not out of anger but out of desire. I opened my eyes. "I've always been yours, Trevor". He drew back out and I gripped my hands in his hair, I wanted him to go faster, I needed him to fuck me faster. "Say the words, Elleny". I pulled myself up and slammed myself back down on him searching for what I was looking for and not finding it. "Goddammit Trevor, I'm fucking begging you. I need you to fuck me now and hard. I'm not glass, baby, please…" I'm almost ready to cry, I'm pleading so desperately.

He pushed back in slowly again, I'm getting ready to scream. "What the fuck do you want to hear? Tell me I'll say it" I bawled. I felt him touch the top of me internally, but it wasn't getting me anywhere. I was so turned on, I ended up taking my hand out of his hair, putting it between us and began creating friction.

"Fuck you! You don't get to come! You say the words and I make you come! It belongs to me, you hear me, Elleny?" It hit me; I knew what he wanted to hear and Fuck you!! I would never say those words again. I said them to him seventeen years ago and I had an emotional breakdown trying to forget those words. "Get off of me" I whispered. Now I was pissed! He was using shit that he knew, for a fact would break me, just for me to get him off. "No, say the words!" still inside me, he had come to a complete stop.

I began moving, but it wasn't enough. He pushed my blouse down and pulled my breast out of my bra and began to suck on my hard peak. "Elleny, your pussy is so wet, it's dripping down my sac baby, say the fucking words and let me get you off." I closed my eyes. He began to bite harder. He moved to the left one and sucked my nipple almost painfully, but the feeling was so intense, I could feel my orgasm rising just from that. He stopped all together; I saw him lower his hand and felt it go below my ass. He pulled it back up; his fingers were shiny and dripping wet. "Baby, this is all you." He stuck his fingers in his mouth and licked them clean. I was ready to scream at the top of my voice in sexual frustration. "I could eat you for dinner, every night. My cock is ready to bust here, Elleny, say the words and I will move." I had enough, I screamed as loud as I could "FUCK YOU!!! I'M NOT SAYING IT AGAIN!!! I WONT BE ABLE TO SURVIVE THIS TIME GODDAMMIT!!!" He stopped everything. No more talking, no more teasing, nothing. He began to move again, slowly. "I can't say any more than what I've said to you, Elleny, I told you how I felt last night. I need something from you, baby." He was slowly working himself in me.

Again, I began to rock my hips. "I want the words, baby doll. I need the words." I want to tell him so bad, I do love him. I never stopped loving him, but I can't risk it. He started to thrust harder, deeper. "Ride my cock, Elleny, you love it." He was beginning to build up friction, "I do love it" I rolled faster. "You love my cock don't you, Ellie-bean, you only come for me, don't you?" "Yes, only for you." He was banging me now, going so deep and so fast my back was building up friction on the wall. "That's it baby, come all over me, I want you marked by me; you're not washing my come off of you neither, I want to smell you and know that that's my smell on you. Holy fuck, I'm gonna come so fucking hard."

"Oh God, Trevor I'm coming. Don't stop!!!" I opened my mouth to enjoy the high and… he stopped. Everything!

He screamed "Say the fucking words, Elleny!!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!! FUCK TREVOR, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I'VE NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU. I CAN'T SEE ANYONE ELSE BUT YOU. I CAN'T GO BACK TO THAT. I WON'T GO BACK!!! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR? IS IT, YOU SADISITIC MOTHER FUCKER!!!"

He thrusted into me so hard, I felt like I got whiplash, "That's" thrust "What" thrust "I" thrust "wanted" thrust "to" thrust "hear" thrust "WIFE" thrust. I made it over the top almost to the point of passing out. My orgasm was so big, I sat there for ten minutes, just feeling the high pass over my body. My head on his shoulder, I couldn't even bring my head up to look at him. I just started sobbing. "Elle…baby don't-"

"No you don't ,Trevor!" I pushed him away. I was standing there naked from the waist down; crying. My heart wasn't even a heart anymore, it was just a puddle of shit in my chest cavity. I didn't want to say the words because I knew that it wasn't even conceivable for us to be together.

I walked to the bathroom to clean up, he followed me in there. "Don't what, Elleny? Let's be honest here, what is it you're not telling me? Why can't we be together?"

"Honesty" I laugh manically. "I don't even know what that word means anymore." I mumbled to myself, but obviously loud enough for him to hear me. "Look, if it's about Bear, I understand."

"You do? "I laughed again. "You understand…"

"Yes, I understand that you have children with him and just because you two don't get along, you don't want to pull the kids out from him. You're a good mom and you don't want your kids to suffer. But they won't suffer darlin', they'll grow to love me."

I'm a good mom. That phrase echoed through my brain. Suddenly, I thought of all the things that I had done to be a good mom. The lies I had told, the people I had hurt; the damage I have caused on my children from growing up with a monster. I didn't say another word. I fixed my hair, cleaned up my face and went to find my clothes. "Let's go, I have work to do."

The ride to work was extremely quiet, my eyes didn't roam. They looked straight ahead. As soon as the car came to a stop, I opened the car door and exited out onto the pathway that led up to the building. "Elle, wait up" I heard him, but I paid him no mind. I have a job to do and I want it done so that I can get the fuck out of here and get back to my shitty life of nothing but beatings and lies. I stood in front of the elevator, after I pushed the button. TJ ended up catching up to me. He sounded like he was a bit out of breath but maybe he needed that exercise. We stood there, waiting for the chime and finally we heard it. We both stood back and waited to see if anyone would step off, no one did. We walked in and as soon as the doors closed I beat him to the punch.

"I'm here to work, Trevor. I'm not here to fuck my boss. I'm finishing my job and I will leave as soon as the last contract is signed. I will be finishing up the memory sticks this morning, This afternoon, I will get the clients scheduled for the next several day's signings and I will be out of here before you leave for lunch."

He laughed "You done?" I looked at him…was he fucking serious? This was all a big fucking joke to him? Well, I'm done being the punch line.

"You won't leave until I say you leave. If you remember; your boss, Mr. Stevens is depending on you."

That piece of shit! I moved quickly in his face and I was fucking furious. "Don't you fucking dare, threaten me with that shit!" I gritted at him. "I was called here to do a job of collecting and storing two hundred and fifty signed contracts, I just told you, that will be accomplished. Don't you fucking think you can toy with me McHale, I'm not the kinda bitch to be toyed with."

I went back in my corner and looked up at the numbers, praying that this elevator had warp speed; it didn't. Another word was never spoken. As soon as the elevator doors opened, I put my mask back into place. My face was adorned with a smile that could light up the dark. He allowed me to exit first, but as soon as he walked off into the lobby he passed me and mouthed with his finger circling his face "Nice mask". I flipped him off. I greeted Charlene with a smile and a warm "Good morning." I still have not had a cup of coffee, even though I had a very thorough fucking, which I would have to say was better than a cup of coffee but I'd never let TJ know it. I walked to my office, which I was going to have to check with Mary to see if there was another spot available. I really didn't want to see him today. I dropped my stuff off at my desk, and then headed for the kitchen to get a much needed cup of coffee. I passed his office without even looking in and continued down the hall. I passed several offices until I heard a distinguishable voice, "Well, hey there, good lookin'." I rolled my eyes to myself, put the smile on and turned to step into his office. "Morning Sam, how are you today?" He sat up and smiled his creepy-ass smile. He reminded me of the men my daddy would describe to me not to take candy from. "Well, I'm better now that you walked in." he responded with a wink. "Headed somewhere?" god, please don't follow me to the kitchen. "Ah, just going to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee, then I'm heading back to my desk to get the day a ‘Rollin". I said with a little Georgia accent that I was trying my best to hide.