Perfectly Toxic (The Sterling Shore Series Book 9) (35 page)

“You don’t have to stay,” I tell him as he flicks through the channels.

He doesn’t respond. Instead, he simply gets a little more comfortable by propping his feet up on the bed next to mine. I notice his shoes are missing, so apparently he plans to stay no matter what I say.

“Are you going to talk to me?” I ask him softly.

He shakes his head and clears his throat. “Can’t right now,” he says hoarsely.

Then I understand.

Instead of making it harder on him, I reach over and thread my fingers with his. He immediately clutches my hand, and we silently sit there, watching some random show, never even acknowledging the nurses as they come and go. When I close my eyes, the gentlest brush of soft lips finds my forehead, and that’s it.

Chapter 70

ETHAN

Mom and all the girls are working on the nursery today, so I guess I’ll be taking Bella to her house instead of mine.

Berta is waiting with her in the wheelchair when I get my car pulled around. Dale Sterling saw it about to be towed last night and moved it for me. I wouldn’t have cared about it until Bella had to be carried home and I had no ride to do it with.

It was hard as hell to leave her long enough to pull the car around.

When I reach her, she smiles a brittle smile, and I climb out just as she tries to stand up. I have her in my arms before she can fully straighten, and a surprised breath leaves her in a gasp.

“I can walk,” she says, but I don’t put her down until I have her in the front seat and even go so far as to buckle her up.

We ride in silence to her house, because I’m still struggling to speak. I was relieved and still terrified at the same time when she told me she hadn’t lost the baby. She didn’t lose our baby, but she could have. The call was too close, and now I’m fighting the urge to lock her away with bubble-wrap all over her.

Those stairs… She could have broken her neck or something. I don’t even want to think about what I would have done if she’d died.

A shudder wracks my body just as we pull up. I feel her eyes on me, but there are too many things going on in my head to try and talk to her right now.

Somehow I have to convince her to quit her damn job so I can have my eyes on her all the time. Fortunately, the hospital told her to take a couple of paid weeks off, so I have some time. I assume that has something to do with the phone call Corbin’s dad put in, raising hell that his son was treated like he had no authority when it mattered.

I guess Corbin was wrong about his father not still having his back too.

Bella doesn’t protest this time when I scoop her up, and I hold her against me, inhaling her scent.

Allie opens the door for us when we reach it, and her eyes burst into tears. She couldn’t get to the hospital before Bella fell asleep last night, and I wouldn’t let her wake her up. I really didn’t want her here today, but I knew Bella would, so I ceded this much.

Allie follows us into the living room, and I gently put Bella down so that the two can hug and gush and talk about how sickeningly close that came to being a hell of a lot worse than stitches.

What if the glass had stabbed her artery? What if the glass had stabbed her spine? What if she’d been paralyzed? What if? What if?

I’ve already gone through all those terrifying ‘what if’ scenarios and can’t handle hearing them all again.

No more stairs for Bella. Ever.

Fortunately, my house doesn’t have stairs. It’s a big home, but it’s not a beast like Tag’s or Maverick’s. I never saw the need in something that massive.

As Allie and Bella talk late into the day, I start growing increasingly agitated. That obsession has kicked up a notch higher since I damn near lost her and our child. All I want is to curl around her and hold her. Can’t do that when her best friend is talking to her about stupid things nonstop.

Plus, I’m not sure how Bella is going to feel about me just suddenly picking up right where we left off. Brin stops by and feeds us with some pizza she picked up, which only keeps Allie here longer.

Snatching my phone, I head outside, and I pull the piece of paper out of my pocket that has a number on it. I never planned to use this number, it was just in case anything went wrong with Bella in the hospital, but I’ve changed my mind.

Seeing the bond between Allie and Bella reminds me how it was forged. It pisses me off, but at the same time… No, it just pisses me off. But I’m not being selfish anymore, and this has nothing to do with me.

It has to do with Bella.

I’ve seen the way she watches my parents, and even though my mother is annoying as hell, I love her, and I see the envy Bella has.

A man answers gruffly on the third ring.

“Pierson residence.”

“Mr. Pierson, this is Ethan Noles. I just wanted to let you know your daughter was in the hospital, and she didn’t even feel like you should know.”

His breath catches, and a pained sound escapes him. “Is she okay?” he asks, sounding truly upset.

That’s the incentive I need to continue.

“She’s fine now, but it could have been bad. She also could have lost the baby. By the way, she’s pregnant with my baby, and we’re not married.
But
if you ever want to meet your grandchild, I suggest you find a medium ground between your values and the family you lost for them.”

Another pained sound comes out, and then something akin to sobbing is muffled in the background.

Now I feel like an ass. I expected him to be colder than this.

“She’s pregnant?” he whispers.

“Yes,” I answer warily. I was doing this for Bella, but now I feel like I’ve crossed a line, because he doesn’t sound like the icy bastard I thought he’d be.

“I’m having a grandchild?”

“Out of wedlock,” I point out. Marriage is a discussion we’ll have to have, but I doubt either of us want to get married for the wrong reasons.

Though I’m not sure how wrong the reasons would be… Bella’s mine, and I’ll never want anything else. Yesterday cemented how lost I’d be if I didn’t have her.

He makes more hoarse sobbing noises on the other end, and I really start regretting this phone call. I wanted to tell him off, listen to him cower when I lost my temper. Tears… I didn’t expect tears.

“Where is she?” he asks softly.

“In the other room.”

“I mean,
where
is she? I don’t even know where she lives, and she hasn’t answered our phone calls in so long.”

Well… Shit.

“She lives in Sterling Shore now. Um… I’d have her call you, but she’s—”

“We messed up. Not her. It’s our fault we don’t know she has our grandchild in her stomach right now. Her mother has lived with the guilt of forcing our daughter away for years. But Bella doesn’t forgive easily. She’s always been a stubborn, prideful girl, and she refuses to be hurt by the same person twice. We knew it, but… We lost her because of our own pride. Can you help me see my daughter?”

Ah, hell. He’s breaking my heart. Damn it, Bella.

“Um… I’ll figure something out. So does Bella know you regret what happened?”

“How could she? The last phone call we shared started with us apologizing, but it ended with us pointing out all the ways she’d failed us or would fail if she didn’t do exactly as we said, starting with cutting Allie out of her life. Her mother even told her she’d be pregnant and in a gutter if she kept up her ways. Bella has every right to hate us, but time has taught us how wrong we were. I miss my daughter.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

How many ways can this go wrong? Too damn many.

“So you’re the baby’s father?” he asks me when I grow quiet. “How far along is she?”

“Um… She’s still in the first trimester,” I tell him, uncertain of the exact weeks, because things have been a little too hectic for those details just yet.

“And you love her?”

Swallowing down a knot, I nod. Then I realize I’m a dumbass because this is a phone call and not a face-to-face, meaning he can’t see me nodding. “Yes. I do. I love her enough to make this phone call, though I imagined it going differently.”

“And the baby’s okay? You said hospital.” He goes on as though I didn’t just shift the conversation.

“Our baby’s healthy. It was a lucky break.”

He blows out a genuinely relieved breath. “And Allie’s with her? She has more than just you, right?”

“Yeah. Allie’s inside with her right now. They’re like sisters.”

He chokes back another sob, and clears his throat. “That girl… We failed her too. It was so easy to see things in black and white, but my girl was the one in the right. We just didn’t see it until it was too late.” He clears his throat several times in a row this time. “If you love her, then she’s kept you around a while. My girl doesn’t do that, because no one is perfect. By now, you’ve at least made some mistakes. But she’s forgiven you?”

Ah hell. “Yes,” I tell him, omitting my latest offense that I’m not so sure is forgiven.

“Then you’re really special to her. Don’t mess that up, Ethan Noles. Bella doesn’t love like that. She shies away from too much conflict, and because of us, she doesn’t trust people to change. If she’s even forgiven you once, then you’re the one for her. It means she cares about you more than she’ll ever admit aloud.”

She’s forgiven me many more times than once, but I didn’t understand the magnitude of that until this moment. This is seriously not the conversation I foresaw.

“She misses you. She hasn’t said it, but I see it when she looks at my parents,” I lamely tell him, feeling the need to console the poor bastard.

I can tell he’s crying again, and I run a hand through my hair. I wanted to be the one who put them in their place, but it sounds like they’ve regretted their place for a really long time.

“If you ever find it in your heart to help us reunite with our daughter, I would be eternally grateful,” he finally says, but the words are so strained with emotion, that I can tell they’re hard to get out.

“And you wouldn’t put her down or make her feel guilty for who she is?” I ask immediately.

“Never again,” he agrees, as though those are the only words he can choke out.

“Then I’ll figure something out,” I say on a long sigh.

“Thank you.” And he’s crying again. Fuck my day.

“I need to get back inside. I’ll be in contact. Just remember, I love her and our baby, so you really don’t want to go back on your word. I’m not such a nice guy when I’m pissed.”

“Thank you,” he repeats. “And I won’t go back on my word.”

My phone feels like a weighted anvil in my pocket when I head back inside.

Brin spots me, and leaves Allie and Bella to join me in the kitchen as I prop up against a counter.

“You okay?” Brin asks. Everyone appears to be finished eating now.

“I will be,” I say quietly, even though I’m not sure how true it is. I still need to fix everything between myself and Bella. And now I’ve apparently taken on the task of fixing things between Bella and her parents.

Brin glances over at the living room where Allie is giggling with Bella over some magazine they’re flipping through.

“What about you?” I ask her, needing the distraction before I grab Allie and toss her out on her ass.

“It was scary, but I’m so happy the baby is okay.”

“I meant you and Rye. Since that argument and all.”

She shrugs, averting her eyes. It’s not like I usually ask questions or try to sound supportive, but Rye’s my best friend.

“Rye loves you and you know it.”

She gives me a grim smile. “Rye does love me. And I do know it. But I also know how easy it is to fall into a comfortable routine and forget things need to progress. I want kids one day, Ethan. I can give that up, but only if I know for sure Rye really wants to keep moving forward and not come to a standstill just because it’s comfortable. So… I’ve implemented a no-prank rule for a while.”

My eyebrows go up. “That’s… How’s that going to work? You both love your pranks. Hell, it’s part of what’s so amazing about your relationship.”

She shrugs again, looking away. “One day, we’ll have that fun again. I just need to know this is real and not just fun. I love him so much that it kills me to ever think about losing him, but I think everyone needs to know if they’re just as important to someone. You know?”

Yeah. I do.

When I didn’t let Bella know just how important she’d become, I damn near lost her.

“So no pranks? I give it two weeks before one of you cracks,” I say, trying to lighten the mood.

She doesn’t smile. I suck at being funny.

“I guess we’ll see. I need to go back to your house to help finish the nursery,” she says, ending the conversation on a whisper to keep Bella from overhearing.

“See if you can talk Allie into going with you,” I grumble. “Maybe then I can let Bella know she’s pretty damn important to me.”

Her lips twitch, and she nods before walking into the living room. Just before she reaches them, she puts on a bright smile that could fool anyone who didn’t just see all the uncertainty in her eyes moments ago.

I need to call Rye.

After a few minutes, Allie blows out a long breath, hugs Bella, and stands with Brin. Apparently Allie took the hint, even though she darts a warning glance at me.

“Call me if anything at all changes, or if she runs a fever, or if—”

“I’ll call you if she sneezes. Got it,” I interrupt, sounding a little bit like a dick, but I don’t care. It’s been a rough couple of days. I still have to write a check to the hospital for the window I destroyed, and I have to apologize to all the guys who are wearing bruises today because of me.

Speaking of which…

While Allie and Bella finish up their goodbyes—sheesh, they’re not going to war, for fuck’s sake—I text Rye.