Pathway to Tomorrow (25 page)

He watched Jodie and Bucky grow smaller and smaller until they were a black dot in the distance and then he stood up and retraced his steps back to the house that was a prison, not just for Luke but for him too, because without Jodie it would never be a home.

* * *

By the time Jodie returned she was almost back to her normal self. The wind, the salt spray and the exercise had done much to restore her equanimity, and with a busy schedule waiting for her she had no time to brood. Leaving Buckmaster tucking in to the fresh hay she had forked into his feeding trough, she returned to the cottage. Izzie’s curtains were still drawn so she was surprised to find her in the kitchen when she stepped inside.

“I thought you were still asleep,” she said with a smile.

“I don’t seem to be able to lie in like I used to. I guess it’s because I’m sleeping better now the nightmares have gone.” Izzie poured out a glass of orange juice as she spoke and pushed it across the table.

Jodie drank it gratefully and then tipped cereal and milk into a bowl and topped it with sliced banana.

Izzie tossed the discarded banana skin into the trashcan before she sat down opposite Jodie. “I’m sorry about yesterday,” she said. “I know I was out of line and I accept you don’t want to talk about it but just tell me one thing will you? Do you love Marcus?”

For a moment Jodie stiffened but then all the fight went out of her. She nodded. “Yes…but I know it won’t work. We have such different views about Luke that we’d spend all our time arguing, plus Marcus gets really jealous if I spend too much time with him.

“What if I told you Marcus is really working at it? He’s trying so hard Jodie. He’s spent a fortune meeting with experts in the past few weeks. He even flew to the States to visit a special school there to see if he could find a better solution for Luke’s education.”

Jodie shook her head. “It’s not enough. Luke is a very bright little boy and I’m sure he could achieve a great deal with the right support but even the best education isn’t the answer. What he needs is to know he’s loved. He needs his Dad.”

* * *

For the rest of the day Jodie took lessons, ordered feed, supervised the stable girls who were cleaning out the tack room, and was kept busy with the hundred and one other jobs that were part and parcel of running the riding school.  All the time, however, she was aware that it was one of the days Luke came for his lesson and she wanted to talk to Carol about him before he arrived.

She had deliberately distanced herself from him after her argument with Marcus because she didn’t want him confused by the fact she didn’t visit him at home anymore. Sure it was better for him not to see her at all, she’d asked Carol to supervise his lessons instead, and contented herself with a regular update on his progress.

Carol, who had her own theories about the shadows under Jodie’s eyes and her increasingly short fuse, kept her thoughts to herself at their weekly meetings. Instead she did her best to put Luke in a good light even though she knew Jodie could see right through her. The truth was, he wasn’t really benefiting at all. The most he had agreed to do so far was to stand at the side of the indoor arena with his care worker and watch the other riders walk around with the volunteer helpers. He wasn’t always silent either. Sometimes the infernal clicking noise he made upset everyone around him, including the horses.  Unhappy with what she was about to say, she poured Jodie a coffee, grabbed one for herself, and then settled into the chair opposite, using the pile of papers they had to go through as a barrier between them.

Anxious to put off the moment of truth, she began to itemize them one by one as she slid them across the table to where Jodie sat, pen in hand. After half-a-dozen, however, she gave up.

“You don’t want to do this now do you? You want to talk about Luke.”

Taking Jodie’s silence for acquiescence, she threw down her own pen, took a sip of her rapidly cooling coffee, and started to speak. Jodie didn’t interrupt, nor did the expression on her face change, but when Carol had finished she got up from the table, mug in hand, and walked across to the window. From there she could see everything in the yard including Luke, who had just arrived.

He was wearing the old green baseball cap and fleece Izzie had given him and she knew it was because he associated it with her and with Izzie and Buckmaster.  Whether she wanted to or not, it would be impossible for Mrs. Cotton to get him into jodhpurs and a proper riding hat. Only Izzie could do that. Or you could the little voice in her head told her. Angrily she shook it away. She didn’t want to listen to what she could or couldn’t do for Luke, not when it was so painful.

“Shall I give it another go or should we call it quits?” Carol asked, coming to stand behind her. “After all we know it doesn’t work for everyone. Maybe Luke is just resistant to horses.”

Remembering how joyfully he’d greeted Buckmaster in the days before Blue’s death, Jodie took a deep breath.  “Get one of the girls to saddle up Bucky please. Maybe he’ll be better with a horse he knows.”

Carol stared at her in horror. “For goodness sake Jodie whatever are you thinking of? I know Bucky is patient with the children…I know most of them love him…but he’s far too big for a child as small as Luke. Don’t forget he hasn’t even agreed to sit on a pony yet, so he’s not going to be thrilled when he sees a horse Buckmaster’s size is he?”

Wishing she could shut out that maddening little voice that kept telling her she had to help Luke, Jodie turned away. “Ask his care worker if he’ll wait a bit longer please. The arena will be empty in another fifteen minutes and that might be all he needs, a space by himself.”

With an unhappy shrug Carol hurried away to do her bidding. At least she’d tried so if it all went wrong it was on Jodie’s head. Of course there was just a chance she was right. After all she was the one who’d taken the trouble to learn about children with autism, and she was the one who attended training courses in her own time.

* * *

When Jodie led Buckmaster into the arena Luke was waiting for her. He looked very small standing beside his care worker, and when she led the big chestnut towards him he backed away.

“Hello Luke. Have you come to see Bucky today?”

When he didn’t reply she carried on talking, keeping her words simple and factual with pauses in between to give him time to process them. Although he was super bright in some areas, she knew that stress frequently stopped him listening to the people who were talking to him, and today he was so stressed he wouldn’t even look at her.

“I’m going to take Bucky for a walk Luke. Come with us. He likes you so he will like it if you walk with him.”

As she spoke she started to lead Buckmaster around the arena. If he was watching her, Luke didn’t show it. Instead he flapped his arms repetitively and began to click his tongue.  Ignoring him, Jodie made a full circle of the indoor school before coming to a stop beside him again.

“Bucky liked that but he would like it better if you would come too Luke.”

When he ignored her again, she repeated the circle. Then she did it a third and a fourth time. Finally, without looking at Luke, she left Buckmaster standing beside him and walked across to where some apples and carrots were stored in a plastic bin. Lifting the lid she took out as many as she could hold and stuffed them into her pocket. Then she walked back to Buckmaster with her palm outstretched.

With a soft huff of pleasure, he gently scooped up the windfall apple she’d kept in her hand. She patted him and then smiled at Luke.

“That was his treat for walking so nicely. Would you like to give him a treat too Luke, just like you used to do?” She emptied the contents of her pocket onto the hay bale they sometimes used for mounting the horses, and waited.

It took a long time but eventually Luke moved away from his care worker and edged his way over to the heap of fruit and vegetables. Very carefully he separated them into two piles and then lined them up neatly. The young man who’d brought him for his lesson rolled his eyes at Jodie, his patience near breaking point. She gave a slight smile as she shook her head. It was his job to look after Luke so he could stand there for however many hours it was going to take as far as she was concerned. Maybe he’d even learn how to encourage Luke to achieve something new instead of just doing the same old thing every day.

Finally, after grading everything by size as well, Luke selected the smallest carrot and walked across to Buckmaster. Very slowly and deliberately he flattened his hand, balanced the carrot on it, and held it out. Holding her breath lest Bucky dislodge it and knock it to the ground in his eagerness to eat it, Jodie watched. Instead, to her utter amazement he took the carrot with unusual delicacy and then dipped his head so his ears were level with Luke’s head.

* * *

“It was a real obeisance,” she told Izzie as they washed the dishes together at the end of their evening meal. “You know, the sort of respect he gives to me when he feels like it, but which he never, ever gives to anyone else.”

“And what did Luke do?”

“He just gave him another carrot.” Jodie laughed as she recalled Luke’s actions at the end of the lesson. “He had no idea something special had happened. As far as he was concerned he was just feeding Bucky, and when there was no more food he started to make a fuss again.”

“So what happens now?” Izzie finished drying the plate she was holding and placed it on top of the stack of dishes in front of her.

“He comes back tomorrow.”

“That soon? I thought he was only booked in for a couple of lessons a week.”

“He was, but even Rob, his care worker, was impressed enough to agree it might be a good idea to bring him more frequently for a while.”

“Is he always going to have lessons on his own or will you put him back in the class with the others?”

“A bit of both I think. That’s if I can persuade him to sit on Buckmaster. It’s early days yet but now Bucky is taking charge I’m really hopeful things will improve.”

* * *

She wasn’t disappointed. In a matter of days Luke progressed from feeding Buckmaster carrots and apples to walking around the indoor arena holding onto his leading rein. He started talking again too. Not to her, but to the big chestnut horse who plodded along beside him. Jodie listened to his conversation with growing delight. He’d remembered everything Izzie had told him about fodder and the correct diet for a horse, and he regaled it all to Buckmaster as they walked together. Eventually she joined in, gently correcting him when he got something wrong, and explaining how the exact quantities of food and water a horse needed depended on its size and how active it was.

By the time they moved onto the horse’s digestive process he was hooked, and when she asked him if he wanted to help her to feed Buckmaster at the end of a lesson he was so excited he fairly danced across the yard to the stable.

Soon feeding Bucky was the highlight of his visit and eventually Jodie used it to get him up onto the horse’s back. She started gently.

“You can take him back to his stable today,” she told him as he rubbed his fingers across Bucky’s velvety nose. For a moment he looked doubtful.

“You can do it because it’s almost the same as leading him around the arena and you’ve done that lots of times.”

By the following day that
was part of his routine too. By now completely absorbed in the program she had put together for him Jodie knew it was time for a further challenge. A few days later she swung herself up onto Buckmaster’s back when the lesson finished.

“I’m going to ride Bucky back to his stable to feed him today Luke. You can see him again tomorrow.”

She didn’t look back as Buckmaster trotted out of the indoor school and across the yard, even though she could hear Luke complaining. Hardening her heart she decided to leave Rob to cope with him. It would do him good to have to think of a way to handle the change to Luke’s routine, and now, after weeks of working with him, she knew he would be able to do it. He’d stopped rolling his eyes and started to watch and listen to what she was saying weeks ago, and nowadays when he and Luke arrived for the lesson it was difficult to tell who was the most excited.

She sighed as she forked fresh hay into Buckmaster’s stall. “He’s only a kid himself Bucky; someone who is looking after Luke while he tries to discover what it is he really wants to do with his life. Why Marcus thought he was suitable I have no idea. Maybe it’s because not many people want to spend day after day shut up with a challenging eleven year old, so he was all that was available. He’s only doing it for the money anyway. He told me. He says when he’s earned enough he’s going travelling, so he’s not really interested in what makes Luke tick.”

Buckmaster gave her the long suffering look he always gave her when he wanted her to go away so he could eat his supper in peace.  She chuckled as she slapped his rump. “It’s alright, I’m going. You better prepare yourself though because tomorrow’s the big day…I hope!”

* * *

When Luke arrived the following day it was clear he was angry with her. Rob shrugged when she raised a questioning eyebrow.