Paranoiac (18 page)

Desperate to
get her and everyone else to leave I decided to play along. All I
needed to do is tell her exactly what she wanted to hear. “Yeah, we
got in a huge fight.” She clicked her teeth in disapproval. Rosanna
hated violence, especially if it involved women. “We got into a
fight over Molly and it got physical,” I said forcing myself to
sound doleful. I put my hands on the fireplace’s mantle. Looking
into the large mirror, I could see Rosanna glaring at me with her
arms crossed. “The fight got pretty bad and after everything was
said and done,” Pausing for effect, I looked down at my feet. “I
told them to leave, to go home and that I never wanted to see them
again.” My voice was quivering as I finished. I was being a bit
theatrical but I was really desperate for her to drop her
concerns.

“
Wait, hold on Isaac. You said they left but I never saw them
leave,” She briskly, walking over to the lobby and looked out the
narrow, slit of a window alongside the front door. “Her car is
still here,” Rosanna said tapping her finger at the window. “I’ve
been in the living room for the past hour or so chatting with
Davis. He was concerned about Molly so he went to check on her.” I
turned to look at her and saw the scrutinizing look on her
face.

“
She’s going to find out! Let me kill her!” Screamed my dark
double. I stood frozen scrambling to think of some excuse but I
could tell by her face that she wouldn’t buy it. My monster wanted
out and it was taking all of my strength to hold it
down.

“
I
think we should go get Vince,” Rosanna said calmly. I turned my
head to the side, avoiding her peering eyes and saw a fire poker
staring back at me.

“
Grab it! Grab it! Smash her stupid face in!” Screamed the
beast. My hand reached out for the black-iron fire poker but I
forced it back down. “She’s going to tell Vince, everyone’s going
to see your dirty, little secret!” It taunted, weakening my
resolve.

“
I
think Vince will be able to help sort all of this drama out. He has
a load of experience with this kind of stuff,” Rosanna said as she
walked over to me. “I just want to make sure everyone is okay.
Including you Isaac,” She said, trying to be sincere.

Rosanna
smiled, squeezed my shoulder and started to walk away. “I’m sorry,
Isaac. I know you don’t want to hurt her but if you don’t kill her,
everyone will find out,” My monster pleaded. I bowed my head with a
deep sense of guilt and let my awful, murderous double off of his
leash.

Journal Entry Thirty One

I felt myself
grow cold and numb as I wrapped my fingers tightly around the fire
pokers' grip. Briskly walking up to Rosanna, I let my anger boil to
the surface. “You should have minded your own business you nosey
bitch!” I yelled out raising the poker over my head. She whipped
around just in time for the hook to slam into her skull. The
horrific squelching sent frissons up my spine. I wanted to close my
eyes, for all this to be over to disappear, but my monster had
other plans. He wanted to savor it, to revel in it all.

Rosanna let
out a choking groan and fell heavily to the floor. I stepped on her
neck and forcefully jerked the fire-iron out of her skull. Blood
began gushing out almost immediately and pooled around her. I
watched as her body seized violently. The abhorrent acolyte within
chortled happily as her head smacked harshly against the wood
floor. It sounded wet and disgusting. A few minutes went by, her
body finally became still and she let out a long exhaling moan
before giving up the ghost.

“
What the fuck?!” Someone suddenly yelled with a heavy slur. I
whipped around and saw Senter, his face twisted with terror. Baring
my teeth, I stomped towards him. “Wait! Isaac!” I ignored him and
raised the fire poker. “I won’t tell anyone! You can trust me! Just
let me go home and you’ll never hear from me again!” He pleaded
drunkenly as he staggered off balance.

“
Sorry Senter, but I’m not sorry,” I growled, swinging the
heavy poker like a baseball bat. It connected with his cheek,
bashing his face in. Grunting he fell backwards and crashed on top
of the coffee table. Glass exploded around him and he slumped into
the now empty frame.

“
Why?” He moaned out painfully. I walked over and set the poker
on to the floor. “Please, I won’t.” Senter mumbled, trying and
failing to crawl out of the table.

I
looked down at his crumpled body and studied the broken glass
sticking out of his skin. “That looks like it hurts,” I teased him,
kicking at his boots. He turned his head and I stumbled a few steps
back when I saw that his eye was hanging out of its socket. “Holy
shit!” I giggled walking back over to him. “I take back what I
said,
that
must hurt!” Commenting
jokingly I pointed at his eye. Senter was too drunk and dazed to
understand what was going on. “This isn’t fun.” I was so
disappointed by his constant ignorance. He was probably the only
person here who deserved this. I needed to put him out of his
misery so I could clean up my mess.

“
I’m going to do this the hard way,” I hissed through clenched
teeth. Senter squirmed trying to fight me off when I wrapped my
hands around his shredded neck. His eyeball was cold and sticky
against my hand as I squeezed my hands tighter and tighter.
Strangling him was much easier than with Molly. He barely fought
back and it was quicker this time. Within a few minutes he was
already convulsing and in another handful of minutes he was lying
still on the table, blood dripping from his nose and
mouth.

I stumbled
backwards and caught glimpses of the corpses in front of me. They
used to be friends, acquaintances and now they’re dead and gone. I
took away everything they were and would be. I really didn’t want
to hurt anyone else. “But you have too!” Demanded the pallid
schemer. His voice was so much stronger now. It was impossible to
fight him back and part of me didn’t want to anymore.

What scared me
the most was how much I enjoyed feeling this way. I loved how in
control and invincible I felt. Kneeling down, I picked up the
fire-iron. “That’s it, Isaac. The sooner we take care of this mess,
the sooner you can go back to your, miserable, self-loathing life,
where you can continue living in ignorance to the world around you.
A life held together with brittle lies.” As I made my way to the
statue garden, I couldn’t tell the difference between me and the
monster. The longer I let him stay in control, the more I couldn’t
separate him from who I am.

Journal Entry Thirty Two

I walked
around to the side of the house on my way to the patio. The music
was obnoxiously loud. My heart was pumping faster and faster. The
excitement was building and I pushed away the doubt. I shrugged
away my fears, my morals, and kept my eyes on the prize. THEY WERE
ALL GOING TO DIE. Every single one of them

I rounded the
corner and popped open the wooden fence. Amy and James were in the
pool again, playfully splashing water on each other. The music was
hurting my ears. It was so loud I couldn’t even hear what was
playing. It was just staticky noise. Josie and Hanna were dancing
together on the patio. Josie’s dress was twisted around her and she
was barefooted. Hanna’s hair was a tangled red mess. I needed to
kill them first. Their love was so happy, beautiful and annoying.
If I couldn’t have a love like the love they shared, no one
could.

I
came up behind Hanna and smashed the fire poker into the back of
her leg. She fell to the ground instantly and started screaming but
no one could hear her. Josie tackled me into the wall and I
instinctively punched her in the throat. She
instantly fell to the ground, grabbing her neck, choking and
wide-eyed.

Quickly, I ran
over to Hanna who was trying to crawl away from my wrath. Angrily I
grabbed her by the leg and dragged her back to the covered patio.
With both hands firmly twisted around the fire poker, I swung it
laboriously and bludgeoned her face. I brought it down over and
over and over again, crushing her visage into an unrecognizable
mush. Warm blood was dripping from my hands and face. My monster
purred with pleasure, making me feel intoxicated and
invincible.

Josie was back
on her feet, face deformed with rage and desperation. She clumsily
fumbled at my hands trying to disarm me only to get her nose
smashed with my elbow. The moment she hit the ground I compulsively
kicked at her ribcage. Her face contorted painfully with each
sturdy blow, her mouth fixed into a silent gaping
scream.

Out of breath,
I set my sights on Hanna. Josie clawed at my legs, fat tears
dribbling down her face. She was mouthing the words, “please
don’t,” helplessly trying to protect her lover.

“
How cute,” I screamed at her pointlessly. The music drowning
everything out to my advantage. Hanna’s face was ground meat and
what was left of her gorgeous face was hanging from the hook of my
iron poker. She was rocking back and forth, blind and suffering. I
cheerfully strutted over to her side and brushed her bloody,
tangled hair behind her ear and whispered, “Goodbye,” hoping she
could hear me.

I peered over
at Josie’s blubbering face and stomped on Hanna’s neck without
breaking eye contact. There was a guttural, crunching snap
underneath my foot and she went limp. Josie, beyond terrified,
tried to scramble away from me but my weapon of choice had more in
store for her. I swiftly crashed it into her shin, breaking her
leg. Her mouth shot open with bellowing screams.

Abruptly and out of nowhere the music
ceased and Josie’s screams echoed loudly throughout the garden. I
turned around on my heels and in a flash James grasped my shirt and
threw me to the ground. The fire poker clanged to the concrete
floor and James stared at me with a mix of shock and anger. “I
guess I got too careless,” I chuckled looking over to see Amy
standing over Hanna, tears pouring down her pixie-like face. Josie
crawled urgently over to her and hugged at her legs. She was still
sobbing obnoxiously.

“
What the fuck do you
think you’re doing, you freak!” He screamed, fists clenched. Amy
looked green around the gills when she saw the gore around her. She
pulled Josie away from James and I, placing her near the sun-room.
Amy couldn’t believe her eyes. I bet she was trying to figure out
how someone she loved this much could cause so much ugliness and
she was definitely about to find out.

“
If you think this is
fucked up, wait until you see the others,” I articulated flatly,
glaring at James, waiting for my chance to strike. Amy clapped her
hands to her face and started weeping next to Josie. I put my
bloody hands up to show James they were empty and tried to stand
up. “Stay on the ground, you freak!” James bellowed out, puffing
out his chest. He was doing everything he could to make himself
look more threatening but all it did was make him look
stupid.

“
James, your vocabulary is
a bit redundant. Can’t you think of something to call me other than
freak?” I teased, pushing his buttons, looking for an opening.
That’s all I needed.

“
How about, psychopath?”
He shot back. Of course James had the balls to insult me but after
throwing me to the ground he refused to get anywhere near me. He
was scared and intimidated by me and he had a good reason to be.
“Amy, go find Vince! I think he’s using the bathroom in the
kitchen,” James pointed to the sun-room and she tried to run
off.

“
Please, don’t leave me!”
Josie pleaded refusing to let go of Amy’s leg. James turned around
to calm Josie down, leaving himself wide open.

“
Checkmate!” I yelled
grabbing James’s wet ponytail. I pulled him off balance sending him
tripping awkwardly into the plaster wall.

“
Go get Vince!” He grunted
loudly as I punched him. “I’ve got this! Go get Vince!” James
exerted, tackling me around the waist. I threw him off using his
weight against him and kicked him hard in the back.

Josie started screaming, “No! Get him
away from me! Get him away!” She tried to standup, to runaway but
her legs collapsed beneath her. Josie screeched as a raw, bloody
bone protruded out of her leg.

“
Josie! Stay down!” James
shouted out-of-breath, struggling to get away from me. He kicked at
my chest, knocking the air out of me. I fell to the floor, striving
to catch my breath.