Panties for Sale (33 page)

But then, in Rainbow Jeans, she had seemed possessed.
 
She just grabbed things off the rack, handing
them to the salesgirl, not even bothering to look at them.
 
Chieko had the salesgirl bring her every
style of jeans in the store to try on, and then not listening to their
advice.
 
She wanted everything tighter
and sexier.
 
Finally, she found a pair of
low rise Sevens that she could barely breathe in.
 
Just like Britney Spears, Chieko had grinned,
and bought 3 pairs of the $200.00 designer jeans.
 
One in a size smaller than she had tried
on.
 
“Then they will be extra tight,” she
had laughed, “sexy, eh?”
 
Alex hadn’t
known what to say.
 
She had never seen
Chieko behave so outrageous.
 
And now, she
wasn’t even talking.
 
Just looking out
the window.

“Tony,” Chieko looked up. “Yeah, he’s funny.
 
Did I tell you I think he was, a, what do you
call it, first time?”

“A virgin?” asked Alex, already knowing the story, but
wanting Chieko to tell it again.
 
Maybe
if she kept talking, Alex would be able to find out what was really wrong, or
at least make her laugh.

“Yes, how funny. He was so nervous,” Chieko shook her head.
“But, he is really sweet.
 
He asked me to
go to Thailand
with him.
 
Can you imagine?”
“Really,” Alex pretended to sound surprised, “that would be nice.”

“Maybe,
 
but he has
really bad smell, in his mouth.”

“You mean his breath? Really?
 
Oh god, that is awful,” Alex laughed.
 
“So what, it doesn’t matter right?” she
playfully nudged Chieko, “you don’t kiss on the mouth.”

“Yes, imagine if he was your client,” Chieko turned to
Alex, “and you say you will kiss him.”

“Shut up,” Alex laughed.

“Ok, there was this one client,” Chieko rested her chin on
her hands and sighed.
  
“A very nice
man.
 
He was a football player.”

“Right, I remember him, you told me.
 
Hot, right?”

“Yes, hot, very hot. And I kissed him.”

“You what?
 
I thought
you…”

“I know, but he was so hot and tall and,” Chieko leaned
over to Alex, “he lifted me up against the wall.
 
He was so strong.”

“Nice.”

“Yes, nice.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it,” Chieko shrugged.
 
“What can I say?
 
He’s not mine.
 
I am just the escort.
 
Hello.
 
Let’s have sex.
 
Goodbye.
 
You know,” Chieko sat up straight and looked
at Alex “it’s not that difficult to sleep with the old men.
 
They are really nice to me.
 
They spoil me.
 
They give me presents.
 
And I can understand why they want an
escort.
 
I don’t care about them.
 
But why do I have to go see nice young
handsome men?
 
It’s too difficult.
 
Douglas that was his name.
 
He didn’t need an escort.
 
He needed a woman,” she sighed.
 
“I don’t want to just be the escort.
 
I want to be the woman,” she turned back to
the window.

They sat in silence, watching the constant stream of people
hurrying past; businessmen with their heads down on their way to work,
girlfriends out shopping for the afternoon, laughing together, their arms loaded
with shopping bags.
 
As they watched,
their eyes were drawn to a young couple who had stopped right in front of the
window.
 

Chieko stared as the man took the girl’s face in his hands
and looked down at her like she was the most enchanting person on the earth.
Then he leaned forward and kissed her.
 

“You know, a boy from my English class, Jay, he asked me
out.
 
You know, on a date.”

“Really?
 
That’s
great!”

Chieko looked up at her in surprise.
 
“You think it’s great?
 
But what do I say when he asks me what I
do?
 
How can I be honest with him?
 
How can I explain why I live alone and buy so
many clothes and not work?”

“You don’t have to tell him about this.
 
You can say you are studying.
 
Say your parents are paying for you.
 
You know, lots of people come over here to
study English.”

“Of course, I have to tell him. I have to be honest from
the beginning.”
 
Chieko paused, “ok,
fine.
 
I don’t tell him the truth, right
now.
 
But then, what about when he wants
to get close?
 
What if he wants to sleep
with me?”

“So, then you sleep with him.”

“But how can I sleep with him if I love him?
 
I sleep with all these old men, I don’t even
like?”

“It’s not the same.
 
You said it yourself.
 
This Jay,
you like him right?” Chieko nodded. “So, you will kiss him, because he is a
real person, and he is nice, and he likes you.
 
And you like him.
 
That will be
real.”

Chieko frowned and looked away.

Alex sipped her tea.
 
At least now she knew what Chieko was so upset about.
 
But how could she help her?
 
That was Chieko’s personal life.
 
She had to solve that on her own. Maybe this
Jay would understand.
 
Yeah, right, who
was she kidding?
 
Of course he
wouldn’t.
 
“Hey,” Alex tried to lighten
the mood, “what about Mr. Nimbin?
 
I
totally forgot to ask you about him?
 
Did
you see him again?”

Chieko nearly choked on her tea. “Ohma!
 
I forgot to tell you.”
 

“What?
 
What
happened?
 
Did he make you be his slave
like you thought?”

Chieko nodded.
 
“Yes,
he did.
 
But, it was ok.
 
Really, because,” she started giggling, “you
won’t believe.”

“What?”

“When I went to see him, the last time, he was wearing that
black leather outfit we saw at the store.”

“Which one?”

“You know,” Chieko scrunched up her nose, “the one with no
back and a hole in the front.
 
And, he
had this vest on, but it was too small.
 
It was hard for me not to laugh.
 
Really he was so funny,” Chieko shook her head.
 
“Oh, you won’t guess.”

“What?” Alex asked. “What?”

“Well, you know how he likes everything clean?”
“Yes.”

“Well, when he wears his super power leather clothes”

“Wait,” Alex interrupted, “when he wears what?”

“That’s what he calls it - his ‘super power leather’
clothing.”
 

“Oh my god!”
 
Alex
laughed out loud.
 
“That guy is a freak!”

“Well,” Chieko carefully wiped the tears of laughter away
before they ruined her mascara, “when he is in the leather, he likes everything
dirty.
 
When I came to the hotel, he was
throwing paper on the floor.
 
And he told
me not to take off my shoes.
 
And then,”
she looked at Alex, “he made me jump up and down on the bed, naked, with my
shoes on!”

Dearest Diary:

Ok, that was a bit wild of me
to think that I could quit smoking.
 
Give
me a break.
 
I don’t think so.
 
Not with all the shit that is going on in my
life.
 
But yes.
 
I can cut down.
 
Actually, I don’t need one as often.
 
And I try to always open a window.
 

I went to see Luann
today.
 
She said I am doing
wonderful!
 
She said I look
wonderful.
 
Today she balanced my
chakras.
 
She said that she could tell
that I had done a lot of work with my heart chakra.
 
I have really.
 
Every day, I tell myself I love me in the
mirror.
 
And I do love me.
 
It’s incredible really.
 
Just by saying these nice things to myself,
it makes other people say them too.
 
Ok
maybe I am a bit crazy.
 
But everyone is
saying that I look really good.
 
Rested.
 

Today, at Starbucks, I was
talking to a young man.
 
Can you believe
it?
 
He asked me what I was writing.
 
I told him my journal.
 
And we started talking.
 
He said he started writing in a journal a few
years ago and it really helped him.
 
He
didn’t think so at first, but now, he just finished writing a book.
 
Can you imagine?
 
What ever would I write a book about?
 
But wow.
 
And he said it balances him.
 
He
gets edgy if he doesn’t write every few days or so.
 
Actually, he was really interesting.
 
He used to be an architect.
 
Well he still is an architect, but he travels
to Africa and works there.
 
Helping build
houses.
 
I think that’s great.
 

I don’t know why everyone has
to go to Africa though.
 
Shouldn’t we let
Africa heal Africa?
 
I think we have enough that needs healing
right now.
 
Right here.
 
But I guess, if I were Luann, I’d say
anything anyone did to help is wonderful.
 

And, the guy in the café, he
thought I was 35.
 
How adorable is
that!
 
No, I didn’t give him my card or
ask him if he wants an escort.
 
He just
wasn’t that kind of guy.
 
And well, it
just never came up.
 
Anyway, I wished him
luck on his book.
 
How exciting.
 
See, that’s what Luann said.
 
The better I feel about myself, the better
type of people that I will meet.
 
It’s
true.
 
And today, after I left the coffee
shop, I gave a dollar to the man on the street.
 
Just because.
 
So one good deed
done today.
 

I have my investment meeting
tomorrow.
 
So that’s another good
deed.
 
I’ve asked all the girls to come
to the meeting.
 
And so far I think all
will.
 
Except Abby.
 
I don’t know about her.
 
She is avoiding me. I know that.
 
I only get her voice mail.
 
She’s a strong one though.
 
Even though she doesn’t think so.
 
She is going through the down side.
 
That’s what I call it.
 
It happens about this time.
 
She’s been an escort for a few months
now.
 
And she’s worried about it.
 

So much sex for nothing, at
first is hard to deal with.
 
Most girls
think sex is for love, and love has nothing to do with this sex.
 
They can do it for a while, but then they
meet a cute client and they start wishing for more than it is.
 
It happens to lots of girls.
 
So better she sits at home for a few weeks
and eats too much and watches T.V.
 
And
then she goes to the doctor and he tells her nothing is wrong.
 
And then she starts to realize she is wasting
her time, and she needs the money, so she starts working again.
 
I understand.
 
I mean, the new me, the helpful loving me, understands.
 
It’s tough being an escort at first.
 
Especially one like Abby.
 
She is a jewel, but only because the men like
to push her around.
 
It’s got to get
tough for her eventually.
 
It’s good for
her to take a break.
 
I just hope she
snaps out of it soon.
 
Her poor clients
are starting to notice her mood.
 
And I
hate having to reschedule them.

Ok, I know, I am
procrastinating.
 
Luann said that I was
doing so well.
 
So now it was time to get
to work.
 
I thought I was already doing work?
 
But she said no.
 
There was more.
 
She said it was time to get to the heart of
the matter.
 
To decide who I really
was.
 
Ha!
 
I’m me. Angela.
 
Yeah.
 
She didn’t buy it.
 
But she said that everyone has at least 3
defining moments that made them what they are today.
 
And that’s my homework this week.
 
To come up with those three moments.
 
Shit.
 
I don’t want to.
 
God damnit.
 
I don’t want to think about that.
 
My life is going so well right now, I don’t
want to go back to the past.
 
Sometimes I
just wish, that I could forget about all that.
 
Pretend some of the things I’ve done were just a bad movie.
 
A very interesting, erotic, adventure movie,
but a movie.
 
Ok.
 
Fine.
 
I grew up…no.. fuck this.
 
Not
today..
 
I don’t want to ruin my
mood.
 
I’ll think about it tomorrow.