Panties for Sale (41 page)

Only myself.
 
I will only love myself.
 
That’s the most important love anyways.
 
Luann said that.
 
I do, too.
 
I love who I am.
 
I love the way I
look.
 
And I love my boys.
 
God knows I do.
 
Maybe I just need a man to treat me with
respect.
 
To adore me.
 
To pleasure me.
 
Yes, ok. I do need a friend. Someone who
understands my business.
 
And won’t get
all weird on me.
 
Someone to talk
to.
 
To trust.
 
A man I can trust.
 

Luann said that it’s not
enough to want something.
 
You have to be
very specific and ask for exactly what you want.
 
Make a list.
 
So, if I am looking for a man, I have to decide exactly what type of man
I want.
 
Sort of like a shopping
list.
 
Ha!
 
Ok.
 
I
can do that.

Wanted:
 

1 man.
 

Tall. Handsome.
 
Fuck it.
 
Who am I kidding?
 
He doesn’t have
to be a super model.
 
Just a man.
 
Ok, a manly man.

Nice, soulful eyes.
 
Good strong body.

Intelligent.
 
Trustworthy. Honest. Hardworking.
 

Nice to talk to.
 
Someone who likes talking to me.

Someone who cares about
me.
 
Does nice little things to show me
they care.
 

Someone who brings me
flowers, just because.
 

Someone who is funny.
 
Likes to laugh. Makes me laugh.
 

Someone who is
challenging.
 
Thinks different than me
sometimes and is not afraid to voice their opinion. Someone interesting.
 

A good lover.
 
A
very good
unselfish lover.
 
Who loves women.
 
Who loves to please women.
 
Who likes to explore.
 
Who likes to kiss.

Who loves to pleasure women.
Sensual.
 
Sexy.
 
Open.
 

Confident.
 

Someone who is not angry at
life. Not sad.
 

Not a sex addict.
 
Shit.
 
NO. Can’t say any negatives because negatives aren’t recognized. So I’ll
get another god damned sex addict.
 
Ok.
So Cross that out.
 

So, someone who is happy with
their life.
 
Someone HONEST.
 
With his shit screwed on RIGHT.

Unpredictable. Kind.
 

“Angela?
 
Hello?”

“Yes, Ahmed, I’m back here. What is it?”

“For you,” he handed Angela a large bouquet of flowers
wrapped in paper.

“Again? Ahmed, why?” Angela sighed and put down her
journal.
 

“I thought it was obvious.
 
May I?”
 
Ahmed nodded to the empty
chair.

“Sure,” Angela shrugged and tossed the bouquet onto the
empty cushions beside her.

“You look like you need a smile.
 
A friend.
 
Are you ok?”

“Yes, I am fine.
 
Everything is fine.”

“It is one thing to be fine. Another to be happy.”

Angela shook her head.
 
Ahmed looked so comfortable sitting in the arm chair, smiling at her
with his big eyes so round and hopeful.
 
She looked down at the flowers.
 
It was nice of him, she thought, as she picked up the bouquet and
brought the blossoms close to her face inhaling their perfume.
 
So sweet.
 
So fresh.
 
So new.
 

“Alexandria,
I am sorry.
 
Please forgive me.
 
I want to talk to you.”
 

Beep.
 

“Alexandria, where are you?
 
Why don’t you answer?”

Beep.

“Alexandria, please, my darling.
 
I am sorry.”

Beep.
 

“Oh, hello, Elixia?
 
It’s your mother.
 
Are you
there?
 
Why don’t you answer your
phone?
 
I just wanted to talk to
you.
 
Since you won’t answer your
phone.
 
I’ll just tell you.
 
Your father and I are coming down to the city
next week, and we would like to drop by and see your new apartment.
 
We would love to meet this man of yours and
take the two of you out to dinner.
 
Joseph?
 
You said his name
is?
 
We are so happy for you.
 
I’m sure he’s wonderful.
 
Don’t think we are checking up, because we
aren’t.
 
Your father has an appointment
at Toronto General.
 
And we are excited
for you.
 
Ok.
 
Well, I will call again tomorrow.
 
Or, you can call me back.
 
Love you.”

Beep.

“Alexandria”

Beep.

“Hello, Alex?
 
Hai,
yes, I am Chieko.
 
I am sorry.
 
I am so busy.
 
Yes, I listened to your message.
 
No, everything is fine, of course.
 
How are you?
 
I want to see you
too.
 
I have many appointments these
days.
 
But I have a day free on
Thursday.
 
Is it ok with you?
 
I will save some time for you so please will
you call me to tell me if this is ok?
 
Yes?
 
Ok.
 
Please be safe.”

Beep.

“Alexandria, please talk to me.”

Alex erased her messages and leaned back against the
elevator wall.
 
She really should call
her mother back.
 
But not now.
 
God, she’s been calling for days.
 
How annoying.
 
Obviously everything is fine.
 
She
wasn’t angry.
 
She just didn’t want to
talk to her.
 
And Joseph.
 
What to do about him?
 
She had no idea why he had gotten so
angry.
 
It made no sense.
 
Joseph had never even raised his voice
before.
 
It was ridiculous to get so
upset over nothing.
 
What the hell was
the big deal anyways?
 
So what?
 
They didn’t go to Tunisia.
 
He didn’t want her to meet his family. That
was it.
 
That had to be it. He was
ashamed of her?
 
But, that’s impossible.
 
No, it wasn’t that.
 
Something else was up.
 
Something important.
  
And why didn’t he come home last night?
 

As the elevator doors slid open, Alex picked up her
shopping bags and walked down the hall.
 
The apartment door was slightly open.
 
“Hello?
 
Joseph?”
 
She called out as she pushed the door
wider.
 
As she put down her shopping
bags, she noticed a small red patch on the floor.
 
It was a rose petal.
 
And then another.
 
And another.
 
She collected the delicate petals as she followed their path down the
hall and into the bedroom.

“Oh my!” she gasped in surprise.
 
Flickering candle light illuminated the
bedroom, casting a romantic glow across the bed, which was strewn with rose
petals.
 
Alex walked slowly over to the
bed smelling the fragrance from the rose petals.
 
But where was Joseph?
 
Shouldn’t he be here to lead her to the bed
and lay her down in the bed of roses?
 
As
she turned around the room, she listened for a sound of his presence but the
apartment was silent and empty.
 

In the kitchen Alex found two champagne glasses sitting on
the counter beside a half melted bucket of ice.
 
A plate of chocolate strawberries sat beside a bowl of whipped
cream.
 
“Idiot,” she scolded herself as
she dipped one strawberry into the cream and took a bite.
 
If she hadn’t spent so long shopping and
wandering around worrying about Joseph, if she had just come home an hour
earlier, she would be enjoying all of this with Joseph.

But where was Joseph?
 
She wandered out into the living room and stopped.
 
There he was, lying on the couch,
snoring.
 
Alex tiptoed over to him and
gently kissed his forehead.
 

Joseph’s lashes flickered and then he opened his eyes. “I’m
sorry.”

‘It’s ok,” Alex traced her hand along his face, outlining
his lips with her finger before leaning in to kiss him again softly.
 
“It doesn’t matter.”

“I never want to be angry with you again.”

“No,” Alex smiled, “I don’t like being away from you.”
 
Joseph picked Alex up and carried her into
their bedroom.
 
He lay her down on their
bed of roses and made love to her.
 
Many
times.

“What is this?”
 
Angela rubbed her eyes trying to bring them into focus.

“Chai,” Ahmed handed Angela the steaming cup.
 
“Tea. I made it for you.”

Angela sat up and wrapped the bed sheet around her naked
body. She took a sip. “It’s hot, and spicy.”

“Yes,” Ahmed smiled, lifting up the covers and sliding his
long lean body in next to Angela, “it’s the way we make it in India.
 
It will wake you up.
 
And give you energy.”

“Oh,” Angela laughed, “that’s a good thing.”

“Yes,” Ahmed leaned over and kissed Angela’s shoulder, “you
will need it.”

“No, I won’t.
 
Dora
will be here soon.
 
I’ve got to get up
and get dressed.”

“Don’t be silly,” Ahmed reached his hand underneath the
sheets.
 
“The morning is still
early.
 
And now that I have you, I won’t
let you go.”

“You have me?” Angela pushed Ahmed’s hand away and put down
her tea cup.

“Yes, you said last night.
 
You are mine.”

“I did not say that.”

“Yes you did,” Ahmed nodded his head.
 
“After I gave you pleasure.”

“Oh, I did?” Angela smiled, “Perhaps, I did at that
moment.
 
It’s just that you surprised me.
No one has done that in a long time.”

“Yes, I know,” Ahmed laughed, “I’ve wanted to do that for a
long time.”

“You have?”

“Of course.
 
But
that’s ok.
 
I understand.
 
I am a patient man.
 
I can wait a long time to get what I want.
 
From the moment I met you Angela, I knew that
you were meant to be mine.
 
We are
connected.”
 

“Stop it, Ahmed.
 
Stop joking.
 
We’ve had sex
before, remember?
 
And last night, was
just another night.
 
Just one night.
 
I couldn’t help myself.
 
I was lonely and sad.
 
And you were there.
 
For heaven’s sake.
 
Let’s not make it any more than it is.”

Ahmed’s brow furrowed.
 
“I was there?
 
I was just
there?
 
No Angela, come on.
 
Give yourself some credit.
 
I wasn’t just there.
 
Yes, we had sex before.
 
But that was different and you know it.
 
I was just showing you what I would do to a
client.
 
I couldn’t let you know how I
really felt.
 
Why do you think I have
been here, working for you for so long?
 
Huh?
 
Of course, I have been
waiting for you.
 
Waiting for you to
finally stop and see what was beneath your nose.”

“Ahmed this is crazy.
 
You are married.”

“So,” Ahmed shrugged. “So are you.
 
What does that matter?
 
We both know what our marriages mean to
us.
 
They are nothing but paper.
 
I know your husband is an asshole.
 
My wife is dead weight.
 
Am I going to let that ruin the rest of my
life?
 
When I have a chance with
you?
 
Maybe I will leave her.
 
And after I become your partner, we make even
more money together.”
 

“What?” Angela laughed.

“Yes,” Ahmed said seriously, “I have been thinking. This is
a good business you have set up.
 
You
have some fine girls.
 
Some ok.
 
Some not so good.
 
But I can get you more.
 
We can do more.
 
This is just the tip of the iceberg.
 
With my help, my ideas, this can be the
biggest escort agency in Toronto.”
 

“Ahmed, what are you talking about?”

“No, listen to me.
 
This business is growing.
 
Especially in Toronto.
Everyone here is so open minded.
 
I think
we need to make a women’s pleasure house.
 
Out in Mississauga
somewhere.
 
Off the Lakeshore.
 
Set it up like a spa, nice, elegant, and
expensive.
 
And we can bring in boys from
India.
 
We know how to pleasure women in
India.
 
Come on, Angela,” Ahmed slid his
hand along Angela’s thigh, “you know it’s a good idea.
 
Do you know how many women need a place to go
to be pleasured?”

Angela shook her head

“Fine.
 
Ok. I admit,
that it will take time.
 
Women are still
too shy about it for now.
 
But so
what?
 
There are things we can do right
now.
 
We need to get into the internet
business.
 
Web cams.
 
Porn videos.
 
We can film them, right here.
 
On
this bed.
 
We could film your girls.
 
Sure.
 
Or get new girls.
 
You know, we
could sponsor girls from India.
 
And from the Philippines.
 
Maybe from Russia.
 
Give them a place to stay.
 
Have sort of a safe dormitory for them.
 
Of course we will treat them well.
 
Teach them about business.
 
Maybe English if they need it.
 
And then give them freedom after two years.
 
Of course they will want to stay, but they
don’t have to.
 
Just a two year
contract.
 
We wouldn’t have to charge so
much for our fees. So we could get more clients.
 
And see?
 
Then you could help more women.
 
Not just these spoilt bitches you have working for you now.
 
You can help women who really need help.”

“Ahmed, you’re crazy.
 
That’s slavery.
 
It must be
illegal, or some sleaze would have done something like that before,” Angela
looked around for her cigarettes.

“No, not crazy, Angela,” Ahmed shook his head.
 
“I’ve been thinking about this a lot.
 
All day, I just drive and think.
 
Think about this.
 
We can do it right.
 
Really sponsor the girls.
 
Get them out of the shit whorehouses they are
in in their own country.
 
Come on,
Angela,” he pulled her down into his arms, “Think about it.
 
Think about me, driving all around Toronto
just thinking of you.
 
Do you think I would
do anything to hurt you?
 
To get you into
trouble?
 
Of course not.
 
Finally, you have come to your senses.
 
You got rid of that idiot husband of
yours.
 
And you are ready for me.”

“So what?” Angela scoffed, “You seduced me on purpose?
 
So I would be your business partner?”

“Oh, Angela,” Ahmed slapped his forehead.
 
“Are you not even listening to me?
 
We are of the same cloth, me and you.
 
I love you.
 
I adore you.
 
I love making you
happy.
 
And I want to make you happy
every day.
 
Every night.
 
No, not just so I can be your business
partner.
 
So I can be your life
partner.
 
So I can be your lover.
 
I don’t care about the business.
 
Not if you don’t.
 
I just thought that was what was important to
you.
 
Anyways,” he jumped out of bed and
grabbed Angela’s cigarettes from the sun room. “I know, I can help you make
your business successful.
 
I am better
than a driver.
 
I just want you to know
that I have so many ideas.
 
Don’t you
understand?
 
When I came to this country,
I had nothing.
 
Nobody.
 
And nobody helped me, but you.
 
You gave me a chance.
 
You had faith in me.
 
Trust in me.
 
You were the only one who knew that I was a real man.
 
And I can’t thank you enough for that.
 
I can’t.
 
I love you so much.
 
And I know
you were upset.
 
And I know your husband
was not nice to you.
 
You deserve to be
treated right. You are a sexy woman.
 
You
deserve to be spoiled.
 
That is what I
want to do for you.
 
Always.”

Angela shook her head and laughed at Ahmed, leaning her
head close to his as he lit her cigarette. “I don’t know,” she inhaled, “I need
time.
 
I have to think about it.”

“Of course. Of course, think about it as long as you
want.
 
I don’t care.
 
I will wait. I am here, waiting for
you.”
 
He reached over and took her
cigarette, took a drag then walked over to the vanity and put it out in the
ashtray.
 
“But not now,” he said
returning to the foot of the bed, “now our time for talking is over.”
 
He lifted the sheets and crawled underneath.

Angela felt Ahmed’s hands run over her legs, pushing them
wide apart.
 
“Oh, Ahmed,” she moaned and
closed her eyes, leaning back into the pillows.