Owning Regina: Diary of my unxpected passion for another woman (23 page)

Smack!! I felt a soft blow from the belt. It felt like magic. Then there was dead silence for what must have been two minutes. What was she doing? What was she thinking? Whatever was going on, the giant lapse had me dripping even more than I thought was possible. I was hoping she was going to shove a giant dildo up me and fuck me blue. It was such an unbearable anticipation.

Smack!! She hit me again, this time a bit harder. Smack!! Another blow came after only a second. Smack!! A hard one came a second later. Smack!! Now with the steady pace of a metronome, she whipped me with the belt at a consistent medium painful level.  Smack!! Smack!! It must have been thirty blows at a second apart. Now it was starting to hurt. I was moaning with equal parts pain and ecstasy.  Instead of craving more spankings, I was ready for our bonding. I really wanted her to kiss me and fondle my clitoris.

But that didn’t happen.  Smack!! She kept up the pace of a whipping every second. The blows were getting more severe.  She still never said anything. I moaned and whined under the pain. Smack!! She kept the pace. My ass was on fire. I was starting to really struggle to get away and felt the handcuffs cutting into my wrists. Smack!! She kept going.

Pretty soon, I was really in pain. It was beyond sexual. It was raw pain. I begged her to stop.  Really. I was begging her as in, “Please! Please stop!! I can’t take any more!  Please!! PLEASE STOP!! I BEG YOU!! PLEASE” But she wouldn’t stop. I started to thrash around involuntarily against the pain. Then I started to cry. Smack!! She kept going. I turned into a bundle of nerves, bawling at full force and begging her with all my might under my tears, “PLEAAAAAAASSEE STOPPPPP!”

And she did. It was quiet.  Again, I could feel her staring at me as I lied there sobbing, handcuffed. I was literally weeping uncontrollably. There was nothing left in me.

Finally, she put her hand on my shoulder with a soft and loving touch. It was just a hand, but it conveyed everything. It conveyed that the revenge was over. It conveyed that I was safe. It conveyed that she loved me.

She got the handcuff key from the nightstand and unlocked me. I immediately turned over on the bed and extended my arms to beckon her.  She came to me and we hugged souls. We hugged and gave gentle kisses to the neck and cheek. My ass still burned like a blowtorch wound. But the hugging and connecting did a great job of masking the discomfort of a non-consensual whipping.

Pulling back the sheets, she gestured for me to crawl in; which I did. She joined me in bed and we hugged some more. The contact was heavenly.  During the hug, she untied my corset and gradually unlaced it, then tossed it to the floor.  She broke the embrace long enough to remove all her clothes and our sexy brick boots. We were two nude lovers in bed, two girls together… staring in each other’s trusting eyes.

After a long, but silent communication, she started to softly cry and finally spoke:

REGINA

I really wanted to hurt you. I’m so sorry
. That was infantile of me. I don’t like surprises like that. I don’t want to be the butt of a joke
.

ME

Regina, I know more than anyone exactly what you mean. That’s why I despise April
Fool’s day. I promise I will always protect our boundaries.

REGINA
And I promise I will never harm you again outside of the game
.
I love you, Meg.

Needless to say, I melted and offered a warm smile that forgave her for her revenge.  She didn’t need to hear the verbal words.  Our connection said it all. And then came a sweet chuckle from her. “I don’t want to dominate you. I want to be your slave,” she confessed.  Chuckling myself and taking note of the pain on my ass, I responded with “Thank, God!”

We French kissed. It was easy. It was natural. We fell asleep together, totally nude. We slept straight through until …

--- MONDAY APRIL 2 --- Making sense of surprises

“Oh Crap!”, Regina blared out, alarming me from a dead sleep! She sprung from bed and started throwing her clothes on. “Oh no! It’s 7:20! I gotta get to school.  I can’t believe I slept so long.”

I offered to make her a quick cup of coffee, but she had to race home for her papers and a change of clothes. She told me to stay in bed and we would catch up later. It was the start of a Tucker week, so it would be a while until we saw each other in person again.  As she was about to take off, she stopped by the bed for a brief connection of looking in my eyes and sweet little kiss. She kissed each of my boobies too. “Can I see your ass?” she requested.  I pulled down the covers so she could get a look. GASP! She was visibly affected by the sight of my bruised up and cut up ass. It had welts all over the entire surface of both cheeks and thin horizontal cuts where the belt had occasionally broken the skin.

She instantly recoiled in remorse. Clearly, she felt awful about doing this to me. Very sincerely, she said, “Oh My! I feel so bad. I’m really sorry, Meg. I didn’t mean for it to go that far.” Even though I was really feeling the pain of her whipping, I wanted to assure her that everything was cool, “Don’t worry. Everything is ok. We are clear. There is no problem.  It might be very hard to sit at work today, but I will be reminded of you any time I move in my chair. I like that.”

Regina made a funny little “painful” face as if she could directly feel my wounds.  “Ok. I can’t wait to be your slave again,” she commented. “You mean the mistress’s slave,” I corrected her. “Yes,” she assured me, “That’s what I meant.”  Worried about any more delays, I told her to take off.  What a naughty little teacher! We shared a solid hug and a light kiss, and then she dashed out.

Aching along, I dragged my pathetic submissive ass to the kitchen to make some much-needed Black Cat coffee (a San Francisco brand that blasts out flavor). I put the teapot on and prepped the French press.  At that point, I noticed both my wrists had perfect circular lines around them from where the handcuffs had been cutting in during my whipping.  In fact, I had never seen outwardly visible residual marks from kinky play. They were so prominent on my wrists that it would be awkward to explain away. 

Instead of having flashbacks to the torturous struggle I had endured, the sight of the cuts took me to the sexiest part of the evening. It brought me right to that moment when Regina was standing over me with the belt… just staring down at me as I was in that vulnerable position.  I was remembering the how unbelievably turned on I was with anticipation. The handcuff cuts gave me that same sexy feeling teenagers get when they get hickies and are proud they have them. It’s a mark of having had an exceedingly passionate sexual encounter. (Later when I was making the bed, I discovered lots of little bloodstains from my wrists and ass).

I kicked on the heater and settled into the sofa with my coffee to wake up.  Sitting there, I meandered through a bunch of thoughts as I reflected on the night before.  First off all, I was really glad April Fool’s day was over.  I don’t like surprises and luckily nobody punked me.

Speaking of surprises, I was coming to understand how Regina was so hurt by me surprising her with Victoria’s visit.  Reading between the lines with Regina, it was easy to see that she was, in fact, jealous.  There I was, dominating her and sexually controlling her in a very private and intimate experience. Then suddenly, that privacy is pierced by a new person who could be seen as a threat to the moment or even the relationship. And not knowing Victoria, Regina could easily think that Victoria may unfavorably judge Regina as one of those S&M clowns from the movies like “The Gimp” in
Pulp Fiction.

Without the right setup of context or mindset, most people who would hear of someone being chained up alone in the laundry room, would think it is some kind of joke or fucked up mental disorder. So in that sense, I can understand how Regina felt violated.  It was pretty uncool of me to play the game knowing Victoria was coming and not tell Regina in advance.

However from my perspective, I thought it was fantastically hot to think that I had a beautiful woman chained and waiting for me while I took my sweet time to visit with a friend.  Thinking of the power… the sexual power, is super arousing to me.  It seemed like Regina would have been totally cool with it if she had known Victoria first and if I had told her about the visit first.

I’m positive that when the two of them finally meet, Regina will clearly see that my rapport with Victoria is anything but romantic. I think it could be a really hot element to include from time to time in our games.  For example, I think it would be amazingly sexy to bind and gag Regina in the trunk of my car, then pickup Victoria for a trip to the movies. Of course, Regina would be left in the trunk while I enjoyed popcorn with Victoria.

After the movie, I would drop Victoria at her house and then ravish Regina with loving passion afterward.  I would prove to her that being tied up in the trunk would have rewards far greater than the discomfort of being restrained during a movie. I would be the most loving mistress in the world, rubbing her feet, giving her a bubble bath, and reinforcing that she was loved and had served me brilliantly. But of course, it would all depend on Regina’s consent to redefining the
no third party
rule, which I will never violate again.

See what a little dark coffee can do to me after a ride on an emotional rollercoaster!  In further analyzing last night, I reflected about that whole submissive element that reared its head for me.

It was interesting how dominant and callous Regina became. I had never seen anything like that with her. She was a completely different person. Our sexual roles were one hundred percent reversed.  For me, it was easy and comfortable to be submissive to her.  And she seemed ultra-comfortable as my dominant.  Like I’ve said, I always craved kink in the worst way. It really doesn’t matter who is wielding the whip as long as it’s sincere and both people are on the same page.  Given the choice, I would prefer to be dominant over Regina.  I love that feeling of controlling her and bossing her.  It feels hyper-sexual for me to see her perfect yoga body in restraints.

What was particularly interesting about her domination last night was that she was using it outside of our game. She was dominating me from her real-world personality as an outlet for having been emotionally hurt by me.  At first, I didn’t mind that she was harming me outside of the game.  But when she wouldn’t stop, I was starting to get really scared. I was in so much pain and my trust was starting to fade in her. It almost seemed like she had snapped into a true sadist who wanted to torture me for real. It wasn’t fun any more.

But when the beating stopped, my trust came rushing back.  I knew that she had slipped and lost touch a bit. I didn’t blame her.  She was just working out some emotions from feeling really violated by me just a little while before.  This whole relationship (and all its peculiar sexual trappings) is new to both of us and we are trying to sort it out and make sense of everything as we speed along getting closer to each other.  I really don’t blame her for crossing the line into sadism. And upon reflection, I’m sure she doesn’t blame me for bringing Victoria into our private scene.  When you are doing something this extreme and emotional for the first time, it seems natural to have a bit of a bumpy road in while working out the kinks ;-)

--- MONDAY APRIL 2
--- Just before lunch

Dear Diary, My butt is killing me!! It is so freaking sore! For the past hour, I’ve been writing in you and need to take an immediate break to get off my seat.  Oh, and I ended up wearing a top with overly long sleeves to hide my wrist hickies. Back later.

--- MONDAY APRIL 2 --- Back at home

The rest of my workday was great. I swear I rock that job! It seems so easy for me to excel. Everyone loves me there and I never disappoint. Out of college, I always thought jobs would suck. But this gig really suits me and I’m so efficient at it that I can easily get my work done in thirty percent of the time that they think it requires!

When I make calls, I don’t beat around the bush. I always tell the person on the other end that I only have a couple minutes until I need to be somewhere else. Invariably, they accommodate and we get the call done in three or four minutes, but anybody else could have taken a half hour messing around with un-related conversation.  Anyway, I get paid for doing a good job and keeping our production company moving. So it really doesn’t matter if I do it fast. They are still getting quality work out of me.

But man… my butt was killing me so much I had to take an Advil. I never take stuff like that. I pulled down my skirt in the restroom to check it out. The welts had turned to bruises.  I took a selfie of my ass and texted it to Regina with a note saying, “Thinking of you!”   But rather than laughing about it, she still seemed sensitive and responded with. “Ouch! I’m so sorry!”  And of course, that led to a big sexting session on her lunch break that went like this: