Out of the Darkness (Untwisted #2) (20 page)

Chapter Twenty-three – Nathan

After I’d seen Stella out, I jogged to my bedroom to grab a pair of tracksuit bottoms and pull on something to cover my chest. I wasn’t exactly sure what the fuck was wrong with Nicholas, but his appearance on my doorstep in the middle of the night looking like death warmed up had certainly scared the shit out of me.

Grabbing a T-shirt, I had it halfway over my head when I noticed it was warm against my face. Frowning, I sniffed it and realised it must have been the one Stella had just been wearing. Instead of getting pissed off that she was again wearing my clothes without asking I couldn’t help but sniff the cotton again and enjoy the faint smell of her that lingered on the fabric.

As much as I would have loved to lose myself in Stella’s scent, preferably accompanied by her lithe little body, I knew that ship had sailed, I’d sent her home, not very politely either, a realisation that had me chewing on my lower lip in regret. Shaking my head, I practically snarled in annoyance at myself. She was my submissive for fuck’s sake, misplaced feeling of guilt shouldn’t be affecting me right now when what I really needed to do was get to the bottom of what ever had upset my brother.

When I returned to the lounge I felt my stomach twist with apprehension, Nicholas was sat in total darkness, highlighted only by the moon shining in through my huge, glass wall. Sighing, I shook my head. Whatever had happened had seriously messed him up; in fact, I hadn’t seen my brother this distraught for years.

I clicked on a lamp and watched as Nicholas leaned himself forwards and rested his elbows on his knees so he could hold his head in his hands. I couldn’t see his face, but I was pretty sure he was crying again and didn’t want me to see. I ran a hand through my hair and scratched at the back of my neck as I considered what to do. Fuck, I was no good at this type of thing, where the hell did I start?

Remaining silent, I padded across to him and took a seat on the wooden coffee table directly in front of his armchair. Close proximity was probably a good start; it would make him feel more supported. My eyes ran over him – he was wearing a crumpled grey T-shirt that was totally at odds with his smart trousers, ones I recognised as his concert suit because they had a line of black silk running down the side crease. It seemed he’d pretty much come here straight from his concert tonight.

‘Right then, Nicholas, tell me what happened,’ I murmured. Hopefully he’d do most of the talking and I could just do my best attempt at being a supportive brother.

Nicholas was silent for so long I thought he hadn’t heard me so I repeated my question with a little more force. ‘Nicholas, tell me what happened.’ Then, before I knew what had hit me, Nicholas had reared up from his chair, gripped my T-shirt by the collar and forced me back on the coffee table with a roar. ‘
You
, Nathan!
You
fucking happened!’ he screamed, a manic expression on his face as he shook me so violently that the back of my head bounced off the coffee table several times.

What the hell had I done?
Fuck
, I’d not seen him so crazy for years. Back when we were teenagers and dealing with the aftermath of Nicholas’ attempted suicide he would sometimes get mad, rampage around the flat for a few minutes smashing stuff, but then completely deflate and cry for hours. He was so insular and quiet at the time, never talking about what had happened or how he felt that I suppose it had been his way of letting off steam.

Assuming that tonight’s outburst was a similar venting tactic I forced myself to stay limp and calm as Nicholas discharged his stress until I eventually felt his grip loosen above me. Finally, he let go and slid to the floor next to the table where I heard several quiet sobs mix with his heavy breathing.

Sitting up I rubbed at my head with a wince. That would definitely bruise tomorrow. Then I looked to Nicholas to see if he wanted to speak yet. He was sat hugging his knees to his chest and still staring at the floor. ‘I hurt her, Nathan. I really fucking hurt Rebecca,’ he whispered thickly. So this was to do with his piano student and now girlfriend, Rebecca. The skin on my neck prickled as his words sunk in. Fuck, what the hell did he mean? Hurt emotionally or hurt physically? Having just experienced a small shot of his anger just now I suddenly got a very bad feeling in my gut.

‘Nicholas, is she OK? Where’s Rebecca now?’ I asked urgently.

Nicholas ignored me, speaking as if I wasn’t even there. ‘When I spoke to you on the phone before my concert you said I shouldn’t date her … said we couldn’t do relationships like that.’ He paused, running a shaky hand through his sweat slicked hair. ‘It got me thinking about Dad and all the shit he put me through and I thought maybe you were right, maybe I am like him, so after the concert I called Rebecca and finished with her.’ His hair got a full on tug this time as if he actually wanted to yank it from his scalp, and I winced. ‘But Rebecca wouldn’t accept it. She bloody well turned up at my house! It was the middle of the fucking night and she got in a cab with some stranger and came to my house! I was so fucking mad with her.’

None of this was easing my concern about Rebecca’s wellbeing so I tried again to establish exactly how Nicholas had ‘hurt’ Rebecca. ‘You were confused and mad, I get that, Nicholas, but what happened to Rebecca? Where is she?’

‘I told her what you said about how I was incapable of relationships and that she was better off without me but she just wouldn’t leave it be.
She’s. So. Fucking. Stubborn.
’ He was grinding the words out now, the muscles on his jaw going into hyper-drive as they twitched and tensed. ‘I guess I flipped out, I don’t really know what happened … it’s pretty blurry … but somehow I ended up in the spare room with her and I grabbed a cane …’

Oh  fuck – no.
My heart almost stopped in my chest at the implication of my brother’s words. The night that Nicholas had tried to kill himself had been because our father had beat him unconscious with a cane. Is that what he’d done to Rebecca?

‘Christ, Nicholas … is she OK? Is Rebecca OK? Do I need to make some calls?’ My mind was rapidly running through all the contacts I had who might be able to help me out if Nicholas had done some real damage to Rebecca. I had several friends who were doctors who could help if she was injured … Fuck … what if it was worse? Jesus, when I’d told him not to date her I had meant finish with her, not beat the shit out of her. What if Nicholas had really lost it? My back started to sweat profusely as my mind raced through options. I knew at least one trusted solicitor who owed me a favour …

‘Rebecca left me shortly afterwards … she’s gone home, Nathan,’ Nicholas murmured thickly.

‘She’s OK?’ I demanded.

‘She’s not OK, but she’s not dead if that’s what you mean,’ he confirmed grimly. ‘She’s furiously mad and massively disappointed with me and she’s going to have some bruises tomorrow, but she’s basically fine.’

My back sagged with relief at this news, thank fuck for that. For a few minutes there, I thought I was going to be dealing with the aftermath of something far worse than a bruised arse.

Nicholas was frantically tugging at his hair again, his eyes wild and darting around endlessly. ‘I drew blood, Nathan,
I fucking drew blood.’
Suddenly as if remembering something Nicholas began to look agitatedly at his trousers, searching across the fabric in the dim light of the lamp. A scrambled yelp left his throat and then Nicholas jumped to his feet. ‘Fucking hell!’

He practically ripped his trousers off, I assume because he found some of Rebecca’s blood there, and flung them across the room before collapsing on the sofa and staring at me.

‘What the hell have I done, Nathan? Why did you tell me to finish with her?’ His voice no longer held the anger of earlier, now he simply seemed to be pleading for answers that I couldn’t really give him.

‘Nicholas, I’m sorry things worked out this way. Christ, I never meant for this shit to happen, but basically you’ve done the right thing, the way we grew up … the beatings from Dad … we’re never going to be normal, Nicholas,’ I explained with absolute belief in my words.

‘Rebecca accepted me for who I am. Now I’ve lost her I realise just how much I need her,’ he murmured, looking at me as if imploring me to believe him.

‘Did she know about our past? About Dad? About your suicide attempt?’ I asked, feeling like a complete shit for going down this line with him, but Nicholas needed to understand how things stood, he was damaged, just as I was, relationships for us would never work out in the long run.

‘No, she didn’t. But she was so fucking amazing, she would have understood. I’ve never felt trust like that before, Nathan. I think I fucking love her and now she never wants to see me again.’

My eyes widened. Love? Holy shit, this was so much more intense than I had expected. But love? Could we love? My broken brother and I? After everything we’d been through at the hands of our own supposed loved ones? My eyes narrowed as I thought about my relationship with Stella. Would it ever move beyond a physical need for me? Wincing as I thought back guiltily to her hurt expression as she left I wondered if it already had, but dismissed the ridiculous idea with a scowl.

‘You know I respect you more than anyone in the world, Nathan, but I think you’re wrong on this one, and I think I was a fool to follow your advice,’ Nicholas said, laying himself down on the sofa and covering his eyes with a bent arm.

Shaking my head, I narrowed my eyes as Stella’s face refused to fade from my mind. Fuck. Was I wrong? Was it possible that we could love and need someone as he was suggesting?

No,
no
. I didn’t think I was wrong, and I was fairly sure that, given time, Nicholas would understand too and see that I was correct. Even with my conviction in this belief, I couldn’t seem to erase the hurt look Stella had given me as she’d left, which wasn’t helping my head to clear at all. I wasn’t used to these feelings that seemed suddenly lodged in my chest, but it probably came pretty close to what normal people would describe as affection. Screwing my eyes shut I tried to shake it off, but only succeeded in making the bruise on my head throb. Fuck. Now not only did I have to try and sort out my brother’s mess, I also had to deal with the very real possibility that just as I was developing a meaningful relationship for the first time in my life I’d probably pissed Stella off so much that I might never see her again, a thought that actually made my stomach churn with anxiety. Christ, what the hell was I doing advising my brother on relationships when I was clearly no better off? This whole night had been totally screwed up. But as I sat staring at my distraught brother whilst simultaneously panicking that Stella was gone for good I rephrased my last thought – it wasn’t the night that was screwed up, it was
me
.

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this book please review on Amazon to help spread the word!

If you are keen to find out if Nathan and Stella can overcome their issues and continue their passionate relationship then the story continues in
Into The Light
, Book Three of The Untwisted Series, out soon!

I write for my readers, so I’d love to hear your thoughts, feel free get in touch with me:

E-mail: [email protected]

Twitter: @AliceRaine1

Facebook: www.facebook.com/alice.raineauthor

Website: www.aliceraineauthor.com

When I write about my characters and scenes, I have certain images in my head. I’ve created a Pinterest page with these images in case you are curious. I hope you enjoy this little glimpse into Nicholas and Nathan’s world. You can find it at http://www.pinterest.com/alice3083/  

You will also find some teaser pics for upcoming books to whet your appetite!

Alice xx

The story continues in

Into the Light

Nathaniel Jackson and Stella Marsden’s complex and intensely erotic relationship continues in 
Into the Light
, the third novel in the highly addictive 
Untwisted
 series, following from
The Darkness Within Him
and 
Out of The Darkness
 .

As Nathan and Stella try to continue their casual ‘no strings attached’ meetings, Nathan begins to uncover something inside himself he thought he’d never experience, and as Stella falls harder for him, he discovers his jealous side – throwing their potential relationship into turmoil when he tries fighting against his own emotions.

When a misunderstanding threatens their entire relationship, Nathan needs to get past his engrained, cold behaviour influenced by his abusive father, and learn to finally let Stella into his heart – or risk losing her forever. 

The Darkness Within Him

If you enjoyed 
Fifty Shades of Grey
 or 
Bared to You
, you will love the 
Untwisted
 series which starts with 
The Darkness Within Him
 and follows the highly addictive relationship between Nicholas Jackson and Rebecca Langley.

A dizzying, all-consuming affair with famous pianist Nicholas Jackson drew in bookshop owner Rebecca Langley, engulfed her with his passion and dominance, and then spat her out heartbroken and bruised.

Now, Rebecca is left trying to move on from the relationship she shared with Nicholas, but just as she starts to clear her head, he reappears in her life determined to win her back.

But seeing as Nicholas has already shown once that the darkness within him is lurking just below the surface, can Rebecca really take that risk again with her heart and body?